CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Raina laid Marc’s phone down on the kitchen island with a very tremulous hand. She busied her shaking fingers by pushing her hair away from her shoulders, and she took some shallow breaths.
‘Well,’ she finally said. ‘That’s very different to his usual stuff.’
The entire room had read the article alongside her. Solana was turning away to hide the fact that she was crying. Pepper was staring into the abyss. Deedee and Anita were both fighting back emotion. Matt was unreadable and Marc was looking at Solana with concern.
‘I suppose if—’
‘What the hell are you still doing here?’ Solana interrupted Raina with an outraged screech. ‘Go and find him! Right now!’
‘I second that,’ croaked Anita, and Deedee nodded. ‘You have a guy bringing your family and audience to your award show, buying you amazing shoes and writing a public declaration of love, and I can’t even get a voice note back.’
‘It’s late,’ Matt said softly.
‘Shut up, Matt! Who asked you?’ barked Solana, before turning to stare at Raina. ‘Rai. Come on.’
Raina pressed a hand to her stomach, remembering that she was still fully laced into a poufy, beautiful dress. ‘I . . . I don’t—’
‘That was brave of him,’ Pepper said, her usually brash voice joining the conversation with a gentle sort of wisdom. Her expression far away. ‘I’d go and find him, Rai. Having the one that got away is hard enough. Having the one you pushed away is even worse. Believe me.’
Solana squeezed the heiress’s shoulder, but her gaze was steady and fixed upon her sister. Raina stared back, all of the conflicting emotions whirring around her in a strange orbit.
Raina pictured his face and wanted to cry.
She remembered the belly laughs they’d shared in the crab shack.
The feel of his arms around her on the riverboat.
Smudging her lipstick on her kitchen island.
The ghosts of that evening were with her in the room now.
The echo of a passionate turning in the road.
Knowing that the joy she’d experienced at seeing her community up on that balcony was because of him.
She hitched up the skirts of her dress and ran for the door.
‘Fucking yes!’ cried Solana. ‘Wait! Do you want me to drive you?’
‘Yes, please,’ Raina called back, changing from the beautiful pink satin shoes into some sparkling wellies. ‘Fulham?’
‘We’ll take the bridge, let’s go!’
Solana grabbed her keys, and the two sisters bolted to the Mini parked on the street.
‘Just promise you’ll do this for me someday,’ Solana gushed as she started the engine.
‘Noted,’ Raina promised, as she hauled all of her dress into the passenger side. ‘Now go!’
Solana drove in a frenzy. Raina had to grab the handle above her head and hold on with a grimace.
Fortunately, it was a Monday night in London’s hazy summer, and Barnes was relatively quiet, not too many cars out.
As they whipped around a corner and made their way towards the Hammersmith Bridge, Raina felt a strong, resolute need inside of her.
‘Solana, stop the car.’
‘What? But—’
‘Stop the car now!’
‘What?!’
‘This is my favourite bridge!’
Solana slammed on the brakes but Raina was already halfway out.
She hiked up her dress and started running towards the bridge.
She ignored her sister’s calls and kept running.
If she ended up having to run all the way to Fulham, she would.
She didn’t know his actual address, but she was quite happy to knock on each and every door.
She stopped as she reached the bridge. It was almost deserted, only a cyclist coming towards her.
And one figure at the far end.
They faced each other, most of the bridge stretched out between them. Raina felt the entire night inside of her heart. The elation of winning, of being recognized. The enoughness she’d felt, long before that moment was given to her.
Then the agonizing loss she’d felt at not seeing him in the audience.
‘Hey!’ she shouted. He turned at her voice and everything she’d been feeling showed in his face. ‘This side of the river doesn’t allow any cynics or dudes with terrible friends. Are you in the right part of town?’
He studied her from his side of the bridge. ‘Lucky for you, I used to be those things but, these days, not so much.’
‘Oh, yeah?’ she spoke around the lump in her throat. ‘What changed your mind?’
‘Less of a what, more of a who.’
‘Are you waiting for someone?’
He took a step forward. He looked worn out. But stoically hopeful. ‘Yeah. The love of my life; she lives near here.’
Raina let out a half-laugh, half-sob.
And she started to run, yanking the dress up so it wouldn’t trip her or catch on the bridge. He started to run also. She picked up speed and pushed out every breath with a gasp.
She hit his body with the force of a train, almost knocking him to the ground. She buried her face in the lapels of his black coat and made a noise of contentment and frustration. She had no chance of verbalizing what it was she was feeling, so it was a relief when he kissed her.
‘I could kill you, Tom Branimir,’ she said against his mouth.
‘I’m so sorry,’ he said when he finally needed breath. ‘I’m sorry, Raina.’
‘Shut up.’ She pulled his face back to hers. ‘For once, shut up!’
They appeared to become one person on the bridge, earning a few looks from cyclists and the odd passer-by.
Raina had no idea how long they’d been standing there by the time they finally pulled apart again.
She laughed at the red lipstick stains on his mouth.
She kissed the corner of his lips, to mark him there, too.
‘You’re welcome to tell me to jump in the Thames,’ he said, and she laughed, ‘but I would really like to take you home now.’
Raina blinked ferociously then grinned. ‘I knew it.’
‘What?’
‘You have been following me. Showing up here every night. Romantic gesture, perhaps. Obsessive behaviour? Very likely.’
‘I am obsessed with you. Went for a walk because the piece was out and I ended up here. Only briefly thought about jumping in the river.’
‘I read it.’
‘I wanted you to. I told Seb and Ottie I’m done with them. I have no interest in seeing either of them ever again.’
‘Tom. They were your friends—’
‘Like hell they were. They’ll chase fame until they drop. Whatever they and I had, it died long ago. Besides, after what she did to you, I could never . . . would never . . .’
His mouth was on hers again, and it was the two of them working through the strange, unexpected agony of the past few days.
‘This really is my favourite bridge,’ Raina said, moments later.
He nodded. ‘Well. Now it’s mine, too.’
Solana was waiting by the car for the two of them as they appeared on the southside of the bridge, holding hands. Her mouth opened and closed in shock as she recognized Tom, then she turned her face away again.
Raina smiled fondly. ‘Sol’s been quite emotional this evening.’
‘Nothing like this will ever happen to me,’ her sister lamented. ‘Get in, losers.’
Tom and Raina slid in the back of the car and made out like teenagers while Solana loudly told them to wait until they were at the house.
When they finally pulled up outside the building, Pepper was sitting on the top step of the stoop.
She didn’t look surprised by what was going on in the backseat.
‘Hey,’ she said to Tom quietly as they fell out of the car. ‘Second chance only. No thirds.’
Tom’s face grew serious, and he nodded, very slightly. Proving to her that he understood fully. ‘I think you deserve a second chance, too, Pep. I’m sure Dexter agrees with me.’
Raina watched something change in her friend’s face.
‘Yeah,’ Pepper said softly, turning to smile at Raina. ‘I think . . . I think I’m going to go home and make a phone call. I have something I need to fix as well. Not sure I’ll write an article, but you know . . . same sentiment.’
‘You okay?’ Raina asked.
‘Yeah,’ Pepper said. ‘Think . . . think I might be growing up a bit.’
‘You’re welcome to stay,’ Raina told her as she shoved open the old front door. ‘But I’d recommend some earplugs.’
‘Oh, how vulgar!’ cried Pepper, but it was with a reluctant grin as she clopped down the steps. ‘Come on, Sol. I need your taxi service. Got someone I need to see. Phone call won’t do it, now that I think about it.’
‘Sounds good. Like I don’t already feel like a massive third wheel, let’s go deal with your love life, too,’ Solana said from the car. Then she looked up at Raina. ‘Love you.’
Raina’s face crumpled, for the briefest second. ‘Love you for ever.’
‘Mushy, mushy,’ Pepper muttered, slipping into the car. ‘Be safe, kids!’
Raina waved until the car was gone from view. Then she stepped inside the house, pulling Tom in after her. Everyone else had obviously left before their return, which was perfect. Raina started to insistently pull Tom towards the living room.
‘I should warn you,’ he said between kisses, ‘that piece is going super viral. Way more than me and the editor expected.’
‘Who knew people love that sort of thing?’
‘My reputation as a hard arse is ruined.’
‘Seem hard enough to me.’
‘Young lady, you’re an award winner now. You’re a role model. You can’t talk about erections, even if you’re the temptress causing them.’
As they lay sprawled across the couch, she watched him drink in her face. His eyes were full of something that would have made her younger, more romantic self gape. ‘Missed you, Raina.’
‘Missed you, too.’
‘I don’t want to be apart again. Ever.’
She nestled against him and felt everything in her settle. ‘Okay, Your Majesty.’
‘Think I’m well and truly dethroned.’
‘Well, hopefully this award will push me to new heights. I’ll keep both of us in hot dinners and Liberty ties.’
He snorted at that. ‘Did you like the shoes?’
‘I loved them. But I loved what you did at the ceremony more.’
‘Well . . .’ He looked a little bashful. ‘You deserved to see a fraction of the love that’s out there for you.’
She touched his face with the pad of one finger and spoke softly. ‘I love you, Tom.’
Something vulnerable flashed in his face. ‘Really?’
‘Think so. Feels pretty permanent.’
‘I made it into the elite club of people Raina Lewis cares about?’
Raina laughed, sitting up to showcase the new dress a little better. ‘Like it?’
‘Love it. Love the girl in it more.’
‘Didn’t you make me a very specific promise about this dress?’ she murmured.
‘Yes,’ Tom said, something ravenous entering his voice.
He undressed her with as much restraint as he could manage, while Raina pressed slow and gentle kisses to his face and neck.
She showed him she loved him with every touch and there was a moment when they both became a little overcome.
Her eyes watered and his breathing grew laboured and harsh.
He crushed her to him, and they waited for the moment to ebb away.
‘I love you,’ he whispered.
‘I know, honey,’ she said, pushing his shirt away from his body. ‘I love you, too. Even your annoying parts. You’re everything I wanted but was told I’d never have at age fifteen.’
‘Listen to me,’ he said, running his hand over her face, her neck and across her décolletage.
‘I fucking love you. I’ve been dying. These past few days, it’s been agony.
I won’t do it again. I was a sarcastic, eye-rolling cynic who’s been transformed into a hopeless case by you, which means you’re responsible.
You’re stuck with me. I’m not going another day without you, Raina. ’
Raina smiled. ‘I hope some of the grumpy writer is still in there. He’s the one I fell in love with.’
He pressed a kiss between her breasts. ‘First time I ever saw you, this is what I wanted. Not a story. This. Heart, body and soul. And incredible brain.’
‘I know.’ She kissed his ear as he repositioned them. ‘I’ve always known.’
She kissed him again. At almost the exact moment night blended into a new morning, she let that last tiny speck of her soul out. She gave it willingly.
He was going to be careful with it. She could tell.