Chapter 34
Sloan
The next morning, I wake up to phone calls, text alerts, and emails from a thousand different podcasters, reporters, other musicians, and our record label.
“I hope you’re ready for the world to know you’re dating a rockstar, Major.” I hand him my phone as I snake my arm around his naked waist and pull him into me.
Jen never came to bed last night and I know enough to give her space when she needs it, even though this time it didn’t feel quite right.
“How do you want to handle this?” I ask Luke. “You’re about to be outed and then hounded by the media.”
“I’m done running,” he says, pushing his ass into me. “I’m owning this. I love you. I’m proud of you. And I’m honored to be in your life. We both know I should’ve been here a long time ago.”
“I’m glad to hear you admit that.”
My phone dings a second time and Luke’s goes off as well. The message pops up on the home screen, making Luke laugh and he holds it up for me. It’s a screen shot of a picture of our kiss last night and two texts from Nina.
Nina 8:39am
It’s about fucking time.
I mean, congratulations you homos.
I laugh deeply and fully for the first time in a long time.
“Never cared much for being politically correct, did she?” Luke laughs.
“Not even a little.”
“I’ll issue a statement today. You can be as open as you want to be about it, just remember, once it’s out there, there really is no going back.
It’s one of the reasons Jen never told anyone we were seeing each other.
People will come out of the woodwork asking for tickets, backstage passes, autographs.
They’ll want selfies with you because you’ve been with me.
And I swear, that’s not ego talking. I’ve watched it happen to all of them: Emma first because she’s Brett’s sister, then Sienna, then Bri, then Em again because she’s marrying Ryan.
You’re now famous by proxy and people can be really invasive. ”
“You trying to talk me out of this, Sloan?” he says, dropping his hand to cup my balls under the blankets, making my eyes roll back into my head.
“Fuck no. I’m just trying to p…paint…an honest…picture.” Luke laughs when I struggle to get my words out. “Careful, Major. Your actions are telling me I didn’t make that ass of yours sore enough last night.”
“I’ve suffered through worse,” he says, moving his hand to my hardening cock.
“Let’s grab a shower and I’ll try again.”
“Sloan, what about Jen? Are we just going to let her ice herself out?”
My chest grows tight over his concern for her. He may be in love with me, but he can’t ignore that he feels a certain kind of way about Jen too.
“The harder we try to draw her in, the more she’ll pull away. We’ll keep including her and she can decide when she’s ready to join us again.”
I start by sending her a text.
Sloan 8:54 am
We missed you last night. Please reconsider. We’re grabbing a shower and need more hands. Door’s unlocked.
I push the covers back and grab Luke’s hand, leading him into the bathroom where we both consume half a bottle of mouthwash and endure a vigorous scrubbing of teeth. I have just enough time to flip on the shower before his hands are on my pecs.
“There was a time not so long ago when I was certain there was nothing greater than a pair of real tits, but your pecs have me rethinking things.”
Unable to help myself, I add, “Just my pecs?”
His eyes drop to my cock and my blood starts to pool under his gaze, making it grow from the attention.
“No,” he rasps.
I need him and I need him fast. I pull him into the shower with me and set to work on soaping him up just so I can make him dirty again.
It’s easy to assume the dominant role with him. Not only is this still new territory for him, it’s the way I’ve always been with Luke. Less sure of himself in social settings, he always stayed in my shadow, waiting for me to make the call.
So, I’m pleasantly surprised when after using two hands to stroke me with soap and rinse me clean, he moves to his knees on the floor of the shower.
“Teach me?”
“Hell yes.”
He opens his mouth tentatively and for a brief second, I think he’s going to have another existential crisis, but then the tip of my dick is in his mouth and he could sing the alphabet to it, and it would be the best fucking feeling in the world.
For the first time in the history of our relationship, Luke Blackwell is finally on his knees for me.
My hands fly to the back of his head and it takes everything inside me to not thrust my hips forward and make him gag on my cock.
“Oh, fuck yes.” Jen gives amazing head but these two aren’t even in the same category.
Looking down and seeing Luke vs. Jen makes it a whole different experience but equally pleasurable.
The shape and size of their mouths are different.
The feel of their lips is different, and Luke’s hands grip the backs of my thighs where Jen’s usually tug on my balls.
Luke hollows his cheeks and looks up at me with a question in his eyes.
“That’s so good.” I use my hand to trace the jawline I love so much. “Just like that.”
He’s trying to atone for his sins with this blow job and he’s just about achieved it when he pulls off my dick and says, “Turn around, hands on the wall.”
I’m so shocked by him issuing a sexual order, I do it without question.
I feel his hands on my ass, pulling my cheeks apart and then his tongue is rimming my asshole.
“Oh fuck!” He reaches around to work my shaft as his tongue keeps lapping at my ass.
“Luke, I’m going to fucking explode.” As he burrows his face further between my ass cheeks, my dick gets harder in his hand. “Please. Let me come down your throat.”
He spins me around and impales himself on my aching cock again. Arching back for a second, he looks up at me.
“Give me what’s mine.”
I’d have to be a fucking magician to not come when he says that. I grip his head and try to drown him as I feel rope after rope of cum leave my body.
Once I regain consciousness, I shut off the shower and nod toward his erection. “Want me to help you with that?”
A coy smile spreads across his face. “Actually, I was going to see if Jen would be willing to help me out.”
Turns out, Jen didn’t help Luke with anything because she was gone by the time he and I emerged. When Jen decided it was over, that was it.
I should’ve known.
I hate that she was right about about the imbalance in the scales, but I didn’t know how to explain that I need them both. Or how to explain that sometimes in a threesome relationship, the scale looks more like a seesaw, but it always corrects when the parties love each other.
Jen and I have had almost nine months to work through what our relationship looks like and hell, shit’s still changing. Luke and I do have time to make up for, but dammit, I didn’t mean to cut her out.
Having Lucky to talk things through with has been helpful, but I’m back to feeling like something’s missing.
Just when I’d started to feel whole again, I’m back to missing pieces.
“Can you be there when I get home tonight?” I ask Luke through the phone. I’m dog-ass tired and have somehow powered through the last two weeks of being on the road but we’re headed home for our mandatory week off and I’m starting to come off the high of performing.
“Of course.”
“Have you reached out to her?” I ask with na?ve hope that while I’ve been gone, Jen and Luke have made some progress beyond the short answers — if any — she’s given me.
“I asked her to lunch a couple of times but she always said she was working. My invite to dinner went unanswered.” He sighs into the phone and I want to suck the breathy sound into my mouth.
“It isn’t me she wants, Sloan. In fact, I’m probably the last person she wants to hear from.
” He waits a beat and then says, “Dammit.”
“What?”
“I swore I wouldn’t take anything else from you. I told her I wouldn’t take anything else from you. By removing herself, she made it so I didn’t have to be the bad guy, but you still lost someone else because of me.”
I hear the self-loathing in his voice.
“At least this time I gained someone too.” I don’t ever want to go back to a time when Luke isn’t in my life. “Will you be there when I get home?” I ask, repeating myself.
“With bells on,” comes his reply and I can’t help but smile.
“Bells are a little loud, but in the top right hand drawer of my dresser, there’s a pair of handcuffs. I wouldn’t mind seeing those on.”
I’m instantly relieved when I see Luke’s 4Runner in my driveway.
It doesn’t matter that it’s eight o’clock at night and I’ve been awake for thirty-six hours, somehow, I still had enough energy to wind myself up tightly, thinking he wouldn’t be able to make it over tonight and for the first time in three months, I would come home from tour to an empty house.
He’s on me as soon as I open the door.
Women seem to think they’re the only ones who enjoy a man’s body in low-slung gray sweatpants, but they would be wrong. Lucky’s lines are more defined now than when I saw him a couple weeks ago and the sweatpants hiding his cock are such a tease.
“I was a little afraid you’d rethink this in the two weeks we spent apart,” I mumble against his lips, unable to get close enough fast enough.
“On the contrary. I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life.”
The guys on base have given Luke absolute hell.
Not because he’s with a man, but because he’s with me and they’re all furious he kept this from them.
Apparently one of the guys said, With all due respect, sir, sucking dick doesn’t make you special.
Sucking Sloan Alexander’s dick though? That makes you King.
I’m thinking about having that quote embroidered on towels.
The record label has gone insane wanting me to be their PR golden boy.
I declined. That’s Noah’s job. In a society where people choose to label themselves by their sexual preferences — I just want to live my life.
I don’t want special recognition because of who I’m in love with.
When Jen and I were together no one asked me to do anything differently.
I was Sloan Alexander, guitarist for Beautiful Deceit.
Now, suddenly, I’m queer, gay, bisexual, polyamorous, and whatever the fuck else.
I’m still me, I just happen to be in love with both a man and a woman at the same time, one of whom no longer wants to be in my picture.
“I’m exhausted. I want to feel every inch of you, both inside and out, but I’m basically a dead man walking right now. Let me sleep for about eighteen hours and I’ll be good to go.”
I always miss my bed when I’m out on tour and even now I’m looking forward to getting in it, but Jen’s absence is sharper than I anticipated. Although she and I still text occasionally, the hole she left behind grows bigger every day.
Following through with my routine, I strip down, hop in the shower and fall face-first into bed. The last thing I hear is Luke’s voice.
“It can wait until tomorrow, but we need to talk.”