31. Lizzie
31
LIZZIE
A week after I brought up the old library space downtown, Cameron finally agrees to go see it. I don’t want to be pushy about it, but I can’t stop thinking that it will be the perfect space for what he and Wyatt have in mind, and I don’t want them to miss out on it.
But I keep telling myself to step back because what I might think is encouragement could actually be coming off as obnoxious and forceful. And while he seems to be on board with doing this, especially after his last chat with Wyatt, I feel that Cameron needs to make his own decisions. I’m here for support and encouragement.
Unfortunately, Wyatt couldn’t fly in since he had some press thing to shoot for the team, so we video called. I could see Cameron’s face light up when we saw the place, and even Wyatt was impressed with what he could see through the phone screen. It seemed perfect.
Cameron asked all the right questions, even though sometimes it seemed like he was trying to find faults wherever he could. He asked about water damage in the ceiling, how long ago they updated the electrical, and how much keeping this place cool usually costs during the summer.
I don’t blame him for being skeptical and hesitant with such a big undertaking, but it almost feels like he’s purposefully looking for ways that it won’t work. But, again, I remind myself to back off because this isn’t my dream—it’s Cameron’s. As much as I want to help foster it, it’s not my place to push.
After saying goodbye to the realtor, we jump in his truck, and I’m met with complete silence. I know he’s thinking hard over there, so I stay quiet. He needs to be the one to reach out to me.
When we make it home, I’m half convinced he needs some space to work stuff out.
“When are you picking the girls up from Nikki’s?” I ask as we’re climbing out of the truck.
“An hour,” he responds tersely, walking around to my side.
“Okay, well, do you still want me to come over for dinner tonight or take a rain check?” I want to give him an out for tonight. We’ve been spending so much time together that I haven’t really stopped to think that I might be infringing on his dad moments with Addy and Mackenzie.
“Huh?” The confused look on Cameron’s face when he asks this makes me want to reach out and hug him and beg him to tell me what’s going on.
“I just thought maybe you wanted some time to yourself to think about everything. The gym. The farm. Have some time with the girls without me there. I’m not trying to crowd you or be overbearing.”
“Lizzie. I want to spend all my time with you. Plus, Addy and Mackenzie love having you around,” he declares, taking a step toward me and wrapping his hands around my waist.
“Okay,” I respond, not really convinced. Maybe I shouldn’t ask, but I can’t stop myself. I feel like we need to be able to be honest with each other, and I can tell something is bothering him—I just don’t know what. “I need you to tell me what’s going on then.”
He sighs. “To be honest, Lizzie, I guess I’m just a little overwhelmed. I feel like I’m still trying to figure out what my life looks like without football and without my dad and being back in Brantley Falls. Everything feels too real now.”
“I get it. No need to explain. You’ve had a lot of changes recently.”
Wait.
My brain instantly goes to that dark place, and I wonder if I’m one of those changes that feels too real and overwhelming. But it’s like he can see right through me.
“It’s not you, baby. Never you.” He pulls me to him and kisses me, both grounding me and reassuring my rampant mind. “I promise I’ll deal with it. I just need a bit more time.”
I guess I just need to let it all go for now and not worry about it. Let him do his thing at his own pace and work through whatever is holding him back from the gym project.
Even if I do have the niggling feeling in the back of my mind that something isn’t right.
* * *
After an evening with the girls and Cameron that feels too domestic and natural, I end the night in his bed, trying really hard not to get too comfy so I don’t fall asleep.
“Maybe I should get going.” I quickly get out from under him while a jaw-cracking yawn takes over me.
We have been toeing the line with me staying later and later every night, but I have never stayed overnight aside from that first night Cameron and I spent together. It seems like our relationship has been moving at warp speed, but I want the girls to have time to adjust to…us. Me staying the night feels like a big step, and Addy and Mackenzie will definitely think so too if they start waking up to me in their dad’s bed.
“No,” he says while pulling me back into his chest. “Stay a little longer. Please.” His pleading tone convinces me easily, so I slide back and snuggle into his warmth.
Before I know it, Cameron’s breathing evens out, and the sound of his steady heartbeat under my ear has me relaxing and feeling complete. I don’t even realize the moment I doze off.
* * *
Oh my God.
I actually fell asleep.
In Cameron’s bed.
“Wake up, Lizzie,” a familiar voice says in my ear, while another voice screeches as she jumps up and down on my blanket-covered body.
“Girls, stop crushing Lizzie. She’s not used to your morning abuse.” Cameron playfully tells them as he lifts them off me, one in each perfectly muscled arm. “Good morning,” he says, his voice sexy and raspy from sleep.
“Good morning,” I say back guiltily. I hadn’t meant to fall asleep, but I’m pretty sure I just experienced the best sleep I’ve had in ages. “Sorry,” I mouth.
Cameron leans down and places a gentle kiss on my lips, still holding the girls, before whispering, “There’s nothing to be sorry about, baby.”
“Hey, let us down, Daddy,” Addy screams while banging her little fists on his back, making me smile big.
“Nope. You guys are going to help me make pancakes while we let Lizzie get up in peace.”
“Pancakes!” they cheer together while all three of them make their way out of the room.
I lie in bed a couple more minutes, listening to all the wonderful noises of two girls and their dad cooking in the kitchen. It’s unbelievably comforting and something I can easily get used to.
Last night was an accident, but it turned out okay. Cameron wasn’t upset. He seemed happy to wake up beside me. The girls didn’t seem surprised by me sleeping in their dad’s bed either.
So when I get to the kitchen and I’m welcomed with hugs and cheers and a kiss from my guy, it feels a lot like all is well with the world.