38. Misely
thirty-eight
Misely
T he sound of boisterous, masculine laughter pouring through the front of the cabin announced the return of Talon and Milo. I had no idea what could possibly be so funny, but it sounded like there was enough humor to go around.
Birdie and I shared a surprised look, slowly rising from where we were still situated at the breakfast nook. I had just finished telling her the entire chaotic story of Talon showing up at my apartment until now. Her face when I told her how our first time had been, was comedic gold, but she crumpled into a fit of laughter when I told her about Talon staking a claim on me to Brantley. Somewhere along the line, she had gone from concerned, disbelieving, shocked, laughing, to finally settling on a wobbly smile.
I was about to tell her that I was pretty certain my heart was going to be broken at the end of all of this, when the man in question burst through the front door laughing with his brother. Birdie gave me a conspiratorial look that suggested, we’ll continue this later.
Milo stepped into the kitchen first, headed straight for Birdie. He took her in his arms without a moment’s hesitation, pressing a long kiss to her lips. He murmured something in her ear that made her flush before turning to me. “I see the dynamic duo has made up.”
I gave him a curt nod, a little embarrassed to have witnessed what seemed to be a private moment. When Talon stepped in after him, I felt my entire body freeze. He had not been secretive about our assumed relationship in anyway the night before. How would he behave now?
His eyes met mine and it was like lightening. There was no sweeping embrace or romantic kiss, just a long penetrative look that said more than words ever could. My face flushed under his scrutiny and the sight seemed to trigger him to run a finger down the line of my jaw to tilt my head up by my chin. He mouthed, ‘ you okay? ’ soundlessly, and I nodded, inadvertently leaning into his touch.
His thumb coasted over my skin and I sighed, a small bit panicked by the way his company had washed away the last of my anxieties. With the fragile truce between Birdie and I, and Talon back within touching distance after what seemed to be a very good run, I felt more relaxed than I had all week. Maybe all year.
“Well,” Birdie said, breaking me away from the bubble that seemed to have formed around Talon and me. “I’m going to get started on breakfast. Baby, do you have to run to Nina’s today?”
Milo kissed the top of her head and moved around her to head toward the hallway where the bedrooms were. “Yeah, I was thinking about taking Tal with. Give you ladies some girl time.”
“Nina’s?” Talon said at the same time I said, “Tal?”
He shot me a warning look and I bit back my smile.
Milo grinned. “Yeah, it’s the bar where I work.”
Birdie gaped. “You don’t—” It was his turn to shoot her a look, some secret passing between them. I'd be asking her about that later.
“Erm,” Talon said awkwardly, glancing to me. Seeming to have settled on something, his features relaxed. “Sure. Yeah, that should be fine.” Milo shot his brother another smile before turning down the hall and disappearing into what I assumed was his and Birdie’s shared bedroom.
Talon followed shortly after him, telling me he needed to finish up.
“Finish what?” Birdie asked me, pressing some buttons on her oven.
“His morning Non-Negotiables.” I looked down at my phone, a new email from Barbara letting me know that Benji was looking forward to our call later. A heavy feeling sunk in my stomach. With everything going on, I’d been dropping the ball on my responsibility to Benji, and he deserved so much better than that. I’d have to find a way to make it up to him.
When I looked up, Birdie was staring at me. “Morning Non-Negotiables? What the hell is that?”
I chuckled. “He just has a routine he likes to follow in the mornings. Helps him get his day started.”
“We all have our morning routines. Non-Negotiable?”
I shrugged, keeping my voice low. It felt like I was sharing some secret that wasn’t mine to share, even though it didn’t seem like he was hiding it. “I think it’s a control thing. It probably started when he was younger—something in his life that could be completely in his control when nothing else was. Now if he doesn’t follow his routine, he gets a little spiraly.”
There was a softness in Birdie’s eyes that reflected her empathy. Life hadn’t dealt her the easiest cards by any means either, so it was easy for her to understand other’s coping mechanisms.
“How’s things with your mom?” I felt the desperate need to change the subject away from Talon, and it had been a while since she’d last updated me on the ever-haywire conduct of her mother.
Birdie’s sigh was sad. “She’s back in rehab.”
My mouth fell open though I tried to maintain my composure. “Oh no, did she relapse?”
Carmella Koche had struggled with alcoholism all of Birdie’s life and it wasn’t until just last year—after humiliating Birdie during a drunken phone call that Milo had answered—that she finally decided it was time to get sober. A bittersweet decision for Birdie, who struggled with the fact that her mother had waited so long to get sober while also being grateful it was happening.
My best friend’s eyes grew shiny for a moment but she blinked back the unwanted tears and shook her head. “No, no. Thankfully. But when she graduated from her first stint of in-patient, she said that the urge to drink was too much pressure, so she readmitted herself after a few weeks.”
“Damn. How long this time?”
“Another five months, at first. But when it was time for her to leave, she signed on to participate in another four-month program.”
I grimaced, seeing in her expression how difficult this was for Birdie. “Does she really need all that time?”
She shrugged, busying her hands by chopping vegetables. “I’m not sure. Kevin thinks that she probably doesn’t, but maybe she’s just so scared that she’ll fall off the wagon that she’s using rehab as a crutch.”
She was referring to her mother’s husband, Kevin, who she only recently started considering her step-father. There was a long history there, with Carmella’s taste in men being…less than savory. Most, if not all of them, were alcoholics like herself, and almost all of them—with the exception of Kevin—had been abusive towards Birdie and her late brother, Nick. By the time Kevin came around, the siblings had been too jaded and mistrusting to accept him into their family. Things had changed drastically over the last year when Kevin decided to find his sobriety, and in turn so had Carmella.
Standing, I went to Birdie’s side and wrapped an arm around her. “Well, however she gets there, as long as she lands on the other side, I’m grateful.”
“Yeah, you’re right.”
“You deserve a sober mom, Bird. You always have.”
Her shoulders slumped beneath the weight of my arm and she leaned into me, a soft wobbling smile on her face. “You’re right.”
“Aren’t I always?” I asked, jabbing her lightly in the ribs with a finger. When we laughed together, it felt like nothing had changed.