Chapter 4
Hunter
I’m tired tonight. Well, it’s not just tonight. I enjoy working on the farm, but getting up multiple times a night, getting dressed, and trudging outside into the cool night air is starting to catch up with me a bit.
Maybe tomorrow I’ll try for a nap.
I yawn, kicking my legs over the edge of the bed, and stand. I’ve got all my clothes laid out, so I slip on my worn jeans and step into my boots, not even bothering to tie them as I put a jacket on to cover my bare upper body.
Making a bottle is second nature at this point, and I grab a flashlight so I don’t trip over anything on my way out to the barn.
I’m approaching it when I hear a soft voice, and I freeze, half worried that someone’s broken into the barn.
“It’s tough being all alone, huh?”
Theo. He’s… Is he in the barn, talking to Lila? I tiptoe closer, wishing I had tied my boots so they’d be a little quieter.
I peek around the corner and see Theo sitting on the ground, his back to the door, right outside of Lila’s enclosure.
She’s lying on the other side of the fence, and he’s got his hand stuck through the bars, petting her head like she’s a dog. That’s a typical bottle baby for you. Spoiled as all get out already.
I lean against the wall, just watching. Maybe I shouldn’t be, but I’m fascinated by Theo and his sad eyes.
“I’m not alone right now, though,” he says softly, dragging his fingers over the top of her head. “I’ve got you.”
My heart clenches.
“I just don’t get it,” he continues, still absently stroking Lila. “He’s so… happy. How is he so happy after such a short amount of time? What am I doing wrong?”
It doesn’t take much to figure out he’s talking about Luca. He thinks he’s sharing his thoughts alone, and this is not information I should be hearing.
Slowly, I back away from the door, then come back, making sure my boots are loud enough to be heard as I approach.
I step through the door of the barn, and Theo is on his feet, eyes wide with alarm. When he sees me, he places a hand over his chest. “Shit. You scared me.”
“Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were out here.”
His eyes dart away. “Fuck, I shouldn’t be. I’m sorry. It’s just… I couldn’t sleep, and I needed to walk, and then I heard something in here, and the baby goat was crying. Sorry,” he repeats, then walks quickly toward the exit. “I shouldn’t have come out here.”
“Wait—hey!” I say, blocking his escape path. He freezes, his blue eyes finding mine. “It’s okay.”
His chest is heaving, and I think it’s because he’s worried about getting in trouble for being out here, so I wave the bottle in the air. “Do you want to feed her?”
He stops in his tracks, eyes widening. “Wait… Really?”
I smile. “Yeah. It’s feeding time.”
His eyes shoot between mine and the bottle. “I don’t know how.”
That’s not a no. “It’s real easy. I’ll show ya.”
After a brief hesitation, he nods. “Yeah, okay. I’d like that.”
Making my way over to Lila’s pen, I unlatch her door, then wave Theo in after me. Lila, as always, is happy to see me. She’s trotting around and making the most adorable bleating noises.
“She’s cute.”
I turn to Theo. “She is. Her momma died during birth, so now we’ve gotta bottle-feed her.”
He frowns. “Oh. That’s sad.”
“It’s part of living on a farm. Happens from time to time.”
I sit down in the hay, then pat the ground next to me. After a moment, he sits down beside me, and I hand him the bottle.
“I really don’t know what to do,” he says as he takes it from me.
“It’s easy.” I scoop Lila up and place her on his lap. As soon as I do, she noses at the bottle, her little sounds ticking up until she’s nearly screaming at us.
“Whoa,” Theo says. “Maybe I shouldn’t do this.”
I shake my head. “Just nudge her lips with the bottle. She can smell it, but she’s still figuring it out.”
He does what I told him, and she latches on instantly.
For a few seconds we sit in silence, then Theo breaks it. “Thank you.”
“For what?” I ask, watching Lila damn near inhale her milk.
“This.” He stares down at Lila, his eyes a little dim. He looks so… sad.
“How was your visit with Luca and Austin?”
He’s quiet for so long that I’m not sure he’s going to answer. Not that he owes me one, but finally he sighs. “Well… it was strange.”
“Strange?” I echo.
He nods. “I’m not really sure what I expected.”
“I haven’t talked to him much…” I reach out and run my fingers down Lila’s side. “Not since he moved back to town, anyway.”
“I’ve only talked to him a couple of times ever.”
I nod, not really sure what to say. “You’re in town for a week, right?”
Theo sighs. “That’s the plan. I might go home sooner. Or maybe I’ll stay longer.”
“What’s the deciding factor?”
He adjusts, shifting until he can look at me.
He doesn’t look much older than me, even though, if I remember from his file, he’s in his early thirties.
It’s just those sad fucking eyes. Every time I’ve seen them, they’ve looked that way, and I’m not sure what to make of that.
Something about them… I wouldn’t say it ages him, but it makes him look more weary for sure.
“Well,” he says softly, glancing back at Lila, “it depends on Luca, I guess. I don’t really have any ties to where I’m living now.”
“Where do you live now?”
His lips twitch like he wants to smile, but they never fully shift into one. “Lots of questions.”
I bite my lip. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It’s nice having someone to talk to. I’m just a little rusty.”
Lila finishes her bottle, and Theo pulls it from her mouth with a small frown.
“You okay?” I ask.
He nods. “Yeah, why?”
“You’re frowning.”
He looks surprised that I’ve noticed, and okay, maybe it is weird that I did, but hey, what can you do? Nothing else in this barn is as interesting as him.
“I enjoyed feeding her.” His frown deepens. “It was nice to just… I don’t know.”
I can’t help but smile. “I’ll be back out here at 7 a.m. to do it again. You can join me if you want.”
Theo eyes me warily. “Yeah?”
“Sure. And maybe we’ll even get real wild, and I’ll show you how to feed the hens and the cows.”
“There are cows here?” he asks, his tone almost disbelieving.
I nod. “It’s a farm.”
Nibbling on his lower lip, he runs a hand over Lila, who has decided his lap is the perfect place to fall asleep. “Is she the only goat?”
“No. We have more in another barn. They have a separate enclosure, but she’s just a baby, so we gave Lila her own space. Ideally, we’d have her with another so she doesn’t get lonely. But… it just didn’t work out that way.”
He strokes her back again. “Yeah, we aren’t supposed to be alone.”
My heart aches at the raw pain in his voice. “No. We certainly are not.”
We sit together in silence, with Theo just rubbing his hand up and down Lila’s back. After a while, he sighs. “If you’re gonna be out here in just a couple of hours, I should let you get to bed.”
“You should probably get to bed too. Been a busy couple of days for you.”
He nods. “Yeah… What do I do with her?”
I chuckle, then scoop her up and lay her down on the hay beside me. She makes a small noise, likely annoyed with being moved from Theo’s warm lap, but she settles pretty quickly.
Theo’s eyes follow me as I get up and check her water and her temps, and when I’m done, I hold a hand out to him. He takes it cautiously, letting me pull him to his feet. His hand is softer than I thought it would be and warm considering the slight chill in the air.
“Better get inside,” I say, dropping his hand and taking a step back.
“Yeah.”
He follows me wordlessly out of the barn, and when we make it across the yard and onto the front porch, he clears his throat. “Thank you again.”
“Anytime.”
We walk quietly up the stairs, and he slips into his room, shutting the door behind him.
It’s not until I’m back in bed with the blankets pulled up around me that I realize he never told me if he was planning on coming out with me in the morning.
There are not enough hours between me going to sleep and my 6:45 alarm, but maybe I’ll try to take a nap after the rounds and breakfast. I don’t regret my detour this morning with Theo, but it definitely cut into my sleep. I don’t know how parents do this shit.
I stumble out of my room, still half asleep, and nearly run directly into Theo. He yelps, and I scream, and, well… that’s embarrassing. “Holy shit,” I gasp, placing a hand over my racing heart. “Sorry. I didn’t expect you to just be… there.”
He grimaces. “I didn’t know whether you were still in there or not. I didn’t want to knock.”
“So you just stood outside my door like a sleep paralysis demon instead?”
Theo stares at me, and I stare at him, my heart pounding against my ribs. And then, he shocks the ever-loving fuck out of me.
He laughs. A huge belly laugh that has him doubling over. I haven’t so much as seen him smile, and here he is, standing outside my door before the sun’s even up… laughing.
It’s so fucking infectious that before I know it, I’m laughing too.
“I didn’t mean to scare you,” he says, honest to goodness giggling with each word.
I wipe at my eyes, trying to get myself under control. “I bet not, but you did.”
He giggles again. “I can tell. You—” His voice cuts off with a high-pitched sort of wheeze, and I dissolve into laughter all over again.
When he finally calms down, he stands up, peering at me through damp, smiling eyes. “Sorry again. Can I still help you?”
My heart flutters. Oh, that’s not good at all. “Of course. Did you bring a jacket, though? It’s a little cold when you’re not in the barn.”
The light disappears from his eyes. “Fuck. No.”
“Easy to fix.” I step back into my bedroom and pull out a coat from my closet. It’s not one I usually wear to do chores in, but if it puts that smile back in his eyes, it’ll be worth it.
He’s still waiting in the hallway, looking anywhere but at me, but when I hold out the jacket, he takes it. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. We should head down. Lila is probably madder than a wet hen.”
Theo snorts. “Madder than a wet hen. What’s that mean?”
“I’ve never had anyone ask me that before.”
I nod my head toward the stairs, and Theo follows me down and into the kitchen, where I start making Lila’s bottle. “It’s, like, really mad. You put a hen in water to stop her from being broody. I think it comes from that. Like it pisses them off, you know?”
“Broody?”
I shoot him a grin. “You’ve got a lot to learn.”
“We can’t all be strapping country boys like you.”
I shake my head with a laugh. “No, I guess not.” Stepping back from the counter, I wave the bottle. “You ready?”
Theo chews on his lip for a second, but finally he nods, and we walk out the kitchen door side by side.