Chapter 33
Hunter
Theo’s nervous. I can tell. I wish he wasn’t, but I understand why he is. When we get to Austin and Luca’s front door, he shakes out his hands, blowing out a deep breath. “Alright,” he mumbles to himself. “It’s gonna be okay.”
“It is.” Turning toward him, I cup his jaw, tilting his head back. “This is gonna be fun. And if you’re not having fun, just say… spoiled milk, and I’ll take you home.”
Theo laughs. “Spoiled milk?”
“Sure.”
He quirks an eyebrow. “Are you giving me a safe word for a game night?”
I press a kiss to his nose. “If that’s what it takes, yep.”
He fights a smile, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip. “Well, alright then. Spoiled milk if I need to get out.”
“You got it.” I brush my thumb along his jaw. “But this will be fun, I promise.”
Steeling himself, Theo turns and knocks on the front door. Less than three seconds later, Luca is throwing it open with a grin. “Hey, y’all. I’m glad you could make it.”
“Thanks for having me,” I say, offering Luca a smile.
Luca tilts his head. “And lucky for you, there’s no rock skipping today.”
I roll my eyes with a groan. “Oh my God. Are you ever gonna let that go? The only reason you won is because you cheated.”
“I’m not sure you can cheat at rock skipping.” Austin pops up behind Luca in the doorway. Of course he would take Luca’s side. Nothing changes, I guess. “Nice to see you, Theo. Hunter, you too.” He nods his head toward me. “Come on in.”
Warm fingers slip in between mine, and I give them a gentle squeeze as I lead Theo inside. The last time I was here, I barely even noticed the house itself. I was much too worried about Theo. And for good reason, it turns out.
Brushing my thumb along his, I give his hand another squeeze. Things could have turned out so differently if he hadn’t shown up at my house in the middle of the night, and the thought of that… Fuck.
“Okay, so I thought we could play Monopoly.” Luca pulls the box out from under the coffee table. “It’s Jasper’s least favorite game, and if there’s anything I like doing, it’s driving Jasper up the wall.”
“I’m fine with that,” Theo says. “Monopoly. Not driving Jasper up the wall.”
“When are they gonna be here?” I ask, looking around.
“Any minute, I think,” Austin says, just as a knock sounds out.
The door creaks open a second later, and Arlo steps inside with Jasper hot on his trail.
“Did you ride together?” Luca asks, sounding suspicious.
Arlo and Jasper exchange a glance before Arlo clears his throat. “Yes.”
Given the look on Austin and Luca’s faces, that’s news to them.
Catching a ride to game night together is no less than I expected from the two of them, given that I caught them kissing outside of the fire station one night.
Although, they did seem to be tucked away and hidden. So maybe it’s not common knowledge…
Interesting.
“Anyway,” Jasper says. “Our transportation can’t be the most entertaining thing you’ve got going on. What are we doing tonight?”
“Game night, but first…” Luca stands, then walks toward me and Theo. “Jasper, this is Theo, and obviously, you know Hunter.”
“Nice to see you again, man,” I say, nodding my head.
Jasper nods. “Likewise. Theo.” He holds his hand out, and Theo shakes it. “Really nice to meet you.”
“We’ve seen each other at the diner a few times, but Arlo usually takes care of you.”
Jasper’s eyes twinkle. “He sure does.”
How in the world is no one else seeing this? I glance around, and Luca’s eyebrows are at his hairline as he stares at Austin. Okay, so I guess they do.
“Anyway,” Luca says. “Monopoly.”
Arlo and Theo both laugh while Jasper groans, and him laughing with his friend and coworker makes my heart so happy it could nearly burst.
“Called it.” Luca points at us. “Didn’t I call it? Hates monopoly.”
Austin gives Luca an indulgent smile and pulls him against his side. “You, baby, are a menace.” He drops a kiss to Luca’s forehead, then turns. “Okay. Everyone, gather around. Game time.”
All of us make our way to the small coffee table in the middle of the room. When we sit down, Theo practically plasters himself to my side, so I wrap my arm around him and pull him in a little tighter.
Humming, he sinks his weight into me. “I wanna be the top hat.”
A second later, Luca places the top hat on the table in front of Theo.
“If all of you take my money, I’m going home,” Jasper says, which makes everyone in the room laugh.
Arlo taps Theo on the arm. “If he leaves, do you wanna give me a ride?”
Theo grins. “Definitely.”
We all settle in as Luca sets up the board and starts counting out everyone’s money.
“Who’s the banker?” I ask.
Luca passes me my one-dollar Monopoly bills. “Me.”
Oh, great. He’s probably gonna cheat at this too. Figures.
Three hours later, Jasper lets out a whoop after we’ve all counted our money. “I won. Holy shit. I actually fucking won!”
Theo laughs, and Luca glares at him. “Yeah, yeah, rub it in.”
“So, let me get this right,” Arlo says, dragging out the i in the word right. I know I’ve got an accent, but his is something else. “You hate this game when you’re losing, but when you win, you like it?”
“Isn’t that the natural order of things?” Austin asks, chuckling. “Never met a loser more sore than Jasper.”
Jasper rolls his eyes. “You take that back right now.”
“Can’t,” Austin says, “if it’s the truth, you know?”
“To answer your question,” Jasper says, turning to Arlo. “Yeah, that’s right.”
Arlo smiles up at him, then rolls his eyes. Looking back at the group, he drums his fingers on his legs. “I’m ready to head home. I didn’t sleep well last night.”
“Are you okay?” Theo asks.
“Yeah, I’m alright.” Arlo smiles at him.
Something tells me he’s not tired at all and just wants to get the hell out of here with Jasper.
“We should head out too,” Theo says, pulling away from his hiding spot at my side to look at me.
“We should do this again soon,” Luca says. “I had fun.”
I nod. “Me too. Thank you for inviting me.”
“Open invitation from now on,” Austin says. “I know we’ve grown apart over the years, but I’d like to change that.”
That makes me smile. “Me too.”
After we all say our goodbyes, Theo and I walk outside to my truck. The sun is just about to set, and the sky is gorgeous. Theo pauses, staring across the field to watch it. “You don’t see things like this in the city.”
“The sunset?”
He nods. “Yeah, it’s so beautiful. Everything feels so… serene here. The air itself feels lighter.”
“I should take you out in the fields at night. The stars are so bright away from the light pollution.”
Dragging his gaze away from the sunset, Theo smiles at me. “I’ve seen the stars out there many times. It’s gorgeous.”
I shake my head. “I mean, yeah, it is, but we’ve got lots of lights out there with the barns and the house. Out in the middle of a field? Unreal.”
He grins, ducking his head. “Okay, I’d love that.”
I love you.
My heart thumps. “Are you ready to head home?”
“Yep.”
After climbing into the truck, we start the trip home. Theo stares out the window in wonder for most of the short drive. “What are you thinking about?” I ask softly, placing my hand palm up on his thigh.
Like a magnet to metal, his fingertips land on my palm, then start their slow stroking.
“Just how much my life has changed, and how much of it I owe to you.”
I shake my head. “No, you don’t owe it to me. You did it yourself, sweetheart.”
“No, but hear me out. You were the first person in a really long time to make me feel like I mattered. At a certain point, you almost convince yourself that you’re not worthy of anything. I had convinced myself that I wasn’t worthy of anything, and you shifted my mindset. That was all you.”
My heart races, and I bring Theo’s hand to my lips to kiss his knuckles.
“Can I ask you something?” It’s a question that’s been plaguing me for weeks, and I don’t know how to ask, but while we’re on the topic of his perceived worthiness, it feels like the perfect time.
“Sure,” Theo says, resting his head on my shoulder.
“Why don’t you look at yourself in the mirror?”
Theo’s quiet for a second. So quiet that I’m almost convinced he’s holding his breath.
Then he finally exhales softly. “Well… At first, it was the abuse. I was always covered in bruises. My throat, my arms, and my torso. I’d have black eyes and bloody lips.
I hated it. Hated seeing myself like that. ”
There’s nothing I can say to fix that for him, so I don’t even try. I just keep my hand on his thigh so he can keep soothing himself with touch.
“And then, after I left, it was my scar. I hated that reminder. The reminder that he won.”
“He didn’t, sweetheart,” I say softly.
Theo nods, his head brushing my shoulder. “I know, but…” He shrugs. “Then it was my eyes too. I hate seeing them empty and dead, and they were empty and dead for so long.”
“And now?”
Shrugging again, he sighs. “Still my scar, I think. I just… I hate it. It’s such an ugly part of who I am. He permanently disfigured me, you know? I’ll carry that for the rest of my life.”
“I know.” I curl my fingers around his. “For what it’s worth, I don’t think it’s ugly. I think it’s proof that you won. That you beat him. You lived.”
Falling silent for a long beat, Theo sighs. “I wish I could see myself the way you see me.”
An idea comes to mind as I pull into the driveway at home. I put the truck in park and kiss Theo’s temple. “Go inside and wait in our room for me, okay?”
Theo sits up straight and looks at me. “Our room?”
Smiling, I pull him in for a quick kiss. “Yes. Our room. You’ve been staying in it for almost two months. You don’t think it’s yours yet by now?”
A pink flush spreads across his cheeks, and I can’t fight a grin. “Go on, gorgeous. I’ll be right there.”
When he’s in the house, I give it a few more seconds, then get out and head up the stairs. I slip into the room across from mine, grabbing the full-length antique mirror Mom has in here.
It’s heavy as fuck, and I have to set it down outside the bedroom door to push it open.
Theo is sitting on our bed, and when he sees me pick up the mirror and carry it into the room, his eyebrows shoot up. “What is that?”
I wink. “A mirror.”
He rolls his eyes playfully. “No, I see that. What are you doing with it?”
“I’m gonna show you what you look like through my eyes.”
His nose scrunches. “What does that mean?”
I prop the mirror up against the door since it’s the only space I really have for it. “Can I show you?” I ask, turning around to face him.
After a pause, he nods, his throat bobbing. “Okay.”
“Come here, gorgeous,” I say, crooking my finger at him.
Slowly, he crawls off the end of the bed and makes his way over to me.
When he’s standing in front of me, I step behind him and carefully adjust him until he’s centered in front of the mirror.
His eyes find mine in our reflection. “Do you trust me?” I ask, stepping closer to him and pressing myself against his back.
“So much,” he says, not breaking eye contact.
I lower my hands to the hem of his shirt, gripping it before lifting it slightly. He inhales a sharp breath, and I pause.
“When was the last time you looked at it?”
He shrugs. “Directly? Like this? I don’t know.”
I pull his shirt up a little more, and his gaze starts to drop. “Don’t look at it yet. Keep your eyes on me.”
They snap back up, locking on mine. I step back far enough to pull his shirt up and over his head, then I press against his bare back again.
Bringing a hand up, I trail my fingers over the side of his throat. “You’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen in my life.”
Letting my hand fall, I clasp his and bring it up to his throat. “Right here, gorgeous. Touch.”
He looks confused for a second until I drag my fingers over his throat again, and recognition lights up his face. With a visible swallow, he brushes his fingertips over his throat the same way I did.
Wrapping an arm around him, I dip my thumb into the hollow of his throat, my lips parting as I stare at my hands on him in the mirror.
His eyes flutter closed. “Eyes open, sweetheart,” I whisper, my voice thick.
Forcing them open, he follows the path my thumb took when I dropped my hand.
His back rises against my chest with each measured breath he inhales. “Want to keep going?” I whisper.
“Yes,” he croaks out.
I settle my palm over his heart, feeling the rapid beating of it. His eyes flick down to where I’m touching him. I know he can see his scar this way, but so far he hasn’t seemed to stare directly at it.
Taking my hand away, I watch in rapt fascination, my throat going dry as Theo takes over, placing his hand over his heart. I’m surprised when he drops his head against my shoulder and slides it up, cupping his throat with it before moving it back to his heart.
Dusting my fingers over his ribs, I fight a smile when he whimpers and the bulge in the front of his jeans grows. Dipping my head close to his ear, I whisper, “Is this turning you on, sweetheart?”
He nods, his fingers following the path of mine without me saying a word.
“This body is strength, Theo. It’s proof that he tried to break you and failed. This body fought for life. Clung to it. There’s nothing ugly about that.”
I place the flat of my hand over his sternum, pausing when he inhales a sharp breath. “Still okay?”
His voice is shaky when he whispers a near-silent “Yeah.”
I grip his hips, and his eyes fall to the movement. My fingers are splayed wide over his body, the part of his scar that ends over his hip resting under my fingers.