26. Jules
Jules
“ H ow long did he say it was going to take to get the paperwork completed?” Maggie has come over and is sitting at a barstool at the end of the counter, enjoying a latte while she alternately watches me stack my newly printed menus and grills me with questions.
My grand opening is all scheduled; everything that’s been ordered has been delivered, inventoried, and stocked. Everything is set and ready to go.
“Cal didn’t say. Only that the guy said he had to finish, and he’d be in touch.”
“How is Cal?”
I shrug. “Okay, I guess?”
“You guess. Okay, hold up. You guys were so lovey-dovey the other day at the festival, and it looked like things were more than just okay. What’s happened since then?”
I shouldn’t gossip and tell his business. I really shouldn’t. But also, I need a friend to help me dissect the last few days. Lissette has been ignoring me and answering in one-word text replies. I’m sure I’ve done something to piss her off, but right now, I don’t have the energy to deal.
Maggie takes a sip of her latte and hums in approval, something I’ve noticed she does after every sip.
“You know that Charlie is his niece, right?” I start, not giving too much away and sticking to the facts.
“Yeah. That kid is adorable. And he’s adorable with her.”
I nod. “He is.”
She sets her mug on the counter, cupping it with both hands. “I’m sensing there’s more to this, though.”
I restack the menus and position them perfectly on the counter. “Dani, his sister, left Charlie. Cal’s done great with the sudden change in his parental status, and Charlie is really thriving. But his sister called the other night only because she got arrested.”
“Oh my god. For what?”
“We don’t know. All she said was that she was taken in as part of a raid. I don’t know where or what kind. But it had to have been something pretty bad if they’ve kept her in jail, right? It’s been days.”
“I mean”—she lifts a shoulder—“I have no clue about legal stuff. I can’t even stand the thought of getting a speeding ticket, I’m such a rule follower.”
This is one of the reasons I like Maggie so much. It’s like we’re the same person.
“Anyway, I think he’s been thinking about making this situation permanent with Charlie.
I think he’s afraid that if he denies Dani, then she’ll come take Charlie back, and he doesn’t want that for her.
I think he’s seen how it is with my brother’s family, and I low-key think he’s starting to think he can provide that for his niece. ”
Maggie cocks her head to the side, absently spinning her mug on the counter. “Are you a part of that equation? ”
I pick at the corner of a menu and then try to smooth it back out. “I don’t know.”
“Do you want to be?”
That’s the million-dollar question and has me struggling to meet her gaze.
“I don’t know.” She places a hand over mine and squeezes, showing me support I didn’t know I needed.
Her kindness and friendship have been unexpected and have helped soothe some of the tension I’ve been holding over my relationship with Lissette.
“Don’t get me wrong, I care for them both. I truly do,” I continue. “I just don’t know if I’m ready for a relationship, much less being a mom.”
Her brows rise. “Oof. That’s a hard one.”
“I feel like a total asshole. It’s not that I don’t like kids or didn’t ever want them. But I don’t know if I’m ready right now. And the uncertainty is like this added weight on top of everything with the shop.”
She resumes slowly spinning the mug. “Jules, I think you need to figure out how you feel about Cal and assume that he comes with a kid. If Charlie is a deal-breaker for you, then this needs to end sooner than later. It’s not fair to either of them.”
That weight that I’ve been carrying grows heavier. “I know you’re right. But it’s worse because he relies on me to help care for her while he’s at the station.” Which reminds me that it’s almost time for me to go pick her up.
“Are you sure this is even a relationship? Or is it a matter of convenience, with a side bonus of hot sex?”
And that’s the real question. Is this thing with Cal real? Or have I fallen into a pattern of allowing myself to be used while also taking advantage of the ways Cal could help me. Is it just about great sex and helping each other out of a tight spot ?
Unsettled, I shove away from the counter and make a point of glancing at my watch. If I didn’t have the energy to sort things out with Lissette, I certainly don’t have the energy to sort things out about whatever this is with Cal.
“I’ve got to run and get Charlie and check on my sister-in-law,” I say to change the subject. “The woman amazes me. Fresh out of the hospital and already back at her normal life.”
Maggie follows me to the door and waits as I lock up. Then she pulls me in for a hug as we say our goodbyes.
“You know, for what it’s worth. I think you’d be a great mom.” And then she’s heading off across the street, leaving me with more questions than answers.
As I’m pulling in at my brother’s house, my cell phone rings, displaying the name of the inspector.
I shift into park and answer.
“Ms. Lancaster. I wanted to let you know that I’m denying your certificate of occupancy. It seems that you did not file for the proper permits prior to doing the work.”
All of the blood leaves my head, and my stomach drops as dread piles on in waves.
“What?”
“Permits. You failed to file building permits.”
“But how could you do an inspection if the permits weren’t taken out.”
“That’s not the issue. Your paperwork wasn’t filed properly.” He sounds like he couldn’t care less. Like this complete demolition of my entire business plan is but a blip on his radar. “I am unable to grant the CO.”
He ends the call.
I’m stunned. I check my phone to make sure that, yes, he did just hang up without further offering me any recourse. What an asshole.
With shaking fingers, I pull up Cal’s contact and hit dial.
“They denied my CO.” The words tumble out when he answers, and I’m seconds away from completely losing it. I need him to tell me there’s a mistake, that the guy’s wrong. That we can fix this.
“What? Why? We did everything by the book,” Cal argues.
“Well, apparently we didn’t do everything , because he won’t give me the certificate,” I shoot back.
In the background, an alarm rings out, echoing as if he’s in a large room. “Jules…” He sounds exasperated, exhausted. “I’ve got to go. I’ll call them tomorrow and try to get more information.”
The line falls dead.
I want to scream.
I want to punch something.
I want to go home and drown my worries in a bottle of wine.
Instead, I’ve got to go inside this unruly house full of wild children and not yell at them. And then I’ve got to go play mommy to a kid who isn’t mine.
I wish he could’ve taken five minutes to talk to me about this, to help me process how this massive fuckup happened. Instead, I’m left with the realization that he will always have to drop and run. I will always be on the back burner, especially when his work has to come first.
And I don’t know if I want to be with someone who has a job that’s more important than me. I’ve been there and done that.
I don’t want to be the leftovers again.
Inhaling a fortifying breath, I push open the car door, still not quite ready to face my evening but knowing it’s doing me no good to sit in the car prolonging the inevitable.
Maybe this is just a bad dream, a blip on the radar. Maybe there’s some kind of mistake. Surely, Cal filed the proper permits. He would know to do that, right?
And giving him the benefit of the doubt means that there’s something else going on. Some failure or inadequacy in the system.
Whatever it is feels a lot like defeat and has me beginning to wonder if this whole town is out to get me and prevent me from opening my shop.