42. Misely
forty-two
Misely
T he energy in the room shifted, a shadow passing over the kitchen table. Dread sunk low in my belly as I met Birdie's widened eyes. I had not heard the front door open, had not heard the heavy thud of Talon or Milo’s feet as they came to stand behind me. I definitely had not made any sort of mental plan as to what I was going to say to Talon, or if there was even anything to say in the first place.
A silent exchange took place between Birdie and her man, but I wasn't brave enough to turn around. I could feel Talon there, close, so close his breath touched the back of my neck. I was frozen in place, my heart hammering against my chest. When he spoke again, every word was carefully controlled.
“Misely. Look. At. Me. ”
Steeling my spine, I stood and turned, forced a step back by his proximity. He wasn’t very much taller than me, but the way he looked at me now made me feel small. “Talon, it’s not—”
“Not what?”
I tripped over my words again, my throat tight. Talon’s eyes were gleaming with something I couldn’t quite place, a combination of fear and panic and anger and pleading, as they bounced between mine.
“Misely, are you pregnant?”
“I don’t—”
“Yes or no? It’s simple, sweetheart, spit it out.” Color was rising in the cords of his neck, his hands balled into fists at his sides. Words toppled out of my mouth without rhyme or reason, nothing coming out the way it should’ve.
“I forgot my birth control and things with us happened so quickly and I didn’t even think about it until we were in the grocery store today and I realized that I’m due for my period in a couple days, but I haven’t been taking my pill and so I freaked out and we bought some tests even though I’m not late yet and—”
With every word that escaped, the redness beneath Talon’s skin grew brighter, his eyes wider and wilder. “How could you be so fucking careless?” His question was low and cold, hitting me like a gut punch.
“Hey man, sex is a two-way street—” Milo started but Talon was already too far gone.
“Fucking pregnant? A baby ? Are you serious right now?”
“Talon, I—”
“What the hell do you think we’re doing, Blondie? We hate-fuck a few times and what? You think suddenly everything has changed and I’m ready to settle down like one of your hundred fucking siblings, get married, pop out a couple litters of puppies, maybe buy a house in the suburbs? Is that it?”
“No, I—”
“You think because I buy you candy and let you confide in me about your dead friend and ex-boyfriend problems that suddenly I’m husband material, huh?”
I flinched, doing nothing to stop the tears burning a trail down my cheeks. Every hateful word was a slap to the face, stinging sharper than when the back of his hand had sent me sprawling across my own living room. Birdie’s hand flew to her chest. “Dead friend…? All right, that’s enough now. Milo, he needs to stop.”
But Talon didn’t hear her, or Milo who was trying to put himself between us. And I couldn’t turn away from him, acutely aware of each fracture that fissured through my heart.
“Newsflash, baby. This thing.” His pointer finger gestured between us just as he had in the dining room of The Lodge. “Is nothing. There is no we , there is no us . You were just a convenient fuck along the way.” His smirk was cruel. “I can admit you were pretty good. It was fun while it lasted.”
I tried and failed to clear my throat, to tell him that I hadn’t seen the results of the test yet, but I couldn’t get the words out and I realized then with startling clarity that it wouldn't matter anyway. Talon was at such a heightened state that he wouldn't be able to hear a thing I said.
His tone dropped so low I almost didn’t hear him. “I have no interest in being a father. Now or ever. Keep it, get rid of it, do whatever you want. But you won’t be hearing from me.”
Spinning on his heel, Talon stomped back out of the house, the sound of the van’s engine growling to life outside before it took off down the long driveway. Milo, looking stricken, turned to face me with apologetic eyes. “Misely, I am so sorry. I’ll talk some sense into him, you did not deserve that, and you have to know he didn’t mean a single word of it.”
It didn’t matter if he did or didn’t though. The hammering in my chest was beginning to regulate again as the realization I had lived with almost my whole life settled around me like a well-worn blanket. Even if he was just worked up in the moment, scared because of news he thought he’d learned, Talon had shown his cards.
When it came down to it, anything he might feel for me was not strong enough for him to stay. Just as it had never been for anyone else. I blinked, barely registering my own voice when I answered Milo. “Don’t bother, Pins. He’s made his decision.”
Closing myself in the bathroom, I took a deep breath and forced myself to look at the tests that sat waiting. Hysterical laughter bubbled in my chest, coming out on a choked sob as I stared down at the results.