A LOT OF EXPLAINING TO DO
EVIE
I GET INTO MY DORM ROOM, SHUT THE DOOR, AND LEAN AGAINST IT. HAS IT REALLY BEEN LESS THAN twenty-four hours since I left? It feels more like twenty-four years.
Annie is not here, but she’s left a neon mosaic wall of Post-Its above my desk. She knew I didn’t have my phone, yet she couldn’t contain her curiosity.
Where are you?
You said you’d be here soon!!!
OMG! I have to go to a study group meeting.
Ugh, why are you not home yet?
Also, Viktor’s phone—WTF?
You have a lot of explaining to do.
Annie’s energy could power all of Humphrey Hall. She would never desert me at a party.
I’m not often alone in our room, so it’s a chance for me to video-call my mother.
At first, something is wrong, and we can’t hear each other.
She fiddles with her laptop, giving me time to really look.
She’s sitting at her writing desk. I can see the ornate curlicue wallpaper behind her and the brass wall sconce.
And seeing her familiar face, so far away yet so close eases something in me.
I’ve maintained my cover all day, all week really, but now I’m in a safe space.
Oh, silly me, I forgot to adjust the volume. She smiles and looks up. Oh Evelyn, are you crying?
I nod, unable to speak because of the tears flowing down my cheeks. I grab tissues and dab at my face.
Darling, what’s wrong? she asks.
It feels strange to have to edit what I share with my mother, but I’ve seldom had chances to make big mistakes before.
I certainly can’t tell her about Dougie and the frat house because that’s serious enough for her to involve my father.
So I settle for the person who is making my heart hurt right now.
There’s a guy I like. But he doesn’t like me back. I wonder if these words have been said by young women for decades.
Would you like to tell me about him? she invites in her gentle way.
Without hyperbole, he’s the most impressive man at Monarch.
To think that when I woke up this morning, I didn’t even like him. But everything that happened today—the way he rescued me, all his consideration, his forceful personality, his smouldering attractiveness—completely changed the way I see him.
My mother bows her head, no doubt trying to hide her amusement at my dramatic pronouncement.
Who is this boy? she asks.
His name is Viktor. And he’s a man, not a boy. He’s captain of the hockey team and a leader. But more importantly, he’s a good person. Someone who does the right things regardless of the cost to him.
Well, it sounds like you really like him. Have you spent a lot of time with him?
I slept in his bed last night, but I definitely can’t share that fact. It doesn’t matter. Nothing’s going to happen between us.
Evelyn, this is all a part of maturing. You’ve had a very sheltered childhood, so it’s good for you to meet new people and experience new emotions. All your experiences won’t be positive, but that will help you grow as a person.
My expression must be skeptical, because she adds, Soon, you’ll meet someone who will make you forget all about this Viktor.
Nobody is going to measure up to him, I say mulishly.
Darling, it’s fine to have a crush, even if it’s unrequited. It’s a good way to exercise your feelings. But you don’t want to spend too much time fantasizing about someone unattainable. It’s better to have realistic goals.
She knows my obsessive soul all too well.
Okay, fine. I’ll put a three-week limit on my crush on Viktor. After that, I’m moving on.
Now she laughs openly. You do that, dear.
I get my romanticism from my mother and my pragmatism from my father, which makes for a bizarre mix.
I exhale. I was hoping to be like you and Dad. I’d see someone and fall in love, and that would be it, forever. Then I wouldn’t have to kiss a bunch of frogs to get to the prince.
My mother shakes her head. I dated other boys before your father. And believe me, there were many frogs.
Our conversation moves onto less dramatic topics as I update her on how my classes are going, and she shares anecdotes from that familiar life that I miss.
Annie and I were thinking of starting a crafting club. At initiation, there was this portal where you could register new clubs so like-minded people could find each other. We want to combine craft nights and charitable projects.
That’s a wonderful idea. You know the best way to move on from someone is to involve yourself in activities that help others. Societally, we focus too much on ourselves and our personal happiness. Your soul is nurtured by good deeds.
I exhale happily. While I feel awful about what I’ve done recently, she’s showing me the way through. I need to stop thinking about myself and focus on the bigger community.
Oh, your father’s here. Back from his walk.
My father appears behind her and stares at me. You look different.
I flush. Yes, I cut my hair. I don’t mention the eyebrow plucking or fashion changes, since I’m sure he’s already noticed.
Too sophisticated. You looked better before, he says gruffly.
Don’t listen to him. He knows nothing about fashion. I think you look very au courant. My mother has been softening his edges for years, but I already know what he’s like.
I’m going to shower now. Good to see you. He dismisses me like a work colleague, but he’s happy that I’m following his directive to talk to my mother more.
I’ll let you go now, I say.
So lovely to talk to you, darling, she responds.
You helped me a lot today, I say impulsively, and I can see the pleasure this comment brings her. While I want to prove I’m mature and independent, I can see that she still wants to feel needed.
Later, when Annie bursts into the room, the first thing she does is tackle me in a big hug. Are you okay?
I’m fine. Nothing bad happened to me. It’s not logical to have a broken heart over someone you only started liking this morning.
Oh my god. Tell me everything, she demands.
So I do. It feels good to have someone who I can actually talk to about the whole frat house situation. Yet even as I tell her about how kind Viktor and his teammates were, I don’t reveal the whole extent of my crush.
Well, he does seem to be a lot nicer than his first impression, she admits. And you already set the Humphrey Hall gossip machine into overdrive by arriving here in Big Z’s car.
How does everyone know it was his car?
It’s the only Range Rover on campus. He must be mega-rich.
You can tell everyone that absolutely nothing is going on. No matter how much I wish the opposite was true.
She shrugs. Let them talk. But more importantly, you must be over the Alpha Zeta Mu sorority now. Angelica should have been looking out for you. None of this would have happened if she hadn’t ditched you.
I nod. But I still have to see them and explain what happened.
Do it! Annie urges. They should know what almost happened. Their stupid revenge schemes are so ridiculous.
After dinner, I go over to the sorority house. We go straight to our little meeting room and sit in a circle with everyone looking at me curiously.
What happened last night? Des asks.
It didn’t go well, I begin.
Vik drove you here! Jordan exclaims. How is that not good?
I inhale a big dose of backbone. This is a long story, and I’d like to tell it uninterrupted.
Everyone nods, and Jordan mutters an apology.
When I went up to talk to Viktor at the party, he told me he wasn’t interested. Just like the night before, I add for emphasis.
Angelica shakes her head. There’s no way. I saw the way he watched her. And then he touched her. He’s totally into her.
Des shushes her, and I continue. He told me to leave him alone. And it was pretty upsetting to be turned down in such an insulting way.
What were his exact words? Des asks.
Something like, ‘Isn’t it past your bedtime, little girl?’
Mia sucks in a breath. What a dick!
I nod. I wanted to leave right away, but I didn’t have my phone, so I had to find Angelica first.
I look at her, but she avoids meeting my eyes.
I ran into this frat boy, Dougie, that Angelica and I had met earlier. When I asked him where she was, he claimed she would be right back. And he insisted on getting me a drink and helping me search.
I fix my eyes on Angelica. He put something in my drink to knock me out. And then he took me upstairs to a bedroom.
Oh my god, that was you? I heard the campus cops were there, Jordan exclaims.
Mia slides closer to me on the couch and strokes my arm. Are you okay, Evie?
Yes. Nothing happened, but that was pure luck.
Viktor saw us, and he could tell something wasn’t right.
He and some of his teammates came after us and pulled me out of the room, even though I was already passed out.
And they looked after me until this morning, and then Viktor brought me here to get my stuff.
After that, I went to the hospital to get fully checked out.
Oh my god, you poor thing! Des is completely shocked.
I look at Angelica again. She’s surprised, but I suspect she might have known something already.
Des turns to her. You were supposed to be looking out for Evie. What happened?
She shrugs. I saw her and Vik together. I could tell he was into her. In fact, I’m still sure he is—no matter what he said. I didn’t think I had to babysit her after that. I figured that they’d hook up.
My stomach churns at her casual dismissal. At the very least she should have checked in with me and returned my phone. Was she jealous when she imagined I had succeeded in attracting Viktor?
Did you even look for me? I ask, my voice high and reedy.
Oh, honestly, you are such a baby. Vik’s right about that part, anyway. Then she flounces out of the room.
Des shakes her head. Evie, I’m so, so sorry that this happened.
Sorority sisters are supposed to look out for each other.
And I should have asked Angelica more questions when she got home.
She just said that you and Vik were together.
And when you never answered my messages, so I assumed you were busy.