20. Gavin
TWENTY
GAVIN
“You doing all right? You were quiet today.” My dad lounged back in his recliner.
I was leaning back on the couch, head to the armrest, stretched out with the bottleneck of a beer in my hand, resting it on my stomach. “I’m good. Better than, actually.”
We pushed through the day, as difficult as it was, but it hadn’t all been bad.
Cameron and Ava were back in Denver at his place. He had an appointment with his doctor in the morning, and he said that Ava had seemed better once they were safely encased behind his alarm system. I hated that she needed it to feel safe but glad she was smiling a little.
Everyone else in my family had gone to their own homes or to bed, so it was just my dad and me, him staying up probably until I finished my drink.
“That something good has anything to do with a certain teacher Josie keeps mentioning?”
“Yeah… I think, I think we’re gonna see what happens.”
“Yeah?” My dad wasn’t a man of words, but his expression said it all. He was cautiously optimistic.
Me too.
“Yeah. We talked a little last night when I headed back home.”
“Good. That’s good. You deserve good things, too.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
“So why didn’t you bring her here? We wouldn’t have minded.”
“Didn’t think today was the day.” As soon as I said it, the light in his eyes dimmed. “Another time, and besides, her sister told me a secret today.”
“Already meeting the family?”
“No, old man. Her sister is here, on break from college. It’s Penny’s birthday in a couple weeks. Thought I’d talk Mom into throwing her a surprise bash, out here. Maybe mixing it up with Josie’s or something.”
“Not like your mom to turn down a party planning opportunity. Be fun. And like I said, you deserve to find some goodness.”
I threw my feet to the floor. Mom was in bed, Josie asleep. Tomorrow, I’d take us back home and get us back on a regular schedule, but I was giving Josie one more night to enjoy the Thanksgiving break fun at Grandma and Grandpa’s house, and I was giving myself a night of space so I didn’t intrude on Maize and Penny’s few nights they had together.
“I’m going to head upstairs.”
I might not want to intrude on them, but I did want to hear her voice. Make sure we were still on the same page. Make sure she was still willing to see me. I’d have to juggle her and Josie, but I’d make it work. Somehow, someway, I wouldn’t screw this up.
It was closing in on midnight, and there was the fact she might have been sleeping, but once I brushed my teeth and changed out of the dress pants and shirt I’d worn all day, I tugged on a pair of flannel pajama pants and slipped into bed.
You awake?
It took only seconds for her text to appear.
Yeah. Can I call you in five?
Not quite the response I was hoping for.
I can wait. Sounds good.
Less than five minutes later, my phone rang. I answered it right after it started buzzing.
“Hey.”
“Sorry,” Penny rasped. She sounded breathless, tired, but also happy. “Faye and Dolly and Lydia came over tonight. They were just leaving when you texted.”
“They were there?”
“Yeah. Faye texted and needed to escape Max, I guess. She brought friends with her.”
“That’s good. Good for all of them.” Definitely for Lydia. “Why did Faye need to get away from Max?”
Last I heard, they were divorced. He didn’t want it, but it’d been his screw-up in the first place. The guy was an idiot. He regretted what he’d done one hundred percent.
“Oh, because he showed up the night everything happened last week and he’s refusing to leave. Says it’s not safe for Faye to be alone. She’s apparently kicked him in the shins and told him if he didn’t want her to be alone, he shouldn’t have made it happen.”
I laughed. “Sounds like Max and Faye. So he’s moved back home and is refusing to move out. Does she want him to?”
“I think so? She told us these stories tonight of their fights and she sounded mad, but she also looked kind of like she was enjoying, so it didn’t make sense.”
“They’ve always been fiery. Can’t say I blame her for kicking him out or leaving, but we’ve shared a drink or two since. He regrets it. Would work his ass off to get his family back, so I can’t lie and say I’m not rooting for him.”
“Yeah…” Her voice softened. “We probably shouldn’t be talking about them, though. That’s their business.”
Oh, she had so much to learn about life in New Haven.
“And this is life in a small town. We either enjoy someone else’s drama, or we’re probably involved in our own that everyone is talking about.”
“Speaking of, Maize told the girls tonight about us kissing on my porch. Just so you know.”
She sounded worried. Someday, I’d make certain she never had to wonder about how I felt, never have to be worried around me again. It might take a hot minute considering my behavior the last few weeks, but Bryce was right. I was a determined man.
“If you think that’s going to scare me, Penny, it won’t. You don’t think I didn’t take town gossip into consideration when I showed up at your place?”
“Well, no.” There was a soft laugh. “It didn’t seem like you’d considered much, actually.”
“Fair point.” I laughed. “But I think it turned out all right for me. How was the rest of your day?”
There was a sigh, and then, “Maize told me she talked to you this morning.”
“It wasn’t bad, Penny. Frankly, I’m glad you have her in your life in that way.”
“Yeah, but?—”
“No buts. I admire her for what she did, and you, for all you’ve done for her. She said you give too much to people and wanted to make sure I wasn’t just taking from you. That I was giving, too.”
She went quiet, so quiet I checked my phone to make sure the call was still live, and then finally said, “That idiot. That explains so much.”
I waited for her to explain. Her business with her sister wasn’t mine, not yet. But then she followed it up with, “She gave me a check today. A large check, paying me back for helping her with school.”
“Well, damn, that was nice of her.”
“Yeah, but she prefaced it with saying she’d taken from me long enough and wasn’t going to do it anymore. But it never felt like that to me.”
I readjusted in the bed, pulled my knees up and planted my feet on the mattress until I was sitting with my back to my headboard. “Sounds to me like she’s thankful for the job you’ve done raising her, Penny. You should be proud of that.”
“I am,” she sniffed. “It’s stupid because it makes me sad. Like she doesn’t need me anymore.”
“I rue the day, despise thinking of the day Josie becomes independent, and I know Maize isn’t your daughter, but she also is, you know? You raised her, Penny. And now she’s grown.”
“Yeah, it’s the growing up part I’m having a hard time dealing with.” Her words wobbled as she laughed, and it was clear she was fighting back tears.
I ran a hand through my hair. “I have to say, all of this is only making me like you more, you know. You’re an impressive woman, Penny. And I’m glad you’re giving me this chance.”
“Thanks, Gavin. That means a lot.”
We kept talking, about my family’s day, about school and the kids. We laughed through some of it and were serious through others, and by the time she was yawning and telling me she had to go, I’d not only learned a lot about Penny, but I’d also learned a lot about myself.
Bryce was right.
Once I decided to make a move, I wouldn’t do it slowly.
Because I might have just been getting to know Penelope Pesco, but there was no doubt I wanted her to be mine.
She’s asleep.
You’re sure?
Certain. Get over here.
It was Sunday night. Maize had headed back to school. Josie was asleep in her bed. We’d gone over to Penny’s house that afternoon for lunch and so Josie could meet Penny’s sister. It’d been an afternoon filled with laughter and games and Maize teaching Josie all sorts of dances she’d learned from social media apps on her phone.
It’d been an afternoon where I’d had to keep my hands to myself, to not show my feelings for Penny in front of Josie too soon. The temptation was strong, so damn strong, I almost failed, but when we said goodbye to them, I stayed back while Josie skipped down the porch and grabbed Penny’s hand.
“Come over tonight when she’s asleep.”
It hadn’t been a question, more of a demanded need.
Based on the look in Penny’s eyes, she was feeling the same. I hadn’t seen her in person since Wednesday night, but we’d talked every night, sometimes during the day when Josie was occupied.
Tomorrow, everyone went back to school and work, and life would be busy as it always was. Tonight, I was taking what I wanted… whatever Penny would willingly give.
I stepped out onto the porch and waited for her. Like the other night, she was dressed in pajama pants, with her boots and coat wrapped around her. She jogged down the street to me, her smile wide and bright like always as she saw me on the porch.
“You don’t always have to wait out here for me, you know.”
“I like taking every second I can to see you.”
Her cheeks turned pink with surprise, and hopefully, approval. “Well then. Freeze yourself out on the porch if you’d like.”
If only she knew. Waiting to see her turned my blood to boiling hot.
I opened the door and let her go in, then did a quick check to make sure all was quiet on the street before following her in and waited for her boots to hit the floor, her coat next. She shook out her thick, blond hair and was standing almost against the wall when I closed the door and locked it.
“Hi,” she said softly, tilting her to chin to look up at me.
“Hey back.” I stepped forward, settled a hand on the wall next to her head, and cupped her other cheek. She shivered at that touch, and my heart raced.
She licked her lips. “Are you going to kiss me yet or just keep staring at me?”
“I don’t think I could ever get tired of staring at you,” I murmured, but I was already leaning in. She reached for my hips and tugged me forward until my body was pressed against hers and then our lips were melting togethering.
Sweet, sweet relief coursed through me at the first brush of her lips against mine. Days of pent-up desire for her dissipating as I kissed her, opened her mouth, and dove inside. There was no warm-up, no sweet and slow before my body was pressed to hers. She was barricaded between my body and the wall and beautiful, sexy, little whimpers escaped her throat.
“God, I wanted this,” I muttered against her mouth. “Every day I’ve thought of this and how you taste and feel.”
She hummed a needy sound in response and gripped me tighter. Her hands shoved beneath my T-shirt, and yes . Those nails of hers softly scratched my lower back up and down.
I kept my hands planted where they were, one on the wall, one at her cheek, despite my fervent desire to put them all over her body. Slow.
I had to go slow. For her sake. For mine. But damn, as she rocked her body against mine and hummed into my mouth, scraped those nails down the length of my back, going slow became a torturous game of self-control.
“Couch,” I finally said and tore my mouth off hers to kiss her jaw. Her throat.
Her hands curled into my shirt and she angled her head, giving me better access.
I was hard and obvious against her. There was no hiding it today and as she rolled her hips again, a soft “ohhh” fell from her lips.
“Come on.” I dropped my hand from her jaw and took her hand in mine. I walked backward, guiding us to the couch and my living room. I sat down on the couch and brought her down with me.
Her legs straddled mine and she sat, facing me, nibbling that lower lip of hers in a nervous gesture. I reached out and tugged her abused lip from her teeth. “Don’t be nervous.”
“I don’t know what I’m doing.”
I grinned up at her, resting my head against the back of my couch. “Does it feel like I haven’t liked anything we’ve done yet?” In the scheme of things, it’d been nothing, really. A few kisses and innocent touches. The thoughts I had for her were anything but.
“You know what I mean.” She slapped my chest playfully. I reached up and held her hand there, where it stayed on my chest, over my heart.
“Do you feel that? My heart is racing. Trust me, Penny, you’re doing just fine.”
She gazed down at her hand, mine covering hers, and then looked up at me from beneath her lashes. “I want to do more than just kiss, though.”
“I want that too.” I pushed up so I was sitting. She was still on my lap, but there was a slight distance between us. Her knees were shoved into the back of my couch and I took her hand on my chest and dropped it to our laps. “Trust me, I definitely want more of that, Penny. But I want more than that, too. I don’t want this to ever become something you feel like we’re sneaking around and hiding, making out in secret.”
“I don’t. I trust you to guide this so it’s good for you and her.”
“And you,” I stated, and she blinked in surprise. “You don’t think I considered you and what you need or want?”
Of course she hadn’t. When had anyone in Penny’s life ever put her first, except for Maize recently?
I sighed and brushed my free hand over her cheek, pushing it back into her hair and cupping the back of her neck. Her hair was thicker, silkier than I’d imagined. Better. “I want to take you out to dinner, and I want to have time with you and Josie. I also want to do this right and take it slow, make sure we’re all on the same page. But what I never want you to feel like is that you’re sneaking over for a make-out session with a guy who will never give you all the things you deserve.”
I wouldn’t be a taker. But I wasn’t sure Penny knew anything different to giving everything of herself, even to her own detriment.
“I don’t think that,” she said. “Like I said, I trust you.”
“Okay, but if that changes, let me know. If this moves too fast or too slow or whatever, promise me you’ll communicate that with me. I’ve gone so long only thinking of Josie, it could take me time, too. I might screw this up.”
She chuckled and brought our entwined hands to her mouth. She kissed my knuckle and smirked. “You’re human, and you’re a guy, Gavin. You’re bound to screw up.”
“Ahhh, a little bit of sexism thrown in for good measure. I like it.”
Her answering smile was devastatingly gorgeous. “I like you.”
“Good.” I tugged her against me and kissed her.
There was no build-up this time. I yanked her against me. Her breasts pressed to me, and I hardened as her body melded to mine. I devoured her with my mouth, swallowing down her moans of pleasure. My hands went to her hair, where I gripped the back of her head, fisting her hair in mine.
Soon, all too soon, her body rocked against mine. I forced my hips to stay still, not to rush, but as her hands explored my body, my arms, my shoulders, a frustrated sound tore from her.
“Can you... will you take your shirt off?” she asked.
Absolutely yes, I would. On instinct, I glanced toward the hall to check for Josie and Penny’s expression turned worried.
“Sorry, I shouldn’t have. Forget?—”
“Don’t be sorry.” I kissed her and dropped my hands from her hair. I tore off my shirt and set it down next to me, just in case, and then reveled in the way her gaze explored my body.
I was cut and toned, not because I worked out but because my lifestyle and job demanded it. The ranch and construction required I be in good shape and provided the exercise to stay that way.
I took one of her hands in mine and settled it high on my chest. “Touch me wherever you want, Penny. Whenever you’d like.”
A soft huff of pleasure escaped her, and I gazed up at her as her eyes widened with nerves and surprise. Her hand brushed over my chest, down the cut of my abs, and back up again. My body begged for more, and I bit down so I didn’t bark out commands, tell her what to do.
If her only experiences were fumbling around in dark rooms or back seats of cars like she’d implied, I wanted her to have this. A moment to take just for her own desire.
My entire body buzzed as she kept exploring, featherlight touches down my stomach and arms, and then a fingernail scraped over my chest.
I hissed with pleasure, my hips jolting before I could stop it.
Penny yanked her hand back. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be.” I fought against laughing. All this meant she didn’t know how good it felt, and I cursed the boys who’d fumbled along with her, probably only taking more of her without thought to giving. I set my hand at her lap and pushed my fingers up beneath her shirt. As soon as my fingers brushed against her soft skin at her hip, her lips parted with surprise.
“Can I show you? How good that feels?”
She nodded, rapt with attention, eyes flaring with excitement. I gently brushed my hands up her side, down her stomach. I copied her movements like she’d done to me, and her eyelids fell. She licked her lips as her body slowly rolled against me. My gaze stayed glued to hers. No way was I missing this moment as I brushed my fingers over her bra.
It was soft, simple, and probably a beige cotton, but no less sexy as her eyes rounded and she gaped at me. Lightly, I brushed my thumb over her hardened bud. Her body arched, jolted, and she set a hand on my bare shoulder to steady herself.
“Sorry...”
“Don’t. Enjoy this, Penny.” I brushed her nipple again, and a soft moan fell from her lips. I leaned up and kissed her. “Feels good, doesn’t it?”
“Yes. So good.” She kissed me back, and I played with her, kept my hands outside her bra, and gripped her hip with one hand. Together, she rocked against my hard length, and I guided her, pinching her nipple every so often to experience that surprised jolt her body made every time.
Soon, her body was trembling, thighs shaking outside of mine. “You can let go,” I whispered and kissed down her neck. “It’s okay to let go, Penny.”
I pressed my mouth to hers and dove my tongue inside.
She lost all reserve and gripped my shoulders, rocking against me harder. Faster.
Soon, her entire body trembled, and I moved my hand at her hip to her lower back. I squeezed her breast, pinched her nipple, and swallowed down her cries as her body shook against mine.
And then she broke. Beautifully. She cried out with surprise and maybe wonder, and her nails dug into my shoulders. I pressed her chest to mine, pushing up against her to continue her climax for as long as she needed. We moved together. My body was hard and demanding its release, but I fought against it, pushed it down to focus solely on her.
Penny’s pleasure was something to behold, and I was honored she’d given it to me.
As her body calmed, her fingers loosened. She lifted her head, lips wet with my kiss and a beautiful deep pink stain on her cheeks.
“I’ve never done that,” she admitted. “With a guy, I mean. That was…”
“It was perfect.” I slipped my hand out of her shirt and brushed my hands up and down her back. “It was perfect. Thank you for trusting me with that.”
She blinked, clearing away the hazy expression in her eyes, and looked down.
My own need was hard and thick and obvious between us. “What about?—”
“I’ll take care of me.”
“But—” Her brows tugged in, creating two creases above her nose.
“There will be nights you only give, and there will be nights we both give and take, but tonight, that was for you, Penny. I want to give that to you without expecting anything in return.”
“What if I want to? Help you, finish, I mean.”
She was so damn cute. Feisty and honest, but there was this vulnerable side to her, like now. Like she couldn’t fathom someone only focused on her. I gritted my teeth against how angry that made me, that she’d grown up that way.
“And you will, and can, another night.”
She peered at me and nodded. “Okay.” She glanced up and scanned the room. “So what do we do now then?”
“I use the bathroom,” I told her, and she blinked. “Take care of this.” I pushed against her, and she laughed with surprise but started climbing off me. Once she was standing, I stood next to her and kissed her softly. “And then we have dessert. Josie and my mom spent the day baking, and I brought home extras.”
“Okay, then. Dessert. Although, didn’t I already have mine?”
I laughed against her mouth. “That was the appetizer, Miss Pesco. The dessert will be far better.”
I stepped away, left her gaping at me with surprise and excitement swirling in her beautiful blues, and went to the bathroom.
I took care of myself, washed my hands, and by the time I returned to the kitchen, Penny was sitting at the island, a glass of water in front of her and plates of cookies and brownies uncovered.
“I helped myself,” she said and bit into a white chocolate brownie with frosting covering it. “Hope you don’t mind.”
“Not at all.”
When it came to Penny, in my home, she was welcome to do whatever she liked.
For as long as she pleased.