Chapter 21
Dawson
My feet tore up the ground as I sprinted down the field, blood pumping as I crossed into the end zone. I dropped the ball and leaned on my knees, breathing heavily from the exertion of the play and the heat of the afternoon sun.
Coach Walker clapped his hands, voice booming from the sidelines. “Excellent! That’s how you do it! Great work, gentlemen. Hit the showers and get out of here. Have a good first day of classes tomorrow, but do not be late to practice. Be on the field at six sharp, ready to go.”
I jogged over to the benches for my water bottle, chugging half of it in one go. A heavy hand clapped me on the shoulder, nearly knocking me over.
“Whoo! That was a fucking good scrimmage, yeah?” DeJuan, one of our wide receivers, beamed at me. “Fuck, if we keep playing like that, we’re going all the way this year, baby!”
“You fucking know it,” I laughed, his exuberance contagious.
He congratulated me again as he made his way indoors, and I couldn’t help but feel like a fraud.
The game meant everything to some of these guys, and here I was, ready and willing to throw in the towel.
Yeah, the championship would be awesome, but part of me didn’t even give a shit and would quit right now if I could.
The team would probably be pissed if they knew. Who wanted to follow a captain that wouldn’t even care if the ship went down? I ambled towards the locker room, lost in thought, when a loud voice pierced through my distracted haze.
“Looking good, Mercury!”
I whipped around and saw Theo leaning against the outer wall of the practice facility, a playful smirk aimed my way.
My heart sped up at the sight of him with the sleeves rolled up on his t-shirt and faded jeans hugging his thighs.
He tossed back his floppy blond locks and the world tilted slightly under my feet.
“What are you doing here?” I asked breathlessly, my feet carrying me over to him instinctively.
He shrugged, lips sliding into an easy grin. “I know we planned to meet up tomorrow after classes, but I got in early and thought I’d catch you after practice, see if you wanted to grab lunch.”
I slammed into him, wrapping myself around him tightly. He tensed in surprise before his arms banded around my waist, squeezing me to him. I buried my nose in his neck and inhaled his cedar and citrus scent that did dangerous things to my cock.
“Well damn, what did I do to deserve this?” Theo chuckled softly.
I pulled back, slightly embarrassed that I’d thrown myself at him. Only a few weeks without him had left me unsettled and antsy, like I was terrified he’d disappear again. We texted every day, but it wasn’t the same as inhabiting the same space, breathing the same air.
“Just missed you, I guess. Sorry, I probably smell disgusting,” I grimaced, suddenly hyper aware of my shirt sticking to my sweaty, cooling skin.
“Nah. I always found it sexy, remember?”
My face heated at the burning gaze he swept over my body. A shiver rippled through me and the pressure in my athletic cup was hella uncomfortable now.
“R-right,” I swallowed roughly. “Well, I’m gonna go shower real fast. Are you good to wait for me?”
“As long as it takes,” he rumbled, an intense gleam in his eye. His double meaning wasn’t lost on me and I fought against the grin trying to overtake my face as I darted inside.
I rushed through my shower comically fast. I couldn’t seem to wipe the smile off my face knowing Theo was outside waiting for me, that he’d come to surprise me.
It brought back memories of happier times, of him waiting outside my classes or by my truck after practices in high school.
Maybe we could be happy like that again.
I gathered my things and got dressed, mostly tuning out the dying buzz of the locker room as the guys started filtering out. I wanted to race out the door, but was thwarted as I crossed in front of Coach’s open office.
“Hayes, come here for a second.”
I bit back the annoyed grunt as I stepped into the room, and Coach motioned me forward. His dark eyes settled on me and I struggled not to squirm under his appraising look.
“How are you feeling about this season?”
“Good, sir.”
Coach let out a low, vibrating laugh. “A man of few words, just like your grandpa. You remind me of him. Quiet, determined, a strong leader. I learned a hell of a lot playing under him back in the day. It makes me proud to watch you follow in his and your dad’s footsteps.”
There was a sharp pang in my chest at his comparison. Growing up, those words would have meant the world to me, but now? They were a cruel taunt that I was only going to let them down, disappoint them and the legacy they left for me.
“You’ve been looking good out there, Hayes. It’s exactly what I want to see from you this year. You keep this up and you’ll have NFL scouts from here to Washington after you. I guaran-damn-tee it.”
Something sour coiled in my gut at his praise, but I forced a smile. “Thank you, Coach.”
I bolted out of his office. I wanted to tell him that I had no plans to enter the draft, that hanging any NFL hopes on me was pointless. I didn’t think I could put it off for the rest of the season, but here we were, three weeks into practice and I’d pussied out every time.
All I wanted was to get to Theo. Since talking with Micah, it was like my need for Theo had been unleashed. I craved his scent, itched to feel his skin on mine, wanted to wrap myself in his warmth like I used to after a bad day.
I lengthened my strides and barreled out the doors, Theo’s head swinging my direction. He broke out in a wide grin and my heart punched out a faulty rhythm at the sight.
“About damn time. I was beginning to think you’d stood me up. So am I worthy enough to score a lunch date with the hot quarterback?”
His teasing smirk set off a cascade of sparks throughout my body. An ache settled low in my stomach, a deep hunger that had nothing to do with food.
“Depends. Can we hang out at your place and order in?”
He waggled his eyebrows ridiculously and a smile stretched my lips.
“That’s why God invented DoorDash. Your wish is my command.”
I wasn’t claustrophobic by any means, but I had never struggled with enclosed spaces more in my life than I had in the last fifteen minutes.
The car ride to Theo’s apartment was torturous with his tempting smell permeating every molecule of air around us until I was damn near dizzy with it.
I had to twist my fingers together at one point just so I wouldn’t lunge at him across the console.
Then the elevator. Holy Dante’s inferno, the elevator.
Theo was so close, his body heat stoked a flame in my lower belly that was getting impossible to ignore and his scent was amplified in the tiny box.
The surrounding mirrors made it almost impossible to hide my roving gaze, but Theo seemed blissfully unaware of my suffering.
Unaware and unaffected. With his hands in his pockets and head nodding along to the elevator music, he was the picture of serenity.
I was clinging to my sanity by the time Theo opened his door and led us inside.
I trailed him to the kitchen as I took in the space.
It was a mirror image of Bash and Micah’s unit, but without their lived-in feel.
The apartment looked like a model, clean and cold.
Nothing like I imagined Theo’s place to be.
I hated it immediately. It wasn’t lost on me that my reaction had more to do with how I used to picture any place of Theo’s actually being ours.
“Alright, so what do you want to eat? There’s this great burger place down the street, or—oh!
We could do pizza, if you’re digging that.
I also wouldn’t say no to sushi, but you might not want raw fish after practicing in a hundred degree weather.
Feels like a misstep,” Theo snickered, tossing a glance over his shoulder. “Hey, you okay?”
“Yep, I’m good,” I choked out. “Uh, how ‘bout burgers?”
Theo cast me a suspicious glance, but thankfully dropped it long enough to order. We settled on the couch while we waited for the food, talking about the last few weeks we’d spent apart.
“How are you doing with the medication?” I asked warily. Theo’s brows pinched slightly and he pursed his lips in thought.
“It’s weird, but…okay, I think? It was hell on my body for the first couple of weeks, but I’ve actually smoothed out faster than the other times, which is good.”
I hesitated, not wanting to wreck a good evening so far, but I had to know. “And you haven’t had…umm, any bad thoughts, have you?”
“No, I haven’t,” he smiled softly. “I know it probably won’t always be like this, but I feel good right now. Really good. I don’t feel like I’m fighting through quicksand like before. I feel like myself again.”
“Really? You’re not just saying that?”
Theo gripped my hand resting between us, electric pulses zipping up my arm at the contact.
“I promise that if or when things change and I start feeling off again, I will tell you. I won’t hide that side of me from you ever again.”
His intense stare pierced through me, making my brain glitch as I got lost in his liquid blues. I was faintly aware that Theo was still holding my hand, his thumb smoothing over my pulse point that was beating erratically from his proximity.
Theo’s phone chimed with an alert, breaking whatever spell I was caught in. He stood and went to grab the food that’d been delivered. All I could do was sit there and convert oxygen into carbon dioxide, fighting to find even two functioning brain cells that would keep me from jumping his bones.
We queued up some action movie as we ate that I could barely focus on. Just like the weekend of our movie marathon, my attention caught on every tiny movement and sound that Theo made, but without the cover of a darkened room.