Chapter 6
6
PARIS 1961
After clearing the last of the plates from the table, Allegra, Etienne, Elizabeth and Luc finished their drinks and headed back down the narrow stairs and onto the street. The pavements were still crowded with diners and drinkers as they made their way through the back streets towards the jazz club. Elizabeth and Luc walked ahead, arms around each other’s shoulders, talking in the hushed tones of lovers as Allegra and Etienne walked side by side just a few paces behind.
‘Look, there it is.’ Etienne pointed ahead.
Allegra saw a red sign with white neon writing on the corner of the next street, the words ‘Bal Blomet’ signalling the entrance. She felt a buzz of excitement. ‘I’ve never been to a jazz club before.’ She watched as her new friends were greeted warmly by the doorman before he opened the door. As soon as he did so, the sound of music spilled out from inside.
‘Here,’ said Etienne, holding out his hand. Without thinking, she placed hers in his. ‘Now whatever you do, don’t let go until we make it across the room to the bar on the other side. Otherwise, I might never see you again.’ He grinned at her and turned, leading her down the dark stairway. The music grew louder as they neared the bottom of the stairs. A black curtain was pulled to one side to reveal a dance floor packed with people, the band on stage at the far end. The heat of the room hit her with force, the noise unlike anything she’d ever heard before. A sea of bodies moved in all directions on the dance floor and the band played a furious tune, the smell of smoke and sweat and alcohol heavy in the air. A man playing the trumpet on stage stood at the front, his eyes squeezed tightly shut, his cheeks blown out so much Allegra thought they might just burst. Beside him, another man seemed to be wrestling with the piano keys but somehow the sounds he was making worked perfectly with that of the trumpet. At the back, a drummer sat calmly behind his kit, gently nodding his head and watching the crowd in front of him.
‘Over there,’ she heard Etienne call in her ear, gesturing to Elizabeth who was by a table on the far side of the club. They skirted the dance floor, occasionally moving to make room for a couple in full spin, faces flashing past with laughing, open mouths. Reaching the others, Etienne pulled out a chair for Allegra and asked her if she’d like something to drink.
‘Whatever you’re having,’ she said, unsure what else to say. Elizabeth shouted at Allegra over the noise but Allegra couldn’t hear. She just nodded and smiled, then watched as Luc took Elizabeth’s hand, leading her on to the dance floor. Within a couple of beats, they were moving together to the music. Elizabeth beamed with delight as Luc spun her first one way, then the next. Allegra felt almost breathless just watching, the music pulsing through her body. It was like being in an underground world, one that felt a million miles away from the real one despite its proximity.
She felt a tap on her shoulder and looked up to see Etienne, a small glass in his hand. She reached for it and took a sip, the taste of something strong and sweet hitting her palate. She almost choked.
‘It’s rum punch,’ Etienne said in her ear. ‘It gets better after the first, I promise.’ He laughed and sat down beside her, watching the crowd move to the music. ‘Isn’t it amazing?’
Allegra leant towards him to speak into his ear. She could smell him, a dusky, sweet scent that felt both strange and familiar all at the same time. She closed her eyes for a moment, reminding herself that he was, still, a relative stranger. ‘I’ve never seen anything like it.’
‘Do you want to dance?’ He looked at her hopefully.
Allegra shook her head. ‘I don’t know how.’
He reached for her hand. ‘I’ll show you.’
She took another gulp of her drink and swallowed hard before taking his hand and following him to the dance floor. The band had just started playing a new song, this one more frantic than the last. The dancers seemed to move more quickly as one, the throws and spins of the couples more daring than before.
Allegra gripped on to Etienne’s hands as if her life depended on it. At first, she felt stiff and awkward but as Etienne guided her, holding on to one of hers and placing the other on her back to steady her, she began to relax. With each spin she grew a little braver and as the song built to its crashing last few bars, Allegra threw herself into the dance like never before. In one final move, Etienne caught her just as she felt she might lose her footing. They stood breathless as the crowd erupted in joyous applause. For a second their eyes locked, then Etienne pulled her body towards his.
‘I thought you said you couldn’t dance!’ He laughed, brushing her hair from her shoulder.
‘If it weren’t for you, I’d have gone through that wall,’ said Allegra, suddenly embarrassed.
Before they could catch their breath, another song started and the crowd moved to a new beat. This time, a saxophonist joined the band on stage much to the assembled crowd’s delight, playing like his life depended on it. On and on they danced, united in joy as the music pounded as fast as their hearts.
* * *
It was almost four o’clock in the morning by the time Allegra and Etienne emerged back out onto the street. Having tried – and failed – to find Elizabeth and Luc as the crowd on the dance floor began to thin out after the closing bars of the last song, they’d been among the last to leave the club. The cool air hit Allegra’s cheeks as she stood for a moment, adjusting to the quietness. It had obviously rained whilst they’d been inside, the road now dark and wet.
‘Here,’ said Etienne, putting his jacket around Allegra’s shoulders.
‘Thank you.’ She felt suddenly awkward, the gesture unexpectedly intimate.
‘I don’t know about you, but I don’t think I’m ready for my bed yet. How about we walk up through the park to La Dame de Fer?’
Much as Allegra didn’t want the night to end, she didn’t have the energy for more dancing. ‘I don’t think I can face another club.’
‘It’s not a club,’ Etienne laughed. ‘I mean the Eiffel Tower.’
Allegra looked nonplussed.
‘We call her the Iron Lady, La Dame de Fer.’
‘Ah, of course!’ Allegra sighed. ‘Yes, let’s.’
They started walking along the quiet street, sidestepping the puddles reflecting the lights of night-time Paris. After their closeness on the dance floor, his hands holding her body to his, Allegra thought it funny to be simply walking alongside him as if nothing had happened.
‘So, you didn’t answer my questions earlier when I asked about your life back home. Now you know me a bit better, can I ask you again?’ He looked at her in the half-light and put an unlit cigarette between his lips.
Allegra shrugged. ‘I guess. What do you want to know?’
‘How about why you don’t want to talk about it?’ He stopped to strike a match.
She looked at the cobbled stones beneath her feet. ‘It’s complicated.’
‘Try me,’ he said, his face momentarily illuminated by the small naked flame.
‘Long story short, I got kicked out of school. My parents didn’t know what to do with me. Or, rather, they didn’t want me embarrassing them any more than I already had, so they sent me over here to study for a year.’
‘Why did you get kicked out?’
‘I got caught skipping school.’
Etienne looked surprised. ‘That’s it?’
Allegra immediately felt foolish. When he put it like that, it did seem a little amateur. ‘I’d been cautioned a few times. Drinking in the park, that kind of thing.’
‘Didn’t you like school?’
‘Hated it.’
‘And will your parents come and see you whilst you’re here?’
‘I doubt it.’ She shrugged her shoulders, hoping she at least sounded more nonchalant than she felt.
‘Do you have any brothers or sisters?’
‘No, it’s just me. How about you?’
‘Two sisters, both older. So, it must be quite intense?’
Allegra laughed. ‘What do you mean?’ She wasn’t used to such intrusive questions.
‘I mean, just you and your parents. You know, you must have all the attention, all the time. My sisters and I used to constantly fight for our parents to notice us. Still do.’ He laughed.
‘I’ve never really thought about it like that but now you say it, it is a bit like that. Nothing I did was ever good enough. Maybe that’s what made me go the other way. If I disappointed them first, I could just get on with it. What about yours?’
‘The opposite really. I think I could do anything and they’d be, like, well it’s your life. I suspect they are hoping that I’ll go back to the farm one day, perhaps take over, but I’m not sure that’s what I want to do. We’ll see.’
‘The farm sounds so wonderful, though.’
‘It really is. Let’s go this way.’ He pointed up ahead. ‘Then we can walk through the park.’ Etienne led them down another side street before turning left onto a wide tree-lined avenue. There, up ahead and simply lit by spotlights on the ground, stood the famous Paris landmark.
Allegra gasped. ‘It’s magnificent.’
‘Shall we walk up? It’s not far, it’ll only take about ten minutes. But the view from right underneath is worth it.’
For a moment Allegra wondered how many other girls Etienne had walked through the park with at this impossibly romantic hour. The light was still flat but sunrise wasn’t far off.
‘If you’re thinking I do this a lot, you’re wrong.’ He looked down at her, his hair falling to his cheekbones.
‘Not at all,’ she said, hoping the expression on her face didn’t betray the fact that yet again he seemed to know exactly what she was thinking.
‘I mean, I do this a lot but on my own. Paris at this time of day is so quiet and the light on the river in the morning is just beautiful. I love it.’
They walked through the park, the trees on either side silent witnesses to their conversation.
‘So, what do you want to do?’ Etienne asked, not for the first time.
‘Now?’ Allegra replied playfully.
He gently nudged her arm with his elbow. ‘In life.’
‘I have no idea. Girls like me aren’t expected to do anything, really. Except marry someone rich and throw parties. That’s what my mother did. My parents aren’t interested in me actually doing something with my life other than being pretty.’ Allegra caught herself. ‘Oh God, I’m sorry. That sounds so conceited. It’s just that’s all that seems to matter to them.’
‘Well, for what it’s worth I think you are. But the only one who can determine what you do with your life is you, Allegra.’
‘It’s not as easy as that, believe me.’ She stopped walking and turned to look at him. ‘Why am I telling you all this? I don’t even know you and I’m pouring my heart out.’
‘Blame Paris.’ Etienne smiled.
‘Maybe it’s the rum punch.’
Etienne looked at his watch. ‘That was hours ago.’
Soon they neared the base of the mighty iron tower, the brownish red of the iron stark in the dawn light. Craning their necks, they stood right underneath and looked up through the structure.
‘It’s hard to believe anyone even had the idea to build such a thing,’ said Allegra.
‘You could say that about any art, really. But that’s the point. People do it to communicate an idea, a message, whatever you want to call it.’
‘Isn’t it just to have something nice to look at?’
‘Now you sound like you describe your mother. Don’t you want art to make you think? Perhaps even challenge your thinking? Some art is meant to provoke you.’
Allegra thought for a moment. ‘What else should I see whilst I’m here?’
Etienne grinned. ‘How long have you got? I could take you to a museum every week in this city for as long as you’re here and still we’ll have only seen a tiny bit.’
‘Let’s do it then.’
For a moment he didn’t reply and Allegra could have kicked herself. That had been way too forward, too presumptive.
He grinned and held out his hand for her to shake. Relieved, she took it. Etienne was clearly thrilled. ‘Once a week, we will go to a museum and I will show you something by a different artist each time. But you must promise me one thing.’
‘Go on.’
‘You have to tell me what each piece makes you feel.’
She screwed up her nose. ‘Really? What if I don’t feel anything?’
‘Then you explain why. No right or wrong answers but talking about it is the point of art. At least, I think it is.’
‘Fine, agreed. Now that we have a deal, I want you to promise me something.’
Etienne looked at her, his head to one side, one eyebrow raised. ‘Go on.’
‘Whatever happens between now and the time I go back to New York, please know this has been one of the best nights of my life. And I’m going to come here again on my birthday next year, which is the 14 May by the way, at exactly this time…’
Etienne glanced at his watch and laughed. ‘You mean five o’clock in the morning?’
Allegra squeezed his hand. ‘I’m being serious. I’m going to come and stand here at five o’clock in the morning on the day of my birthday, just to remind myself this really happened. I want you to be here too.’
He put his hand to her face. With his thumb, he gently wiped under her eye. She saw the black smear on his skin.
‘Oh no, my kohl. I must look a mess.’ Allegra laughed.
He nodded. ‘A very beautiful mess.’ He took her hand again. ‘Come with me, I want you to watch the sunrise from the best spot in Paris. It’s just over on the other side of the river.’
They walked on towards the Seine and crossed the wide bridge, the cool dark waters flowing below them. The cobbled streets were all but empty, with just a few cars passing as they walked the length of a long ornamental lake. Reaching the end, Etienne put his hands on her shoulders and turned her around to face the Eiffel Tower once more. Behind it on the horizon, the sun was starting to come up, throwing a warm orange glow over the landscape in front of them. The lake was still, reflecting the light as if it were a mirror.
Allegra sighed. ‘It’s magical.’
Etienne reached for her hand. ‘It’s Paris.’
* * *
She was woken by the sound of banging on her bedroom door from the girl in the room opposite.
‘What time is it?’ Allegra’s voice was husky, a result of the smoky club the night before.
‘It’s after two o’clock and you’ve got a visitor downstairs,’ said her neighbour before turning and going back into her room, slamming the door.
Walking slowly down in her dressing gown, Allegra was met by Elizabeth who insisted she throw on some clothes and come and fill her in on all the details of the night before.
Minutes later they sat at a small round table on the pavement at the café opposite Allegra’s building. Elizabeth ordered two coffees and Allegra, sunglasses firmly on, asked for a croissant.
‘What do you mean, he didn’t even try and kiss you?’ Elizabeth’s question drew glances from the couple at the next-door table.
Allegra looked embarrassed. ‘There were moments when I thought he might, but he didn’t.’
‘Wow, he must have it bad.’
‘What do you mean?’ Allegra picked up the warm croissant now in front of her and tore off the end, folding it carefully into her mouth.
‘Well,’ said Elizabeth, ‘it’s obvious he really likes you.’
‘Really?’ Allegra couldn’t help but smile. ‘How can you tell?’
‘For a start, he barely left your side and didn’t stop talking. He’s usually much quieter. And then…’ She paused. ‘There was the dancing.’
‘Surely he loves dancing!’ Allegra thought of Etienne spinning her with ease, turning her first one way, then the other. She remembered the feeling of his hand on her back and she shivered at the thought.
‘He usually stays at the table. He always says he loves the music but is happy to leave the dancing to others. Last night, I thought he might never stop.’ Elizabeth picked up her small coffee cup, blowing on it gently.
‘By the way, where did you two go? We looked for you everywhere at the end.’
Elizabeth took a long sip of her coffee and replaced the cup slowly. ‘I went back to Luc’s.’
Allegra tried not to show her surprise. ‘Oh, right. Do your parents know about Luc?’
‘You must be joking. They’d absolutely kill me. I had to climb back into our apartment through my bedroom window this morning.’
‘How old is he?’
‘Twenty-two. But that’s not the bit they’d worry about.’ She lowered her voice. ‘He’s a communist.’
Allegra raised her eyebrow. ‘Is that so bad?’
‘He’s one of the leaders of the biggest student protest groups.’
Allegra still couldn’t work out what Elizabeth was saying. ‘Sorry, I don’t get it.’
‘My parents are both lecturers at the university. They’d be furious if they knew I was hanging out with him. Honestly, I think I’d be on the next boat back to England.’
‘But… why is it so bad?’
‘They’d be sent home too if the board at the university ever found out I was fraternising with a communist.’
‘Really?’
‘Yes, really. It would be so frowned upon.’
‘Is it worth the risk?’ Allegra was wide eyed.
Elizabeth smiled. ‘Absolutely. I love him.’
‘Wow, okay.’ Allegra carefully peeled off another strip of croissant and held it between her long fingers. ‘Can I ask you a question?’
‘Sure.’
‘How do you know?’
‘That I’d be sent home?’
‘No, how do you know you love him.’
Elizabeth sat back and sighed. ‘I just know.’
‘But, like… what’s the feeling?’
‘You haven’t been in love before?’
Allegra shook her head. ‘Never.’
‘What about Etienne? Do you think you could fall in love with him?’
‘I’m not sure what to think. He had every opportunity to kiss me last night, but he didn’t.’ Allegra looked at the flaky pastry in her hand before putting it into her mouth. She chewed slowly, savouring the buttery taste.
‘Well, I happen to think he’s smitten.’
Allegra hoped her friend was right. She thought of the sunrise they’d watched together that morning, smiling to herself.
‘Looks like you’re already falling,’ said Elizabeth, reaching for the leftover flakes on Allegra’s plate.