Chapter 4
4
PARIS 1961
It was already past nine o’clock in the evening when Allegra found herself knocking on the door of Etienne’s apartment on Rue Delambre. She’d spent much of the afternoon with him and Elizabeth, walking through the Jardin de Luxembourg. They’d stopped to watch the boats on the lake from deckchairs before moving on to see the chess players by The Orangery. It was, as both Elizabeth and Etienne had promised, an incredible sight. Every single table was taken, each one with inlaid squares making up a chessboard. The players moved their pieces in turn at lightning speed. Every now and again a player would get up and another would take their place.
‘Winner stays, loser walks,’ said Etienne, answering the question Allegra was just about to ask.
Before long, a small crowd had gathered around one particular table. One of the players was old, with a heavy grey beard and the other was young with long, curly dark hair. Neither took their eyes off the board at any point. At first the assembled crowd spoke in hushed tones but before long, each play was met with cheers or gasps, depending on whose side the spectators were on. Finally applause broke out as the young man offered his hand.
‘Who won?’ Allegra was spellbound but couldn’t make out from either player’s expression who was the victor.
‘He did,’ said Elizabeth, nodding towards the elderly gentlemen who slowly got up from his chair and shook his opponent’s hand, before reaching for his walking stick and shuffling off through the crowd.
They walked on through the park heading south, past statues – including a replica of the Statue of Liberty much to Allegra’s amusement – and people playing pétanque wherever space allowed.
‘This might not be the grandest garden in Paris, but it’s my favourite,’ said Elizabeth. ‘There are so many corners to it and it’s just so quiet and calm, even though we’re in the middle of the city.’
As they’d neared the southern edge of the park, Elizabeth had left them to walk back up to her parents’ apartment, instructing Etienne to walk Allegra back to hers. As the couple made their way along the elegant tree-lined avenue towards the fountain at the end, Etienne asked Allegra about her life back home. She’d been purposefully sketchy with the details, not wishing him to know too much about her at this stage. By contrast, he’d happily talked about his family and his home in Provence, not far from Saint Tropez. Allegra had heard of it thanks to a film she’d seen a few years before starring Brigitte Bardot, but the way Etienne spoke about it made it sound like a slice of heaven. His parents were farmers – at least, that’s how he described them – but they also had vineyards, selling their grapes to a local co-operative winery.
‘The landscape is beautiful, unspoilt. Just fields and trees and mountains in the distance. Nothing like here,’ he said, gesturing to the buildings they now passed as they walked along the narrow back streets towards Allegra’s digs.
‘So why are you here if you love it so much there?’
‘I will go back one day but before I do, I want to learn and travel and experience the world. Isn’t that why you’re here too?’ He turned and looked at her.
She swallowed hard. ‘Yes, I guess so.’ How could she possibly tell him she was only here because her parents had literally forced her? Standing in front of a man she could barely take her eyes off in a city she was falling in love with, she thought of her life back home. Even a month ago she couldn’t imagine ever leaving New York. For the first time in her life, Allegra was grateful to her parents. They might have only sent her away to save face, but that morning had opened her eyes to a whole new world, and she was more than ready to embrace it.
‘I think this is you?’ Etienne pointed ahead at the yellow stone building on the corner.
Allegra looked up. ‘Yes, I’m that one up there, on the fourth floor, second window in.’ Her heart sank a little. How she wished they could carry on walking and talking.
‘What are you doing now?’
‘Well, I have got a bit of work to catch up on but…’ She tailed off.
‘How about I show you some more of the city? Maybe some paintings I think you might like?’
It was as if he’d read her mind. ‘I’d love that.’ Allegra smiled at him, hoping he wouldn’t be able to tell how much her heart was racing. What was wrong with her?
‘Perfect.’ He looked at his watch. ‘We have plenty of time. I think we start with a gallery just round the corner, it’s a former artist’s studio belonging to Antoine Bourdelle, a famous French sculptor. They’ve just opened a new hall and I’ve been meaning to go for weeks.’
‘Oh, I love sculpture,’ Allegra lied.
‘And then if you like we can go and see one of the greatest paintings of Paris I’ve ever seen in my life. It’s hanging in a gallery by the river. It’s about half an hour if we walk.’
Allegra nodded. ‘That’s sounds… nice.’ She wanted to kick herself in the shins. Why was she sounding like such a drip?
For a second Etienne looked worried.
‘No, I really would like to,’ she said, mentally pulling herself together. ‘I honestly can’t think of anything I’d rather do right now. The alternative is sitting in my room up there, attempting to write an essay.’ Wishing I was with you , she wanted to add.
His face broke into a wide smile. ‘Then let’s go.’
* * *
They stood side by side, gazing at a canvas painted with swirling colours – deep blue, red, yellow and green. It was almost child-like. In the centre, a naked couple lay in a boat, wrapped in each other’s arms.
‘I thought you said this was the greatest painting of Paris, but isn’t that a gondola?’ Allegra tipped her head to one side.
‘Look around the couple, what else do you see?’ Etienne turned to her.
She could feel his gaze on her as she looked at the painting. At first, she couldn’t take her eyes off the couple in the centre of the painting but the more she looked, the more she saw. To the right of the figures in the boat she could make out the shape of the Eiffel Tower, the Notre-Dame Cathedral and another building she recognised but couldn’t place. A haloed moon hung in the sky as they floated on a deep blue sea, surrounded by musicians. As the moments passed, Allegra felt calmed by the image, it’s tenderness slowly revealing itself.
‘Who painted it?’
‘Marc Chagall. It’s called The Concert .’
‘It’s beautiful,’ Allegra whispered.
‘They say he paints dreams.’
She knew he was looking at her as he spoke and she lifted her head to meet his gaze. Allegra closed her eyes and quickly opened them again, fearing this may all be a dream. To her relief he was still standing in front of her, now smiling.
‘Are you okay?’ His brow furrowed.
She wanted to kiss him but didn’t dare. ‘You know when I said I loved sculpture? I lied.’
Etienne laughed. ‘I could tell.’
‘But I love this.’ She gestured to the painting in front of them. ‘Can I see your paintings?’
Etienne shook his head. ‘I wish you could but I’m not very good to be honest.’
‘You’re at art school here aren’t you?’
‘Yes, but I study sculpture. That’s why I wanted to take you to the Musée Bourdelle.’
Allegra grimaced. ‘And now I’ve told you I don’t like it. I’m so sorry.’
‘Listen, I’m happy you love this painting. We can tackle sculpture next. The sculptures we saw were quite brutal, I think. Perhaps Rodin might be more your style.’
‘ The Kiss ?’
‘You know it?’
‘I wouldn’t say I know anything about it. I just saw it in a book at school once.’
‘Then I want you to see for yourself. His sculptures look quite different in real life.’ He smiled at her hopefully. ‘I think you’ll see it in a different way.’
‘I think you might be right.’
Eventually, they left the museum and wandered slowly back down the Rue Vanneau, the late afternoon sun still warm on their faces. They chatted easily, Allegra’s guard now fully down. She felt like she’d known him forever, not just a few hours.
Before long, they’d reached the corner of her apartment building.
‘Okay, I’m going to leave you here, but promise you will come tonight? We will eat at mine first, then go to the club,’ said Etienne.
‘Yes, of course. Can I bring anything?’
He took out a pen and a small notepad from his pocket and jotted down his address, holding the lid of the pen in his mouth. He shook his head, then tore the page out of the book and handed it to her. ‘No need, just come around nine.’
Allegra laughed. ‘Nine o’clock? What time do we go to the club?’ The idea of starting the evening so late amused her.
‘It won’t get going until about eleven.’
‘Eleven?’ Her eyes widened, wondering how on earth she was supposed to stay awake that long.
‘I thought you lived in the city that never sleeps?’ Etienne nudged her arm gently.
‘Not in the bit I live in.’ She thought of her parents’ apartment, of the gilded life they led. Her mother used to tell her that money didn’t buy happiness, but it gave you freedom. Allegra had never understood what that meant. The last thing she’d felt living with her parents in that enormous apartment on the Upper East Side was freedom. In fact, she’d felt trapped in a life she didn’t want. They had everything and nothing. Possessions were more important to her parents than any real emotional connection as far as Allegra could tell. She felt happier standing on the corner of this street in Paris with a man she’d only just met than she’d ever done in New York.
Allegra looked at the piece of paper in her hand to see he’d drawn her a little map.
‘Just go left out of here, then cross the boulevard and walk down Rue de la Gaité. We live above the bistro next to the theatre. I’ll hang this scarf—’ he gestured to the one around his neck ‘—from the balcony so you know which one we are. Press the bell, the one with my name next to it.’
Allegra scanned the page. ‘What name am I looking for?’
‘Beaumont. Etienne de Beaumont.’
Allegra extended her hand. ‘Nice to meet you Etienne de Beaumont, I’m Allegra Morgon.’
‘Nice to meet you too, Allegra Morgon.’
He took her hand in both of his and shook it, smiling. He held it for a moment.
Allegra felt the heat rush to her cheeks. What was happening here? She’d never been so lost for words.
Later that evening, as Allegra made her way to Etienne’s apartment, the piece of paper with his address clutched firmly in her hand, she looked down at her outfit and wondered for the hundredth time if she was underdressed for a jazz club. She had no idea what to wear and given her limited options had gone for the safety of black, her favourite colour. She wore slim trousers that finished just above the ankle with a soft knitted black sleeveless top and flat ballet pumps, her long hair pulled back in a loose ponytail at the base of her neck and tied with a bright red scarf. She’d applied some kohl around her eyes but had struggled to see exactly how it looked in the tiny mirror above the sink in her room.
The other girls on her floor were all dressed up for a dance being held at the college so Allegra had done her best to slip out unnoticed. She could hear them talking excitedly about the night ahead, specifically which boys would be there. It was like being back at school in New York and, frankly, she couldn’t wait to escape. Walking along the street towards the main road ahead, as Etienne instructed, Allegra could feel the butterflies in her stomach building. She knew Elizabeth would be there, along with her boyfriend Luc. As she reached the bistro, tables spilling onto the street, she looked up and spotted Etienne’s scarf hanging from the balcony as promised. The window doors were open and Allegra could just make out the sound of music coming from the room above. Standing on the doorstep, she took a deep breath and pulled gently at her ponytail before pushing the button next to his name. She looked up to see Elizabeth standing on the balcony, waving down at her.
‘He’s just coming,’ called Elizabeth.
Allegra nodded and smiled, determined to hide her nerves. She listened as the sound of footsteps behind the door got closer, then waited as the lock turned. The large door opened and there was Etienne, a tea towel thrown casually over his shoulder. He gestured for her to come inside, kissing her on the cheek as she did so.
‘We live so close we’re practically neighbours! Follow me, everyone is here.’
Allegra followed him up the narrow wooden stairs, watching as he took two at a time. ‘I feel bad that I didn’t bring anything but you did tell me not to.’
Etienne waved her concern away. ‘We have everything we need, come and see.’
She followed him into his apartment, a small room with white walls and wooden rafters and double doors at one end opening onto a tiny balcony. Bookshelves lined the wall on either side and to the left stood a two-ring stove next to a sink. As Allegra walked further into the room she saw that it was L-shaped with a bed pushed up against the far end, a small handbasin in the corner. The fireplace was filled with more books and a huge painting hung above it showing a couple floating above a town, a small red house below them. Allegra thought it must be by the same artist they’d seen earlier that day. In the middle of the room was a table, far too big for the space, covered in a red and white checked tablecloth like the ones she’d seen on the tables in the bistro downstairs. On it sat various bowls filled with bread, salad, big tomatoes and a board with cheese and charcuterie. An empty jam jar held a bunch of dried flowers and alongside sat an open bottle of red wine.
‘Here, let me get you a glass.’ Etienne picked up a small empty tumbler and filled it with wine.
Elizabeth came in from the balcony and crossed the small room to give Allegra a hug. ‘Did you have a lovely afternoon? I had a feeling Etienne wasn’t going to let you go. Did he drag you round that sculpture place he loves so much?’ She laughed, winking at Etienne.
‘I didn’t mind it actually,’ Allegra said, laughing too.
Etienne jokingly scowled at Elizabeth. ‘Some people like that stuff.’
‘I think you’re just being polite,’ said Elizabeth, reaching for Allegra’s hand. ‘Now, come and meet Luc.’
Just then, a man appeared from the balcony. He had blue eyes, sandy hair and a moustache, and was older than she’d expected when Elizabeth had mentioned a boyfriend. He smiled at Allegra and raised a hand in greeting. ‘Hey, Allegra. I’ve heard so much about you already. Mostly from him.’ Luc nodded in Etienne’s direction.
‘Don’t embarrass him, Luc,’ said Elizabeth. ‘Now you’re here, Allegra, let’s eat. I’m starving.’
They sat round the table, the warm evening breeze blowing gently into the room. As they ate and drank, Allegra was quizzed on life in America. Having not been, the others were all under the impression that New York was the coolest place on earth. She was only too happy to tell them it wasn’t a patch on Paris as far as she was concerned. Then, having once again sidestepped some of the more personal questions – there was no way she wanted to own up to living in an apartment in New York at least twenty times the size of the room she was in now – Allegra asked them to tell her all about the jazz club they were going to that night.
‘I’m not sure I can really put it into words but this place is a feeling,’ said Etienne. ‘If you get it, you will feel it here.’ He held her hand and placed it gently in the middle of Allegra’s chest.
She thought her heart might leap out of her ribcage right there and then.
‘Everyone comes together to play, to dance and sing. It’s just magical, Allegra.’ Elizabeth’s eyes shone as she spoke.
‘Have you had enough to eat?’ Etienne turned to Allegra.
‘Thank you, I have.’
‘More wine?’ Luc reached for the bottle.
‘I think I’ll just finish this.’ Allegra picked up her glass feeling a little light-headed. She wasn’t used to drinking red wine and it had gone down rather too easily.
As if sensing how she was feeling, Etienne suggested they go to the balcony for some air. They stood side by side looking out across the crowded street, the faces of people below glowing in the light of the streetlamps.
‘So, are you ready to see another side of the city?’ Etienne took a cigarette from a packet in his pocket and lit it, blowing a thin line of smoke into the night air.
Allegra reached for his mouth and took the cigarette between her long fingers. She watched as the smoke curled up gently. She took a puff and handed it back to Etienne, trying not to cough as she did. It was much stronger than anything she’d ever smoked back in New York. She’d occasionally stolen some of her mother’s long, thin cigarettes, which tasted of toothpaste, to have with her friends in the park after school.
‘I really am,’ she said, looking up into his eyes. What she really wanted to tell him was that she’d never felt like this about anyone in her life. But it was too soon, she told herself. She barely knew him even if it didn’t feel like that. Allegra smiled.
‘What is it?’ Etienne asked.
‘Nothing, really. I’m just very glad I met you.’
His eyes shone in the dim light. ‘I’m glad I met you too.’
She thought for a moment he might kiss her but instead he just lowered his eyes and smiled. Maybe she was reading this all wrong and he was just being friendly? Her limbs felt light, as if she might float off the balcony at any moment. Allegra had never wished to be wrong about something more in her whole life.