Chapter 27
Sadie
My heart thundered so furiously in my chest that I was convinced it pressed through the silky fabric of my blouse.
I watched Jeremiah carefully as he just stared and stared at the stick I held shakily in my hand.
His expression was unreadable. My heart was beating even faster now.
It was a wonder he couldn’t hear it. I pulled the pregnancy test back, clutching it to my chest tightly, trying to rein in my emotions that had been on the ride of their life ever since I read the words pregnant in the Starbucks bathroom.
When I read the word, I would have crumpled to the floor if it weren’t for the knock at the door that startled me.
I had quickly grabbed the test and crammed it in my purse, tossed the box in the trash, and ran out of the bathroom, nearly knocking over the waiting customer.
The next thing I knew, I was here in Jeremiah’s office feeling like I was about to jump off a cliff.
I was still falling now, waiting for any sign of understanding from his beautiful, unreadable face.
I swallowed hard before steadying my voice as best as I could. “It’s yours,” I said.
His eyes lifted from the pregnancy test I pressed against my chest and found mine.
“You’re the only person I’ve been with in months,” I added, the slightest firmness in my voice.
Without saying a word, Jeremiah got to his feet slowly and walked toward the large window, placing his hands behind his back.
I watched him carefully from where I sat, still clutching the test. I tried to read his body language.
His muscles were tense under his pale blue suit.
His stance was one he bore often, lending itself as a stance for his many emotions.
It gave me no inkling as to what he was thinking. What he was feeling.
Was he angry? Confused? Scared? All of the above?
I knew my own feelings were all over the place.
I couldn’t imagine his were any different with the bomb I had just dropped on him.
It was sad, but I knew out of all the feelings that were probably swirling around inside him, happiness probably wasn’t one of them.
Hell, I wasn’t sure if it was at the top of my own list in this moment.
I was terrified. That trumped everything else.
“I’m sorry,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper.
It was his turn not to respond. I wondered if he heard me, so I tried again.
“I’m sorry this happened,” I said louder this time. “I’m sorry for messing up your life and your plans. I know this isn’t what you wanted. It’s not what I wanted either.”
I felt the tears begin to burn again at the back of my eyes, and furiously blinked them back.
It was already embarrassing to cry once in front of him.
But the words I had just spoken about not wanting this sent a pang of guilt through me, for the baby that I just found out was growing inside me.
I clutched my stomach as the thought rocketed through me.
Jeremiah slowly turned from the window toward me, his expression darker than before.
“Are you sure this isn’t what you wanted?” he said, each word sharp and precise.
I looked at him confused, not understanding. “What?”
“Maybe this is exactly what you wanted.”
“I-I don’t understand…”
I had no idea what he was talking about, but the unreadable expression on his face had vanished and was replaced by a sneer I had never seen before. It made my thundering heart feel like it had simply stopped beating in my chest. I knew nothing good would come from his mouth.
“And to think I had fallen for your little Miss Goody Two-Shoes act,” he said with a shake of his head.
“Jeremiah…”
“You planned it all out, didn’t you?” His eyes were a storm as they narrowed in on me. I could feel the crackle of lightning ready to strike. “Breaking into my apartment that night. And to think I was impressed. I didn’t think to realize you actually were a thief.”
“I didn’t steal anything!”
“Not then, no. But you knew what you were doing when you concocted this little plan of yours to get my money. You knew who I was when you inserted yourself into my life. And in such a clever way too. A box of sex toys.” He scoffed. “It would have been a funny story, if it wasn’t all bullshit.”
None of this made sense. What plan was he talking about? I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. I didn’t know how to respond, but he didn’t give me time to before he continued.
“I foolishly fell into your trap, feeling bad for your lack of sexual prowess. And then you just so happened to be my personal assistant starting the very next day. You could have sued me for taking advantage of you as an employee, but no. That would have been too easy, wouldn’t it?
Why go for the silver when you could have the gold? ”
“Jeremiah, please. I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said, my voice shaky.
“A lawsuit would have been too easy. You knew you could have more money if you got
‘accidentally’ pregnant.” He held his fingers up in air quotations as he looked briefly down at the pregnancy test like it was the most disgusting thing he’d ever laid eyes on.
But then his eyes found mine again, and I had never felt so low in my life.
He looked at me as if I were a parasite, and all his musings began to make sense.
He thought this entire thing between us had been some devised plan I had come up with to get money from him.
The diabolical plan he had formed in his head didn’t even make sense, but I could tell he had already convinced himself.
His accusation stung like a slap to the face, but the way he looked at me hurt more.
I was nothing to him. Everything we had shared up until now was nothing but a ploy to him.
I refused to accept his version of the story.
I stood up quickly from my chair, making it skid backward loudly across the stained concrete floor. I could feel the anger rise up. I refused to be meek. Refused to step down. Refused to let my hurt show. Not when he was accusing me of such horrible things.
“You are an asshole,” I said through my clenched teeth.
He shrugged, which pissed me off even more.
“For even thinking that. For even saying it out loud. You are an asshole.” My voice shook, not from fear or sadness, but from rage.
He glared at me, but before he could say anything, I tore into him.
“Do you really think I would want you to be the father of my baby?” I sneered. “You are the last person I would ever want to share a child with.”
My words hit him off guard because the storm in his eyes begins to clear, leaving gray clouds in its wake, but I didn’t stop.
“You are cold. Cruel. Callous.” I laughed coldly. “You are the furthest thing from father material.”
“Honestly, if anyone should be questioning the other’s morals, it’s me.”
I may as well have sprouted another head with the way that Jeremiah looked at me.
“And your money doesn’t matter to me. You’re the one who cares about status.
You’re the one who insisted on buying me new, fancy clothes because you couldn’t have anyone reflect poorly on you.
You hide behind your flashy cars and your designer watches, up in your penthouse tower, but let me tell you something…
none of it hides the fact that you can’t be open and honest without a fucking bottle of wine in you. ”
My words dug into him like shrapnel from a grenade that had just gone off, his face wincing with each continued blow. It felt too good to feel bad for him. He wanted me to speak up. To take up space. Well, here I was. The invention of his own making.
“I should have known you’d do this. Ruin this.” I pointed between us. “You’d rather destroy everyone around you because it means you’re in control.”
The thought saddened me, a hairline fracture to my heart. I couldn’t see anything but a ruined man before me. One that I had been so close to falling for. Maybe I had.
I didn’t dwell on it as I lifted my chin slightly. I turned and placed the pregnancy test back in my purse before turning for the door. Before I opened it, I said heatedly over my shoulder, “And before you ask, I’m keeping this baby and I really don’t care what you have to say about it.”
I yanked the door open and stepped through it before slamming it loudly behind me. Everyone in the office looked up suddenly, surprise on their faces. I tried to ignore their curious eyes and hushed whispers. I quickly sat down at my desk, refusing to let anyone see me cry. What would they think?
A rush of emotions crashed into me now that I was out of that room with the man I thought I was coming to know. Sadness for what could have been. Anger for what he made it into. Fear for what was to come.
I was furious with him that he would even jump to such a horrendous conclusion about me.
As if I were the type of person who would ever try to trap someone with a baby to get money.
It would be almost laughable if it didn’t hurt so badly.
I thought he knew me, but I was clearly mistaken. How could his opinion of me be so low?
I thought we had turned some sort of page in Dallas, like we were starting a new chapter.
What that chapter entailed, I wasn’t sure, but I was excited for it because I thought he would be in it.
Now, I realized he was in it. Briefly, before he became the villain that shattered me into a million little pieces.
How embarrassing was I to think he would ever be with someone like me?
I shook my head, internally berating myself for my foolishness.
I couldn’t stand to be here a minute longer, knowing he was just on the other side of that door.
I stood up suddenly, grabbing my purse from my desk, before storming toward the elevators.
“Sadie?” asked Tanya warily as she eyed me from her desk. “Is everything okay?”
“No, it’s really not.” I pressed the button for the elevator, looking behind me to make sure he wasn’t following me.
“Where are you going?”
“Home,” I said definitely.
“But, what about Mr. Mason?” she asked, throwing a cautious look toward his door.
“What about him?” I rolled my eyes, tapping my foot impatiently.
I didn’t want to be here anymore. Didn’t want to talk about him. Didn’t want to care about any of this. None of it mattered anymore.
“You could lose your job.” Her eyebrows lifted with worry.
As the elevator doors opened, I stepped inside. “Then so be it.”
I pressed the button for the lobby and the doors closed, sealing me inside a small box of solitude where I finally let my tears fall. It was like every quickened heartbeat I had when Jeremiah was around. Every look cast my way. Every touch. Every kiss poured out of me in quiet sobs.
When the doors opened to the lobby, I swiped my tears away and walked swiftly for the door.
I didn’t look back. I didn’t care if it would be my last time in this building.
I just needed to get home and seal myself inside.
I needed to process everything. I needed to talk to someone who actually cared about me.
I just hoped Gabriella would pick up. Damn her for being in Boston when I needed her most.
And damn me for being the world’s biggest idiot.