Maddox #3
The dim glowing light from the porch surrounds him, allowing just enough visibility to see him.
Seeing me, he comes to a stop, an unsure look on his face.
We stand feet apart, staring at each other.
It’s unreal to see him standing there, in a place he hasn’t been in over a year.
A place I never thought I’d see him again.
I flick the cigarette away as I stalk towards him.
I don’t know if I want to punch him for all the pain of the last nine months or take him into my arms from missing him so much for the past eighteen.
Conflicted with my feelings as I walk towards him, he all but makes the decision for me when he opens his mouth.
A shy look and a smirk slides across his face as “Hey, Kitten,” rolls off his tongue.
At the use of that name I freeze and rage fills my eyes, “NO! You don’t get to waltz in here and call me that.
You made it clear months ago that it was over.
So, don’t! Don’t you dare!” I say through gritted teeth.
Anger and pain radiate every fiber of my being and even I catch the hitch in my voice.
‘If I’m not careful, I’m gonna reveal more than I want to right now,’ I think, glaring at him.
He drops his head, shuffling his feet, he looks back at me from under his eyelashes. Sniffling he thumbs at his nose, “You think you were the only one I destroyed nine months ago?” Dax asks, chewing on his thumbnail.
I turn away from him, hiding the emotion in my eyes. I huff in disbelief, shaking my head, I look back at him. “What are you even talkin’ about? Who else could you have destroyed that night?”
Maddox
As he asks that question I have second thoughts about being here. He’s gonna want answers that I’m not sure I’m ready to give him. Even with how much I want him, with those three words on the tip of my tongue, I’m not ready to tip my hand.
I take two steps towards him and he puts his hand out to stop me from getting closer. I push forward, shoving his arm out of the way. I want him in my arms but he steps back just out of my reach again. “Kitten, c’mere,” I say softly, pleading with my eyes.
He doesn’t move, so I stay rooted in place, crooking my finger, beckoning him to come closer.
I watch him fighting himself, shaking his head as he wraps his arms around himself, “Please, don’t, I can’t.
” He looks away, blinking rapidly, he avoids looking at me as he mumbles, “Who, Dax? Who else did you destroy that night?”
“Think about it Kai, who else could I destroy? You’re so smart, you tell me who,” I say, biting my lip. I know I’m being a coward pushing him to figure out the answer himself rather than telling him.
He cracks his neck and shakes his body loose. “Fuck you! You asked to come over, why? Why are you here? You tell me! You owe me that much.” He’s practically screaming at me now, this volume comes with a huskiness I’ve never heard from him before.
“You wanna know why I’m here? You need to be told who else I destroyed?” I look away, scratching my brow with my thumb, glancing back at him, I get caught in those wide green eyes, eyes filled with anger and pain. Something I never wanted to see there. Sighing, I give in.
“Fine! It was me, Jackass. I destroyed myself that night too. I never wanted this.”
Kai
‘He destroyed himself? Never wanted this? There better be more to that because fuck if I’m not confused right now. I want him, but at what cost? I need more than just this. I need to know,’ I shake my head.
“The fuck you talkin’ ‘bout? You never wanted what? Destroyed yourself? What the fuck are you on? You texted me, you asked to come over. So tell me what you want!” I snap out question after question, not giving him time to answer anything. I’m reaching my breaking point.
Instead of answering, he tries again, “Kitten, please, c’mere. Please?” he whispers, begging me to come to him.
Looking at him standing there with his arms open, so close, but so far away. I could easily close the gap, give in, and just let it be what it is. ‘I want it so bad, but I deserve more,’ I think to myself, shaking my head.
Shifting my eyes to his face, I see him close his eyes and take a deep breath as he turns away from me. He glances back over his shoulder and says, “You’re right, I shouldn’ta texted. I’ll go.”
He turns again to leave and I have about three seconds to make a decision.
‘Fuck it!’ I think. It feels like I move in slow motion as I reach for him, wrapping my arms around him from behind.
I pull him back into me and kiss his temple and whisper into his ear, “We do this, I’m not givin’ you up this time, so you better be sure. ”
Dax twists in my arms so that he’s facing me, wraps his arms around my shoulders, linking his hands behind my neck. “Darlin’, I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t sure,” he whispers back as he slides a hand down to cup my cheek.
He barely gets the words out before my lips crash into his.
I want to own him, I start with the kiss, pulling him into me, gripping him tight, trying to devour him whole.
I feel him go up on his tiptoes, sliding his leg up and around my hip.
Feeling his arousal, I deepen the kiss as I hook my hands under his ass to give him a boost. ‘If he wants to climb me like a tree, how can I not assist?’
Feeling himself be lifted from the ground, Maddox gasps and pulls back eyes wide as the realization that I’m holding him in the air hits him.
Seeing the look of shock, I smirk, giving him a wink and motion for him to get back to kissing me.
He licks his lips and dives back in as I move to walk the short distance to the van.
I feel him fist the back of my t-shirt, tightening his hold on me.
Reaching the van, I push his back against it, pinning him in place, allowing me to run one of my hands up his side and wrap around the back of his neck.
He shivers as I lean in and run my nose along the vein in his throat, his body jerking against the van, hips grinding into mine.
I loosen my hold as I feel him shifting in my arms, his legs slide from my hips, down my thighs.
With his feet firmly on the ground, I feel his hands slide from behind my neck to my chest, grazing lightly over my nipples on the way to my hips.
I lean in again, resting my forearm on the van when I hear a whispered “Hot.”
I giggle, covering my mouth in surprise, ‘since when do I giggle?’ eyes widening at my reaction. Lowering my head to rest our foreheads together I nuzzle my nose to his, “What’s hot, Baby?”
“Fuck! You heard that?” Dax asks, dropping his eyes and cheeks pinking up as he plays with the hairs on the back of my neck.
Nudging his head up with my nose, I wink, “I’ll man-handle you anytime you want, Khayos.”
He playfully pushes me away but quickly grabs my shirt, pulling me back into him, “Two can play that game. Careful there, Kitten. But we are burning what little time I have. We need to talk.”
I scrunch my nose, “Who are you? Are you bein’ held captive…is this your signal for help? You wanna talk?” I ask, confused.
He closes his eyes and shakes his head, “I’m fine, and yes, Kitten, I wanna talk. We need to.” He says softly brushing my jaw line with his thumb.
I sigh and grumble, “Fine, we can talk, I guess.”
Dax pulls me in for one more quick kiss, “You’re sexy when you’re grumbly.” he chuckles, pulling away before I can deepen the kiss again, he turns quickly to open the van door.
Maddox
I watch him blush as he opens the van door, holding it for me to climb in first. I crawl in quickly, flipping around so that I can watch as he closes the door.
I shift around to get comfortable, once I’m settled, I see Kai nervously fidgeting by the door.
Smirking, I spread my legs and point to the spot between them.
He looks at where I’m pointing and shakes his head. Rolling my eyes, I grab his hand and pull him to me, wrapping my arms around him. He leans into me and I feel his weight shift against my chest. Kissing the top of his head, I sigh, whispering, “I missed this.”
Kai nods against me, moving slightly to light us a cigarette. “So?” he says, taking a hit, “Where do you wanna start?” he asks, exhaling as he passes it to me.
Taking a long drag, exhaling slowly I look up at the ceiling of the van. “I guess I should go first,” I say as I feel his fingers lightly tracing over the tattoo. He looks up at me, questions in his eyes, but trying to wait patiently.
Shifting my hand to his eyeline, he tangles our fingers together as I begin talking, “I had my cell mate do this the night that we spoke on the phone. The five dots represent me in juvie. The three dots are for you,” I say, a small smile on my lips as I feel him drop a kiss to my hand over his die.
With a shaky voice, I continue, “I was devastated the night that I had to push you away. I had no way of keeping you safe and the only thing I could think to do was piss you off so much that you walked away.”
“Hey…” Kai started speaking.
I tugged his hair so he would look up at me, “Kitten, tell me honestly if I hadn’t pushed would you have stopped? Honestly?”
It was adorable how he looked like a little kid with his face scrunched, “No. But you didn’t have to be so mean,” he said as he stuck his tongue out at me.
I snickered and kissed his forehead, “Now, don’t you have somethin’ to explain?”
I feel him shake his head ‘no’ as he shifts around to burrow into my chest. ‘God, he’s adorable when he’s tired.’
I tugged his hair again, “Out with it, Kotenok,” I say with a little bit of gravel in my voice. I feel him shiver in my arms.
“Kotenok?” he questions, eyebrows shooting up his forehead in confusion.
Sucking my teeth, I stare at him until he huffs, “Fine, it was all an act. You hurt me so bad that I had to make sure you knew how it felt. I got some nice gifts, didn’t have to do homework for a bit, but I never really did too much with any of them. ”
I lick my teeth, he sees my hand clench, “Define too much.”
“I let a couple of ‘em blow me, but,” he pauses, chewing on his lip, “but after a while I didn’t even want that. I never fucked or even kissed any of ‘em. They weren’t who I wanted, they weren’t you.” I felt him twist in my lap so we could look at each other.
Sitting up so he could cup my face with those massive hands, “It was always and will always be you,” Kai says, so fierce in his declaration that I swear I can see the words he’s holding back. “If we do this, I’m not lettin’ you go again. I will fight for us.”
He’s staring into my eyes as he finishes speaking.
I stared back, searching them and finding them full of passion and fire.
I press my lips to his, his mouth opens to deepen the kiss.
I cup the side of his face as his hand finds the nape of my neck, his fingers sliding into my hair gripping, holding me in place.
Coming up for air, forehead to forehead, “It’s Kitten and Khayos now and always, Darlin’,” I whisper.
We settle back together, my arms wrapped around him. In the silence, this is enough, this is where he belongs, this is home. After a while I hear his rhythmic breathing.
‘He fell asleep,’ I think, smiling as I reach for my phone to check the time.
‘God, I missed him,’ I think, softly running my fingers through his curls. He mewls softly, snuggling closer. I snort, ‘Hell, now he actually sounds like a kitten. I hate to have to do this, but I gotta get home before Mack.’ I sigh as I softly nudge him awake.
Blinking sleepily as he wakes up, he sees the look on my face and his eyes widen, “Please don’t go,” he pleads in a soft sleepy voice.
“Trust me, don’t wanna, but I hafta. Smoke with me before I go?” I ask him, leaning in for a kiss while reaching for the cigarettes beside me. We smoke in silence as I pull on my shoes.
As I hand him the last bit, “I’ll be back tonight, nothin’ will keep me from you.
Have a good day at school,” I say, kissing him one more time, eyes slipping closed as I savor the feel of his lips on mine once again.
I pull back, scritching the top of his head before I leave.
‘If I don’t go now, I won’t go at all,’ I think as I hurry out of the van.
Reaching the sidewalk in front of the Sullivan’s house, I see the sun starting to peek above the clouds and take off in a full run. I sneak into the house just as Nicky comes out of the kitchen with a cup of coffee. Nicky shakes his head and cocks an eyebrow at me.
‘Fuck. I have to remember to leave earlier. I forgot that Nicky replaces Mack,’ I think, flipping him off as I head for my room to crash for a few hours before work.
I drift off to sleep smiling, ‘I have my Kitten back,’ I think, feeling like nothing can bring my mood down.