Chapter 21
The Talk
Alex
Ollie can’t avoid me forever. At some point, we’re going to have to talk about what happened.
I didn’t intend to make her uncomfortable; I was just so damn horny I couldn’t think straight and I needed release.
At first, I didn’t even know she was awake and watching.
Until I saw the bed sheets move as she slid her hand down her body and I assume into her underwear.
At that point, all I could think of was her fingers touching her sweet cunt and wishing that I could replace them with my tongue or my cock.
That was more than enough to send me over the edge.
Maybe I shouldn’t have winked at her and asked her if she’d enjoyed the show.
I should’ve just ignored her and pretended that I didn’t know that she got herself off to watching me paint my hand and stomach with cum.
But fuck, I need her to know that I want more from her, that she doesn’t have to hide behind these walls around her heart.
But if anything, all that did was make those walls thicker and higher.
I’m such a bloody idiot. And it doesn’t help that I’m not the only one interested.
I see the way Theo and Rhys look at her, like they can’t take their eyes off her, and I get it.
She’s fucking breathtaking, not just with her sparkling green eyes or her thick chestnut hair, but with her bravery and determination.
Ollie is a force to be reckoned with, and I pity the poor bastard that ever gets in her way.
But having all three of us pursuing her is a recipe for disaster. We tried it once, many years ago, and it almost destroyed us and our bond. I’m not about to let that happen again, but I’m also not going to give Ollie up.
But now I not only have to break down these barriers around her heart, but compete with my two best friends. Because there’s no way we’re sharing again. It’s not happening. Ollie is going to be mine, as long as she’ll have me.
But for that to happen, she needs to stop avoiding me so we can talk.
Which is why I corner her after Theo and Rhys disappear into a warehouse we just found to search for supplies. Ollie glares up at me and attempts to step around me.
I stop her with a hand on her shoulder. “We need to talk.”
She shrugs off my hand. “We have nothing to talk about.”
I cock an eyebrow at her and stare down at her. “Now we both know that’s a lie.”
Her cheeks flush, no doubt her mind replaying what happened last night, and she bites her lower lip. She glances to where Harlow lies beside Bean with Ketchup perched on the saddle and then to the side door of the warehouse where Rhys and Theo disappeared about fifteen minutes ago.
With a sigh, she relents. “Fine, but make it quick.”
Not as enthusiastic as I’d like, but I’ll take it. “I meant what I said last night; I want more than friendship, and I’m going to do whatever I can to convince you it’ll work between us.” I take a step toward her.
Her eyes widen and she steps away, her back hitting the brick exterior of the warehouse. “And I told you last night that this isn’t a good idea. We won’t work and it’ll only end in heartbreak.”
“What makes you so sure of that?”
“Because it won’t.” Her voice sounds so small, so defeated, and all I want to do is ball her up into my arms and hug her until all that sadness is gone.
Something obviously happened in her past to convince her that all relationships are doomed to fail and I have a feeling that Ethan the wanker is part of it.
Even thinking of how he spoke about her is enough to have my blood boiling with rage.
We were too kind to him. We should have smashed his face in before letting him run away from us.
But there’s nothing I can do about him, and right now Ollie needs me more.
I reach up and brush a strand of her chestnut hair from her cheek, shocked by how soft her skin is against my rough, calloused fingers. “What are you so afraid of happening?” I ask softly.
She closes her eyes and sighs heavily. “Everything.” Opening her eyes, she stares up at me, her irises gleaming like emeralds in the afternoon sun. “I won’t survive my heart breaking again, Alex.”
“What if I promise never to break it?”
She shakes her head. “You can’t do that, not when you barely know me.” Her forehead furrows, the pain clear on her face. “Everyone always leaves me.”
I want to kill the people that hurt this wonderful woman’s heart enough that she’s terrified of being left again. I want to make them bleed and suffer just like they made her suffer.
Just like your father, an insidious voice whispers in the back of my mind, making me flinch with horror.
Unfortunately, Ollie misinterprets my action. Her eyes shutter and her face turns into a blank mask. “I knew you’d understand,” she says in a painfully neutral voice as she goes to slip away from me.
Fuck! I need to fix this now, otherwise I’ll never get another chance. I just know it.
“Ollie, sweetheart, I can promise you that there is nothing you can do or say that will ever make me want to leave you.” I don’t care that I’m reduced to pleading with her. It’s important she knows that people leaving her isn’t her fault, that they never deserved her.
She just stares at me, not looking convinced at all.
I sigh. I’m quickly realising that the only way I’m going to get Ollie to trust me is to lay myself bare to her.
Maybe then she’ll open up to me. “It wasn’t anything you said—well, it was—but I was just thinking about those people who’ve caused you pain in your past and how I want them to hurt like they hurt you.
And that reminded me of my father…” I trail off and swallow hard.
The only people who know just what a piece of shit my sperm donor was are Rhys, Theo, and my therapist. “My father was abusive. He blamed me for killing my mum when I was born, and he’d often take his frustration out on me or his wives.”
It was a relief when he finally gave up trying to pretend to be a parent to me and allowed me to board at school.
Sure, holidays were torture, but dealing with him for only a few months of the year was a million times better than having him beat me almost daily.
Even now my back still harbours some scars from his ‘parenting’, although I allow everyone to think they’re from rugby.
“Is that what you think?” Ollie asks quietly, breaking me from my thoughts. “That you’re like him?”
I shrug. “Sometimes it crosses my mind, especially when I get angry and lose control. You’ve seen the damage I can do with my fists when I attacked the guy that was on top of you when we first met, and I wasn’t even pissed off.
” Just the thought of losing control is enough to make bile burn my throat.
Ollie grabs my hand and squeezes as she gazes up at me, her eyes shining with understanding.
“While I’ve only known you for a short time, I can say with certainty that you are nothing like that monster.
You’re sweet, sensitive and caring. I’ve never felt unsafe around you, not even when I first met you.
And I’m sure if you were anything like your dad, Rhys and Theo wouldn’t be like brothers to you. ”
My brows furrow. While she sounds genuine, it’s hard to let go of the lingering fear that one day I’ll end up just like him; bitter and angry. At least I no longer think I deserved his abuse—that took several years of therapy to get rid of.
“Alex, listen to me,” she says sharply. Gone is the hollowness and neutrality her voice had before. “You aren’t a monster. There’s not a bad bone in your body.” She reaches up and places a hand on my cheek, her palm warm against my skin. “If there was, I wouldn’t do this…”
Before I can ask what ‘this’ is, she stands on her tiptoes, grabs the back of my head, and pulls me down to press her lips against mine.
Electricity rushes straight to my chest and then down to my cock as her soft, feminine body presses against mine.
Fuck. She feels like heaven and so much better than I imagined.
A groan rumbles in my chest as I move my lips against her plush ones while threading my hand through the hair at the base of her skull, not caring that I’m messing up her braid.
She sighs into my mouth, her lips parting and giving me the chance to twine my tongue with hers.
Her body shudders and while one hand stays on my cheek, the other grasps my shoulder.
The bite of her nails into my skin only adds to the pleasure humming through my veins as I imagine her marking me with little half-moons.
I growl and deepen the kiss as I push her backward until I have her pinned against the wall. My straining cock presses against the softness of her stomach and I crush my chest against her tits.
The things I want to do to this woman… I want to spin her around, bend her over, and fuck her with my tongue until she’s gushing over my face.
Or have her legs wrapped around my waist as I plunge my cock into her sweet pussy over and over until she’s screaming my name.
So many possibilities, but I can’t do any of them here.
No, she deserves so much more than a quick fuck against the side of a warehouse. She deserves for me to take my time, to worship every inch of her beautiful body and make her come several times before I even think about fucking her. Especially with my size. Last thing I want is to hurt her.
“I didn’t leave you two out here so you could suck each other’s fucking faces,” Rhys snarls, causing Ollie to gasp and rip her mouth from mine.
We both turn our heads to find Rhys and Theo standing next to the front door to the cottage.
Rhys’s face is red with rage, his amber eyes molten with fury as he glares at me.
I expect Theo to have the same expression, but he doesn’t.
He looks thoughtful and if anything, that’s worse, because I know exactly what he’s thinking.
He thinks he can convince us to share Ollie just like we did with Willow.
Not a fucking chance.
Ollie pushes at my shoulder, her eyes wide with panic. Her lips are swollen and her face is flushed from our kiss. Honestly, it’s a good look on her and I can’t wait to see what she looks like after I make her come. She shoves at my shoulder again, and I sigh as I take a reluctant step back.
“Just because you’re jealous doesn’t mean you have to be a prick about it,” I snap at Rhys as I scowl at him. I swear if him being a massive wanker sets me back with Ollie, my fist will become well acquainted with his stupid face.
“I’m not jealous,” he scoffs. “Just pissed that I ordered you to keep a lookout in case any infected or the Scourge ambushed us. You do realise we’re not far from their base camp, right?”
Yeah, sure. Keep telling yourself that. I see the way his eyes keep flicking to Ollie and her flushed face and kiss-swollen lips. He’s practically green with envy.
I smirk at him. Yeah, asshole. I did that, not you.
His jaw clenches, and his eyes flash with anger. “Let’s get moving. I want us to get another two miles in before the sun goes down.” His gaze lingers on Ollie for a moment longer before he turns and stalks away.
Theo blows out a breath and shakes his head. “You couldn’t have waited?”
My eyes narrow at him. “Wait for what? We both know that’s not happening again.” No way am I sharing Ollie. She’s mine and only mine.
“What’s not happening again?” the woman in question asks as she glances between me and Theo in confusion.
“Don’t worry about it,” I tell her before Theo can open his big mouth and ruin this for me. “We should move before Rhys turns around and tears us all new assholes for not following him fast enough.”
I can see the suspicion in Ollie’s eyes as she narrows them at me, but I ignore her. I grab Bean’s reins and lead the mare to her. As Ollie mounts the mare, I place a hand on her knee to stop her from moving the horse on.
“Don’t worry about what they think, sweetheart,” I say softly as I look up at her with pleading eyes. “There’s nothing wrong with what we did, no matter what that prick thinks.”
Indecision wars in her eyes as she bites her lip and gives me a reluctant nod.
Squeezing her knee in what I hope is a reassuring gesture, I let my hand drop and step away from her.
She nudges Bean on and I fall in step beside the mare and Harlow while silently cursing Rhys and Theo for interrupting.
I can already feel her slipping away from me again and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it. All I can hope is that she eventually finds her way back to me.