Chapter 12 #2
Alex shook his head. “No, I’m not. Henry sounded different from most of the other guys you told me about. I am surprised it went off the rails so fast.”
He and me both. “It did.”
He didn’t respond, but he checked behind us, and moved over to take the exit. None of our usual brunch spots were in that direction.
“Are we going someplace new?” I asked.
“Nope.” He took the exit and pointed us toward the interstate. “This calls for retail therapy. I believe you said you needed new running shoes.”
What he meant was Alex was going to buy me things hoping it would make me feel better. This time, however, even new running shoes weren’t going to help.
“Let’s go have brunch, as planned. I’ll eat something this time.”
Alex snorted and merged onto the highway. “You say that every time. This old man knows better. Besides, this gives us thirty minutes to talk about what happened.”
Normally, I’d have unpacked a lot of my feelings with Trevor, but I couldn’t because this involved Henry. Telling Alex felt like telling my grandparents. Some things were TMI.
The weight of disappointment, however, pressed down on me and I needed to tell someone I could trust. “Honestly, I’m not totally sure. We were having a good time until we weren’t. I suspect it had to do with seeing this,” I waved my hands over my torso, “naked.”
“He said that?”
“Of course he didn’t. But I’m not stupid. We got back from our run and I took off my shirt. He allegedly got a work call and after that, he changed. I’m betting it was his ex-boyfriend. Getting the call reminded him he could do better.”
The Nicholas pity party was in full swing now. This was how I handled rejection. I needed to get mad enough at Henry so I could forget him and move on. Normally it worked, but with Henry it hurt more.
Instead of the usual sympathy, Alex laughed. Not a quick chuckle to let me know he found my retelling funny or quirky, but a full-on belly laugh that made his body shake.
I can’t remember being mad at Alex, but if we were at a traffic light, I’d have gotten out and walked home.
“I’m sorry, Nick, but that is one of the most ridiculous theories I’ve ever heard. If he wasn’t interested, he would’ve suggested you go home.”
The entire ride back from Frederick, I had the same thought. Henry could’ve made up a work excuse and we could’ve left after the phone call. There was, of course, an elephant in that room.
“He’s Trevor’s cousin. Henry might not want to date me, but he isn’t a total jerk. He made up some ridiculous story about not being honest about him and his family. Obviously he hoped I’d get mad and end it instead of him. I didn’t, of course, because I’m desperate for a boyfriend.”
“Wait,” Alex took his eyes off the road and we nearly drifted into the car in the next lane. “He said what?”
Henry’s story was so preposterous, Alex couldn’t believe it either. “He said there were things about him and his family he couldn’t tell me.”
Alex shook his head as if to shake away his confusion. “Let’s start at the beginning.”
I groaned. Whenever Alex got that tone, it meant I was going to be grilled. He had this uncanny ability to get into my head and tease out every last detail. I didn’t fancy reliving our trip, but Alex wouldn’t let go until he had all the facts. “He picked me up at my apartment around seven a.m.”
We’d almost made it to the Clarksburg outlets when Alex finally stopped mining for details. “And you think his confession at dinner, coupled with his refusal to get intimate add up to him dumping you?”
I knew this would end up awkward. “Intimate?” Who said that. Though if he’d said, “refused to fuck you,” I’d have jumped out the window.
“Henry and I spoke before I’d had anything to drink. He knew I wanted to get. . . intimate. His refusal had nothing to do with making sure I knew what I wanted.”
“You also said you hadn’t had anything to drink before he told you he was keeping secrets.
He probably wanted to be sure you still felt the same way.
Not wanting to take advantage of you when you’re drunk sounds like someone who planned to stick around a while and wanted your first time to be special. ”
I’d spent half the night lying awake thinking about every possible scenario I could imagine, including what Alex suggested. I’d rejected it because it wasn’t true.
“When I asked Henry what was wrong, he said he wasn’t being honest with me. Once I’d told him it didn’t matter, it should have removed the weight off his back. It didn’t. He never returned to his old self.”
Alex didn’t respond immediately. The silence in the car was broken only by the GPS directing him to turn right at the next light. We continued into the parking lot and once we found a space, Alex put the car in park and turned to face me.
“I don’t know what Henry was thinking, and neither do you.
We can guess and speculate, but until you speak to him we won’t know.
To be clear, I do not want you to do anything you don’t feel one hundred percent comfortable with.
I’m not trying to talk you into dating Henry, but from our conversations before you went to Frederick, I know you liked him.
From everything you told me about your day, you still liked him up until he got a call and he changed for the worst.
“But asking to wait until you’re sober should not be seen as a rejection.
Yes, Henry’s confession is odd, but you’re willingness to give him a chance wasn’t a cure all.
Your first response was to say you were taking an Uber home.
It’s perfectly normal for him to be cautious after that reaction.
Not hooking up with you when you’re drunk seems to be in character for this young man.
I know you’re gun shy when it comes to dating, but I think you jumped to the wrong conclusion.
“All that said, I’ll support whatever decision you make, but I really think you two need to talk. In my long life, I’ve found most disagreements can be solved by taking emotions out of the equation and having a conversation.”
Alex had never been shy about giving me his advice, but this took me by surprise. Usually, he told me to move on and I could do better. This was the first time he’d ever suggested I might have misinterpreted the situation.
My emotions have been zipping around like a pinball hitting a bumper. Alex meant well, and always gave good advice, but I needed to think about it before deciding.
“Let’s go shopping and we can talk about this on the ride home. How about we get pizza first. My treat.”
Alex smiled and nodded toward the stores. “Pizza sounds great, but you know the rule: you’re not paying for anything.”
Someday I planned to be secure enough to return the million and one favors I owed Alex. Until that day, I was still going to try to pay. I hadn’t managed to get the cashier to take my credit card yet, but one day I’d win.