Chapter 29
Sadie
“What are you going to do now?” asked Gabriella, her voice soft with caution on the other line.
The sounds of evening traffic surrounded me as I walked the blocks surrounding my apartment building, creating a weirdly soothing melody of shuffling feet and honking horns.
I didn’t know how long I had been out here.
All I knew was that a walk and a talk with my best friend were needed after today.
“I’m not sure,” I said softly, leaning against the glass wall of the apartment building.
I placed my hand on my non-existent bump, trying to feel something.
Obviously not a kick, but a feeling that this was real.
That this was happening. The shock hadn’t worn off yet, being that I was pregnant and that Jeremiah was the father.
I could still see the word pregnant, as if it were etched into my line of vision, making everything else fade in importance. Alongside it, I could still see that awful sneer on Jeremiah’s face when he found out he was the father. My heart cracked a little more every time I replayed his awful words.
My voice had shook as I recanted everything to Gabriella, not because I was scared she would judge me, but because of the hurt of it all.
She was shocked at first. Absolutely shocked.
But once she got over her silent stupor, she was excited for the baby, despite its father being an asshole as she had said loudly over the phone.
I was surprised passersby couldn’t hear her booming voice.
“You know I’m here for you. Whatever you need.”
“Thanks. I wish you were here.”
“Me too. Did you tell Erica yet?”
“No, you’re the first one I called. I’ll tell her soon.”
“Well, I’m honored. I’m going to be an aunt!” she squealed excitedly.
“Love you, Gabs. Thanks for listening.”
“Love you, too, Sadie. Talk to you soon.”
I hung up and smiled down at my phone. Despite the circumstances, her excitement made my worry ease a little.
I was still terrified of what was to come.
My life was messy. Not exactly ideal for bringing a baby into the world, but I knew I had good friends who would be behind me. That was all I needed.
Well, a new, cheaper apartment too.
And probably a new job.
And enough money to pay off my debt and prepare for a baby.
I sighed. I would have to figure it out soon.
My stomach grumbled, signaling that it was dinnertime.
I pushed off from the wall and turned the corner toward the lobby doors.
I greeted the doorman and strode through the lobby with my head down, not wanting to catch a possible sighting of Jeremiah.
But when the elevator doors opened and I step off, I stopped in my tracks.
There he was, in the same fitted blue suit from today, leaning against the wall next to my door.
It was almost annoying how put together he looked, even after the day we had had.
There wasn’t one hair out of place. Just once, I’d love to see him sloppy or lose his composure.
Even in Dallas, hammered from a bottle of wine, he was still dreamy. Damn him for being so handsome.
I swallowed hard as I debated fleeing, but then his piercing blue eyes found mine. The storm from earlier had cleared, and there was something else in them now as they looked at me. Remorse. This little glimpse of humanity had me walking toward him.
He pushed off the wall at my approach, his hands still tucked in his pockets. “Can we talk?” he asked softly.
“We have nothing to talk about,” I said coolly as I rummaged through my purse for my keys.
“Sadie, please…”
“I’m really not in the mood to be bulldozed.” I pulled my keys from my purse and inserted them into the lock. Before I could turn them, Jeremiah placed his hand on mine. I looked up at him sharply, trying to keep my icy composure.
“Please, let’s go inside. I just want to talk. I want to apologize.”
I arched a brow and scoffed. “You? Say sorry?”
“Look, despite what you might think about me, I am capable of feeling remorse. And I’m not too proud to say sorry when I’ve screwed up.”
I gazed up at him a moment longer, lost in his blue eyes and lost in his words that seemed genuine. With his hand still on mine, I turned the key in the door and pushed it open. I nodded for him to come inside.
I set my purse on the small entryway table and strode to the couch. Jeremiah hesitated for a moment, wondering if he should join me where I sat with my back straight and my chin turned up. I may have let him in, but my feelings were still a jumbled mess of anger and confusion.
He took a deep breath and joined me on the couch, making sure to put a good few feet between us. Even with the small amount of distance, I breathed in his rich cologne and tried not to melt under its aroma. Damn him for being handsome. And damn him for smelling so good.
“I spent all day thinking about how I treated you,” he said softly. “I was an asshole.”
“That’s an understatement,” I muttered.
He ignored my snide remark and continued.
“I got so scared when you told me you were pregnant that I immediately went into defense mode. When you’re in my…
position, it’s hard to trust people. It’s hard to know what they really want from you.
It’s probably why I do tend to hide behind my work. It’s more black and white.”
“That’s a sad way to live,” I said softly.
He shrugged. “It’s the only way I really know.”
I nodded, a gesture to let him know I accepted his apology. I would never understand what it was to be a billionaire or a person in power, but I tried to put myself in his shoes. It was true what they said—it was lonely at the top.
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
I shrugged. “The same. I don’t know. I guess this explains those bouts of nausea I was having.”
He nodded before looking out the window behind me. Darkness had settled in, leaving the city lights to compete against the stars. He looked like he was deep in thought before turning back to me.
“What do you need from me?” he asked.
His question took me off guard, its sincerity wrapping around me like a warm hug.
But a part of me still pushed him away. Still questioned him.
Why the sudden kindness? Is he just trying to protect himself, thinking I would go public with all this?
I studied him briefly, trying to make sense of him.
“Nothing,” I said, though it was a lie. I needed a lot, but this was a mess I had made for myself. Not the baby. Clearly, that took the two of us. But the fact that I was in debt in an apartment that wasn’t technically mine was my mess to figure out.
He cocked his head, not quite believing me.
“I have to make a doctor’s appointment.” I shrugged. “I guess I’ll just go from there. I don’t really know what I’m doing. This is all new.” I looked around the apartment and sighed. “So terrifyingly new,” I whispered.
His jaw clenched and unclenched as he followed my gaze around my temporary home.
“I have to get out of here too. This apartment is too much,” I said, my thoughts falling off my tongue in a to-do list of sorts.
He looked slightly taken aback. “But where will you go?”
“Oh, I have a friend who will probably let me crash at their place.”
Erica was that friend, yet I hadn’t told her any of this yet.
I knew she would take me in without hesitation, but I hated to ask that of her.
She was one of my best friends, but had her own trust issues when it came to wealth and status.
Coming from a wealthy background herself, she pushed that part of herself away for a long time for a lot of the same reasons Jeremiah hid behind his work.
“At least until I can find an apartment I can afford. I’ll find a studio or something. Babies don’t need a lot of space, right?” I laughed softly, trying to lighten the mood.
“You’re not crashing at someone’s apartment…” said Jeremiah tightly.
“It’s not really up to you.”
“Let me help you,” he said, scooching slightly closer on the couch.
I looked at him warily.
“Come stay with me,” he continued, covering my hand with his gently.
“I have a guestroom with a California King that overlooks Central Park. It has an ensuite too, complete with a soaking tub. My private chef can cook for you all the healthy meals that you and baby will need. Let me take care of you.”
It all sounded like a dream, but dreams were always too good to be true.
“In exchange for what?” I asked pointedly.
“In exchange for keeping this between us for now,” he said.
I raised a questioning brow.
“If this got out, it would open a whole can of worms. The press would have a field day and then the world would burn me at the stake. Could you imagine if they found out I was fucking my assistant and got her pregnant? It would ruin me.”
His words were harsh and hurt me more than I would like. More than he intended them to. But he was right. It would be the year’s biggest scandal, and I had no interest in being at the center of it.
“You understand that, right?” asked Jeremiah, squeezing my hand.
I gave him a solemn nod.
“It’s just the first year of business is crucial. I can’t screw it up.”
“I understand,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper.
It hurt, but I did understand. It was a small thing to ask when he wanted to provide so much for me and the baby.
I found it strange how willing I was to accept him taking care of me.
Usually, I was the one taking care of everyone else.
Maybe it was because I was thinking of the baby.
Or maybe it was because I liked the idea of spending more time with him.
“Thank you,” he said with relief. “For now, our relationship and this pregnancy have to be kept secret.”
My brain got caught on one word, making my heart foolishly flutter more than I would like to admit.
“Relationship?” I asked.
“Don’t overthink it.” He patted my hand before standing up from the couch, leaving me full of questions and high hopes that I knew could easily come crashing down. I opened my mouth to press further, but thought better of it.
One step at a time.
“I’ll have someone come by this weekend to move your things.”
“I really don’t have much. I can do it.”
“Nonsense.” He waved me off.
The corner of my lip pulled into a smile. The first one I’d had pretty much all day. I stood up from the couch and began walking him toward the door.
“I can take you to your doctor’s appointment too. If you want me to.”
I looked back at him, curious by this sudden change in him. He was so different from the man he was earlier. This was who I wanted as the father of my child. This version of him.
“That would be nice.” I smiled up at him.
He placed his hand on my cheek and looked down at me. I let myself lean in to his touch.
“Goodnight,” he murmured before pulling his hand away and walking out the door.
Maybe there was hope for him yet.