Chapter 47 Nico
NICO
Iwoke before dawn, still running through the possibilities of Maddy’s birth mother being alive.
Even when I’d been asleep, it felt like all I did was dream of the information she might be able to give us—of the closure Maddy might be able to get by meeting her.
My head was spinning so much that I felt like I hadn’t gotten any sleep at all.
Maddy was still sleeping, her breathing deep and calm.
If nothing else, I was happy she’d gotten a good night’s sleep.
A glance at the bedside clock showed that it was a little before six-thirty in the morning.
I decided to head downstairs and make some coffee.
I’d need massive amounts of caffeine to get through the day.
I turned on the kitchen light just as my phone rang. I looked down at the pocket of my pajama pants. The phone rang two more times before I pulled it out, bewildered by the timing of the call. The screen showed me that it was Luis.
“Hello?”
“Saw the light come on. Let me in,” Luis said.
My head still had one foot in dreamland, and I wasn’t completely sure what he’d said. “You’re outside?” I asked dumbly.
“Yeah, bro. I’m at the door. I waited until I saw the light come on before I called. I didn’t want to wake you.”
“What if I’d slept in? How long have you been waiting out there?”
“Dude, you told me what’s been going on with Maddy. Honestly, I thought when I got here, you guys would already be awake. Can I come in or what?”
“Christ. Hang on.”
Realizing the day would be even more exhausting than I’d initially thought, I went ahead and started the pot of coffee brewing before going to the door to unlock it and let him in.
Luis looked bright-eyed for so early, and it made me wonder exactly how long he’d been up.
He stepped in and glanced around the living room, kitchen, and dining room. “Is Maddy still asleep?”
Yawning, I nodded. “Yeah. First night in over a week that she slept through the night.”
“Okay. I wanted to stop by before I head to Tampa. Straight talk. Do you really think this Gabriella chick is alive?”
Knowing how Luis was, I wasn’t surprised by the question. If he was going to put in the leg work on something, he’d want to be exactly sure of what he was looking for. Did he need to focus his search on an actual person or a gravesite?
“I’m not a hundred percent sure, no. All I can say is I have a feeling about it.
Everything is so strange. Kenneth said she died not long after having Maddy.
Cancer. The thing is, in all our searching yesterday, we never found any type of death announcement or obituary.
Could she have died while in hiding? Maybe, but that seems weird. The whole thing feels like a cover-up.”
Luis nodded. “Right, it is a little too perfect. Not that death is perfect, but it usually isn’t tied up nice and neat with a little bow like this seems to be.
Disappear, have a forbidden baby, die quickly afterward?
Life doesn’t usually work like that. Not that it couldn’t happen, but it seems a little convenient. ”
I nodded, glancing at the stairs to make sure Maddy wasn’t in sight. “Right. If I had to guess, Kenneth was still protecting this woman all these years later.”
“It would make sense. You guys said he was hung up on her romantically?”
“That’s what he alluded to when… well, a few seconds before he died. He was in love with her. Unrequited love from the way it seems.”
Luis sighed and gave a little half-shrug. “I’ll do the best I can. If she’s out there, I’ll find her.”
“Thanks. Do you want some coffee for the trip?”
Luis shook his head. “Nah, got an energy drink with three hundred milligrams of caffeine in the car. I’ll be cracked out of my mind in a little bit. I’ll call you when I have some info.”
“All right. Be careful. The royals think she’s dead. Don’t be the reason we lead them back to her door if she’s not.”
“I got you,” Luis said as he headed out the door.
I sat on the back porch and drank two cups of coffee before pulling my phone out and texting all the guys, my brothers, Dad, and Javi.
Training was off for the day. Maddy was getting closer to her first shift, and I wanted to spend the day working with her.
Her stress levels increased with every passing day.
Nothing about sitting and watching us all shift and run around was going to help her.
If anything, watching us was probably making her wolf even more anxious and frustrated.
Maddy finally woke up an hour later, looking more rested than I’d seen her look in days. I waited until she’d eaten breakfast and woken up properly before telling her what I had planned for the day.
“Do you want to come back to the creek with me?” I asked.
She looked at me and raised an eyebrow. “What for?”
“Well, it seemed to help the other day. Maybe if we go out there more often, it will get you relaxed and calm enough for the shift to happen.”
Maddy put her cup down. “Whatever helps. I’ll get dressed.”
Twenty minutes later, we got to the stream and settled in. I wasn’t some yoga guru or anything, but I’d read enough about breathing techniques and meditation that I thought I could help her.
“Okay, just like last time. Close your eyes. Deep breath, three seconds in and out.”
Maddy did as I asked. I knelt behind her and gently kneaded her shoulders, trying my best to relax her entire body. I could feel the tension start to release from her as she continued her breathing exercise.
I lowered my lips to her ear and whispered, “You are strong, Maddy. It isn’t just your wolf. You are as strong as she is. Remember, you are in this together.”
I continued giving her prompts and encouraging words. We worked on it for almost an hour before we finished. Maddy opened her eyes and smiled. “I feel a lot better actually. My wolf also seems calmer.”
I breathed a sigh of relief, happy that it helped. “Maybe we can do this more often.”
“Yeah.”
I nudged her with my elbow. “You still don’t sound totally good. What’s on your mind?”
Maddy tugged a handful of weeds from the ground and tossed them into the water.
The green sprigs fluttered in the wind before hitting the water and floating away.
She was silent for so long that I started to think she wasn’t going to answer.
When she finally spoke, it was so sudden that I almost jumped in surprise.
“I still regret ever doing that DNA test. None of this would have ever happened if I hadn’t done that. My guilt is so overwhelming. Everything that’s happening with my parents and Abi is my fault, or at least I feel that way. It would have been better for everybody if I hadn’t been so curious.”
Her words hit me hard. Not only because she shouldn’t feel guilty, but because of the unknown that went along with them. If that DNA test hadn’t happened, would we have found each other? We were fated mates, but that didn’t mean we were guaranteed to locate one another.
As though she could read the thoughts bouncing through my head, she glanced over at me. “I don’t regret you. Nico. You’re the one good thing that’s come from all this. I only wish we could have met under different circumstances.”
That was something I could definitely get behind.
Life would have been so much simpler if I’d just strolled into her bar on a random Friday night.
Flirted a bit, exchanged numbers, and then boom, a normal relationship.
What was done was done, though. There was no way to go back, and there was no reason for anyone to feel guilty about anything.
Sometimes fate was a brilliant and wonderful lady—other times, she was a sadistic bitch.
Maddy tossed another handful of grass into the stream. “I need to get over it. I know that. Wallowing in the mistakes of the past won’t change a damn thing.” She turned to look at me. “I want to try and shift again.”
“Right now?” I asked, surprised by the sharp left turn the conversation had taken.
Maddy stood and brushed her pants off. “Yeah. Let’s give it a try.”
The next couple of hours were spent trying to talk her through what I did when I shifted.
It was honestly sort of difficult to explain.
For me, it was so innate and simple that it felt like I was trying to explain exactly how to blink or how to flex every muscle and fire every nerve it took to take a breath.
Instead of trying to focus on the biological mechanics, I tried to get her to open her mind and body up to the wolf.
Maddy tried to give me cues as we worked on it, letting me know how her wolf was feeling at certain points.
We tried running, lying on the forest floor, even taking our shoes off and wading into the stream to get her more connected to nature.
A lot of shifters were more at home in the wilderness, but that didn’t seem to help either.
“What if I shift?” I asked. “Do you think that might bring her out? My pheromones are really strong, especially now that we’ve mated.”
Maddy seemed nervous. “Sure. Let’s give it a shot.”
“Don’t fight your wolf’s reaction to me,” I said. “Stay calm, and remember the relaxation techniques. It'll only take a second for her to take over and shift.”
Maddy nodded, and without hesitation, I shifted, falling to the ground and landing on four paws. Maddy’s breath hissed through her nose as she chuckled. “Uh… she’s… I don’t even know how to explain it, but she knows you’re here.”
I moved to Maddy’s side and slid myself along her legs, rubbing my scent on her.
Maddy clenched and unclenched her fists and fidgeted on her feet.
I looked up and saw the expression on her face—she looked both confused and anxious.
She was whimpering and talking to herself, but it was so low and quiet that I couldn’t make out what she was saying.
I took a few steps back when she started to snarl and growl.
I could feel Maddy’s wolf. Her presence was right there, so close I could practically smell her. I’d never felt that before. She was close. So damned close.
Maddy shook her head and looked bewildered. “She’s not ready.”
I shifted back and took Maddy’s hand. “What do you mean? Do you mean you aren’t ready?”
“No, she isn’t.”
“How can you tell?”
“She told me so.”
The idea of my wolf actually speaking to me was beyond my comprehension.
Every time Maddy said something like that, it confused me even more.
Was it a werewolf trait? Some more powerful connection they had to their wolf?
Jesus, could they talk when they were in their werewolf form?
That was a pretty scary thought and added to the pile of questions we already had.
“Did she say why she didn’t come out?” I asked.
“She said as much as she’d love to come out, it wasn’t the right time.” Maddy took my hand and smiled one of the first genuine smiles I’d seen on her face in a while. “I don’t know what changed with my wolf, but I think things are going to be okay. We just have to be patient.”
She kissed me then. I had no idea what had changed, but she seemed more at ease than ever before. I kissed her back, wrapping my arms around her. After several seconds, I pulled away to look into her eyes. “I trust you. I don’t really know what or who your wolf is, but I trust you.”
I said that, but it was still strange to me to think of a wolf having its own thoughts.
The thought of my own wolf having its own motives and being able to dictate to me when and where he was going to reveal himself was bizarre.
But her wolf was part of Maddy. It had become rapidly clear over the last couple of months that she was unlike any of us.
We had so much to figure out. I’d do whatever it took to help her understand.