36. Cassie #2
“I did. I think we should make it an annual tradition.”
I grin, my heart doing a giddy little leap. “That would mean next year we would be in Boston for Stepford night.”
“It does mean that.”
“I know we joked about it before, but now that Boston is a real possibility, should we talk about it?”
His hand absently caresses my back as he looks down at me. “What do we need to talk about?”
“Well, there are a lot of logistics. The first is that we haven’t actually been together for very long, so what if we decide to move to Boston together and then you get sick of me in two months?”
Tor rolls his eyes. “That’s not going to happen.”
“I mean, of course you think that now…”
“Maybe you haven’t noticed, but I’m completely obsessed with you.”
I smile helplessly. “Again, now. But what if—?”
He interrupts. “This isn’t a concern we need to address. Next.”
“Okay…” I hesitate, then sigh, having to circle back.
“No, not okay. If we do this, I’m going to be pretty dependent on you.
I’ll find a part-time job so that I have some money of my own, but that won’t pay for my life if something does happen and you and I break up.
I’ll be alone in a city I didn’t pick out, that I can’t afford to live in, going to a college that I can’t even afford to pay for.
And I know your dad volunteered you to pay my tuition, but there’s a massive difference between buying me a Dior bag and financing my college education.
That’s a lot of money, and it is a commitment because if you change your mind later and decide not to pay for it, the only thing I can do is drop out. I cannot afford Calhoun tuition.”
Tor watches me ramble, then he says calmly, “I understand all that. I don’t expect you to be financially independent, Cassie.
You don’t even need to get a part-time job.
I know I’m signing you up for a lifestyle you can’t afford.
I told you, I’ve got it covered. You can’t believe that I gambled with my freedom to save you, but I wouldn’t pay your college tuition no matter what happens between us. ”
Even though I’m the one who brought it up, hearing him acknowledge even the possibility of us breaking up someday makes my stomach drop.
Not knowing that, of course, he continues. “If it will make you more comfortable, we can have Terry draw something up to protect you legally. Like a reverse prenup. I’ll have him draft up a contract committing me to paying all of your expenses while you attend college, even if I break up with you.”
“What if I break up with you?” I ask lightly.
“That’s cute.”
I cock an eyebrow. “What’s cute?”
“That you think I’d let you break up with me.”
“Oh, so you’ll hold my education hostage then, huh?” I joke.
“No, I’d keep paying for everything because I wouldn’t accept the breakup.”
“I don’t think you can reject a breakup. I don’t think that’s a thing.”
“I just made it a thing. Look at me being creative.”
I laugh, privately delighted that he’s so adamant about me staying with him.
“Does that ease all of your concerns?” he asks.
“Not really. You could be making yourself a loophole. You could do something to make me want to break up with you if you wanted out.”
He shakes his head. “I’m not a coward. We’ll have Terry draw up a contract before we leave. I’ll make sure you’re protected. Next issue.”
I think about it for a moment, but I don’t think there are any other issues.
It’s just that this is a big one. I don’t love approaching him about money like this because I know we’re on opposite ends of that spectrum.
I know he has a lot of it, and I’m not sure exactly how much, but I’m afraid asking about it is icky.
Maybe that’s silly because Tor knows I’m not interested in him because he has money—if anything, his money pisses me off sometimes—but it still makes me self-conscious to bring it up.
It is a fact of life, though, and something I need to consider if I’m really going to quit my job and follow this man to another state. I won’t have any kind of safety net in Boston. I’ll only have him.
We haven’t been dating for long, but we have been through things together that other people couldn’t even imagine, so I feel like we’ve definitely tested out our compatibility and commitment to one another.
It’s just that the cost of being wrong about this would be a steep one.
His contract offer is reassuring and obviously generous. Still, I can’t quite silence the little voice in the back of my mind telling me his joke about using this to trap me is only a joke because I don’t seriously want out of this relationship.
What if I did?
I don’t see that happening, but I don’t know everything about Tor. We’ve been dating for like two weeks, and if I’m extremely honest with myself, I know sometimes my body feels doubts about him that my heart and brain don’t understand.
Obviously, I can’t say that. I don’t want him to think I doubt our future because I don’t. I just want to make sure I’m being smart and careful. I’m vulnerable with him in a way he would never have to be with me, and I don’t want to end up in a bad situation.
“I don’t think I have any other concerns,” I tell him, since I can’t put any of that into words. “Do you have any?”
“Nope.”
I crack a smile. “I’m glad you gave it such careful consideration.”
“I got here before you did,” he reminds me. “I wasn’t joking about it before. I’ve already considered all this. You’re just catching up.”
That reminder does reassure me, and I know Tor is careful and thorough, so I don’t need to worry about him not thinking things through.
Sighing, I give up worrying about this and curl close to his warm body. “I think we’ll have a nice life in Boston.”
His arms tighten around me, and he kisses my forehead. “I know we will.”