Chapter 24 Cal
TWENTY-FOUR
CAL
Ispent the afternoon approving the photos from the photoshoot to be printed for the autograph sales.
A couple of the images were on the embarrassing side, especially the ones with the stick pony, but I was in a good mood, and what the hell, it was for a good cause.
With his permission, I snapped some pics of the proofs and texted them to my mom and sister, figuring they’d get a good laugh out of them.
Then I sent the funniest one to Amy, asking if she thought it would be good for Christmas cards.
I’d spent another night with Amy, though I had to wonder how many more times I could get away with the “slept on the couch” excuse.
Laura seemed to accept it but Jake clearly didn’t.
I tried to ignore his frowns. Amy was family to them and while I was as well—biologically—that didn’t give me any sort of pass, since we’d only just met.
Truth be told, no matter who disapproved, I wasn’t sure I could stay away from her.
We clicked in a way I’d never experienced before.
The sex was great. Phenomenal, in fact. And the emotional connection only seemed to grow.
But I kept getting the sense that she was conflicted about something.
Several times I’d thought that she was on the verge of saying something, then she would abruptly change the subject or start kissing me.
I hadn’t minded that, but what wasn’t being said nagged at me.
While Amy was uppermost in my thoughts, the entire Thorne household was on my mind all the time.
I liked my biological mother and half brothers.
They were good people and despite the initial shock at my appearance, they’d welcomed me into their lives.
And then there was my nephew, Henry. He was a great kid, lively and eager to learn everything I could teach him about riding. He was also easy to love.
Spending so much time around them, I felt like I was being sucked into a comfortable and happy vortex, which made me uneasy since I knew it couldn’t possibly last. I worried that they would get too used to me being around and that they’d be disappointed when they discovered I started to feel trapped whenever I stayed too long.
So what options did that leave us for a relationship going forward?
I wasn’t sure, but I knew I had to figure it out, especially when it came to Amy.
I needed some perspective.
Me: Yo man, what are you up to?
Rafe: My own version of hell. Rafe included a photo of a stack of student papers, many of which were already marked up with his scrawl.
Me: Bit harsh, if all that red ink is any indicator.
Rafe: Deserved. All of it.
I shook my head at that. While Rafe had been a great mentor for me when I’d first started out on the rodeo circuit, he’d been what my mom would’ve called “a harsh taskmaster,” and it was clear that that carried over to his teaching style He held all his students to high standards and had almost gotten into some tussles with angry fathers demanding he change their sons’ grades so they won’t get suspended from sports teams or other extracurriculars.
Me: Well I thought I’d invite you to dinner, but since you’re busy…
Rafe: When and where?
“Howdy, friend.” Rafael clamped his hand on my shoulder when we met up at the Roundup. “I’m not feeling the bar tonight. Let’s get a table.”
We made our way through the tavern, stopping to talk with a few other patrons before taking a seat at a booth toward the back where it was quieter.
“How goes the battle with the textbook company?” I asked after we’d placed orders. Rafael gave a casual shrug and I thought I saw a flush come to his face. “Any luck?”
“I’ve been talking with Gail,” Rafael said, and I didn’t miss the first name usage. “She’s intelligent, knowledgeable, but her perspective is different from mine.”
“How so?” I took a sip of the beer the server brought me.
“I want history unvarnished, if you know what I mean,” Rafael said, his fingers tightly gripped around his beer bottle. “If it’s good, show it. And if it’s ugly, show that, too.”
“And that massacre is an ugly piece of history?” I had looked up some of the details since we’d last spoken about it. There was even a monument to it.
“Yeah, but it’s also an important example of some of the soldiers’ moral resistance to what they were ordered to do.
People have this limited viewpoint that the US military is filled with people who blindly follow orders, and that isn’t true.
The most notable example was the reactions to the Vietnam War, but it goes back centuries and if you keep glossing over it, the truth gets buried.
That’s a travesty,” Rafael said, and I had to admire my friend’s attitude.
“Did you tell her that?” I asked.
“Sure, and she reminded me that textbooks are a multi-million-dollar business. She has to walk a fine line between representing history accurately and avoiding angering school boards that might decide to go with a different publisher entirely. She made some good points, which I have to respect,” Rafael said the last grudgingly.
“But I’m not giving up. Don’t think that for a second.
I want to talk with her in person. Maybe if I do that… ”
Rafael seemed too reserved, too accommodating considering how angry he’d been. “What aren’t you telling me?” I asked.
The flush returned to Rafael’s tanned skin.
“She’s distractingly gorgeous. Here, see for yourself.
” He pulled his phone out and passed it to me, showing an Instagram profile of a woman in her early thirties with long ebony hair and a killer body.
I took the phone and flipped through several images before passing it back.
“Okay, so she’s pretty,” I said. “What does that change?” I was goading Rafael, but I wanted to see his reaction.
“Nothing, of course. She’s still wrong.” Rafael said gruffly before taking another look and tucking his phone away, making me want to laugh out loud. My friend was smitten with the textbook editor, who a week ago had been his sworn enemy. “I’ll keep you updated. What’s going on with you?”
I shrugged. “Some press events. Also got to tour the location and gave some suggestions for better traffic flow for the competitors. Mostly, I feel like I’m cooling my heels.”
“Not like you to spend this much time in one place.” Rafael shot me a stare. “Making you antsy?”
Was it? I had expected it to, but so far, I was feeling okay. The thought gave me pause. “It’s all right. Kind of nice. Nothing’s sore in the morning when I get up.”
“Man, I get that.” Rafael had been a badass steer wrestler.
During his last event, his jump from the horse didn’t go well, and he couldn’t get a full grip on the steer’s horns to see the throw through to the end.
He got head butted and took the tip of the steer’s horn to the back, causing damage to his kidney, which he ended up losing.
I’d always credited Rafe with making me a better rider.
I missed him when he left the circuit, but he appeared to be happy with his new life teaching history in his hometown.
“You’ve got a good opportunity ahead of you in broadcasting.
I think you’re a natural for that. You’d make a hell of a teacher, too, but I’m betting I can’t convince you to enter the classroom. ”
“Hell no.” I wouldn’t mind teaching kids to ride and compete, but I couldn’t imagine spending my time in the confines of a school building every day. Some classrooms didn’t even have windows. The thought of going all day without seeing the sky made me shudder. “I’m looking forward to a change.”
“Are you?” Rafael sent me another “no bullshit” stare.
“Sure.” I tried to work up my excitement. “I think I’ll like interviewing competitors and talking stats. Rodeo is the one thing I know well.” I kept talking, trying to list the reasons that my new job was what I wanted. It sounded hollow even to me, and Rafael wasn’t buying it either.
“Let’s get to the unvarnished truth,” Rafael said a few minutes later. “What do you really want?”
Our food was placed on the table, but neither of us started eating. Rafael was an old friend, so I said what was on my mind. “The truth is, I’m not going to be happy with anything that means I have to leave Amy and Henry behind.”
“That’s how it is, huh?” Rafael didn’t seem surprised.
“Yeah, it is.” The truth suddenly became crystal clear.
I could leave town, but I didn’t want to leave her.
I had to figure out a way to keep Amy in my life, and I didn’t have a whole lot of time to do that.
I needed to talk with her, alone with no distractions or pressure from anyone else.
“Rafe, I need a romantic spot to take Amy. Someplace the townsfolk won’t see us. ”
“I’ve got some ideas,” Rafael said as he pulled a notepad from his pocket and flipped it open to a blank page. “Let’s eat and we’ll discuss a good spot you can take a lady.”
“What’s the notepad for?” I asked.
“A list of pros and cons for each location.” Rafael stared at me. “You gotta make a list.”
“You’re right.” I picked up my burger, feeling re-energized. I would find a way to make this work with Amy that wasn’t short term.
By the time dinner was over, I had narrowed down the romantic possibilities to one place not too far from the ranch that had to be reached on horseback. A trail ride and a picnic seemed the perfect way to have a discussion with Amy, one that might change my life.
I wished I was the type of man who could offer Amy a home, but I just wasn’t built that way.
Staying in one place for too long made me feel claustrophobic.
But life on the road with me meant living in an RV and following the rodeo circuit.
Amy might like the change of scenery, I reasoned.
And with her marketing skills, she could easily pick up a job with one of the vendors who followed the circuit.
They’d be thrilled to have someone with her expertise.
And Henry was easily pleased. He’d love being around the riders and horses.
It could be a good life for the three of us.
The more the idea took root, the more I liked it.
But first I’d have to convince Amy. If she absolutely refused to be on the circuit, I might be able to find a way to use Poplar Springs as a sort of home base.
I could manage small town life if it was only part time.
It was the sense of being trapped in one place with nowhere to go that had gotten me before when I’d tried to settle down.
I was in the middle of my month in Poplar Springs and I wasn’t climbing the walls yet because I had Amy in my life.
With her at my side, we could manage…but only if she was willing.
I called her late that night to set up a date for the following evening. We’d ride out, have a sunset picnic, and come home by moonlight. Nothing more romantic that that. I couldn’t wait.