Chapter 20
Chapter
Twenty
CIARAN
This time felt different.
Ciaran couldn’t explain what it was, exactly, and it wasn’t one thing in particular that felt that way.
But he was different.
He made love to Sawyer.
Slow and deep, tender, and with every emotion he could name. Ciaran stayed in his human form because it felt right this time. Sawyer wrapped his legs around Ciaran’s hips and clung to him, his fingers clawing at his back as Ciaran rocked them.
Ciaran left absolutely no doubt to whom he belonged.
He was so deep inside him, and he never wanted to leave. With every thrust, every pass of his tongue, he made sure Sawyer knew.
Sawyer was his.
Only his.
As Sawyer began to groan and beg, pleasure taking control, his body began to shudder and shake, and Ciaran thrust in hard and oh so fucking deep.
Sawyer’s orgasm was so intense, his entire body trembled as he cried out and groaned as he came.
Ciaran’s climax ripped through him, powerful and perfect, his cock pulsing deep inside Sawyer.
How that felt was indescribable.
It wasn’t just an orgasm. It wasn’t just sexual release or physical gratification.
This... this was something else entirely. Something so much more.
This was what his people had talked about. This was two lives becoming infused, two souls entwined.
It was a biochemical exchange. They were physically altered. But it was metaphysical as well.
They were part of each other now.
Now and forever.
Ciaran loved him.
He was in love with Sawyer.
No, it hadn’t been some fairytale meet-cute where they’d fallen in love like normal humans do in books and movies. But nothing about Ciaran’s life was remotely normal or human. They’d met because Sawyer had been posted to Tenebrae to spy on them, basically, and fate had taken care of the rest.
Fate had brought his mate to the Cove. The fact that fate had decided Ciaran deserved a mate was an honour he couldn’t quite get his head around, but he felt blessed, and so fucking lucky.
When their post-orgasm haze had lifted, Ciaran managed to raise his head, then propped up on his hand and looked dreamily down at Sawyer.
Only to find tears in his eyes.
Ciaran was so alarmed, so struck, he could barely think. He couldn’t feel any sadness or pain emanating from Sawyer—quite the opposite, actually—so this reaction felt wrong. “Sawyer? What is it?”
He let out a teary laugh and covered his eyes with his hand. “No, nothing’s wrong,” he whispered, bottom lip trembling.
Ciaran rolled them over and cradled Sawyer in his arms, rubbing his back, holding him tight, trying not to panic. “Please tell me. I thought this was—”
“Perfect?” Sawyer supplied. He let his hand fall away, and his teary eyes were physical barbs in Ciaran’s heart.
But then he laughed. “Happy tears,” he said.
“I’m so fucking happy. What I felt just now?
That can’t be right, can it? What I feel for you?
” His teary eyes searched Ciaran’s. “How can it be?”
“How can it be love?” Ciaran asked gently.
Sawyer nodded, tears spilling.
“I feel it too,” Ciaran admitted. “My hearts....”
That made Sawyer laugh, and he brought his hand back to his brow. “Hearts. Plural. I keep forgetting.”
Ciaran couldn’t help but smile. “Yes, plural. All three now beat for you.”
Sawyer’s smile became wobbly. “I only have one,” he said. “But it’s yours.”
Ciaran raised his hand to Sawyer’s face, brushing his hair back, tracing his thumb along his cheek to wipe a tear. “I know it feels surreal. It’s fast and overwhelming. But it is real.”
He nodded quickly, eyes wide and glassy. “Love?”
Ciaran kissed him softly, sweetly. “Yes. Love.”
Sawyer put his head on Ciaran’s chest, and they lay like that, dozing, Ciaran tracing circles on Sawyer’s skin, basking in the raw and pure emotion of it all.
How this man, this very human man, had walked into Ciaran’s town and changed his life. Had changed him.
“I love you,” Ciaran murmured, trying the words out loud for the first time. Needing to say them. Needing Sawyer to know. “I love you, Douglas Sawyer.”
Sawyer lifted his head, smiling without the tears now. “I love you, Ciaran Brenner.”
Ciaran’s whole chest swelled with warmth and jitters, his hearts hammering. “Douglas,” he murmured again. “Do you know the meaning of your name?”
“I think it was my great-grandfather’s name,” he said with a bit of a shrug.
“Douglas means dark water,” Ciaran said. “So maybe you were always meant to come to Tenebrae. Tenebrae also means darkness.”
Sawyer hummed happily, content. “What about your name? Does it mean anything? Like handsome or gorgeous. Fucking hot, perhaps.”
Ciaran chuckled but it ended with a sigh. “Ciaran means dark red.”
Sawyer looked up at him then. “Like you in freeform! A beautiful red.”
Ciaran smiled at that, but it faded slowly. “And Brenner means to burn.”
“Oh.” Sawyer’s eyes brightened. “Your superpower. So your name is very literal. That’s kinda cool. Does everyone’s name mean something?” Then he pulled back, alarmed. “Wait. Do you all have superpowers?”
Ciaran’s smile was immediate, and he thumbed Sawyer’s jawline. “A superpower? Hardly.”
“Ah, excuse me. You have an exceptional ability that exceeds human parameters. Pretty sure that’s the definition of a superpower.”
Ciaran chuckled. “Not all of us have them. It’s kind of the luck of the draw, I guess. Fray, he can shock. Like, electric pulses. You’ll feel it in your nerve endings for hours.”
Sawyer blinked. “No way. Like an electric eel?”
Ciaran laughed again. “Kinda.” Then he sobered up. “And Otis. Hard to explain, but he has strength and power in short bursts. Nothing can stop him. Not even me and Fray together.”
Something flashed in Sawyer’s eyes, like he remembered something. “Ah. Carpenter wrote in his farewell note not to piss Otis off because, and I quote, ‘holy fuck’.”
Ciaran nodded slowly. “Yeah. And he only saw the human Otis pissed off. And that was because Hendrix broke his gaming console.” Ciaran rolled his eyes, and Sawyer laughed.
“Anyone else?”
Ciaran sighed. He could hardly believe Sawyer was so accepting, so nonchalant about the nonhuman stuff.
Being so accepted made his whole chest warm.
“Aurin can do this thing—I don’t know if I’d call it a superpower—but he can glimmer.
I don’t know if that’s the right word, just what we call it, but he can make himself translucent with gold flecks.
It mesmerises a threat, giving him an opportunity to strike. ”
The corner of Sawyer’s mouth pulled down. “Strike? As in, fight?” Then his eyes got wide. “Do you have to fight often?”
Ciaran was silent for a moment. He was so torn about wanting to disclose everything to Sawyer and not wanting to ruin their bonding time alone together.
“No. Thankfully.” That wasn’t a lie. They didn’t have to fight often, but Ciaran couldn’t shake the feeling that something bad was coming.
He studied Sawyer’s eyes, wondering what he should divulge.
“What’s wrong?” Sawyer asked. He slid his hand over Ciaran’s chest. “I can feel what you feel, you know?”
Ciaran’s smile was a mix of gratitude and sadness. He was thankful for Sawyer’s openness but sorry he couldn’t shield him from the bad parts.
“You can tell me,” Sawyer murmured. “Anything.”
Ciaran ran his thumb along Sawyer’s cheek, relishing the warmth and honesty in his ice-blue eyes.
“I know, I just....” He sighed again and decided to go with the whole truth.
“I don’t mean to hide anything from you.
I’ve been alone a long time. On my own, as the leader of my consortium.
I try and shoulder everything so as not to burden any of the boys. ”
Sawyer took his hand in both of his as if he was saying Ciaran wasn’t alone anymore. He was with him.
“I’m not used to talking about stuff with anyone.”
“Not even Fray?”
“Most things. But not all. He’s my best friend, and we’re close, but I don’t want to burden him with my responsibilities.”
“You’re not a burden,” Sawyer offered gently.
“No, but....” He half shrugged, not truly realising until he’d said that out loud how much he had felt like a burden.
Maybe he’d unpack that later, but he needed to get back to the point.
“And I don’t mean to ever keep anything from you, not deliberately.
I’m just not used to it. You can ask me anything, and I’ll be honest.”
“Same,” Sawyer said with a hint of a smile.
“I’m not used to it either. I’ve been alone most of my adult life.
Even as a cop.” He made a face. “Especially as a cop. So we both have to get used to being open and honest with each other. It’ll take time, but I don’t think you’re hiding anything from me deliberately. ”
But the truth was, Ciaran was hiding something from him, and that ended now.
“There is something I have to tell you. I was going to tell you later, maybe. I didn’t want to ruin our time here at the hut.”
Sawyer squeezed his hand. No fear, no misunderstanding, only concern for Ciaran. “What is it?”
“We think something’s happening,” he said.
“Trouble in our world. A threat is coming, but we don’t know what or when.
Well, we think we know, but we fucking hope it’s not that.
I’ve been in touch with a few consortiums. The Bass Strait boys have fucking bailed, leaving us to face it alone.
And the Māori boys have said they’ll come—”
“I’m sorry, what?” Sawyer blinked, a deep frown on his face. “A threat?”
“Yes. The trench is silent. All deep-sea life has gone, kinda like when animals know when an earthquake is about to happen. Fray and I went for a look, and it was eerie as hell. And Dylan said he thought he saw something in the water when you fell in. He said there was something there with you, but Otis didn’t see anything.
I sent three out to search but they found nothing. ”
“Hmm.” Sawyer’s frown turned pensive. “Like how the forest was too quiet? Or how there are no birds here, no other animals. Well, except Salem.”
It wasn’t like Ciaran could tell him the truth about the critters in the forest....
Then Sawyer did the cutest little head tilt. “What do you mean threat, exactly? Does this have anything to do with what Dylan said that night on the dock in Hobart? He said, ‘She’s coming back,’ and he looked really fucking scared.”
Fuck.
“Well, first of all, Dylan gets super anxious and freaks out easily. But it’s a folklore thing, kind of.
He ran into the Bass Strait consortium, and they were leaving.
Fucking cowards. The leader of their consortium—his name is Dirk—was always a piece of shit.
Fray calls him Dirk the jerk.” He was getting off-track again.
“Anyway, you’ve heard of the kraken, right? ”
Sawyer’s eyes went comically wide. “The kraken.... You mean, like, giant squid, kraken?”
“Well, not really, but yes—”
“The Norse mythology kraken?”
“Closer, yes.”
Sawyer squinted his eyes shut, and when he opened them, Ciaran could see... anger?
“Wait,” he said. “Hold the fuck up.”
Okay, so anger wasn’t the reaction Ciaran had been expecting. “Are you mad?”
Ciaran wasn’t sure which part of what he’d said had warranted such a reaction. All of it, probably. He’d kept this from him for too long, and apparently asking Sawyer if he was mad wasn’t the right thing, either, because he just got madder.
“What? Did you just ask me if I was mad?” Sawyer said, and oh yes, he was mad. “Jesus, Ciaran. Your consortium is under threat from the fucking kraken, and you left them alone? To spend time with me? What the fuck?”
Ciaran blinked, shocked, confused. “W-what? Of course I did. You’re my priority here.
” Ciaran legit could not understand Sawyer’s anger.
“How is that a bad thing? I’m their leader and your mate.
But I can’t be everything to everyone all the fucking time, Sawyer.
I came here to be with you, to make this happen! ”
He winced. “No, of course.... That’s not what I meant.
I meant you shouldn’t have to choose. We shouldn’t have left your consortium.
We should have stayed in the Cove, together.
You’re their leader, and they need you. I would never have a problem with that.
I would stay by your side and help you; I would never make you choose.
Ever.” He jumped up to his feet and held his hand out. “Come on, get up. We need to go back.”
Ciaran was still confused, but he took Sawyer’s hand and stood up. “I trust them,” he began. “They’re capable—”
Sawyer’s sharp eyes met his. “Ciaran, sweetheart. You are their leader, and they need you. We have the rest of our lives to fuck like animals—” He froze. “No offense.”
Ciaran snorted at the animal comment but something else stuck out even more. “Sweetheart?”
Sawyer ignored that and began stuffing things into his duffel bag.
“And what do you mean, the kraken? You’re not joking, are you?
” He stopped, looked Ciaran in the eye, and then went back to shoving things into his bag.
“Of course you’re not joking. Of course the fucking kraken is real. I mean, why wouldn’t it be?”
He mumbled to himself some more, and Ciaran could feel his unease from across the room. Then Sawyer stopped, and his unease became cold fear. His hands stopped moving, and he was pale when he looked over at Ciaran again.
“You....” He sucked back a breath, then couldn’t quite seem to catch it again. The fear coming off him was cold and clawing. “Ciaran—”
Ciaran was across the room in two long strides, and he put his arms around Sawyer, holding him tight, holding him up. “Sawyer, what is it?”
“You. You’re in danger? This threat is coming for you? You’re the leader. If a gigantic threat is coming, they’ll come for you first....” He was trembling in Ciaran’s arms, and the dread and fear was radiating out of him. “Christ, Ciaran.”
“Hey,” Ciaran said, voice as calm as he could manage.
He pulled back, and with his hand on Sawyer’s cheek, he looked into his ice-struck eyes.
“We’ll be okay. We don’t know with any certainty that it’s happening.
We don’t know if she will even turn up. We just don’t know.
It could be weeks or months away. Years, even. ”
Sawyer’s nostrils flared, his jaw set with determination, and he let out a slow breath. “We’re going home. You’re going to tell me everything—all the history, all the lore, all the rumours—and we’re going to make a fucking plan. All of us. Okay?”
Ciaran couldn’t help but smile. Sawyer’s concern, his fear, his love—it was all Ciaran had ever dreamed of finding. He’d had no idea just how good it could be. Gods, how Ciaran loved him.
He took Sawyer’s hand and pressed it over his sternum so he could feel how his hearts synced for him, then he pressed a soft kiss to Sawyer’s lips. “Okay.”