15. Skylar
Skylar
T he house was so empty without Sean and Cian in it.
Every noise outside seemed louder, every creak of the roof and walls scarier without their comforting presence.
Sean had come back once and been here overnight and most of the day, but he had left again.
He only smiled when I anxiously asked about Cian, who had been absent for five days this time.
“He has it all under control, Skylar. It’s all good.”
“Is he okay?”
He patted my shoulder. “He will be. This will be over soon. I promise.”
There was lots of food in the house, as Cian said. Sean had brought plenty of books, puzzles, and even movies for me to watch to pass the time. I was so anxious, though, I spent most of the time staring at the blank phone screen, waiting for the one word a day I would get to know they were okay.
They were funny words that always made me smile.
MacGyver
Sandwich
Ice
Clutch
Kitten
Words only I would understand, so I knew they came from Cian. I kept the phone with me at all times. I slept fitfully, huddled under the blankets on Cian’s bed, hugging his pillow that smelled so strongly of him.
I put on the boots and coat he’d had Sean buy me and walked outside, up and down the driveway every day.
I eyeballed the snowmobile but resisted the temptation to drive it into town and walk down the streets just to pass time.
Cian was too anxious about me being seen.
I tried to eat, but my appetite was lacking.
I did spend some time cooking the fresh items Sean had left and putting them in the freezer, thinking Cian would like them when he came back.
Because he would come back.
He promised.
After Sean left again, it occurred to me that maybe Cian could see me via the camera in my old room.
I wondered if he ever looked to check up on me.
Feeling slightly foolish, I sat on the end of the bed, remembering he had said he could see me there.
I looked at the wall I assumed was somehow hiding the lens and smiled.
“I miss you. I made you some food—no drugs—I promise. I’m waiting for you.
” I held up my sketch pad, showing him a new watercolor.
It was a sandy beach scene with the ocean in the background—the sort you saw on postcards or travel magazines.
“I’m imagining us here when this is done. I think you owe me a vacation.”
I started to get up, then sat back down and crossed my arms. “And did you have to take the gray T-shirt, fuckwit? I liked that one. I want it back. Don’t wash it either. I want it to smell like you.”
Then I left the room, knowing if he saw that, it would make him smile.
I woke up, my body on high alert, every sense screaming.
Something had woken me—something wasn’t right.
I scanned the darkness of the room, holding my breath.
I carefully reached for the cell phone I kept beside me, already knowing the sequence to use to hit the emergency number Cian had left for me.
I could see nothing in the inky black of the night, but a sudden creak on the far side of the room caused my heart to race.
I peered into the corner, unsure if I was imagining things or if there was indeed a figure there.
The dark shadow moved, and my breath caught.
I wasn’t alone.
Sheer panic locked me down, and before I could do anything, the shadow moved again.
“Kitten…it’s me, baby.”
A gasp left my mouth, and with a startled cry, I flung myself blindly toward Cian. He caught me easily, his cold arms wrapping me close. “I’m sorry. You were sleeping, and I didn’t want to wake you. I was walking away, and the floor creaked,” he murmured into my neck.
Sobbing, I shook my head. “You’re here. You’re safe!”
He held me closer. “I’m here.”
Our lips found each other’s in the darkness, reconnecting us.
His breath filled my mouth, his taste overwhelming me.
Passion only he had ever evoked filled me up.
We fell back on the mattress, a tangled mass of arms and legs, both of us trying to get as close as possible.
His nimble fingers delved under the shirt I was wearing, the icy feeling of his skin against mine making me shiver.
“I brought your shirt back,” he said as his lips caressed my skin.
“Good. Take it off.”
He laughed low in his throat as his shirt flew over his head. I heard the low growl of his zipper being pulled down, then he was back on me.
“I missed you.” He sucked my lobe into his mouth, nipping and licking. “How is it possible I missed you so much?”
I gasped as his large hands cupped my breasts, stroking and teasing my nipples, making me groan with pleasure.
He pressed his lips to mine. “I want you, Skylar.”
I half sobbed into his mouth. “I want you.”
My shirt disappeared, leaving only my boy shorts.
Cian’s bare chest heaved into mine, his weight pressing us into the mattress.
His mouth was possessive, his kisses deep and carnal.
My body trembled as he took control, overwhelming my senses.
I was lost to the taste of him, the feel of his body melding with mine.
We were moving so fast. His erection was pressed between us, hard, hot, and heavy. His mouth and hands were everywhere, stroking, licking, nipping, and teasing. His groans and pleas were loud. He was spiraling out of control, his careful facade cracking. I could feel his entire body shaking.
“I need you. I need you so fucking much.”
“Cian…”
“Please, baby. I need to be inside you.” His fingers slipped between my legs. “Oh God, Skylar. You want me. You’re so ready. Tell me you want me.”
“I do,” I gasped. “But, Cian…”
“I’m clean. I’ll use a condom too.” He stroked my folds, teasing me where I wanted him—needed him—to be. “I’ll make it good for you. I promise.”
I arched and gasped as he covered my nipple with his mouth, flicking his tongue and sucking hard.
“Cian,” I pleaded. “How old were you when you lost your virginity?”
He groaned against my neck. “Fifteen, Skylar. I was fucking fifteen.” He bit down, his tongue swirling over the sting right away. “We’ll discuss all that later. Please, baby.” He slid between my legs. “Let me in.”
I closed my eyes as I felt his cock nudging my entrance.
“I was twenty-three,” I whispered.
Cian
I was so lost in the taste and feel of her under me, I almost missed her whisper.
She was twenty-three. That piece of information filtered into my lust-clouded brain.
Twenty-three. That’s how old she was now.
I froze.
She was trying to tell me she was still a virgin. One I was about to slam into, with no regard for her innocence.
I would be her first.
I gaped down at her in the darkness, my eyes seeing her wide stare in the dull glow of moonlight from the window.
“You don’t have to stop, Cian.” Her voice was soft and full of emotion. “But…” She sighed quietly. “I just thought you should know.”
I should know? I should more than fucking know.
I needed to make sure she was okay. I needed to make this special for her.
“Skylar,” I murmured. “Are you sure?”
“I want you.”
“I want you too.” I dropped soft kisses onto her mouth. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t want you to think…to change your mind.”
“Oh, Kitten, the fact that you’re a virgin won’t change my mind.”
“No?” she breathed.
I kissed her again. Long, deep, and hard.
“No, but how I make love to you will be different. I’m going to make you mine. Completely.”
“Show me,” she pleaded. “I want to be yours.”
I did as she asked. I kept my hands gentle as I caressed her, taking my time until she was panting with pleasure again.
I traced my lips over her neck and down her chest, tasting her skin and using my tongue to discover the dips and curves of her body.
Words tumbled from my mouth—how beautiful she was, how much I wanted her.
I used a low voice and tender touches until she relaxed, both her body and heart ready for the next step.
I taught her slowly, ignoring my own throbbing need, determined she would come first. I used my mouth and fingers until she was crying out in pleasure, my name a pleading, breathy sigh on her lips.
Only when she pulled me close, cradling me between her legs, did I make her mine, gently taking her until I was buried deep in her warmth, joined with her in the most intimate of ways.
I hovered over her, still and waiting, as her body tensed and adjusted to me.
Running my hand through her hair, I pulled her mouth to mine, kissing her until she moaned and arched into me.
Never breaking from her mouth, I began to move in long, slow thrusts.
I praised her quietly as she moved with me, the two of us learning to love together.
When she fell apart under me, I buried my face into her neck, groaning out my release, my orgasm hot and intense.
She clung to me, keeping me close, her face still nestled in my neck. I slid from her and disposed of the condom, then returned, wrapping my arms around her. I rolled us so we were face-to-face. Slipping my fingers under her chin, I raised her face, kissing her breathless. “Are you okay?”
She nodded. “I’m good, Cian. More than good.”
“Why are you crying?” I asked, wiping the moisture on her cheeks. “Did I hurt you?”
“No.”
“Then why?”
“I always imagined my first time a certain way, I guess.”
I felt a strange crack in my chest at her words.
I had disappointed her?
Struggling to keep my voice even, I brushed another kiss on her forehead. “And?”
“It was so much more powerful than I expected. So—” she sighed, “— so beautiful , Cian.” She nuzzled my chin. “Thank you for giving me that.”
“You’re the beautiful one, Skylar.”
“You make me feel that way.”
I tightened my arms. “You are.”
She snuggled deeper into my embrace. I ran my fingers through her hair, enjoying the silkiness of the strands. “I can’t let you go now, Skylar.”
“I don’t want you to.”
“You’ll have to start over again with me. You might have to have a new name, new life. All of it.”
“I’m not leaving anything. As long as I’m with you, that’s all that matters. Not what you call me or where I live.”
“I’ll call you mine. Always mine. I love you, Kitten.”
“I love you, Cian.”
I pressed my lips to her forehead.
“How long?” She wondered into the darkness. “How long until you leave?”
“Only a few hours.”
“Is it bad?”
My chest twisted at her quiet words. I had promised her honesty.
“Some moments, I can barely breathe.”
She pressed herself closer. “I want to help.”
“You do help. Knowing you’re here helps.”
“How did you get away?”
I snickered. “Sean. Thanks to him and his technical gadgets, Orson thinks I’m passed out after pounding back an entire bottle of whiskey and regaling him with stories of some of my hits.
Carlo dragged my sorry ass down the hall and left me sleeping in the bathtub.
I slipped out like a snake through the back. ”
“You were drinking?”
“Iced tea.”
“Oh.”
“I had to get to you. I needed to hold you, to feel you.”
“Well, you certainly felt me.”
I drew back, grinning down at her. “Did you just make a joke of our first time, Kitten?”
Her giggle was light, and she kissed my chest. “Never, fuckwit.”
She gasped as I rolled, pinning her under me. “Do I need to remind you how unfunny that was?”
“Um, maybe?”
I brushed my lips over her jaw, trailing kisses to her ear. “Are you sore, baby?”
Her legs wrapped around me, pulling me closer to her warmth. “I want to be sorer.”
I groaned. “Skylar…”
“Please,” she whispered against my lips. “Make me yours again.”
As if I could say no to her.
“Bath first. Then…slow, Kitten. We do this slowly.”
She hummed into my neck, arching her warmth against my growing erection. “Bath,” she agreed.
I carried her into the bathroom, wishing I had days, not hours, with her.
As soon as this was over, I would make it up to her.
Repeatedly.