chapter 56 ⚚
be patient and easy on me. not only do
i share the same hair colour as lilith, but
also the nonexistent good luck in life. this chapter will be corrected soon.
love, admi?
"Did Katherine ever spend christmas with you?" was probably not a question Lilith should've asked on a morning that was meant to be jolly and peaceful. It wasn't like those mornings were ever like that for Lilith, though.
Christmas, no matter if it was before her mother left her or after, was always stressful and full of arguments—more than anyone would've thought.
The question wasn't really appreciated by Valentina, who was sitting on the bed facing the window, a slight frown resting on her face, her back aching.
"I despise sleeping here," she murmured, her voice deeper than it was when she was sick, her palm brushing over her face—her eyes especially.
"You mean... you hate sleeping anywhere other than your bed?" Lilith tilted her head, her fingers brushing against Valentina's back in playful strokes.
"Yeah," Valentina almost whined.
No matter the situation, she preferred to spend the night at her own place and remembering the conversation she had with the blonde girl the previous day, she really should've agreed on staying at her own place.
Since she hated sleeping at other people's places and didn't do it often, she forgot how bad it was—especially at Chiara's.
She swore it was the placement of the guest room, which she herself had designed like that.
She didn't make the project for herself, though.
And maybe—trying to find any sweetness in this situation—it was like Lilith, not even knowing how much she hated it, had tried to save her yesterday.
Valentina could be truly delusional if she wanted to be.
She stretched softly, one bone cracking quietly. She was never surprised at how easily Lilith slept at her place—who wouldn't like to sleep in her perfect bed?
"So... will you answer my question?" she heard Lilith's voice more clearly.
Turning around quickly to face her, she asked, "What?"
"Did Katherine ever spend christmas with you... and your family?" Lilith asked again, a little guiltily.
The girl tried not to laugh, because the situation wasn't much different from your partner coming home exhausted and you asking them the most useless, dumb question on the planet.
Lilith would've exploded.
But since Valentina's responses to things like that were mostly healthy—unlike Lilith's—the woman only sighed, her head dropping slightly.
"No, Lilith."
"Okay," Lilith murmured, nodding like she wouldn't push any further, just to close her eyes for a second and then attempt again. "Why?" she asked, smiling.
"She preferred spending holidays with her own family," Valentina answered, yawning softly before grimacing, clearly not enjoying the topic.
"Okay," Lilith repeated, blinking.
Valentina eventually softened up. Taking a shower and eating whatever she had told her little sister to make for breakfast made her feel better.
Technically, it wasn't christmas yet, but their family always had the official dinner the day before.
Lilith met Nathan, and they really seemed like a similar type of partners, which almost made her laugh and for a second, made her think of Oscar.
All of them helped Chiara finish up the different kinds of cakes she made and got ready.
?
Lilith could curse herself for wanting to look good.
The tight black dress that reached her ankles made her huff every time she had to take a step, and she spent the entire walk to the car looking down, making sure the dress wasn't riding up. The heels she had on started to piss her off after barely five minutes, too.
It was at least good enough that she didn't feel as stressed when her dress occupied her mind.
It wasn't new at all that Valentina looked beautiful, especially in her favourite, dark red colour. Both the blonde haired girl and Chiara had persuaded the woman to wear a matching lipstick.
Lilith's distraction for the evening could easily be Valentina's lips.
The ride to Valentina's parents' house took a while, since it was on the outskirts of the city.
The house was absolutely huge.
The area was so private and in the upcoming darkness it looked more scary than peaceful. When Lilith got out of the car, she looked up at it like it was some kind of horrifying castle.
The atmosphere quickly changed, because as soon as the front door opened, Lilith already felt overstimulated.
The warm air hit her.
The slight noise of chatter.
So many lights that—even if warm—felt extremely bright, making her squint.
She felt like she had a fever.
Valentina's mom was the one to welcome them. She didn't say anything specific or too affectionate to any of them, whether it was her daughters or her daughters' partners, since she looked like she was still in the middle of preparing something.
All they got was a hug. Every hug lasted the same amount of seconds, and every hug was as tight as the one before.
She quickly disappeared.
When they finally undressed, Lilith could properly look at the hall, looking up at the high ceiling and the huge staircase.
Valentina let Chiara and Nathan take care of everything they were carrying, leaving both Lilith's and her own bags—clothes and everything they brought to spend a few days there—near the coats and shoes, knowing her mother would probably scold her later for making the space cluttered.
She quickly appeared right behind Lilith, leaning closer to the girl's ear.
"Want to wander around?" she asked.
Lilith almost jumped, Valentina scaring her for what felt like the hundredth time.
Turning around, she only winked at her. "Explore?"
The word brought back a flash of their first meeting—something that probably should've made her feel at least a little embarrassed, but every time Lilith thought of it, she felt nothing but something warm, something good.
"Yes, come on," Valentina responded, tilting her head slightly as she wrapped her hand around Lilith's smaller one, leading her towards the stairs.
The walls were practically covered in various paintings.
"My mom painted this," the woman said, stopping as Lilith paused in front of one of them.
"I thought I'd find pictures of little Val here," Lilith pouted softly, turning her head towards the brunette.
"Not here," Valentina laughed. "As much as my mother loves me... she'd truly rather die than put photos of me here instead of her favourite paintings." She gestured with her head for them to keep going.
When they finally reached the next floor, Lilith could already see another staircase.
How big was this house?
They moved through the first rooms quickly, leaving a few bedrooms alone. As they neared a room with the door slightly open, classical music could be heard from inside.
They stepped in.
Valentina's father was there, as well as his brother—her uncle—and his wife.
They walked in just as Valentina's dad's rich laughter filled the room. His hands opened wide the second he saw his daughter.
"Valentina," he said loudly.
Then, noticing the shorter blonde girl, he added, "And Lilith. Beautiful." He complimented both of them easily.
While Lilith shook hands and greeted Valentina's aunt and uncle, he poured himself another glass of whisky.
"Want me to pour you some?" he asked Valentina.
Her brows were already furrowed. "Why aren't you helping mom right now?" she asked.
"Your mother..." he started, sounding like a properly annoyed father, "made me cook the whole day yesterday, and all she has... had to do today is set the table."
He took a sip.
"And she still left it until now."
He shook his head lightly. "Unbelievable," he muttered, though he didn't sound truly mad.
The woman—taller than the man, especially with her heels on—laughed wickedly, clearly enjoying the fact that her mother was giving her father a hard time.
"Shall we play poker later?" her father asked, his head tilting playfully towards his brother, even though the question was really only aimed at his daughter.
He didn't receive an answer, though.
Valentina only sighed, rolling her eyes as she placed her hand on Lilith's back, silently gesturing for them to leave.
As they turned around, the only thing they heard the older man say was "As sweet as always to her old, poor father."
Lilith giggled softly, wondering if her own dad would get along with Valentina's. They seemed similar and maybe that wouldn't make them compatible.
Escaping the room and hearing plates clink downstairs, they moved towards the library—where Lilith's quiet wish was finally fulfilled.
She was looking at Valentina's childhood photos.
Most of them were from when Valentina was a literal child.
Her dark hair looked even thicker, and in many of the pictures—ones that seemed like they were taken against her will—her eyes already carried that familiar sharpness.
Moving on to photos from her twenties, though, the way Valentina had described herself back then suddenly made perfect sense.
"You had a nose piercing," Lilith said, her eyes widening slightly as she pointed at one of the photos.
"Only for a month," Valentina chuckled.
"It didn't really suit me," she said, tilting her head slightly as she examined the picture.
"It did," Lilith grinned.
Even that version of Valentina was attractive to her.
At the same time, Lilith was almost certain that if Valentina decided to work in a circus and had to be a clown every day, she—and probably many other people—would still find her attractive.
Valentina, noticing the grin on her face, closed the book with finality.
"Time for dinner."
?
Was getting drunk at a christmas dinner appropriate? Or rather—something that could be taken lightly?
Lilith didn't really know.
After her second glass of wine, she felt foggy.
She wasn't sure if it was the slight stress or the fact that it was genuinely so warm in the house. She had also inhaled too much of her perfumes and hadn't eaten anything all day.
No matter what made her so tipsy, she felt zoned out.
And quite nice.
She got to talk a bit with Valentina's cousin, who turned out to have graduated from the same university she was attending. She ate a little, but she truly didn't feel human—chewing, trying to figure out if she looked weird, while also attempting to keep her posture straight.
She didn't expect any arguments in Valentina's family.
But if you could call it an argument, Valentina was the one to start it.
She fought with Chiara over a place at the table and eventually—of course—won.
After the first meals, when everything got lighter, Lilith stood up and went towards the bathroom.
Just as she was reaching for the door handle, she felt a hand wrap around her waist.
"Stop scaring me," she murmured quickly.
"Why? I enjoy it," Valentina murmured back, placing a kiss on the girl's head.
With a quiet sigh, Lilith opened the door and held it, glancing at the woman lazily, waiting for her to come in too. As soon as the door shut, she slid down the wall, sitting on the floor, pulling a vape out of her bra and ignoring the woman who followed her in without a clear reason.
"Are you feeling alright?" Valentina asked, looking down at her.
When the question went unanswered, she crouched down slightly.
"Darling?" she asked again.
"I feel drunk," Lilith said simply.
Valentina's laugh came quickly and Lilith wasn't even sure if she had imagined how loud it was or if it actually echoed like that.
"Stop," she whined, taking a puff from her vape.
"Do you want to lie down?" Valentina asked, placing her hand on Lilith's knee.
"Yeah," Lilith sighed.
She felt her hand being taken—Valentina's fingers wrapping around it—and then lifted closer to her mouth as she took a puff from Lilith's vape as well.
"We're so rebellious," she whispered, trying to humour her.
She really didn't need to say anything.
Valentina Salvatore vaping was already humorous enough.
"Naughty," Lilith grinned.
"How do you feel?" Valentina tilted her head slightly.
"Great. I don't know... it's great. I'm just eating and talking," Lilith shrugged.
"Well... that's how dinners usually work," Valentina said, smiling.
Lilith rolled her eyes. "It's just so casual."
"Is it good or bad?" Valentina asked, genuinely curious.
"Perfect," Lilith replied.
"I want to—" Valentina started, but was quickly interrupted by a yell from the other side of the door.
"Valentina, get out, I'll piss my pants."
"Have some class," she raised her voice in response, looking at the door and rolling her eyes. She sighed, then held out her hand for Lilith to stand up.
Once they were both on their feet, Lilith slipped her sweet addiction back into her bra, and they opened the door.
"You should be ashamed," Chiara pointed at her sister, clearly implying something inappropriate that hadn't actually happened.
Lilith let out a soft giggle, stepping away and leaving the two sisters to argue.
?
"What is happening right now?" Lilith muttered.
"I'm carrying you upstairs," Valentina answered simply.
"You fell asleep and everyone is drunk, so..." she added.
The blonde haired girl had, in fact, ended up lying down on one of the large couches. It didn't seem like anyone minded—Chiara and her cousin had done the same.
"Are we going to sleep?" Lilith asked, glancing around.
"Already?" Valentina looked down at her like a disappointed child—like someone who had just been told to go to bed on new year's eve and would miss the fireworks once again.
"You're cute," Lilith murmured, closing her eyes again and letting herself be carried to the room they would be sleeping in for the next few days.
When she was finally placed on the bed, she looked around slowly.
Their bags were already there.
And the gifts.
"Presents?" the blonde girl murmured, her voice soft and warm.
"Presents," Valentina echoed quietly, setting the bags down before sitting at the edge of the bed.
Lilith sat up, her back straightening as the hazy, mellow feeling slowly slipped away from her body.
And then she remembered.
Her gift.
A slight tension settled right bavk in her.
She glanced at the size of the bags, noticing that Valentina was already observing both of them.
She let out a small giggle.
"You first," Lilith said shyly, wanting to get it over with.
"Are you nervous?" Valentina chuckled, her fingers already resting on the smaller bag, though her eyes stayed entirely on Lilith.
Lilith sighed, pulling her legs up to her chest, her chin resting on her knees as she looked at her.
"Let's see," Valentina murmured.
She understood the reaction almost immediately. When she unwrapped the sheer material and the first part of the present revealed itself, she saw a set of lingerie.
"I thought you might like it," Lilith said quickly, before Valentina could even properly examine it.
It was minimalistic, elegant—nothing too far from the pieces Valentina already owned.
"And..." Lilith started, then stopped, clearly trying to find the right words.
"And?" Valentina coaxed, a quiet teasing slipping into her tone.
Lilith weakened instantly under it.
Valentina hadn't even really looked at the lingerie yet—which Lilith couldn't decide was a good or bad thing.
"And... maybe I'd like to see you in it too," Lilith shrugged, trying to sound nonchalant, as if she hadn't just exposed herself completely.
"I see," Valentina hummed.
Whatever the gift was, Lilith's reaction to it was far more entertaining.
"It's not only that, though," Lilith's brows furrowed suddenly, her tone almost offended, which only made it more amusing. Her hands moved quickly, digging into the bag again, pulling out a letter and a small box.
"You just had to start with that," she muttered to herself, rolling her eyes as she took the lingerie and tossed it somewhere near the pillows, then placed the two remaining things into Valentina's hands.
"Oh, you entertain me so much," Valentina said, glancing down.
"React to this," Lilith muttered, pointing firmly at what the woman was holding.
"A letter?" Valentina's eyes widened slightly, holding back a laugh.
"What?" Lilith asked, confused.
"Nothing... you'll see," Valentina said, opening the small jewellery box.
Inside, there was a necklace.
Gold plated—real gold would have made Lilith homeless—with a bright crystal set into it, lighter than the chain itself, almost white.
The humour vanished from Valentina almost instantly and her expression changed—subtly, but completely.
"Sweetheart," she said quietly, a warmth settling into her voice, a soft smile already forming on her lips.
"Wait... look here," Lilith said, avoiding the woman's eyes as her fingers gently turned the crystal around, revealing the letter L engraved at the back.
She felt slightly bad for not letting Valentina speak and for controlling what should have been a quiet moment between them, but if it had gone differently, she knew she would have lost her nerve.
"You really want me to die," Valentina said, her tone almost helpless.
"Please say it's not too much," Lilith said, her eyes widening slightly as she tried to look as innocent and persuasive as possible.
"It's not," Valentina exhaled. "It's perfect. Thank you." She lifted her hand and moved it through Lilith's hair, even though it did not need fixing. Her fingers slid slowly through the strands as if she was soothing herself rather than Lilith, her eyes resting on the girl's face.
Lilith could not stop smiling.
The smile disappeared for a moment when she felt a sudden tug at her hair, pulling her closer to the woman.
"Ouch," she murmured, but before she could say anything else, her lips were captured in a hungry kiss.
"Kiss me," Valentina said as she pulled away for only a second.
"I..." Lilith started, but her lips were taken again before she could finish.
Valentina's warm palms settled on the girl's cheeks, holding her face firmly as she kissed her insistently, her lips moving against hers before she slowly deepened the kiss.
Lilith tried to speak, but it came out as something very unclear.
It felt like a proper thank you from Valentina.
"I can't breathe," Lilith murmured, pulling away with effort, her lips slightly parted.
"My sweet girl," Valentina said softly, her finger brushing over Lilith's flushed cheek. "It's time for your present, hm?"
Lilith felt disoriented.
She should have learnt by now and prepared herself for moments like this, for the way Valentina would suddenly kiss her or say something so affectionate or teasing that it left her feeling like this.
The surprise made those moments slip past her too quickly, never allowing her to fully hold onto them.
"You didn't read the letter," Lilith said quietly.
"I would like to read it while you read the one I wrote for you," Valentina replied.
"You also wrote me a letter?" Lilith's mouth opened slightly.
"I don't know," Valentina shrugged. "Check," she added.
And because of that, Lilith rushed through most of the things in the bag.
She went through high end makeup products, a top that looked similar to one she had worn once and that Valentina had later sketched—only this one had much more lace—products for her hair, perfumes and other small things.
She kept murmuring that she loved it, that everything was pretty, barely taking the time to properly look at anything.
Until she saw the Apple box.
A brand new MacBook.
She stopped completely, because there was no way to ignore something like that and just move on to the letter.
"Excuse me?" she muttered.
"You texted me your laptop was pretty slow, didn't you?" Valentina asked, trying not to grin.
"Yes, but I didn't say you should buy me a new one," Lilith lifted her head, staring at her.
"I suppose I'm awful at interpreting things," Valentina said innocently.
Lilith let out a small whine, shifting her position carefully so she wouldn't embarrass herself in the tight dress, before leaning in and wrapping her arms around Valentina's neck in a slightly clumsy hug.
"Do you want my soul?" she murmured.
"I've never dreamt of anything else," Valentina answered, her hands moving over the girl's back—one settling at her waist, the other resting at her backside for a moment.
"Let's read the letters, come on," she added, tapping Lilith's back lightly.
"Alright," Lilith said, pulling away, her earlier nervousness creeping back in.
The letters were wrapped in a similar way.
Both of them handled the envelopes with an odd kind of seriousness, like they were opening something formal, instead of love letters.
And surprisingly, it was Valentina whose eyes filled with tears, turning glassy as she read.
The letter Lilith wrote said.
I'm not quite sure how to start such thing, especially when I'm afraid of how silly it could look, but I feel a bit like Napoleon writing to his Josephine.
I can't judge his desperation, because I feel the same, though.
It probably wouldn't be seen as too positive by many, but I don't see it as something horrible.
I've already mentioned what I'm thankful for, but I could say it a hundred times. I'm thankful that I can be here with you and your family, who don't stop surprising me. Everything about you feels like warmth. You are my warmth, and I hope I can be yours too.
I might spend too much time in my own mind, but I feel like it's one of the things that is somehow just ours. And maybe what I'm about to write is the result of being there too much once again, but it's almost as if we are connected in a way that was never made or named.
I might ruin the sweetness of this letter by writing this, but I do think I'm quite fitting to be a part of your present this christmas.
I hope you'll unwrap me carefully and handle me with care.
Though I know I haven't been the most well behaved this year, I like to think that I'm convincing enough.
.. Perhaps after, you can teach me a thing or two about being good.
With all my heart,
your blonde.
Valentina read every word slowly at first, as if she was trying to memorise each sentence, storing it somewhere permanent.
While Lilith's initial was engraved on the necklace, her words were engraved in both Valentina's mind and heart.
It seemed that, with all this excitement, Valentina had developed an almost unnatural ability to read faster than anyone ever—especially when she reread the letter twice.
She looked up.
Lilith was just as focused as she had been a moment ago, her eyes moving across the page, her expression calmer, as she read what Valentina had written for her.
My lovely Lilith, I have been thinking about what I could add to your gift and since my attempts at not the most appropriate sketches were already discovered by you, I thought writing would be a good alternative.
.. and definitely one that wouldn't leave me feeling nervous or shy, which I would never expect from myself.
That is probably your doing, making me feel different and special in a way I cannot fully explain at the moment.
I could wish you the simplest things, but let me be selfish and wish something for myself. Let me wish myself a lot of worries. Let me worry whether you worry. Let me worry whether you take care of yourself or not, just so I can take care of you.
And to ease your mind a little, let me learn you, let me understand you. I promise to be as patient as I like to consider myself—if not more.
Even with you as my loveliest trouble in mind, I find myself wrapped in the invisible wings you seem to carry whenever you are near. I would say I hope your santa this year is yielding and weak, but I do not need to hope.
I know I am.
Even when it comes to a certain disobedient girl.
Yours,
Miss Salvatore.
As soon as the girl stopped reading, she dropped the letter onto her lap and then, remembering she wouldn't want them to get wrinkled or destroyed, took both of them in her hands and placed them into one of the bags, setting it on the floor, before quite literally throwing herself at Valentina.
They landed smoothly on the bed, Valentina's back hitting the lingerie she had received.
"You make me feel so loved," Lilith murmured, going straight for the woman's neck, leaving kisses there.
She felt hungry.
So hungry for the woman.
She wasn't even sure if it was emotional or sexual.
It was everything.
She felt drunk once again.
It was like there was a switch in her mind that had been turned on, making her feel—and understand—that Valentina liked her.
Actually liked Lilith.
And felt most of the same things the girl felt for her.
She sucked on the woman's neck like no one else than a vampire. "How do you feel about what I wrote at the end?" she murmured between the kisses.
And suddenly she felt Valentina's hand forcing her to look up. The woman, fixing the girl's dress slightly, her fingers brushing against the lacy strap of the black bra Lilith wore on purpose, murmured, "Not tonight."
And what a huge shock it was for Lilith.
She was absolutely shocked.
Her mouth opened for a slight second.
"What?" she muttered. "I thought you'd want..." she started, trying to aim at the right words.
She didn't actually expect Valentina to have sex with her tonight. What person would have their first time at someone else's place? But the way Valentina easily rejected the offer was unexpected in a very neutral way.
"You thought I would like to fuck you, Lilith?" Valentina hummed, sounding so vulgar, her eyes still somewhere on Lilith's cleavage, her fingers playing with the strap of her bra.
She stopped herself for a moment before simply saying, "I would. But." Stopping once again.
"Not tonight," Lilith finished for her.
The woman tried to sit up and Lilith, with a false, sad sigh, got off her. But what she hadn't expected were the woman's hands pressing on her stomach, turning her into the one who lay down.
"I like when you kiss my neck," the woman murmured quietly.
"It's my favourite," she added, continuing, "I was wondering.." Her finger landed on the girl's forehead, then slipped slowly down.
"What could be your favourite, sweetheart?" she finished, her finger slowly sliding down to her collarbones and then eventually on the girl's breasts, stopping there.
But Lilith didn't say anything.
"No?" the woman voiced out suddenly, an ironic pout playing on her lips. "Perhaps I should just kiss your forehead and say goodnight."
Her finger disappeared from the girl's chest, but Lilith was quick to catch it with her own hand and place it right back there.
"No," she murmured. "Please," she added shyly.
The woman's head tilted.
She really could be cruel, pretending to be confused.
"I'm not sure what you mean," she hummed, her fingers catching the hem of the girl's dress to slip it lower, revealing her bra that cupped her full breasts. She let her finger wander at the lacy material.
Lilith felt mentally tortured.
"Valentina." she said quietly.
"Oh, Lilith... another start without an ending... how very consistent of you."