Chapter 34
Theo
I’m aching. My cock and my heart. It’s a strange combination.
Hunter’s fingers are gripping me solidly, resting over one of the worst parts of my scar.
“I don’t understand how you see anything but damage.” The words come out of my mouth, but I’m not sure I meant to say them.
Nuzzling my throat, Hunter hums, fingers flexing. I do have to admit, his hands on my body look pretty fucking good. I want him touching me all the time.
“Because it’s not damage, gorgeous. It’s strength and resilience and fire. All wrapped up in one gorgeous fucking man I’m lucky enough to call mine.”
His left hand moves slowly, covering my stomach and most of my scar before it falls away. “Now you,” he whispers.
My throat convulses as I follow his lead, placing my palm on my stomach. I try very hard to pretend this doesn’t exist, and the raised flesh feels strange, given that I hardly ever touch it.
“It’s not damage,” Hunter murmurs. “Say it.”
Oh, I’m not sure I can do that. I shake my head. He nuzzles my throat, pressing open-mouthed kisses along my skin. I can feel his hard cock against my ass, and it’s making everything so much more confusing and intense.
He was literally touching my scar, had his entire hand pressed to it, and he’s still hard. His eyes are still burning with want.
I swallow, then take a deep breath. “It’s not damage.” It’s barely a whisper, but Hunter doesn’t seem to care.
“It’s proof of survival.”
Well, I guess I’ve gotta give him that one. “It’s proof of survival.”
That one is easier to get out. Mostly because it feels more true.
“It’s strength.”
“It’s strength,” I repeat. God, I’m so fucking hard. “Why is this turning me on so much?”
Hunter’s breath is hot on my throat when he tilts his head to kiss it again, and it sends shivers down my spine. “Because you’re reclaiming it. You’re letting me show you how beautiful it is. How beautiful you are.”
My breath catches. “It doesn’t feel like I’m doing anything special.”
Warm lips coast up the side of my neck, settling under my ear. “It’s the bravest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Again, sweetheart. Say it again.”
I squeeze my eyes closed, then force them open. Dropping my hand, I steel myself and settle my eyes directly on my scar. “It’s not damage.”
Hunter’s fingers skate along my waistband, and I trail my eyes over each inch of my scar.
It really did heal far better than I thought it would.
There are some raised and red spots, but…
maybe it’s not so bad. Maybe I’ve built it up so much, burying my head in the sand for so long, that it felt insurmountable to confront.
Maybe I just needed Hunter this entire time.
“What is it, sweetheart?”
“Strength,” I say, my voice the strongest it’s been. “It’s survival.”
“And that’s beautiful,” Hunter coaxes.
“And—” My stomach clenches. “And that’s beautiful.”
Hunter inhales deeply, a soft groan echoing in his throat. “God, I want you so fuckin’ bad.”
“Take me then,” I whisper, heat exploding inside me. I turn quickly, pressing my bare chest to Hunter’s clothed one. “I’m yours. Have me.”
His mouth is on mine a split second later, hot and demanding, and I can’t seem to control the gasping moan that rips from my throat.
Warm fingers coast over my back, down to my waistband. Hunter dips them below it, brushing the top of my ass cheeks before pulling them free and gripping my hips tightly in his calloused hands.
He’s everywhere, his moans sinking into my skin, his hands tugging me closer to him, his cock pressing against mine, his scent filling my nose and making me lightheaded.
It’s somehow too much and not enough. I need more.
Everything. I need it all. Anything he has to offer, and then I want to build more together and have it too.
I just want to live under his skin. I want his hands on me all the time.
Tracing maps of my scars and forcing me to see the beauty in them. In myself.
Reaching down, he hooks the underside of my thigh and hikes it up, pressing it against his side before rolling his hip and dragging his cock over mine. The pressure and friction are mind-blowing, even through our pants.
But it’s not enough.
I break our kiss with a gasp, my heart pounding furiously. “Fuck me.”
His mouth falls open, his eyes widening and his pupils blowing. “What?”
Sliding my hand under his shirt, I run my fingers over the defined muscles of his stomach and up to his chest, rubbing my thumb over his nipple. He arches toward me, his breath catching.
“I want you inside me. Please.” His eyes fall closed, and I think about how he told me he wanted to top me, but only if I wanted it. “If you still want that.”
Eyes flying open, he cups my nape and pulls me back in, slotting our lips together for an earth-shattering kiss. “I do want that. I just wasn’t really expecting it. Given…”
He trails off. I know he saw my file. I know he knows about what Damien did to me, about the way he… But instead of feeling defensive or exposed, my heart warms and my lips quirk up in a grin. “I am too, I think. Surprise, I trust you.”
“God, sweetheart.” His voice is a low rumble, and when he catches my lips in another kiss, I sigh, slumping my weight against his body.
When he pulls away, he searches my eyes. “If something is wrong, you tell me. If you want to stop, you tell me, yes?”
I nod. “Yes.”
He tilts his head back like he’s staring up at the heavens. “Okay, how comfortable are you with me taking the reins?”
I can’t help but chuckle at his unintended joke. “Very. You seem like you know what you’re doing, cowboy.”
I wink at him, and he laughs too when the joke lands. “Very cute. Okay, you wanna use spoiled milk for this?”
I shake my head. “No, I trust you. I trust that my stop will mean stop and my no will mean no.”
“Always, gorgeous. Fucking always.”
Sinking his fingers into my hair, he drags me back to him, peppering my face with kisses.
My skin is buzzing with electric currents by the time he finally pulls away, every inch tingling and warm.
“I want you to get undressed, sweetheart. Okay?” I nod frantically. “And then I want you to face the mirror and stroke yourself until I get back.”
I’m not sure that’s the greatest idea, given how hard my cock is throbbing already, but I’ll do my best. If I go slow, it should be okay.
Hunter steps away, and I unbutton my jeans with shaky fingers before pushing them down my legs and stepping out of them. My boxers are next, and when they’re off, I turn to look in the mirror.
I let my eyes dip to where my cock is jutting out from my body. It’s so hard it almost hurts, and the tip is weeping pre-cum.
Taking a deep breath, I wrap my hand around the base, then slowly stroke upward. Maybe it’s a strange thing to get off on, but watching myself in the mirror is turning me on even more.
When I stroke up and a bead of pre-cum drips from my slit to the floor, I moan.
“Doing okay, sweetheart?” Hunter asks, rummaging around behind me.
I can’t see him in the reflection, and even though I want to, I don’t move. For some reason, not knowing what he’s doing… Well, it’s kind of doing it for me.
I trust him so fucking much. And that’s almost unfathomable to me.
He steps up behind me, and I don’t lift my eyes from where my hand is slowly stroking my cock.
“So beautiful,” he sighs. “Okay, sweetheart. You ready?”
I nod, whimpering when his fingers brush my hips.
“Hands on the mirror and bend over for me.”
I listen immediately, letting go of my cock and pressing my hands against the glass as I bend forward. I’m fully exposed, and I should feel strange or uncomfortable or something, but I don’t.
All I feel is stark fucking relief and so fucking horny.
“What are you gonna—” My words cut off as Hunter’s hands split me open and his tongue presses against my hole. Holy fuck. Holy fuck. A loud moan rips from my throat, and I bend forward, pushing my hips back to get more.
Hunter grips my ass cheeks, his fingers kneading as his tongue makes slow circles around my hole.
“Oh my God,” I gasp out, head falling forward until my forehead is pressed against the cool glass. “Oh fuck.”
He hums like he’s agreeing with me, then flattens his tongue and licks a stripe upward that has my knees buckling.
No one has ever done this to me before, and I was missing out. Every nerve ending in my body is attuned to him, to my hole, and to the way his wet tongue is lapping at it. When he stiffens it and presses the tip inside my body, I moan, my breath fogging up the mirror.
It’s so good. It feels so fucking good. I try to tell Hunter that, but I’m pretty sure it comes out as a garbled mess of whimpers and moans and not words.
My dick pulses, and I reach down to stroke it. Everything amplifies. The stroking sends bolts of lightning through me, and the insistent way Hunter is taking me apart circles to my aching, leaking cock.
I’m dying for friction, so I stroke myself quickly, nearly collapsing from how intense it feels. “I need you,” I somehow manage to say. “Please, Hunter.”
He sits back instantly, and I let go of my cock when he does. The cap of the lube opening echoes in the room, and then a cool, wet finger is being pressed to my hole.
I bear down, my body remembering what it’s supposed to do, and it slides in effortlessly. He seeks my prostate out right away, and when he grazes it, my dick jerks.
“More,” I say, panting against the glass. “I can take more.”
Hunter rubs his hand slowly over my ass cheek, working his finger in and out of me even more slowly. “You’ll take what I give you, won’t you, sweetheart?”
My balls tighten, pulling up to my body. “Ugh, that’s so hot.”
He chuckles lightly, then pulls out before pressing against my hole with two. “There you go, sweetheart. Let me in.”