37. Cassie
CASSIE
I spend the morning at the lake house making lemonade.
I double strain to get all the strawberry seeds out, so it’s quite the undertaking. A lot of people are coming to the party, but there will be plenty of other beverages, too, so I fill up one big glass dispenser and call it a day.
When I serve this lemonade, I like to pour it over a heaping portion of crushed ice, but I’m not sure how we could keep the ice from melting on the back deck where the drinks will be set up, so I decide to forgo that part for the party guests.
Realistically, I don’t like any of them anyway.
Tor said I could invite Shaley if I wanted so I’d have at least one friend here, but she’s working for me so I can attend the party.
Initially, I figure I’ll hang out with him all day, but as soon as people start showing up, I remember that I’m dating a golden god of Holbrook.
A Walters. He’s busy fielding guests who want to talk to him about football and college and business, and god knows what else, honestly, because I make it through about four before I tell him I’m going to get a drink, and I don’t come back.
I didn’t fully consider the social demands on Tor as a member of the host family—especially the only surviving son, and so recently after his brother’s death… and with his brother’s accuser here as his party date.
Tor is very much in demand today. People are curious.
Even before the catastrophic Tim stuff, I wasn’t a social butterfly, so in the aftermath, I’m certainly not equipped for it.
I’m also still a spectacle to most of these people. Tor lent me some credibility by announcing our relationship, so no one is rude to me when I’m standing next to him, but when he’s off talking to a group of his dad’s friends and I’m all alone, I feel the stares, and they bring me right back.
Coming to this party was probably a mistake.
I agreed because Tor asked me to, and it seemed like it would ease his mom’s mind if I came, but she’s busy sprinkling her witch dust across far too many people today, and I have no one.
To make matters even worse, Nina shows up.
It should have occurred to me that she would be invited, but it didn’t.
She was one of Tim’s friends, and all his old friends are here, just like they would be if he were still alive.
Several of the guys who helped move me out of my mom’s house have been lighting off fireworks “in Tim’s honor” in the backyard.
I hate this party.
If I had any doubt that the party also hates me, it would dissolve when I overhear Nina talking to one of her friends, a girl who was at the party last summer as well but not on the boat with us.
“It’s so weird that she’s here,” Nina says, and I know instantly she’s talking about me.
“Right?” Kyra agrees. “I can’t believe he brought her, of all people. Like, it’s genuinely shocking.”
“It’s disrespectful is what it is,” Nina states. “I know Tor tends to do his own thing more than Tim did, but this is just too far. Someone needs to save that man from himself. He’s clearly thinking with his dick and not even considering how bad this looks.”
“But I don’t get it. Like, yeah, she’s pretty, but so are other girls, and practically any girl here would give him the same thing and be so much less trouble. I know I would. Why would he even want to sleep with her? She literally got his brother killed.”
“Girl, don’t ask me to explain these men. Tim liked her psycho little ass for a minute, too. You’d really think Tor would have learned from his brother’s mistakes.”
Kyra sighs, shaking her head. “Men are so dumb.”
“So dumb,” Nina agrees. Then, after a beat, she continues, “He has the sexiest smile, though, doesn’t he? Just that little hint of trouble.” She does her signature sultry-eyed nose wrinkle. “He has a darkness about him that Tim didn’t have. It’s sexy as hell. I bet he’s good in bed.”
“His eyes are what get me. He and Tim both have such pretty eyes.”
“Mm-hmm,” Nina murmurs in agreement. “They got ’em honest. Where is my future father-in-law?” she asks lightly, looking around. “I haven’t said hi to him yet. Tim’s dad has always loved me.” She must spot him because she does her flirty little smile and wave combo. “Hi, Mr. Walters.”
“I miss Tim,” Kyra says sadly. “It’s so fucked that he’s not with us today.”
“Yeah, you can thank Tor’s crazy-ass girlfriend for that. Let’s go say hi.”
My stomach is in knots by the time Nina and Kyra drift out of earshot, but I definitely heard enough.
You never get used to hearing people talk about you like that.
Or, if you do, it must take longer than a year.
Sighing, I decide to get myself some lemonade and a plate of food and hide out somewhere for a while. I debate briefly just going back to my apartment. If I left now and came back for the fireworks, Tor might not even notice.
I can’t find a spot away from people where I don’t catch an odd stare, so in a move that brings me right back to senior year of high school, I decide to hide out in my car and eat.
It’s not so bad. I turn on the air-conditioning to cool off and scroll on my phone a bit. I tell myself this time next year, Tor and I will have new friends in a new city and we won’t have to come home to parties like this.
I don’t know if it’s true, though.
Our future is a question mark. I don’t know if Tor plans to come back for the summers. Maybe I should have asked him.
Sunset finally approaches, and that means fireworks should be starting soon.
A lot of people have already set up blankets on the lawn in the backyard, but Tor mentioned earlier that we’d take the boat out on the lake and at least enjoy the fireworks together.
I’ve been looking forward to it all day.
I go looking for him before it gets dark.
I search the yard and the back deck. He’s definitely not in the pool.
I wander inside the house, thinking maybe he needed to refill something or he’s taking an air-conditioning break since it’s so hot today, but when I close the sliding glass door and turn, it’s not Tor I come face-to-face with.
It’s Nina.
“Looking for Tor?” she asks with taunting innocence that makes my heart drop. “I noticed he’s been dodging you all night. Probably realized letting you come was a huge mistake. Enjoy your fifteen minutes, babe. They’ll be over before you know it.”
She brushes past me, but I’ve had such a long day, I decide not to let it go. “You know, you’re a real asshole.”
Jaw dropping, she turns back. “Me?” she says, indicating herself and drawing my attention to her stupid boobs in her blue-striped bikini top. “I’m the asshole?”
“Yes. You go out of your way to make me feel like shit, and you don’t know anything. You defend Tim because he was your friend and he fucked you once in a while, but you weren’t there. You don’t know what he did to me—and worst of all, you don’t care.”
“Bitch, yes, I was. Don’t tell me you missed me the whole goddamn night. Maybe you were too busy drawing hearts in your notebook around Tim’s name instead of your boyfriend’s, but I’m not some outsider you can make shit up to. I was there, and that’s exactly how I know you’re a fucking liar.”
Someone makes the unfortunate decision to open the sliding door to come inside, but after glancing between Nina and me, he changes his mind and turns back around.
“I didn’t mean you weren’t at the party. You weren’t in the bedroom. You act like you know what happened just because you were there that night, but you don’t know what happens between two people when—”
She interrupts, eyebrows hiked up. “No, I know what happened because I was with him, and I know Tim was good, but even he can’t fuck two bitches at the same time if they’re not in the same place.”
Scowling, I stare at her. “What are you talking about? He slept with you—what, before he went into the room with me? After?”
Either scenario is extremely fucked up, but it’s not like having sex more than once in a night is impossible. Tor and I have done it.
Nina shakes her head, looking at me with open disgust. “My god, you’re so fucking delusional. It’s like you believe your own bullshit. You really need professional help.”
“I’m just trying to understand what you’re saying. Even if he slept with you the same night, that doesn’t mean—”
“He didn’t just sleep with me the same night, Cassie, he was fucking me when you claim he was raping you, and you know he was,” she says, looking like she wants to shake me.
“You flashed him eyes on the boat and tried your virginal bullshit, and he didn’t take the fucking bait.
He wanted a woman who knows how to please him, not some stupid little girl with a crush.
You couldn’t handle the rejection. You wanted to punish him.
That’s why you were unhinged enough to actually try ruining his reputation, but that didn’t go how you thought it would, did it? ”
I feel like she just punched me in the gut. Drawing breath suddenly takes effort. “That’s not true.”
“Yes, it is. I saw you leave, Cassie. You stormed right by us. You were so pissed off. You might be able to lie to other people, but I remember what actually happened. I know you’re full of shit.”
“I wasn’t pissed, I was upset. And I didn’t see you…” I start shaking my head, and I can’t seem to stop. I’m so tired of people making me feel crazy. “You’re lying about everything.”
“Yeah, I’m the fucking liar here,” she says, rolling her eyes. Spinning on her heel, she opens the sliding glass door and goes back out to the party.
At first, I’m just… stunned.
I’m no stranger to the viciousness of people’s single-minded defense of Tim Walters, but typically the words aren’t flung directly at me, face-to-face.
I’ve been called a liar more times than I could possibly count, but Nina was there that night, and for her to attack me with such ferocity, to say such awful things we both know aren’t true…
It doesn’t make sense.