Chapter 25 Cal
TWENTY-FIVE
CAL
Nerves kept me awake for much of the night and I carried those nerves with me until I arrived at the ranch the next afternoon.
I parked in front of the house, went up the steps, and rapped on the door, but no one answered.
Finally, I let myself in and headed for the kitchen.
Voices reached me before I turned the last corner. I stilled when I heard my name.
“I’m so glad to have met Cal,” Laura’s voice said, “but it’ll be easier when he goes. He’s…he’s so much like Luke. It startles me every time I see him.”
The words hit me with force. Laura continued to see me as just a copy of Luke?
“And I know Jake finds it tough to be around him,” Laura continued speaking.
“Brian doesn’t say much, but I can see that Jake is suffering.
He won’t talk about it, of course, but the pain is in his eyes.
Oh, Amy, knowing Cal is such a mixed blessing.
While I don’t regret meeting him, it’s been so hard. ”
I could picture the scene. Laura distraught, Amy trying to comfort her.
Both of them hurting, because of me. Had I only brought pain to my newfound family?
Dammit. I was sure that Jake and I had connected.
We had a lot of common interests and could talk with each other easily whether we were looking over a horse or sharing some beers.
We weren’t brothers yet with all the history that entailed, but there was friendship.
Or at least, I had thought there was. Had Jake been hiding how he truly felt until some sort of polite veneer?
I wouldn’t have thought he was the type to put on a front like that.
“I’m sorry, Laura.” It was Amy’s voice now. “I never meant to bring you pain by introducing Cal to the family. I hope you know that.” Of course Amy would take responsibility like that. It was in her nature to sooth ruffled feathers.
“Oh, I do,” Laura said, “and it helps me to know that my first born is a good man who was raised by good people. I’ve thought about him so many times over the years.” If you could hear tears in a voice, I heard them in Laura’s. “But the reality of having him here is almost too much.”
“I expect that he won’t be around much longer,” Amy said, “and then everything will return to normal.”
They were waiting for me to leave the area.
Laura and Amy’s conversation made that clear.
I believed that Amy saw and valued me as my own man, but the others?
Apparently not. I’d been a complication in my family’s life, a reminder of what they’d lost, the precious son and brother.
From what I’d seen, their grief was a long way from being over.
What did I do now? Slink off? Tell Amy it was over between us and break all ties with the Thornes?
I didn’t want to do either of those things, and I especially didn’t want to leave Amy behind.
As I quietly retreated to the porch, I tried to decide what I should do.
Amy cared for me. I was damn sure of that.
I didn’t know how much, but there was something between us and I didn’t want to let it go. We were good for each other.
Standing on the porch, I looked around the ranch and tried to think through my next step.
The entire evening was already planned. What if I went through with it and put myself out there to her?
I was picturing it. We’d take the romantic ride and I’d ask her to go away with me.
Staying in Poplar Springs part time clearly wasn’t an option—not when it was so upsetting to the Thornes—but there was still a chance that I’d be able to convince her to go on the road with me.
Considering what I’d just overheard, I saw that as the only possibility for Amy and me to be together.
This time when I knocked on the door, I called out in a loud voice. “Anyone home?”
“Be right there.” Just hearing the welcome in Amy’s voice helped. A second later, she was smiling at me as she opened the door. “Hi.” Her voice softened. With a glance around to make sure we were alone, she kissed me.
Hope lightened my heart.
We walked inside and the smile Laura gave me seemed genuine, but behind it… was that hurt I saw? Grief? I didn’t know.
“It’s good to see you again,” I said to Laura, and she nodded in reply. I lifted the picnic basket I was holding. “I hope you’re hungry,” I said to Amy. “Aurora said Marc outdid himself with our dinner.”
Amy grinned. “You and Marc seem to have become friends.”
I rubbed my stomach. “I think it’s more a mutual appreciation for his cooking,” I joked.
In reality, we truly had become friends.
I’d taken to showing up at his restaurant shortly after I got up on the days I didn’t have to be anywhere.
I’d help him bring his deliveries inside, then sit at the counter while he prepped for the day and we’d talk.
We’d shared a lot, even stuff I got the sense he usually hid from people.
Marc had gone to prison for a stretch for breaking and entering his then-girlfriend’s house.
He’d just turned eighteen and they’d had a messy breakup and he’d wanted his stuff back, but she wouldn’t let him in to get it.
So, he’d jimmied a window open and crawled inside.
Her dad found him loading his stuff into his car and called the cops.
According to the judge, it didn’t matter that he’d only taken his stuff.
He’d broken the law by forcing his way into the house, and he was sentenced to two years.
He ended up serving ten months, but that was enough to change his life.
While he was there, a celebrity chef who’d gone viral for his work with inmates came to the prison and Marc had been lucky enough to work with him.
His love of cooking started there. The chef was impressed enough with what he’d seen in Marc that when Marc was released, the chef had paid for him to attend culinary school.
As claustrophobic as I felt at times, I couldn’t imagine being stuck in prison.
It might have worked out for Marc that he found his passion, but I already knew what my passion was, and I doubted I’d have access to it while incarcerated.
While I knew there were programs where inmates got to work with shelter animals, I’d never heard of any that included horses.
Marc didn’t really understand my passion for my work, but he did understand the strength of my feelings for Amy, and he’d come through for me with a terrific picnic meal.
We headed out to the barn where Jake had been nice enough to saddle the horses for us. I took a couple minutes to fuss over the horses and make sure the saddles were properly cinched. Once I helped Amy into the saddle, I made sure the stirrups were at the right height and she was comfortable.
We headed for the gate at the far end of the pasture. I planned to have us merge onto the horse trail on the other side, which would take us to our picnic spot. The smile Amy gave me as we rode made me think that there was hope for us after all.