Chapter 2 #2
I’d been so damn good that I was sure I’d make my parents proud and they’d want me back.
“Here,” Vaughn said, and then a bottle of water was being put into my hands.
The words, “fuck you” were on the tip of my tongue, but I bit down on the flesh rather than speak them.
I wasn’t someone who naturally swore, but even if I had been, it was against the rules.
There were some habits I’d eventually managed to break in the two years I’d lived with my brother and his fiancé, but so many things were so ingrained that they’d become my new normal.
I had no idea if I would have been someone who swore if I’d been allowed to be a regular kid, but it didn’t matter anyway.
I took the water and obediently drank a sip.
And gagged.
The water was fine, but my stomach was in such tight knots that the cold liquid made me feel all kinds of worse.
Who would have thought such a thing possible?
“Take a few bites of this,” Vaughn said as he handed me some kind of protein bar.
I wanted to say no, I really did. But he hadn’t been asking. He wasn’t the Vaughn who’d snuck butterscotch candies into my palm when no one was looking.
My body shivered as I remembered the little sparks I’d always feel when he touched me like that. I’d only ever felt those sparks around him.
I wasn’t sure what that meant.
But there were no sparks this time as I took the protein bar.
Thank God for small mercies.
Because being cold made it so much easier to deal with the bad stuff, and I always started with mentally reciting my most favorite flowers and their meanings.
It was the first step in escaping into that pretty little place in my head where no one could touch me.
Dante was there. The rest of my family too.
It’d been a particularly brisk day, but we’d decided to go to the beach anyway and everyone, even Dante and my father, had seemed to get along.
Dante and I had spent hours building the perfect sand castle and then had let our baby brother, Breno, destroy it.
In that place I was warm and safe and happy. But to be warm, I had to be cold first.
And I’d never felt that around Vaughn.
Not even on that day when I’d first seen him in Father’s office.
I’d tried to escape into my head long before I’d entered that study, but I hadn’t managed it in time and once I’d caught sight of the scary-looking dark-haired man sitting in the armchair, I’d been momentarily trapped in the present.
It wasn’t until Father had snapped his fingers at me that my brain had thankfully turned off.
The blackness had let me stay in its peaceful grip until one of Father’s men had taken me by the arm and led me back to my room.
I’d tasted Father on my tongue and usually when that happened, it meant I was spared from the rest of it.
Since Father never shared me with anyone, I hadn’t had to worry about Vaughn that particular day.
I hadn’t even been sure I’d see him again.
But he’d been there a few days later and when one of Father’s men had let his hand linger on my body just a little too long, Vaughn had slammed the man back against the wall and informed him in no uncertain terms what would happen if he ever touched me like that again.
I’d waited for him to add the caveat that I belonged to Father, but there’d been nothing else.
Just the singular threat to never touch me like that again.
And that was when it had happened.
That little something inside of me that kept me from seeking out the blackness whenever Vaughn was around.
Like if I did, I’d miss something important. I hadn’t known what exactly, but it hadn’t mattered. That seed had been planted. Then it had gotten worse.
Because I’d begun to look forward to seeing him – even if it was while I was being taken to see Father or any number of the men who came to admire Father’s well-behaved pet.
I’d still somehow managed to escape into that place in my head during the worst of times when Vaughn wasn’t around, but after a while he’d started showing up on the beach with me and my family.
Near the end just before Dante had come for me, it had somehow only been me and Vaughn on that beach.
We hadn’t been doing anything but sitting on the sand watching the sun set, but it’d been how we’d been sitting that my mind had craved.
I’d been in front of Vaughn with his legs on either side of my body.
My back had been pressed against his chest and his powerful arms had been wrapped around me, protecting me from the biting wind.
Every once in a while, he’d leaned down and whispered something into my ear, but I’d never been able to make out the actual words.
But all that was gone now.
There was no safe place to go anymore… it had abandoned me when I’d finally stopped needing it. I’d been kind of glad, but now I had to wonder if maybe it hadn’t been too high of a price.
Two years of freedom.
Of feeling safe.
And hoping.
All those things had had an expiration date but that safe spot in my head had been a sure thing. It had become my best friend. And I’d happily cast it aside.
God, I was such a na?ve fool.
The first bite of protein bar felt like a rock as it landed in my belly.
And I knew in that moment this was one order I couldn’t follow.
I felt tears sting my eyes as I began retching.
Humiliation went through me as I threw up all over myself.
It was mostly just the dreaded piece of protein bar and a little bit of water, but it felt like what little pride I had left exited my body at the same time. I began sobbing uncontrollably.
I heard my name whispered softly then suddenly I was dragged against a broad chest. I was enfolded in the warmest embrace I’d ever known and that just made the betrayal sting even more.
I told myself to push him away.
I told myself to call him every swear word I’d ever heard my brother use.
I told myself to order him not to touch me or I’d kill him.
I didn’t do any of those things. To my horror, I fisted my hands in his shirt and opened my mouth against the spot on his neck where his top button had been left undone. I let out a bloodcurdling cry that didn’t sound human.
I hated him.
I just fucking hated him.
Except I didn’t.
And that was what was so messed up.
What I was feeling wasn’t anger. The pain ripping through me was a thousand times worse than the many times my body had been stolen from me and violated in the ugliest of ways.
“I trusted you,” I cried out. “You made me trust you!”
A big hand came up to clasp the back of my head. “I know, baby,” Vaughn murmured against my ear.
Like how he’d whispered to me on that beach… the one in my head.
My safe place.
The safe place that no longer existed.
The endearment felt like the cruelest of violations though, and for the second time in as many years, I did fight. I shoved back from him, but he refused to let me go. I’d gotten some of my sick on him and I could still taste it in my mouth, but he didn’t seem to care.
“Aleks, listen to me!”
“No!” I shouted. “I trusted—”
“Just fucking listen, Aleks! And I swear on my life, I’ll call Dante for you myself when I’m done if that’s still what you want!”
How many times had I heard that before? That if I just did what I was told, Dante would come and get me.
It had all been a lie. I was about to tell him so when he grabbed me gently by the back of my neck and pressed his forehead against mine.
“Aleks, my real name is James Vaughn Covello and I was working for Marcus Parks in the hopes of finding someone… someone who was taken just like you.”
I stilled at that and sucked in a breath.
“Please, Aleks… please, just listen.”