Chapter 13
Hunter
Early May
Molls is sad. I can’t say I blame her.
I’ve been debating texting Theo more. I’ve also been debating whether I should swing by the diner and talk to Luca. If Theo is still talking to him, maybe I didn’t ruin anything.
The whole interaction in the barn that day has played nonstop in my head since it happened. I can’t stop thinking about the way his voice cracked, about the way his eyes welled up and spilled over. The hurt and desolation in his voice nearly took me to my knees.
I wanted to go after him, stop him from leaving. I couldn’t. Not because I didn’t want to, but because it was clear I was the last person he wanted to talk to. I don’t blame him for that. I just wish I had done things differently.
After dismounting, I lead Molls to her stall before untacking her and hanging her saddle by the door.
Grabbing the brush from the hook, I step up beside her, holding my hand out so she can boop my palm.
I start brushing her coat. It’s second nature, routine, and it keeps me calm, grounded.
“Do you think I should text him?”
Molls sniffs, her ears twitching.
Super helpful.
Seems she doesn’t really care what I do as long as I keep brushing her.
My thoughts go back to Theo. They always do when I’m in here, which is a real shame because this barn used to be my peace. Being with Molls was my peace. Now it’s just a reminder of all the ways I fucked up.
When I’m done brushing Molls, I leave her to go into the feed room.
When I slip through the door, Molls lets out an excited nicker. She knows she’s getting a treat, and she’s fully convinced I won’t disappoint her. To be fair, I haven’t before. Wish I had that same streak with people—with Theo.
Opening the dented lid to the bin, I reach in, grabbing two alfalfa cubes before shutting it and heading back to Molls.
She’s got her head over the railing, ears pricked and neck outstretched, and I smile despite myself.
Her lips brush my palm as I hold it out to her, and just like I half expected, she takes them both at once.
I laugh, rolling my eyes. “Greedy girl.”
I watch her for a while, waiting until she’s got them both chewed before taking my phone out and snapping a quick photo of her. She’s always so pretty after being brushed.
Before I can think too hard about it, I send the photo to Theo and shove my phone back into my pocket.
By the time I’ve finished my chores for the morning, I’m sweating. It’s getting warmer, and even the morning air is sticky and gross. Wiping my brow with my forearm, I sigh, then head into the house after kicking my boots off on the porch.
We have a guest today. An older woman who’s traveling across the state to visit her new grandson.
She’s here for today and tonight and is leaving tomorrow morning, but she’s been nice company for Mom.
They’re talking in the kitchen when I walk inside, so instead of bothering them, I go upstairs and slip into my bedroom.
I’ve been putting off looking at my phone, mostly because I’m worried that Theo has left me on read, or worse, not looked at my message at all. But when I slide it out of my pocket and sit down on the edge of my bed with it, I see he has—not only once, but twice.
My heart skips a beat as I tap on the notification. The two messages were sent forty-five minutes apart, and the last one came in just a few minutes ago.
Theo
Oh what a pretty girl. I miss her so much.
How are you?
Something inside me settles a little. Not just because he texted me back, but because he asked how I am. He made a choice to text later on when he didn’t hear from me.
Me
I’m okay. How are you?
I hit send before I can talk myself out of it. Surely I can ask about him since he did me. Before I can even set my phone down, he’s read the message and is typing.
Theo
20%
My heart thuds, lurching in my chest. Fuck.
Me
I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do?
Theo
Can I call you?
I blink at my screen in shock for a minute, then text back.
Me
Yes.
My phone rings, and I swipe to answer before it’s even done with the first one. “Hello?”
There’s a beat and then a softly spoken “Hi.”
I have to bite my lip hard to keep from blurting out apologies for everything that happened that drove Theo away. Instead, I clear my throat. “I’m sorry you’re having a hard time.”
“It happens.”
His voice sounds half monotone, and it makes my stomach clench. “Is there something wrong? Is that why you wanted to call?”
It sounds like he snorts, but I can’t be sure. “Does something have to be wrong?”
I shake my head. “No, of course not. I just wanted to make sure. I wasn’t sure you’d even want to talk to me.” Goddammit.
This time, he does laugh—a short, humorless one. “I wasn’t sure you’d want to talk to me after how I acted.”
My nose scrunches in confusion. “How you acted?”
Theo’s silent for so long that I’m worried he’s hung up, but then he sighs. “I don’t have the energy for this right now. Can you…” A pause, then another drawn-out sigh. “Will you tell me about the animals?”
Swallowing hard against the tightness in my throat, I adjust on my bed, getting more comfortable.
“I got Molls out today. I’ve been riding Lucky,” I say, settling in to just talk.
I know how much that seemed to help him last time he was low.
“She had fun, and when I got back, I brushed her good and got her a treat.”
Theo hums. “What kind of treat? I was looking online the other day, and it said you can give horses sugar cubes. Does she get those?”
“Sometimes.” I can’t believe he was looking online for information about horses. “It’s a rare treat, though.”
“What did she have today, then?”
“Alfalfa cubes.” I let out a soft chuckle. “She’s greedy. Took them both out of my hand in one swoop.”
“She’s not greedy. She’s a good girl.”
I sigh. “Yeah, she really is. Anyway, like I said, I’ve been riding Lucky a lot the last couple of weeks.
” I leave out the part about how the biggest reason is that seeing Molls just brings me back to the day he left.
And I hate that. I hate that Molls has been reduced to that in my mind.
But getting her out today was healing in a way.
“She had a blast. We were flying. The wind was whipping, and it was so soothing.”
“I miss that,” Theo says softly. “Riding. It was fun. Do you think…”
Waiting until it becomes clear he’s not gonna answer, I say, “Do I think what?”
“Do you think I could ride her again… If I came to visit or something?”
My stomach flip-flops. “You want to come visit?”
“Yeah, of course. I told Luca I would come again.”
Luca. Of course. Why in the world would I assume he meant me? “Yeah, of course. When you’re here visiting Luca, you’re welcome to come over.”
Theo sighs again. “I’m in bed. My brain is really tired today. I had to call in to work. Can you keep talking to me? I might fall asleep, though.”
“Of course I’ll keep talking to you.”
And I do. I tell him about the cows and how the fence broke last week, and I had to wrangle them. He lets out a tired laugh and mumbles, “Like a real cowboy.”
I talk and talk. About nothing and everything. Until my voice is hoarse. Until his yawns have faded into soft snores. When I’m sure he’s not going to wake up, I whisper a soft “Goodnight” and hang the phone up.
1 week later (mid-May)
“It was the longest day of my life.”
“Oh?” I ask, picking up my plate from the counter. “Thanks, Mom,” I say. “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay in here with you?”
She gives me a look that shows she definitely doesn’t. I finally caved and told her about what happened fully the day that Theo left, and she’s been a big fan of us continuing our nightly phone calls. I think she worries about him.
“Yeah, I kept getting these dickhead customers.” He sounds more chipper today than he did yesterday. “One guy told me the wrong pump and then accused me of being incompetent when he came in to bitch at me. I wish I could say it felt good to correct him.”
While he talks, I make my way up the stairs, disappearing into my bedroom and closing the door behind me before sitting at the desk against the wall.
“It didn’t?” I ask, stabbing a piece of potato with my fork and blowing on it.
“No. I kind of just felt nothing.”
Well, that’s not good.
“Percentage?” I ask, setting my fork back on my plate.
He sighs. “I don’t know. Not enough. Like twenty, I think.”
He’s been twenty all week.
“Anyway,” he continues, “it sucked. Tell me about your day?”
I talk to him around bites of food. “Same ol’. I did go into town and eat at the diner today.”
“How is Luca?” Theo asks, his tone almost concerned but still too flat to really pull it off.
“He wasn’t working today. Arlo was.”
“Oh.” Theo pauses. “How is Arlo then?”
“Seemed good, I think. I don’t know him all that well.”
Theo chuckles. “How do you not know someone?”
A smile pulls at my lips. “Arlo is a transplant. He didn’t grow up here. Showed up in town a couple of months before Luca came back.”
“Are you and Luca and Austin not friends?”
My cheeks heat. “We were.”
“Were?”
I take another bite while I think about what to say. “Well,” I start, my face burning hotter. “We became friends in middle school, but I was younger by a grade. Austin and Luca were already pretty much inseparable by that time.”
“Yeah, I got that vibe,” Theo says.
“They got closer and closer all through middle and high school. All the way up until Luca moved away. Austin was inconsolable, and, well, that really sucked for fifteen-year-old me with a crush.”
Theo falls silent. “You had a crush on Austin?”
“Many moons ago.”
Theo hums. “Interesting. Can’t say I blame you.” That makes me grin. “Austin seems like a good guy. I think you’re better, though.”
I bark out a laugh, even as my stomach swoops. “Well, I couldn’t very well have a crush on myself now, could I?”
“It’d be a little strange, but I’ve seen stranger things.”
Fuck, I miss him.
“I bet you have, livin’ in that big city.”
He groans. “I miss the country. How did you all ruin me in a week?”
Not quite a week, my brain reminds me unhelpfully. “Just something about a small town, I suppose.”
“Yeah,” he sighs. “You’re right. I loved it so much. Just endless sky and cows.”
“And goats,” I chime in.
“And horses,” Theo adds.
“And chickens too.”
Theo blows out a breath. “Yeah, don’t remind me. Terrifying little dinosaurs.”
I can’t hold back my laugh.