Chapter 30
Jeremiah
After leaving Sadie’s apartment the night I apologized and offered to have her move in with me, I spent the next two days researching the best obstetricians in New York City.
She hadn’t asked me to, but I could see how lost she was by just one look into her green eyes, alit with worry and fear in a fast-paced dance.
She really hadn’t asked me for anything in the few days that had passed since she came into my office shakily with that pregnancy test that changed our lives forever.
Maybe it was her pride or her stubbornness.
Or maybe it was because I had been such an asshole that she knew better than to ask anything of me, even though I was the father of her baby. Our baby.
Either way, I was determined to give her everything she needed.
I wanted to take care of her. Now that we had come to an agreement that this would remain a secret, I felt a breath of relief that we were on the same page.
She understood. I should never have doubted that she wouldn’t.
In the brief two months I had come to know Sadie, she seemed to understand me more than most people.
After finding the top-reviewed obstetrician in the city, I placed a call and made an appointment for Sadie.
I carefully left my name out. Though doctors were discreet and had to adhere to certain privacy laws, I wasn’t so sure that the front desk would be as apt to following those same procedures.
One slip of a name at a brunch with a girlfriend, and my name would be in the paper.
Thankfully, they didn’t ask, and I was able to get an appointment for later today.
I still had to tell Sadie, though.
When I arrived at the office, she was already at her desk, scanning her computer.
When she saw me approaching, she gave me a curious look, which I returned with a warm smile.
She was probably wondering why her to-do list was a quarter of the size of what it usually was.
I didn’t need her running herself ragged when she was newly pregnant.
Plus, my days of testing whether she was up to the challenge of being my personal assistant were over.
“A pretty light load today,” she said, her eyes glancing back at the computer screen’s glow.
“Yeah, well. You’ve got a…”
I almost said “baby to grow,” but stopped myself.
“Lot on your plate,” I finished.
She laughed softly.
“Can you join me in my office for a moment?” I asked, casually glancing around the office. Now that we had an even bigger secret to keep than just us sleeping together, my guard was up. But no one seemed to be paying any mind to our usual routine. She was my assistant after all.
Sadie nodded and stood from her desk. She wore a light pink tweed dress that complemented her fair skin, and I swore she glowed more than usual.
Maybe it was the pregnancy, or maybe she was just that goddamn beautiful.
She tossed her auburn hair over her shoulder and walked toward me.
My eyes wandered over her as they usually did, but stopped on her midsection.
Of course, there was no bump to be seen.
Yet.
I briefly felt a sense of panic, knowing she wouldn’t be able to hide her pregnancy forever. She could try a few tricks with her clothing to camouflage her bump, but eventually there would be no hiding it. I pushed it out of my mind. One thing at a time.
I followed her into my office, closing the door behind me gently. The last time we were in here, we had both said scathing words that I wasn’t sure we would ever come back from. Yet, here she was. Giving me another chance.
“I made an appointment for us today.”
“Appointment?” she asked, raising a curious brow as she settled into the armchair across from my desk.
I sat across from her, unbuttoning the front lapels of my navy-blue suit and settling into my chair.
“I found a brilliant obstetrician. She’s not far. On the Upper Eastside.”
“You found a doctor for me?” she asked in surprise.
I wondered if she was irritated with me. If I had crossed a line.
“I just know you’re overwhelmed. I wanted to do something to help.”
“But you’re already doing so much, Jeremiah.”
“Hardly.”
“You’re letting me move in with you. You’re taking it easy on me at work now.”
“And I’m coming with you to today’s appointment…” I said with an easy smile.
Her eyes widened slightly.
“If that’s okay?” I asked hesitantly.
“Of course. It’s today though?” She shifted in her seat nervously, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
“It’s as good a time as any.” I shrugged.
She nodded. I knew it was a lot for her. For both of us. I hoped I wasn’t pushing too much. I just wanted to do everything right.
“Thank you,” she said with a sincerity that met her eyes that were now rimmed with tears.
“Hey, hey. Don’t cry,” I said softly, reaching across my desk as an invitation for her hand to join mine. She laid hers gently in the center of my palm and I soaked in the kiss of warmth.
“It’s just…you’re doing so much for me.”
“For us.” I clarified. “For the baby.”
Three hours later, Sadie and I let Tanya at the front desk know we were heading out for a meeting and lunch.
She nodded, not showing any sign that this was unusual.
It wasn’t. We did this all the time, but we usually weren’t lying about it.
Sadie seemed to breathe a small sigh of relief as the elevator doors closed, sealing us in privacy.
“We’re okay,” I assured her, placing my hand on the small of her back before removing it as the doors opened to the lobby.
We took my town car across town to the tall, white brick building where our appointment was. Sadie looked up at the quaint building, reading the doctor’s name in the gold letters by the door. It was hitting us both in that moment, what we were about to do. How real this was all becoming.
“You ready?” I asked with ease that I mustered up, despite my nerves.
“How are you so calm about this?” she asked, shaking her head as I opened the glass door to the building.
“I’m not. I’m just trying to make you feel better.” I winked.
She laughed softly before lifting up on her tiptoes.
“Thank you,” she whispered in my ear before pressing her lips against my cheek, and walking past me.
In the lobby, we sat on one of the light blue couches while Sadie filled out paperwork.
I eyed the front desk clerks carefully, but they showed no sign of recognition as to who I was.
Still, I discreetly kept my back to them, aside from an occasional glance over the shoulder.
Sadie walked her clipboard of paperwork up to the glass window and soon we were being called back.
In the exam room, a nurse took Sadie’s vitals and chatted warmly about this being her first pregnancy and how exciting it was.
She seemed to put Sadie’s mind at ease, and I wished I could slip her a hundred-dollar bill just for her kindness.
She had Sadie take another pregnancy test in the bathroom before leading her back to join me in the exam room.
Soon, a woman with raven hair pulled into a long braid came in and we both sat up a little straighter.
“Hello, I’m Doctor Lambert. You must be Sadie,” she said warmly, holding out a hand.
Sadie introduced herself and shook her hand, before the doctor turned to me and held her hand to me.
“I’m Jeremiah,” I said, searching her eyes for any recognition, but thankfully she didn’t let anything show. She either had one hell of a poker face or didn’t recognize me. I hoped for the latter.
“I see on your paperwork this is your first pregnancy. What an exciting time!” said Doctor Lambert, smiling enthusiastically at us both as she took a seat on a swivel stool. “Based on your test and what you shared on your paperwork, the baby is about six weeks along.”
Sadie turned to me wide eyed. Six weeks of not knowing a thing. I smiled at her reassuringly.
The doctor continued. “Baby is about the size of a pea.” She held up her hand, holding two fingers together to show us just how itty bitty it was.
“Wow,” I said, shaking my head. “It’s so small.”
Sadie clutched her stomach as she looked down lovingly, tears in her eyes. It was a beautiful moment. I took a mental snapshot. Doctor Lambert let us have a moment to soak it all in as she smiled on, probably used to this moment with all parents who came through here.
“It’s early, and I’m sure overwhelming, but do you have any questions for me?” asked Doctor Lambert, looking from Sadie to me.
Questions came pouring out of me unexpectedly.
Asking about foods to avoid, prenatal vitamins to take, what symptoms to look for.
These were all things I had skimmed over in my search results from looking for a doctor, and they all flooded back to me now in curious word vomit.
The doctor answered my questions patiently, all while Sadie looked at me with a small smile across her lips.
Once she had answered all my questions, and Sadie’s when she could get a word in, she said, “We’ll have you back at the twelve-week mark for your first ultrasound.”
That was six weeks from now. It felt so far away. I already felt impatient knowing we would get a first glimpse at the baby.
“In the meantime, just soak it all in. Congrats, you two.”
Sadie and I both thanked her and she left the room with a little wave.
“She’s incredible,” said Sadie, her smile growing wide. “Thank you for finding her.”
“Of course.” I nodded.
“And you were incredible. How did you know to ask all those questions?”
“A little light reading,” I replied with a shrug.
She shook her head in awe before I helped her down from the exam table.
We found a café near the doctor’s office for lunch, after I insisted Sadie eat something.
She was eating for two now, I reminded her.
She had rolled her eyes, but then proceeded to order a salad, a grilled chicken sandwich, French fries, and a decaf iced tea for herself.
I chuckled before ordering a tomato soup, grilled cheese, and a green tea.
We settled in at a table nestled in the corner by the window and a few shelves housing an array of bound journals, stationery, and a few books.
As we waited for our food, I felt my stomach drop when my eyes landed on Anderson’s book on the wooden shelf next to us.
I had almost forgotten about it with everything going on.
I pulled a copy from the shelf as Sadie sipped on her decaf iced tea and admired the stationery.
I tried to look casual, unpanicked, as I flipped through the pages, searching for any sign of me in the black print.
“What are you looking for?” asked Sadie innocently, not having any idea that I had a history with the author.
Just then, my eyes landed on a paragraph and my mouth dried out immediately. My stomach hollowed.
The bastard didn’t even change my name?
I shut the book and quickly placed it back on the shelf without saying a word.
Before Sadie could ask questions, our food came as if by some divine intervention.
I tried to push Anderson and his book from my head, even though he was staring back at me from the shelf, as I looked at Sadie who was happily munching on fries.
This was what mattered. Anderson was not worth my time.