Maddox #2
I sit on the stool, settling in for eight long hours of ensuring the citizens of the southside stay so fucked up they forget how shitty their lives are.
‘Lucky bastards,’ I think with a shrug, as I respond, “Seems like somethin’ Dad would do.
” The sarcasm dripping off of the word ‘dad’, because that man was no dad to me.
Ollie shook his head, “I’m out. See ya later. But, uh, we should…ya know, catch up soon, or somethin’,” he says, sounding nervous.
I rolled my eyes, confused at this, “Sure, let's grab coffee or somethin’,” I say, slightly sarcastic.
He smiles his big, dopey grin, “Hell yeah, let me know.”
I close my eyes, nope he missed it, shaking my head as he leaves.
Rolling my eyes at whatever the fuck that was, I pull my phone out and pop in an earbud.
I’m finally braving listening to the voice mails Kai left on my phone while I was locked up.
His voice is so smooth in message after message.
There’s not much to them, just him talking about his day.
A soft smile makes its way over my face as I realize that he basically used my mail box as a diary.
After dozens of voicemails, he switched to text messages throughout the day.
My mail box must’ve been full because the text messages throughout the day had gotten longer.
Deciding that was enough of reminding myself of Kai for the day, I shake my head, switching over to music to distract me from my wandering thoughts.
While the music pounds through my earbud, I take to looking at all the pictures he had sent before that last awful one.
As I scroll through the photos, I realize that he really was just trying to stay connected, and he made sure I wasn’t forgotten by sending pictures of sunrises from his morning runs, random things that reminded him of me, pictures of him and Melody smiling and joking around.
Glimpses of the time I missed scattered across my phone screen.
‘Fuck, I want this back,’ I think, my eyes catching sight of the tattoo on my hand.
The simple pair of dice hold so much meaning to me, but mean nothing to anyone who doesn’t know what’s behind the three dots.
I run my finger lightly over the three dots, a habit I started doing at night in juvie as a way to feel close after I pushed him so far away.
Sighing, and in need of a distraction, I pocket my phone, and decide to start putting away some of the stock that was left around from Ollie’s shift. The repetitive movements doing nothing to stop my mind from wandering.
‘Could we really try this again? I want to believe him. But I don’t know the truth,.
’ I think as I break down the last box and look down at my watch.
It’s past 11 and Mack should be here any minute.
My back is to the door while I get my stuff together so I can leave as soon as he walks in, when I hear the bell ring out signaling someone has come in.
“Be right with you.” I call, dropping the water bottle in my hands back into my bag. Turning around, I come to a full stop. The sight in front of me is crazy. I’m looking at an older version of Anton and I'm pretty sure that’s the same guy I saw at the PO’s office the other day.
I cautiously walk towards him, “Can I help you?” I ask, knowing the answer is gonna come with a hint of an accent.
“Where is Mack?” he asks. And there it is, that expected hint of an accent.
“Not here,” I answer. ‘It’s a good question though. Where the fuck is he?’ Looking at my watch I realize, ‘He’s late again. It’s only like ten after 11, but since he’s late, it’s probably gonna be a bit longer before he gets here,’ I think as I sit on the stool with a sigh, eyeing the mystery guy.
He looks around, sucking on his teeth, “And you are?” he asks, staring me down now.
“Well considerin’ that you’re from the seem'-yá and that I’m 99% sure you were followin’ me the other day, I’m gonna take a wild guess and say that you know who I am,” I say, a false confidence lacing my voice.
But on the inside? I’m freaking the fuck out. ‘Mack won’t get the chance to kill me,’ I think, ‘someone tell Kai I love him, I’m gonna die, this guy’s gonna stab me right here.’
The guy chuckles, “Good eye, kid. You are right, Maddox, I do know who you are. I am Zak, the overseer of this establishment and Anton’s father,” he explains, before continuing, “Has Mack been late before?” As he asks this he walks over to the cooler and grabs a tall boy of ‘Bavik’, one of the few Russian beers you can get in the U.S.
I shrug, “Only my second day workin’, but he was late last night,” I answer. “You two look a lot alike. You and Anton, I mean. He doin’ okay?” I ask, making small talk. He doesn’t get to answer as the bell on the door rings again.
Looking towards the door, Zak and I watch as Mack casually walks in, before catching sight of Zak and he freezes. ‘Interestin’,’ I think, glancing back to see Zak’s expression has changed from pleasant to pissed. I go completely still, trying to become invisible as Zak strides towards him.
“You’re late, Durak,” he snaps out, as he gets into Mack’s personal space.
Mack stammers, looking in my direction. His face turns red in anger as he starts to walk towards me.
I ready myself to move, but stop, watching in disbelief as Zak places himself between me and Mack.
“I wouldn’t do that. You were told and have been warned.
Don’t make me tell Vanya you are not being a good boy,” he says, completely calm in his threat.
‘Vanya?’ I think, watching Mack stop in his tracks and radiate absolute fury as he turns different shades of red and his breathing gets heavier. ‘I am so fucked the next time he gets me alone.’
Taking one more deep breath he turns his attention to Zak, “I won’t let it happen again.” he says.
I sneakily grab my phone and my bag and move slowly towards the door, not wanting to be anywhere near this place when Zak leaves. As I place my hand on the door to leave, Zak speaks, “Good to meet you officially, Maddox. We talk soon.”
“Lookin’ forward to it. Nice to meet you too, Zak,” I say quickly, turning and continuing with my get away.
I speedwalk until I round the corner and then I pause, pulling my phone out to shoot a quick text to Mel.
Letting her know I’m going out, I hesitate for a moment before I give in and send one more.
Asshole: U Up?
I start slowly walking towards Kai’s house while waiting for a response.
Kicking an empty can, I listen to the metallic clink-clink-clink sound as it rolls down the sidewalk.
The wind blows by every once in a while, a crinkling sound coming from a plastic bag caught in the wind gust. Apart from these few sounds the city is quiet, too quiet for the southside if you ask me.
I wish I had grabbed my headphones for the walk, but I left in a rush, I’ll just have to remember them for next time.
There was a shift in me tonight as I watched Zak talking to Mack like he did, and with how Mack didn’t say a word back. There is so much more to that, and yet, for tonight, I don’t care about any of that. That’s a tomorrow problem. Tonight is about him, about getting my Kitten back into my arms.
I hear a ding from my hand and check my phone, seeing his name on my screen, I smile.
Whore: Yeah, why?
Smirking at his attempt at being non-chalant, I think, ‘He seems to forget that I know him. I’d love to see his face when he sees this,’ I think as I type out my response.
Asshole: Can I swing through?
Hitting send, my thoughts drift back to this Zak guy, who looks a lot like Anton, and was pretty adamant that Mack needs to fall in line with some plan. Between this, the russian he would mumble, the bruises…
‘BLYAD,’ I think, cutting myself off from thinking about any of that, they’re just making my head hurt. ‘I need a distraction from all this bullshit tonight.’ I chuckle at myself for thinking cuss words in Russian.
Anton didn’t teach me a lot, just a few important phrases to use when I was dealing with Mack. I reached the corner of his street, I could see his house from here and still had no answer from him. I stopped, unsure if I was welcome, waiting.
Maybe I was overly confident. Maybe he really didn’t want to see me.
But the vision of him in his running shorts came back to mind and I stayed.
I want to see him again, need to see him again.
So I lit another cigarette, holding my phone in my hand while I waited, telling myself, ‘two more minutes and if there’s no answer, go home, let him go. ’
My phone went off just as I dropped the cigarette, grinding it out with my boot. Checking the text, I grumbled, ‘He doesn’t want to see me.’
Whore: Why?
Kai
I regretted sending the ‘why?’ as soon as I did. I was so curious about why he wanted to come by, he said it was over, it was goodbye, but I was so pissed about everything that had happened.
‘I’m not gonna be anyone’s play thing. I want to see him, hell, taste him again, once was not enough. And there is so much more I need to say.’ My phone beeped with a new message, pulling me from my thoughts.
Asshole: Forget it
‘Fuck, fuck, fuck. This is the exact opposite of what I want.’ I think, fiddling with the phone in my hand for a second. Thinking quickly, I decided to try playing our usual game, ‘I’m not givin’ up this chance.’ I think, climbing out of the van I leaned against it and quickly sent another message.
Whore: Fine.
‘What could he possibly want?’ I think as I wait for a response. Unable to stand still anymore, I pace the yard. I’m halfway through my third cigarette when I hear a noise from across the yard. Looking towards the sound I see him coming around the house.