Chapter 21 #2
His damned scent wafted over to me every few seconds and I got the urge to rub against him until I was marked with his smell.
He seemed infuriatingly unaffected by me again, just watching the movie, chill as could be.
I let out a slow, deep breath, trying to get control of myself before I did something immensely stupid.
Like beg him to fuck me over the back of the couch. Or on the floor. Or on the kitchen counter. You know, for old times sake.
“You’re staring,” he murmured, mimicking my words from that night.
“Sorry,” I rushed out as heat flooded my face.
One of his brows quirked up and he smirked at me, siphoning the air from my lungs.
Fuck, he was gorgeous. He had only seemed to grow more attractive in the years he’d been gone, more devastating to my senses.
I idly wondered what he’d look like in twenty years, or thirty. Would I even be around to find out?
Theo’s phone vibrated with a text on the table in front of us. His brows furrowed as he unlocked it, his fingers flying across the screen to type out a response.
“What’s that about?” My mouth formed the words before my brain caught up and I winced internally. “Wait, never mind. That’s not my business. I’m sorry.”
“Dawson, it’s okay. I don’t mind telling you.”
“No, it’s not. That’s...I have no right being nosy like that.”
“I don’t see it like that and I’m not going to keep secrets anymore,” he said firmly. “It was Corvin.”
Icy dread slid down my spine and I did my best to smooth out my features. “Oh? What did he want?”
“He asked me to go out with him and some friends tonight.”
I wonder how much it would cost Dad to bail me out after I break Corvin’s spine during practice tomorrow?
The burger I ate suddenly felt heavy and sour in my stomach. I couldn’t place Theo’s tone and how he felt about Corvin’s invitation. My chest thudded uncomfortably and I dug my nails into my palms, the small bite of pain doing nothing to ground me.
“Gotcha. Well, that’s, um…that’s cool. He’s, you know, a good guy and you’ll have fun together.”
“Do you really mean that?”
“Sure. Why not?”
Theo didn’t answer and a cold sweat broke out on the back of my neck.
My gaze was riveted to the TV, praying I looked calm on the outside while a fucking hurricane tore through my chest. Theo leaned back and draped an arm on the couch behind my shoulders.
I barely held back from launching myself to the other side of the room, so I didn’t sink into him and let him hold me while I fell to pieces inside.
“Hmm…it’s a shame you mean that because I told him no.”
I whipped my head toward him so fast my neck popped painfully. “You what?”
“I told him no.”
“Why?”
Theo glanced at me, every line of his faces calm and sincere.
“He’s not you.”
“But you gave him your number. You hooked up with him, so you clearly liked him, and—”
“Dawson, I told you. None of that meant anything to me. I have no interest in him like that. And I only gave him my number because he asked if we could be friends and get coffee sometime. He’s a nice guy. I don’t…have a lot of friends anymore. Well, none really except for you and Dani.”
His careful admission made my heart hurt for him. I didn’t want to comfort him with platitudes and say it wasn’t true when he clearly felt otherwise.
“Why do you say that?”
Theo fell silent, picking at the remains of his food while a dozen emotions ran across his face. I itched to reach out and comfort him, so I smoothed my hand over his thigh, squeezing it gently. His chin dropped as he looked at my hand, timidly grasping it and lacing our fingers together.
“I had some pretty good friends at Sam Houston State while I was there. But there were periods where I was on and off my pills, so I was in and out of cycles for a couple years. They knew something was up, just didn’t know what.
I finally got the guts to tell them I was bipolar when I got sick of them saying I was acting crazy all the time. ”
His disgust at the word was easy to hear. His reaction to me calling him crazy that night in my bedroom made perfect sense now, and I felt like shit for it.
“You’re not crazy,” I told him firmly.
“They seemed to think so. Everything changed once I told them.”
“How so?”
“I became the disease,” he croaked. “It was like Theo disappeared and all they saw was my disorder. They blamed it for anything I did. If I laughed too much, I had to be manic. If I was quieter than usual, I was depressed. They became scared of me, of what I’d do if they said the wrong thing or if I had a bad day.
To them, I was a tornado without a warning siren.
Eventually, they decided I wasn’t worth the trouble and ghosted me.
The irony of it all was that I didn’t become truly unstable until I didn’t have them around anymore.
I started spiraling out of control and it got me sent back here. ”
My body moved without conscious thought, straddling him in one smooth movement. Theo’s eyes bugged out even as his hands gripped at my hips. I cupped one cheek, tracing his jaw gently with my thumb. Theo’s eyes slid closed and he leaned into my palm, flooding my chest with warmth.
“They didn’t deserve you, Theo. You are one of the kindest, funniest, most captivating people I’ve ever met. You have a way of making everyone feel important, like they matter. Life is just better with you around and if they couldn’t see that, then they didn’t fucking deserve you.”
Tears rimmed his lashes and he blinked them away, huffing a dismissive laugh. “Nah, I’m nothing special. I’m a fuck-up, Dawson. I’m good for a few laughs maybe, but I’m still just a fuck-up.”
The self-effacing comment cut through me like a blade, completely unlike the Theo I had known for half my life.
“You are not a fuck-up,” I ground out. “This isn’t you. The boy I fell for was so confident and full of life that he fucking glowed with it. Don’t let this disease or those assholes dim any part of you.”
His expression shuttered, defeat washing over his features.
“I’m not the boy you fell in love with, Dawson. I’m damaged. A ticking time bomb. I’m not the same person I was back then…”
My heart beat a loud confession in my chest, echoing out so strong I was sure he could hear it.
“It doesn’t matter who you came back as. I only needed you to come back to me. I will love each and every version of you I can get, for as many lifetimes as I can get.”
He inhaled sharply, searching my face for any hint of uncertainty. He wouldn’t find any. I knew what I wanted, fears be damned.
“I need you back, Theo,” I whispered, hovering right above his parted lips. “I’m willing to try, no matter what.”
“What changed your mind?”
“Some good advice,” I murmured. “We’ve both been cowards and it’s already cost us so much time. I don’t want to let fear take anything else away from us.”
“Are you sure?”
I nodded slowly, skimming my nose lightly over his and his lids fluttered shut at the touch. His fingertips dug into my hips, shaking hard enough to vibrate into my skin. The air shifted, charged particles sparking and zapping between us, drawing us together.
“Please…”
His tremulous plea wrapped around me, my restraint hanging by a thread. “Please what?”
Theo whined low in his throat, chasing my mouth as I continued to tease my lips against his, never quite touching.
“Kiss me. Remind me who I belong to.”
My lips slammed down on his, devouring his needy groan that shot straight to my dick.
I swept my tongue inside and the first taste of him made me ravenous for more.
I rose up on my knees, tilting his head back and taking complete control.
This hadn’t been our usual dynamic. I loved being at his mercy, but now he was at mine, mewling and clawing at my back as we ravaged each other.
“You belong to me, baby,” I growled into the kiss, grinding down on his erection. He moaned long and rough, thrusting up against my ass, desperate for friction. “Say it. Say you’re mine.”
“I’m yours. Fffuck, only yours…”
I tugged his hair hard enough to tilt his head back, staring into his eyes, his pupils nearly eclipsing the blue. I was shaking with a need that only he could satisfy. I needed something more. I needed to hear him say it.
“Tell me I’m beautiful…”
His eyes widened a fraction, something fierce and reverent in his gaze. Something I had missed beyond all measure.
“You are so goddamn beautiful, Dawson. I can barely fucking breathe around you...”
I shivered at his hoarse, sweet voice, molten honey pouring in my ears. His praise lit me up inside like liquid fire running through my veins. I moved a little faster, heat blazing a trail up my spine as I rode him. We moved together seamlessly, a rhythm we knew by heart.
“I’m so close,” I gasped, rocking faster, harder, driving us past the point of no return.
“You gonna come for me, Mercury? Come on, baby. Show me how badly you want it and soak yourself with your cum like the perfect boy you are.”
The rough command pushed me over the edge, my release exploding out of me. Hot spurts flooded my boxers and I bit down on Theo’s shoulder to muffle my shout. He groaned loudly as he tensed underneath me.
“Oh, fuck fuck fuck…I’m coming.”
Theo tossed his head back, his body convulsing from the strength of his orgasm. I drank in the sight, memories swirling. Theo was breathtaking when he came apart for me.
He panted heavily, holding me close as we came down from our mutual highs. His lips brushed my sweaty temple in a sweet kiss and the gesture crumbled the last brick of the wall between us.
“Don’t hurt me, Theo,” I begged in a wrecked whisper. “Don’t break me again.”
“Never,” he swore fervently. “I swear to you, I will never break us again. I’m all in. This time, we’ll be stronger together, Mercury. We’ll be fucking bulletproof.”