Chapter Twenty-Four
Dex
Otto knew. He fucking knew that he was the baby’s sire, but how?
There was a cool, wet cloth on my forehead and a vaguely familiar female voice was speaking softly while gentle fingers pressed to my wrist, checking my pulse I assumed.
“Dexter? Can you hear me?” Paula’s words were close to my ear.
I managed to nod.
“There he is!” she said enthusiastically, plucking the cloth off my head as I opened my eyes. “Barely out for a minute. You feeling okay?”
I nodded again and sucked in a breath to respond. “I’m fine,” I managed to croak. “Probably just over tired, you know?”
Paula clucked sympathetically and slipped an arm behind me, urging me to sit up.
Once I was situated to her satisfaction, she pressed a small plastic cup of juice into my hand.
“Of course, dear. Your vital signs are all good, but let’s have you drink some apple juice to help get your blood sugar up, hm? ”
I obediently swallowed the juice down and managed to return her smile when I handed the cup back. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, doll.” Paula mock-waggled her finger at Otto. “Now, you let him get some rest!”
Otto chuckled and raised his hands in surrender. “Yes, ma’am. My new mission is to make sure both of them get everything they need.”
Paula grinned at him before crossing the room to drop the empty cup in the trash can. “You see that you do, but if you need anything else,” she trailed off and gestured to the call button.
“I’ll let you know,” Otto agreed, slipping his arm around my waist and tugging me closer.
When the door closed behind Paula, I started to pull away, but Otto wasn’t having it. “Where are you going, baby?”
“I, um.” I peered at him from the corner of my eye. I expected him to be angry, but he didn’t seem to be. “I’m crowding you.”
“You’re not,” Otto disputed, tipping his forehead to rest against my shoulder. “I want you as close to me as you can get.” He drew in a breath, very obviously scenting me. “You and our child. Is that okay?”
I nodded. “Who, um, who told you?”
“About the baby?”
I nodded again and Otto shrugged.
“You did.”
My head jerked around so fast that I wrenched my neck. “No, I didn’t. Not even before.”
Otto’s lips were trying to smile but the corners of his mouth were still turned down. “You didn’t mean to,” he acknowledged, shrugging one shoulder, “but you did. Can I ask why you didn't tell me before?”
I sighed and figuring it was better to just rip off the bandage, I forged on. “You were really specific about not wanting to even be fuck buddies,” I said baldly. “I was afraid you would think I was trying to trap you,” I swallowed hard but forced the words out, “or worse.”
“Worse?” Otto parroted looking adorably confused for the split second before my meaning set in. “Oh, gods, Dex. You thought I..” Otto was looking a little green. “Jeez, I really have been a grade A asshat, haven’t I?”
I just stared miserably at the blanket over my lap as a stuffy silence surrounded us. Several long minutes passed before Otto cleared his throat.
“I know you don’t have any reason to believe me,” he said quietly, rubbing comforting circles on my back, “but I feel terrible about how I’ve treated you.
Even though I thought I was protecting you, I went about it all wrong and was an absolute dick.
If you’ll give me another chance, I promise I’ll do better. ”
Better? Better how? I forced an inhale so I could ask.
“I’m not sure what you’re asking for,” I admitted.
“If you’ll have me, I want you, baby,” Otto said firmly. “In my life, in my house, with me in every way we can be. I want to take care of you while you grow our baby and spend the rest of my life showing you how much I care about you. Is that a little more clear?”
When I still didn’t answer, Otto moved suddenly, shifting me onto his lap. Shoving my shirt out of the way, he scraped his teeth over the sensitive skin of my neck before kissing away the sting.
“Not to put too fine a point on it,” he murmured into my ear, “but I want you to wear my bite for the rest of our days. Is that clear enough?”
I shivered in his arms as my heart rate sped up.
“Dex?”
Right, he asked me a question. “Perfectly clear, Alpha.”
~*~
Otto
My big declaration fell pretty flat as, other than acknowledging that he understood me when I pressed, Dex didn’t speak, didn’t move, barely even breathed. In my chest, the bear was confused and bordering on anxious, pawing at me when his mate didn’t respond.
Would you back down? I huffed internally. He needs a minute.
Or longer, if I was honest with myself. After all, the more my memories returned, the more I understood why Dex wasn’t falling all over himself to accept my sudden about-face.
“Dex, I’m sure this is a little hard for you to trust with the way I’ve been acting since I got home,” I said quietly, “but I mean it. You don’t need to agree to anything right now.
If you’re willing to let me court you, I want that and I’ll do my damndest to show you, to convince you that I mean it.
If that’s asking too much, if I’ve blown my chance to be with you, I’ll settle for us being friends. ”
Cuddling my Omega closer, I pressed my lips to his neck and focused on his breathing, matching the rise and fall of my chest to his.
Long silent moments passed before Dex finally spoke.
“I want to believe you,” he murmured, “but it’s just too much too soon after you were,” he shrugged, “you know.”
“At death’s door?” I suggested with a snicker.
“What? No! That’s not what I meant!” He pulled out of my embrace and leaned back, showing me the horror on his face. “I never thought you were going to die!”
“It was just a joke, baby. I’m sorry.”
“It wasn’t funny!” Dex growled, his tone chilly.
“No, I guess it wasn’t,” I agreed, pulling him back against me. “I’m sorry.”
“What I’m trying to say,” Dex said firmly, “is that this is moving too fast. You went from kicking me out before the cum even dried to wanting to claim me after a medical emergency. I can’t trust that this is going to last.” He sighed again, his breath warm and humid against my chest. “I can’t upend everything to take that chance right now. I need to focus on the baby.”
The bear whimpered at the rejection, but I ignored him.
“I get that, I do,” I assured Dex, “but I still want to take care of both of you. What if you moved into the house with me and let me take care of both of you until you’re ready to make a decision?
” I ran my hand down to stroke his tummy.
“Legally, I have a responsibility to support you anyway and I’d rather have you live with me, even if it’s platonically, than write you a monthly check. ”
There was again no response from Dex and I realized I might be being heavy-handed. “But if you don’t want to, aren’t comfortable with that, whatever, I’m happy to write a check instead. Um, I would like to be part of the baby’s life, you know?”
When there was still no response at all, it occurred to me that I didn’t know if Dex even wanted the baby. Was that why he was hesitating? Shit.
“Dex?” I shifted so I could see his face. “Baby, you know I’ll support whatever decision you make but if, um, you don’t want to raise the kiddo…”
Dex jerked back, his flashing eyes jerking up to mine. “Of course I want the baby!” he snarled. “Do you really think I would have let you put me through all of this if I didn’t?”
“I just didn’t want to assume,” I said softly, rubbing circles on his back. “Especially since you weren't planning on telling me they were mine.”
Dex sighed heavily, deflating in my lap.
“I wanted to tell you,” he said quietly.
“I wanted you at the doctor visits. I wanted you holding me when I was throwing up. I wanted you when I was suffering through those fucking flash heats. I wanted you to be in this with me but…” he trailed off with a shrug.
“But my stupid misplaced sense of duty and boneheaded behavior made you think I wouldn’t want it with you,” I finished. “I’m so sorry.”
“I didn’t know what you would do,” he whispered.
“The night we conceived, you gave me a speech about how it was a mistake that you regretted and that we shouldn’t do it again.
You said there wasn’t a place in your life for me and offered to call me an Uber, so, no, I didn’t feel safe telling you that I gotten fucking knocked up.
I mean, if you regretted the orgasm, why wouldn’t you be pissed about a child? ”
The worst part is that everything Dex said was absolutely right. I’d treated him terribly and there was no reason for him to trust me. And I had no idea how to overcome that, but it reasoned that the best way to start was to get him to move in with me.
“I understand. What about starting slow? Maybe spend a couple of nights a week together and see how it goes? We could make it at your place instead of the house if you’re more comfortable being able to tell me to leave?”
“I need some time to think about it,” Dex said in a voice that was soft but firm. “It’s not fair to expect me to make a huge life decision when the pheromones are fucking with my thought processes.”
“You’re right, baby,” I agreed, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Besides, I’m probably jumping the gun a bit since I haven’t even been discharged yet. Will you think about it, though?”
Dex nodded, his soft hair brushing the underside of my chin as he did. “Yeah, Otto. I’ll think about it.”