Chapter 21 Xander
XANDER
Bag? Check. Food? Check. Enough blankets to create a triple-layered fort? Check.
Days off as a surgeon are rare and I have a million and one things I should catch up on.
But all I want to do is spend time with Snow.
She didn’t seem herself a couple of days ago after spending hours cleaning her apartment, and with limited time to comfort her, I’ve carved out most of my day off just for her.
I head to the hospital a little after midday since Snow has a half day, but rather than going up to meet her, I wait in my car and call her once I’m sure her shift is over.
“Hii!” Snow’s warm tones send a wave of comfort through me and I press slightly back into my seat with a satisfied sigh.
“Snow.”
“Are you calling to cancel?”
“I would cancel to your face because I would want to see you before going to work.”
“Aw, how sweet.”
“I’m calling to let you know I’m outside waiting for you. I’m taking you on a picnic.”
“A picnic? In December?”
“Do you trust me?”
“Mhm.”
“Then yes, we’re going on a picnic.”
“Okay, that sounds fun! Although wait, what if someone sees me getting into your car?”
While there’d be nothing strictly suspicious about that, the less that garners attention, the better.
“You’re right, darling. Meet me two blocks away just down from that bakery where Jen gets those pastries.”
“Oh, okay, see you soon!”
Snow hangs up, but rather than immediately driving to the designated meeting spot, I wait and watch the hospital entrance.
I could leave but at the same time, I’ve waited all morning for a glimpse of her and there’s a subtle rise of anxiety within me fueled by a desperation to see her.
I glimpse Snow five minutes later as she hurries out of the hospital entrance with a thick scarf wound around her neck and her coat buttoned firmly.
Beautiful.
Waiting until she’s out of sight, I drive and take a slight detour to our meeting spot to give her time to walk there.
It only takes a few minutes but I spot her instantly when I pull onto the street.
She stands by the corner with her hands deep in her coat and the light wind carrying strands of her hair with it.
Pulling up alongside her, she reaches for the car door, but I keep it locked and climb out.
“Xander?”
Meeting her gaze, I hold it as I walk around my car.
Snow crunches underfoot and subtle bits of ice threaten to topple me, but Snow’s curious gaze anchors me until I’m beside her.
Then I open the door.
Snow laughs. “Such a gentleman.”
“Remember that when I’m fucking you later,” I whisper, burying my words into her hair.
The flush on her cheeks remains by the time I climb into the car and she fixes me with a faintly narrowed look.
“You really just threw that out there?”
“I did,” I say, pulling away from the curb. “Unless you’d prefer we do something else?”
She presses her knees together while unthreading her scarf from around her neck. “Oh, I’m game. If you think you can handle me.”
My smile rises and remains all the way to my planned picnic destination.
On the outskirts of the town are several rundown, abandoned farm buildings, remnants of a time when this town was little more than open land for animal raising and crops.
No one’s lived on these farms for decades, yet they’ve become a staple landmark, often housing festivals in the summer and hired out for parties and dances.
I haven’t been here in years but as we drive down the winding lane between clusters of trees and bushes, my destination springs upward.
Large, untouched fields stretch out right to the edge of the lake miles away in the distance.
Each one is a perfect patchwork of pristine white snow, broken up by the remaining fences and hedges that divide the fields into individual sections.
Parking near the gate of one, I climb out of the car and extend my hand to Snow in order to help her out.
“Wow,” she gasps, gazing around while taking a few steps toward the fence. “This is… It’s beautiful.”
“I thought you would like it.” Sweeping the blankets and basket out from the back seat, I drape them over one arm and hold out my other hand for hers. “It’s our own private wonderland.”
“I haven’t been out this way since I was a kid.” Her cold hand slips into mine and I grip firmly, then lead the way down the footpath and through a gap in the fence.
Crisp snow crunches pleasantly underfoot, a pale blue sky stretches infinitely above us, and the ice-cold wind gradually fades until the world around us is as still as the snowy ground.
I pass the basket to Snow and she holds onto it with both hands, watching as I spread the first heated blanket down onto the snow.
Two more blankets are piled on top, then I spread out the picnic blanket and encourage Snow to sit.
She does after kicking off her boots and she makes a pleased noise as she sits. “Oh, wow, how is this warm?”
“It’s a heated blanket, like a hot pack but bigger.”
“It’s amazing!” She shrugs off her coat, and I drape the last two blankets over her shoulders.
After removing my own shoes, I join her on the picnic blankets and wrap the other blankets firmly around us to trap the heat and chase away the cold.
“You know…” Snow looks at me and tilts her head. “When you suggested a picnic, I kind of thought you were crazy.”
“But you came anyway.”
“I did.”
“Thank you.”
She squints at me, then she leans in and presses a sweet kiss to my cheek. “Don’t thank me, dummy.”
“Why not?”
“That makes it sound like I’m here as some kind of favor. I’m here because I want to be.”
My hands pause on the picnic basket and a small smile creeps up. “I have never thought about it that way before.”
“See? We’re perfect for each other.” Snow laughs and leans over my arm. “What did you bring?”
I lay out the carefully prepared, although mostly purchased, food—sandwiches, cakes, crackers, and cheese, several dips, and a selection of meats, followed by some cakes.
“Wow,” Snow murmurs. “This puts my Thanksgiving spread to shame.”
“It does, doesn’t it?”
She rolls her eyes and picks up a small cherry tomato, popping it into her mouth. “You’re just lucky because you get the Christmas stuff.”
“Not a fan?” I choose some cheese and crackers first.
“Of Christmas? No, I like Christmas. Love it, actually.”
“With a name like Snow, no wonder.”
“Contrary to popular belief, I’m not named after the season or the weather.” She leans into me as she talks, picking lightly at the food.
My arm slides around her waist, pulling her snug against me under the blankets. “Then what are you named after?”
“My parents met at this concert for an Indie band and fell in love. And then they loved that band so much that they followed them all over the world on tour and fell in love with Spain, which is where they are now. Anyway, they had a song called Noelle and that’s what my parents named me.
But as a kid, I couldn’t say it so I would just say Noel which turned into Snoel because my allergies as a child were insane.
And that sort of became Snow because it was easier for me to say, so the name stuck. ”
Listening to her talk while we’re in our own bubble is the most wonderful thing.
The scenery is beautiful, her voice is warm and delicate, and the food is delicious.
There’s nowhere I’d rather be.
“That’s adorable.” I smile down at her. “Little Noelle became little Snow.”
Her elbow presses lightly into my abdomen. “Yeah, yeah.”
“And your parents are still in Spain?”
“Mhm. They live there now. Have for years, with my brother. That’s where I was saving up to visit.” She sighs and grumbles around a pastry. “Not that I’ll be seeing them anytime soon.”
“Can they not come and see you?”
Snow rolls her eyes. “They weren’t exactly heartbroken when I told them I couldn’t visit, so no, I don’t imagine they will.”
My arm tightens around her waist. “I’m sorry.”
She shrugs. “It’s fine. Family. Will your sister be back for Christmas?”
I gaze out across the field, where it dips down and merges with the icy lake on the horizon. “She wants me to visit her.”
“You don’t want to go?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
My tongue runs over my teeth and I close my eyes, thinking back to the last trip I took.
Snow shifts against me and when I open my eyes, she’s staring right at me with a slight frown.
“It’s a long story.”
“I have time.”
Pressing my lips together, any doubt I have about sharing melts away when Snow leans back into me.
“I was married once. Claire. She was… vibrant and exciting, and she was always on me to keep connected to my sister. So one year, she bought me tickets for a trip to Canada, and I went while she stayed.”
Snow’s frown deepens.
“When I came back, she was sick in hospital from a viral infection she’d picked up from a night out with her girlfriends at some underground club. She took a risk and… she went into heart failure and died. I got back just in time to watch her die.”
Snow is silent, studying me with soft eyes.
“That was… over five years ago now, but I haven’t gotten on a plane ever since.”
“Because you’re scared that when you do, your sister will be in similar shape when you land?” Snow asks softly.
Our eyes meet as my heart flutters faintly. “Yeah… exactly.”
“I’m so sorry, Xander. I had no idea. People… used to talk a little about your wife, but I never knew how things ended. That must have been awful for you.” Her brows twitch. “That’s what you meant the day you told me you understood how much it hurts to lose someone.”
I nod slowly and my palm flattens against her abdomen. “Yes.”
“And now you have three cats.”
“And an elderly neighbor who I think the cats love more than me. I think they even love you more than me.”
“I have that charm.” Snow chuckles.
I’ve not spoken about Claire so openly in years, and telling Snow didn’t strike me as the right thing to do.
Our relationship is so fresh and undefined that mentioning marriage would surely scare her away.
But she seems fine.
If anything, she’s leaning closer to me and one of her hands rests on my thigh, massaging back and forth.
“Have you never had a pet?”
Snow shakes her head as she eats, then she shifts to face me.
“My parents were allergic, and can you imagine a pet with Caleb?” Her eyes roll.
“No one deserves that. I never thought of myself as an animal person. I love them from a distance but not something I could care for, y’know? But I like your cats.”
“Oh, I don’t know,” I say, pushing one of the containers aside and leaning closer. “I think you’re a very caring person.”
“Mr. Xander, are you just saying that because you want in my pants?” Her smile turns coy and her free hand clutches at her chest.
“You said I was a gentleman. Do you really think I would do that?”
Her head tilts and a few strands of hair fall in front of her face.
Reaching up, I gently brush them aside and tuck them behind her inflamed ear.
As coy as she plays, her flushing ears seem to be the key.
“I don’t know. You did tell me we were going to have fun, and yet I’m feeling decidedly not fucked right now.”
My palm flattens against her cheek, then slides down to cradle the side of her neck while my thumb presses up under her jaw to keep her head tilted.
As I lean in close, she moves her hand from her chest to mine.
“How about I change that, then?” I say, claiming her lips in a deep kiss through which I pour every desire I have for her.
My lust, my growing love, my thankfulness at her gentility and understanding.
I’m going to fuck her until I have to carry her to the car.