Chapter 15 Xander
XANDER
“Hello? Snow?”
The call clicks and a soft thump rises through the speaker, then Snow’s voice drifts through, but it’s so faint I have to strain to hear her words.
“I just want my money…”
“Snow, I can’t hear you, what—”
“You want that money? All eight grand of it?”
There’s another voice.
One I don’t recognize, and what comes next makes my blood run cold.
Snow sounds scared and whoever she’s talking to is getting louder and louder while she’s growing faint.
“Doctor?” June stares up at me with wide eyes, holding the phone against my ear while water runs down my scrubbed hands and forearms.
“I—” My mind races.
Is Snow in trouble?
Has she called me for help?
Beyond the glass in front of me lies a patient ready and waiting for the care I need to provide, but all thoughts of surgery fly out of my mind at the sound of fear in Snow’s voice.
It cuts through me like a blade of ice and I stare down at June, frozen.
“Is everything alright?” June asks, drowning out the faint conversation coming from the call. “Should I get someone?”
“…Just how priceless is that thing between your legs?”
My stomach drops like a rock and I snatch my phone from June’s hand.
“Xander! You’ll have to scrub in again!” June gasps.
“Call Fred. He’s free, I know he is. He’ll do this surgery, but I have to go.” I’m out the door with June’s yells following me, but her words don’t breach this sudden panicked fog that descends over me as I sprint down the hallway.
I can trust Fred to take my surgery, not out of the goodness of his heart but because he’ll enjoy having me in his debt.
It’ll be worth it.
Snow called me for a reason and she needs help. I just have no clue where to look for her.
Reaching the locker room, I skid inside and crash right into Fred who catches me by the shoulders to keep himself up and stop me from falling.
As we collide, my phone slips from my fingers and crashes to the ground. The impact shocks my device and the call ends.
“Fuck!”
“Xander? Fucking hell, you alright?”
“No!” Shoving him out of the way, I lunge for my phone just as the screen goes dark.
A few swipes of my thumb bring it back to life but it’s too late. The call’s definitely ended. “Fuck.”
“Dude.” Fred moves to stand next to me, staring down at my crouched form. “The fuck?”
“I need you to take my surgery,” I say just as the pager on Fred’s hip lights up. “That’ll be June. Patient’s already on the table.” I glance up at him and watch as his arrogant smirk suddenly melts into something almost like concern. “Please.”
“Sure. Alright. You good?” Fred holds out his hand to help me up and I take it, letting him haul me back to my feet.
“Yeah, fine, I just… I gotta go. Thanks.”
“Yeah, sure.” Fred squints at me for a moment as if he’s going to say something else, then he releases my hand. “You owe me.”
“A huge one, I know.”
Fred leaves with a wink while I try to call Snow over and over again, but the call doesn’t connect.
Those last distant words swirl around my mind like a virus and my hands shake as I change out of my scrubs and into a T-shirt and track pants stuffed at the back of my locker.
How do I find her? How do I know where to look?
Mrs. Rye answers her phone when I’m in the elevator. “Xander! How lovely to hear from you—”
“Is Snow with you?” I bark, cutting her off.
“No, I left her at lunch maybe an hour ago. Is everything alright?”
“Did she say where she was going or what she was going to do for the rest of the day?” The elevator doors slide open and every single person that gets in my way as I weave through the crowd toward the hospital entrance amplifies the feverish itch crawling over my skin.
It’s like something inside me is about to burst out of my chest if I don’t get to Snow soon.
“No, she didn’t say anything. We talked a little about her situation and I gave her some advice but… unless she went to the address I gave her.”
“What address?” My sneakers slip on the ice outside and as I rebalance, a sudden gust of freezing wind cuts through me like a thousand ice shards have fallen from the sky.
I don’t have time to go back for my coat so I break into a sprint toward my car.
That’ll get my blood warm.
“There was a man that her ex sent the money to. I didn’t know much about him but I found his address. She might have gone there.”
“You let her go alone?”
“Xander, what’s wrong? Why wouldn’t I let her go alone? I told her to be careful but—”
“I just… Just give me the address, please. I think she’s in trouble.”
“Trouble? Oh, Xander.” Mrs. Rye reels off the address as I reach my car and wrench the door open. “Do you need me to call the police?”
“Maybe. I don’t know. I have to go.”
“Xander—”
I can’t think about that right now.
All I can think about is Snow and that horrible voice saying such disgusting things before the call ended.
It’s already been too long.
I don’t know exactly how long, but it’s a twenty-minute drive from the hospital to that address.
Not that I do.
Every agonizing second is a second where I don’t know what’s happening which leaves painful space for countless terrible scenarios to flood my mind.
Snow in danger.
Injured.
Lost.
Trapped somewhere with a monster I indirectly sent her to by getting Mrs. Rye onto her case.
I should have been clearer and told her not to act unless I was with her.
But what right do I have to ask that? She’s not my girlfriend.
She’s not my lover.
She’s not mine.
But if she were, I would have told her.
I should have told her anyway.
I should have been there for her.
The skin on my knuckles turns thin and white as I grip the steering wheel and weave through traffic with no thought to the laws I’m breaking or the speed I’m going.
The GPS beeps softly with each closing mile toward that address and yet it’s still too far away.
Why would she go somewhere dangerous by herself?
Maybe she didn’t know.
I hope she didn’t know.
Given everything going on with her, maybe it was inevitable she’d end up somewhere dangerous in a desperate bid to get her life back on track. Why didn’t I see that?
Why wasn’t I keeping a closer eye on her?
My car screeches and complains when I slam on the brakes seven minutes later and skid to a messy stop in front of the rundown apartment building.
I check the address again with a glance, then throw myself out of the car and sprint up an icy path toward a peeling red front door.
I don’t knock.
I leap up the two steps and throw my entire body at the door.
The hinges snap immediately, and both I and the door tumble into a dark hallway thick with smog from far too many cigarettes smoked daily.
As I thump to the floor with the door, a scream rises from nearby and my heart thumps up into my throat, forming a lump that hinders my gasp for air as I scramble to my feet.
“SNOW!”
My hands curl into fists, my body turns rigid, and anger licks at my muscles as I storm into the room where I heard the scream.
I can’t breathe and for a few hot seconds, the worst possible scenario enters my mind as I take in what’s happened inside.
My worst fear… has not come true.
Snow stands in the middle of the room, panting and clasping a table lamp against her chest.
Blood trickles down from her lower lip as she gasps and tears trail down her cheeks.
At her feet is a man, crumpled and groaning while clutching his head. “You bitch!” he yells. “You fucking psychopath!”
“Xander!” Snow gasps and a fresh wave of tears flood her eyes. “Oh, my God.”
“Are you alright?” I’m by her side in half a second, lightly clutching her elbow and scanning her face. “Did he hurt you? Are you alright?”
She gazes up at me, slightly dazed, and her lips part but no sound escapes.
“Her?” Croaks the man on the ground. “What about me? She fucking hit me with the lamp!”
“That’s the least you deserve, you scumbag,” I snarl, guiding Snow back a step and placing myself between her and his crumpled form. “You’re lucky I don’t do much worse.”
“The fuck, man!” The stranger whines and rolls over. “Ouch! Fucking bitch, get the hell out!”
“Snow?” Turning, I cup her face.
Her eyelashes flicker slightly as she registers my contact, then the lamp slips from her hands and hits the floor.
“I hit him,” she gasps hoarsely.
“I know. It’s okay.”
“I hit him.”
“Get out!” he screams. “Get the fuck out!”
“We’re leaving,” I snap, glaring back at him. “And if I see your face again, you’ll wish she’d killed you with that lamp, understand?”
“What the fuck?” The man slowly stumbles to his feet, but other than a lump on his head, he seems fine. “She came to me! This is my house! You son of a…” At his full height, he’s a head shorter than me and much thinner.
His threats die even as he tries to size himself up to match me, but he fails. “Whatever. Get out.”
“Come on, Snow. Come with me.”
Her eyes haven’t left mine and she nods slowly, then she finally looks past me to the stranger. “I’m sorry.”
“Out!”
Half an hour later, Snow sits on the kitchen counter of my apartment with her hands clasped around a steaming mug of hot, sweet tea.
I stand between her parted legs, focused on a piece of cotton as I soak it in antiseptic.
“This is going to sting,” I say softly. “But it’ll be okay.”
“Okay.” Snow nods. “It’s fine.”
Despite her reassurances, guilt warms my gut as she flinches when I clean the split on her lower lip.
Knowing she was bleeding and hasn’t had her test results back is alarming, and my concern for her clashes with anger at her actions.
“How could you be so reckless, Snow?”
“Huh?” She turns puppy eyes up to me. “What do you mean?”
“You went to a stranger’s house and didn’t tell anyone where you were going.
A man who hurt you. Do you have any idea how worried I was?
To get your call when I was in the middle of surgery and to hear the disgusting things he was saying about you?
I was scared, Snow. Scared I’d get there and find you chopped to little bits or worse. ”
“But I’m fine.”
“By some stroke of luck.” It’s difficult to keep my voice level. “This was beyond reckless.”
“I just wanted to talk to him. Caleb sent him my money and I wanted it back.”
“Who was he?”
“Dickson.” She looks away, unable to meet my eyes. “He’s a loan shark.”
“A loan shark? Snow… One look at that place and you should have known it was a bad idea. How could you be so reckless? And in your condition.”
“My condition?” She jerks her head away from me.
“You’re bleeding, Snow. Didn’t you consider that before approaching someone who could hurt you? If your blood got on him and he had any cuts or anything, he’ll need to get tested, don’t you understand that?”
“I do!” Snow insists and she sets her cup aside. “I didn’t think it would go like that. I didn’t even know it was him until I arrived.”
“Why did you go in the first place?”
“Because I’m trying to get my money back!”
“By yourself?”
“I am by myself!”
“No, Snow!” Try as I do not to yell, it escapes me like an uncontrollable urge and I slam my hand down on the counter.
“You’re not alone, Snow. And putting yourself in a dangerous situation like that with no help, and no one knowing where you were…
Don't you understand how scared I was? I heard him… all those disgusting things, and all I could think was that I would find you and I would be too late to save you.”
“Xander…” Snow reaches forward and lays one warm, soft hand on my forearm just above my surgical glove. “I was handling it.”
“Were you?”
“I was. I won’t say I wasn’t scared because yeah, I was, but I… I dealt with it. I just didn’t think he would make me bleed.”
“Maybe this is my fault,” I say, shaking my head as I turn away from her and search out a dissolvable stitch in my kit.
“How did you even come to that conclusion?” Snow asks in disbelief.
Turning back to her, I focus on preparing the stitch.
“I was reckless with you. I was reckless in handling contact with you after you got stuck by the needle. Being unable to control myself and giving in to sex with you hardly highlights how important it is for you to have minimal contact with people until your results come back.”
As I reach up with the stitch, her lower lip wobbles and tears spill down her cheeks as she glares at me.
“Don’t,” she croaks. “Don’t you dare take that from me. Don’t you dare!”