21. Penny
TWENTY-ONE
PENNY
I did that. I did that with a man. And it felt so much better than it ever did when I tried to take care of myself. Lasted longer too, but it was the way my entire body seemed to light up from the inside out as I succumbed to it. Gavin’s words, “let go, it’s okay to let go,” bounced around my brain for the rest of Sunday night. They still echoed the next morning as I got myself ready for work, and I swore, my legs were still a little bit shaky and my stomach muscles were sore as if I’d done a fantastic ab workout.
I hadn’t.
It’d been Gavin. All him. Well, his fingers at my breasts helped, too.
As I thought it, they hardened beneath my bra and my cheeks flushed. I glanced down, grateful I was wearing a heavy sweater. The kids didn’t need to see that so early in the morning. Or ever.
“Hey you!”
I jumped as Faye strolled into my classroom.
She blinked at me. “What’s wrong? You have this weird look on your face.”
“No, I don’t.” I shook my head, trying to clear the images of last night’s reminder from my brain, but it was hopeless. My chest started heating and Faye broke out into a large, knowing grin.
“Oh, we are chatting this morning, young lady.” She closed my classroom door and hopped up onto one of my kids’ desks, right across from me.
She twirled her finger in the air, gesturing to my face. I reached up and patted my cheeks.
“Oh… tell me.” She leaned forward. “You have to tell me what happened last night because you, girl, look like you’ve had the most incredible dream, but it was real, and I’m guessing, ultra satisfying.”
“That’s not a thing,” I drawled.
“Psssh. Says you. Spill.”
I stacked papers that were perfectly stacked to begin with and set them back down. “I’m not telling you anything, about dreams or reality. Ever.”
“Ugh.” She groaned playfully and swung her feet in the air. “You’re no fun. Where’s Maize? She’d tell me all the good gossip.”
To say that Dolly and Faye had fallen in love with my sister was an understatement. She slid right into friendship with them like she’d known them for decades and not minutes. Granted, Faye and Dolly were so welcoming I wasn’t sure how anyone couldn’t be friends with them.
“I went over to Gavin’s last night but only for a little while. Happy now?”
She squinted at me. “Not even close. But I’m going to assume he used that time to his advantage, so it’s okay. I can use my own imagination.”
She wiggled her brows, and I chucked a pencil at her. Whatever she could imagine was most likely, far more imaginative than what had occurred, but whatever.
What we’d done was more than enough. More than I’d ever enjoyed with a man before.
“Did you come in here to tease me or talk to me?”
“I came in here to vent because Max went to work today and told me he’d see us tonight.”
Hmmm. “And?”
“And he needs to go to his own home.” She pouted, but there wasn’t anger there. As I looked at her, truly examined her, I didn’t see anger. I saw fear.
That, I understood well.
“Isn’t this his week with the kids?”
“Yes. Which means he should be taking them to school and getting them from after-school care, and then going home, but instead, he walked out the door and said he’d bring dinner home with him and he’d see me later.”
I wanted to kick Max in the shins for putting that uncertain expression on my friend’s face. Unlike Gavin, I didn’t know exactly how far Max had gone with that girl in Vegas, and any cheating was inexcusable, so I understood where Faye was coming from.
Since I didn’t know him, I was team Faye all the way. But if Faye started considering giving him another chance, I’d support her in that, too.
“How are the kids handling this? Is it confusing them?”
“I made sure they understood Dad was only staying with us for Thanksgiving. We’d agreed to coparent together for the holidays anyway, so that wasn’t a stretch, but now I’m worried how they’ll handle tonight. It’s the holiday season , but that doesn’t mean Max needs to stay for all of it.”
“Maybe you should talk to him about that. If he sees it’s hard on the kids, would he step back?”
“I don’t know anything right now, except I like him there. He’s sleeping on the couch, and I desperately want him in my bed again, and that isn’t helping anything. But I don’t trust him, and he ruined that, so I don’t know…”
I pushed off my chair and went to her and gave her a hug. “I’m sorry. I know it’s been hard.”
“And it’s been the easiest thing ever, which is what makes it so damn hard.” Faye dropped her head to my shoulder and sighed. “It’s stupid and this sucks and he’s an idiot.”
“He is.”
“He’s also Max. My Max. And I hate him for that, too.”
I held her while she got it all out, and when she pulled back and wiped tears from beneath her eyes, I gave her a tissue.
“Thanks. Boys are dumb.”
“They are.”
She winked. “Gavin’s not.”
I shot her a look. “Do I need to go back and remind you what he was like the first couple of weeks we met?”
“Nope.” She shook her head. “And that’s enough for me. You’re figuring out your boy issues, and hopefully, I’ll figure out mine.”
“I’m always here if you need to vent. Or cry.”
“I know. I got that vibe from you the first day we met. That’s why I like you.”
She blew me a kiss and headed toward my door. “Be ready for this week. The kids are more feral than normal after a holiday weekend.”
“I’m on it. Caffeinated and prepared and well-slept.”
If I could stop thinking about Gavin and those kisses and that hard length between us last night, I’d be ready to go.
My phone bounced and vibrated across my kitchen island, and I grabbed it before it could dance right off the edge.
A smile broke out as I saw Gavin’s name.
Josie wants Millie’s tonight for dinner. Want to be ambushed again?
I glanced at the leftover chicken I’d just taken out of the fridge to reheat. There wasn’t much left and I had to finish it or throw it out, but the thought of eating it again made me want to puke.
A girl could only eat so much roasted chicken. Besides, a night out with Gavin and Josie was perfect. And sneaky. A tiny shiver of excitement slid through me and when I picked up my phone to text him back. A wonky smile was reflected on the screen.
Maybe Faye was right yesterday. Maybe I did have a funny look on my face.
No regrets, though.
I’ll be there in twenty.
We’ll be there in twenty-three.
I snorted. Impatient, apparently, was Gavin, and I wasn’t regretting that either. I hadn’t seen him in two days, and I wasn’t expecting for him to try to maneuver a night with him and Josie again so quickly. Sunday’s excuse had been for Josie to meet my sister.
Today it was Millie’s Diner.
At the rate Gavin was going, the entire town would suspect something by Friday. And yet, I wasn’t sure I could regret that either.
Look at me. Living for me and no one else just like Maize wanted.
I sent her a quick text while I was thinking about her.
Headed to dinner with Gavin and Josie tonight.
She texted me when she got back to her dorm late last night, but I hadn’t heard from her today.
Maize
Go get your man, sis. Make good choices.
A snicker fell from my mouth and I rolled my eyes.
Always do.
You should probably do something different.
Her text was followed by two winking faces.
I should have known that was coming.
Since I changed into sweats as soon as I walked in the door after school, I headed to my room and slipped into a pair of loose-fitting, boyfriend cut jeans and a cropped beige sweater with a mock neck collar. It was knitted, soft, and while it was more casual than what I’d wear to school to teach, it was dressier than Gavin had seen me in the last week.
He might not mind my flannel pants and worn tees, but tonight, I wanted to make a passing effort.
Nineteen minutes later, I was walking into Millie’s. The same hostess or server who sat me last time was at the entrance stand.
“Hi, Miss Pesco. Welcome back.”
Man, it’d take a minute to get used to everyone knowing who I was. I checked her nametag. “Thanks, Eloise. Any chance I can have a booth again?”
“Of course,” she chirped and grabbed a menu. “Right this way.”
She took me to the same booth I sat in last time, but this time, I didn’t take the seat facing away from the diner for privacy and quiet. I sat on the other side, giving me a view of the front door so I could see when Josie and Gavin arrived.
It’d be a bummer for her to miss me and throw off Gavin’s diabolically sneaky plan.
As soon as Eloise went over the specials and said she’d be back with a water for me, I scanned the diner. It was relatively empty, not surprising given it was the first day back to work after a holiday, but there were enough customers, a parent with a student in Faye’s class I recognized and gave a wave to when our eyes met.
“Fancy running into you here.”
A deep voice came from next to me, and I glanced up. It took me a second to place the face, the deep tenor in his tone, and when I finally did, a friendly smile broke out. “Hi, Ryken. How was your Thanksgiving?”
“Quiet. How’s the car?”
“It’s good. Thanks again for getting it done so quickly. And the cleaning.” My eyes narrowed as I said it.
He chuckled. “Friends get the free car wash discount.”
We weren’t friends. We didn’t even have a professional dealing considering Gavin had covered my cost.
“Miss Pesco!” Josie’s cry bounced around the whole diner, snagging everyone’s attention, including Ryken’s. “You’re here!”
Ryken smiled at Josie as she bounced straight toward my table. “Hello there, Miss Josie.”
“Hi, Mr. Ry. How are you?”
“Good, good. Are you joining Miss Pesco for dinner?”
His lips twisted into a smirk, and I caught the reason for it as Gavin trailed slowly behind Josie, but he wasn’t showing irritation at me this time.
Nope. That look stamped all over his face, hardening his features, was solely directed at Ryken.
“Gavin,” he said. “Surprised you’re out tonight.”
“Didn’t feel like getting back to cooking.” He glanced between the two of us, while Josie had already slid into the booth, making herself at home like this was to be expected.
Something Ryken found funny based on the noise he made.
“Do you need something?” Gavin asked, and I swear he choked the words out.
“Saw Penny sitting here alone. Was thinking of asking if I could join her, but it looks like she’s taken.”
Oh… well, this was awkward.
“You can sit with us,” Josie cried.
“Josie,” Gavin said. The irritation was still in his eyes but dimmed when he glanced at me. “We haven’t even asked Miss Pesco if we can join her.”
“She doesn’t mind.” Josie bounced on her seat.
So glad I could be a part of this conversation. I covered my mouth with a laugh.
“And besides,” Josie sang, so happy, so beautifully unaware I wanted to squeeze her, “Grandma Kelley always says the more the merrier, right?”
If Gavin could have slapped his hand over his daughter’s mouth, I had no doubt he would.
“I think that’s up to Miss Pesco since we’ve invaded her dinner.”
“It’s okay,” Ryken said and stepped back. There was humor in his eyes, but maybe a twinge of jealousy, too.
I shrank back in the booth, the awkwardness increasing. I’d wanted a dinner with Josie and Gavin, not a night of men trying to fight over me and based on the looks Ryken and Gavin were giving each other, that’s exactly what they were silently doing.
“I can see what’s happening here,” Ryken said. “Enjoy your dinner.”
He turned, went back to the stool he’d clearly been sitting at because there was a filled drink, and a cell phone he picked up and focused on.
“Mind if we join you?” Gavin asked.
“I think if you don’t sit, the entire town is going to show up to witness a brawl, so yes, please.”
I waved him in and hid behind my menu.
“What’s a brawl?” Josie asked.
“A fight, munchkin.”
“Who’s fighting and why?”
Gavin chortled.
I dipped my head behind my menu to hide my own laugh.
This night. It grew more entertaining by the moment.
“No one, kiddo. How about you decide what you want to drink before Eloise gets here.”
“All right, Dad. Miss Pesco, do you have any pencils or pens again?”
Of course I did. I dug into my purse and handed them to her.
“Thanks.”
Indeed, Eloise came, with two extra menus and a sly smile as she set them down. Came back and took our orders, the meatloaf dinner for Gavin with nary a green vegetable requested, chicken tenders and apples for Josie. I ordered a southwestern steak salad for myself with a side of onion rings, and once Eloise was gone, Gavin leaned back in the booth and draped his arm over the top.
His hand fell, and he played with Josie’s hair like it was instinct, and I supposed it was, but the move was so beautifully charming, my heart skipped a step.
He might have been rude to me at first, but he was a good man and an even better dad.
“Did Maize get back to school okay?”
“She did. Texted me when she got there and everything.”
“I liked her,” Josie said, scribbling away at a picture on the placemat. “She’s pretty like you, but you have prettier hair.”
“Thanks, Josie. That’s sweet of you.”
She shrugged, face still downturned to the placemat, but she didn’t see my smile.
And when I looked at Gavin, she definitely didn’t see the heated look on his. “She’s right,” he mouthed to me.
I rolled my eyes and gulped from my ice water. Either the heater had kicked on in the restaurant, or my internal thermostat was rising, but I was suddenly roasting in my jeans and sweater.
Dinner came, we tucked in, and Josie filled most of the time like last time talking about her weekend at Grandma and Grandpa’s.
“You should come ride a horse with me sometime,” she said. “It’d be fun. Oh! Maybe for my birthday! That’s coming up and I always have a party. You have to come to that, and if it’s not raining or snowing, I can teach you how to ride Pickles.”
“Breathe,” Gavin said and brushed his large hand over the back of her head. “That was a lot of words at one time.”
“I’m excited.” She grinned up at me. There was a dot of ketchup on her chin she hadn’t wiped away and breadcrumbs from the chicken at the edge of her mouth. She’d never looked more adorable. “Do you think you can come, then?”
I would love to ride a horse and celebrate Josie’s birthday with her.
I had a list of the kids’ birthdays at school but hadn’t spent time studying them or memorizing them to know. And today came so quickly I hadn’t updated our birthday wall for December.
“When’s your birthday? Remind me.”
“December twelfth. I remember because it’s twelve-twelve, right, Dad?”
She glanced at Gavin for approval. He was watching me, so I nudged his foot under the table and dipped my chin in her direction.
“Right.” He cleared his throat. “Twelve twelve is the best day in the world.”
“That’s only a few days after mine,” I told her. “Mine’s on Sunday.”
“Really?” She breathed in like she couldn’t believe it. “That’s amazing ! You definitely have to come learn how to ride Pickles with me. That will be my present to you.”
How could I resist?
“It’s a date,” I told her. “As long as it’s okay with your grandparents and dad, though.”
Gavin stole the breath from my lungs with a heated look. “It’s a date.”