Chapter 17
“Welcome back, my dear.”
Ylva smiled at Helga, who beamed in return. As soon as they had reached the village, Ulf had brought her to the hut where Judith had been taken care of all those weeks ago.
“Thank you. It’s good to be back in the village.” And it was. Everything felt familiar, comforting—and little wonder. It was the first place of safety she had known since she’d been a child at home with her parents.
“I see you have not come alone.”
The old woman chuckled as she nodded at her swollen stomach and Ylva felt herself go red to the roots of her hair. This had not taken long…
Seeing her embarrassment, Ulf answered in her stead.
“No. As a matter of fact this is why Ylva is here. No one in her new village is competent enough to help her. But she’s been suffering badly from morning sickness for weeks and was wondering if it—”
“And how do you know all that, might I ask?”
The heat in Ylva’s body turned to ice. They had agreed not to reveal the identity of the father of her child before she was ready but Ulf’s answer had betrayed a level of interest in her well-being and an intimate knowledge of her plight that were suspicious.
As could have been predicted, however, he didn’t let the question ruffle him.
“She told me this morning, when she arrived, why she was here. I was the first person to meet her. I brought her straight here.”
“Mm. And how did she come? I see no horses. Don’t tell me she walked for miles and miles in her condition?”
“No. The miller from her village offered her a seat on his cart. He had business in town and has already left.”
Where was he finding all this? Fortunately, Helga seemed happy enough to accept his explanations. She gestured to the inside of the hut.
“Well, then, Ulf Steinarsson, you can leave us. This is none of your concern.”
Though the opposite was actually true, he nodded and headed back toward his own hut.
“Come in, my dear, have a drink. You’ll be able to tell me everything.”
While sipping an excellent tisane sweetened with honey and livened by a pinch of what she was told was caraway seed, Ylva told the healer what had been happening to her each morning for months now.
“Mm. Do you know when the babe was conceived?”
Though she knew the exact moment, she thought it better to be as vague as possible. “Around the end of the year.”
She should have guessed this would be enough to raise the woman’s suspicion. “That’s around the time you were in the village, is it not?”
“Yes.” What else could she say? It had been. Should she make up a story? Explain that just after she had left she had met a man? No. Not only was she loath to lie, but eventually everyone would find out who the real father was. She would just have to let the woman think what she wanted for now.
There was a silence. Then Helga stood up.
“Let us see what transpires, shall we, and make sure everything is as should be?” She gestured to the fur pallet. “Have I got your permission to examine you intimately? I would not normally do it at this later stage but I don’t know you so, it’s not a bad idea.”
Ylva took in a deep inhale. The healer was old enough to look like the grandmother she had never known.
It helped her relax and accept submitting herself to the unusual examination.
That was why she was here, because she wanted to know for sure that everything was fine.
She loved the new life blossoming inside her and at times had worried about her baby’s health.
Was it normal to be so sick in the mornings?
Shouldn’t she be bigger by now? Could she do anything to ensure the babe’s good development?
Was the fact that she was still untouched going to pose a problem later on, during the birth?
Not having had any mother or any benevolent feminine figure while growing up to impart her knowledge, Ylva was glad to have someone who might set her fears at rest.
She closed her eyes and allowed her mind to drift away. When she opened her eyes again, Helga was washing her hands.
“Is everything all right, then, with…everything?”
“Perfectly all right. Were you worried something might be wrong?” the old woman added, picking up her tone.
Ylva took in a deep inhale, feeling ridiculous. Should she tell her what was on her mind? Yes. She needed to know that her unusual state of affairs would not harm her baby. That was the priority. Any embarrassment she might feel should not be allowed to stand in the way of the child’s health.
Besides, understanding how she could have fallen with child would set her mind at rest for the remainder of her term.
“No. But you see, I was wondering if… Well. I know you will find it hard to believe me, considering why I’m here but I am, in effect, still a virgin. That is, I have never lain with a man…in that way.”
“In what way, then?” There was no judgment in the question, only the will to make sense of the situation and give the best advice possible.
“U—the father— He pleasured himself first and then he…used his fingers to pleasure me in turn.”
She would not reveal the whole extent of what they had done, that she had touched herself in front of Ulf’s rapt gaze or fed him her fingers afterward or tasted his release or that he’d used his mouth on her as well as his fingers.
None of this was relevant, she didn’t think.
But the fact that he had plunged fingers coated with seed inside her probably was.
“I see. I suppose some of his seed had dripped onto the fingers he used to pleasure you?”
“Yes.” The thought had aroused her like nothing else, and the slickness had felt wonderful. She had not thought it could pose any threat at the time, and neither had Ulf, apparently, because she doubted he would have wanted to risk making her with child.
And yet, she was carrying the proof that it was possible.
“Well then. It’s certainly unusual but apparently, it was enough. And after all, it is little wonder. It is a man’s seed that makes a baby, not his organ. But this will be one of the oddest cases I have ever encountered, I will not lie to you,” Helga said with a smile.
Ylva forced herself to smile back. “Will it not pose any problem when my time comes?”
“I shouldn’t think so.”
Relief flooded through her. “So everything is as it should be?”
With the baby at least. The rest was more complicated.
Ulf had brought her back to his village but they had not discussed what would happen.
He had held her tenderly more than once but he had not even tried to kiss her.
They were going to be parents but they had never slept together.
She was about to give birth but she was still a virgin.
“Yes, everything is as it should be, even if you are suffering more than most with this morning sickness. I will give you some herbs that might help. But really all we can do is wait for it to pass. It should eventually.”
“Thank you.”
Ylva didn’t need to ask when the baby was due. Exactly nine months after her single wild night with Ulf. In other words, only four months from now. Less than a year after they had met.
She swallowed.
Of course, the two of them had not met, as such—she had tried to kill him. How could two people who had first crossed paths under such circumstances ever share a life? Except… They were already doing more than sharing a life. They had created a life.
Ylva placed a hand over her swollen stomach. From the moment she had set eyes on the handsome Norseman, everything had been a whirlwind.
“Do you have a place to stay for the night, my dear?” The healer’s voice cut through her musings.
“I suppose I will stay with Ulf, like I did before.”
“Yes.” Helga’s eyes gleamed. Drat, it would seem that she had guessed who the mysterious man who had pleasured her could be. “I suppose you had better do that.”
“Where on earth have you been? You disappeared without warning.”
Ulf sighed and looked at Rothgar. What could he say to explain his sudden departure and absence?
He and Ylva had agreed not to reveal that he was the father of her baby just yet but eventually he would have to tell his family.
He might as well start now. His brother could be trusted to keep the secret.
Besides, he needed to confide in someone.
The last three days had turned his life upside down and he was still reeling from the discovery.
Perhaps talking with someone would help him deal with it all.
“You remember Judith, Ylva’s friend?”
Rothgar stared at him as if he’d gone mad. “Yes, of course, I remember the woman who was brought here half dead, who was the reason someone tried to kill you, who vanished only a few days after—”
“All right.” It had been a stupid question, admittedly. “Well, she came to find me the other morning. I went with her. That’s why I left so unexpectedly.”
“I see.” A frown. “But I thought…”
“What did you think?”
“Well, to be honest, I’m surprised you went with her. I thought it was her friend you were interested in.”
It was Ulf’s turn to stare in disbelief.
Ylva had barely stayed a few days in the village and no one—except Judith, of course, who had seen everything—knew what had happened between them.
Rothgar had not even spoken to her and yet somehow he had guessed that she had been more than a guest. He had always been more perceptive than most, but really, this was incredible.
“What on earth made you think I was interested in her?”
“Uh, let me see… Because she stayed alone with you in your hut? Because you took her to the beach one day and came back looking and acting like a different man? Because since she disappeared you—”
“Will you stop doing that?” Ulf snapped. “It is very annoying. I wonder how Asta bears your company.”
“Don’t worry about her, she bears it very well. She loves it, because she loves everything about me.” Rothgar smiled and crossed his arms over his chest. Ulf often wondered who, of the two of them, was the oldest, and never more so than now.
“I don’t think I want to know more, thank you.”
“No. Which is good, as I’m not going to tell you more.” A pause. “So, brother mine. Why don’t you just tell me what you want to tell me? ’Twill be easier, I think.”
Yes. But where to start?
“Ylva is carrying my child,” Ulf blurted out. “That’s what Judith came to tell me, why I had to leave so precipitously. I had no idea, until I saw her…until I saw the babe. She’s already five months gone. And glowing with it. So fucking beautiful.”
There.
He sat down, feeling slightly dazed. Having said the words out loud made it all real. It was happening. He was having a baby with a woman he still wasn’t sure wanted to stay with him. A woman he already knew he would not accept to be parted from ever again.
A hand landed on his shoulder. “How do you feel?”
“Worried she might leave again. Petrified something might go wrong with the babe. Unsure what to do or how to be a father.” He swallowed. “But mainly…ecstatic. Happier than I’ve ever been. Like I’ve finally found what I wanted to do with my life.”
Rothgar nodded, once again looking wise beyond his years. “Exactly as you should feel, I expect. Well, then, congratulations.”
“I think Helga has guessed who the father of the baby is,” Ylva told Ulf once they had broken their fast.
The evening before there had been no opportunity for discussion.
After a long ride, her body had been clamoring for a rest and the relief of hearing from Helga that all was as it should be had robbed her of what little strength she’d had left.
She had barely found the will to eat something before crawling into the pallet Ulf had prepared for her.
Had she not immediately fallen into oblivion, she might have asked him to lie with her, but she had fallen asleep before she could voice her wish.
“I had no choice but to tell her when I thought the conception happened,” she carried on, placing another handful of nuts on her wooden plate.
By some miracle, she had not been sick yet that morning, even if she did feel nauseous.
Perhaps Helga’s brew was responsible for this happy development, or perhaps it was a coincidence.
Either way, it was a relief. “And she immediately understood it coincided with the week I spent in the village.”
Ulf nodded slowly. “Of course. She will have drawn the inevitable conclusion. While we are here, I must tell you that Rothgar knows too. He was asking where I’d gone and I…
just told him. I hope you don’t mind, but it was too hard to keep the secret to myself.
The two of us have always shared everything and I needed to talk to someone. ”
Yes, she understood that need all too well. The first thing she had done when she had found out she was going to be a mother had been to confide in Judith. It made sense he’d wanted to share the news with someone he trusted.
Abandoning the nuts, she stood up and started pacing around the room. “It’s all right. Your family will be the first ones to be told, anyway. They have the right to know.”
Which meant that they had to decide what to do.
Did Ulf expect her to come live in his hut, and if so, under what terms?
Did he just want to help support the child or did he wish for more?
Did he actually want to be with her as man and wife?
Perhaps. The way he looked at her seemed to suggest he had feelings for her.
Regardless, people would need to be told sooner or later that he was the father of her child.
It might as well be now. Another few days, or even a few weeks, would make no difference.
Two people knew already, and she had not even been in the village for a full day.
It would be better to be honest. She would hate to create problems or make people think they were hiding something.
Ylva took in a deep breath. “I think we should just—”
A knock behind her interrupted her. Ulf nodded, indicating she should open the door, seeing as she was closer. Well, that answered part of her question, at least. He considered she was where she was supposed to be and should behave as if this were her home.
It only comforted her in the idea that they should tell everyone what the situation was. After all, there was no shame in it.
The door opened on a tall, slim Saxon man with hair of an unusual shade of brown.
Unusual because it was the same as hers.
This caused Ylva’s heartbeat to pick up.
She had so often been told that the color of her hair was unlike anyone else’s that she couldn’t help but feel some connection to the stranger.
“Good morning. Are you Ylva?” He looked and sounded rather nervous.
“Yes.”
For a reason she couldn’t fathom, her skin started to prickle. She felt Ulf come stand next to her, and she was glad for the support. She had the impression she was going to need it before too long.
“I’m Oslac. Your brother.”