27. Jules
Jules
C harlie screams and bucks, arching her back and kicking at the seat, as I try to wrestle her into her car seat. From the way she’s acting, you’d think that it’s a torture device I’m strapping her to.
“Charlie.” I seek the dregs of my patience and say her name in a low voice while fighting both her and the diaper bag that’s slipping off my shoulder. Charlie doubles down on her efforts. The diaper bag falls, and she bangs her head on the car and manages to slap me in the face at the same time.
“Cool it, kid,” I bark, clamping my arms tightly around her so she can’t move. She immediately quiets, her eyes going wide and round, her little lips downturned at the corner.
I’ve never disciplined this child. Never really had to. Usually, we redirect and go with the flow. But my patience is at an end.
Charlie goes limp as a rag doll. Great . Now I’ve scared her .
Maggie was completely wrong. I will never be a good mother because I can’t handle shit.
Once Charlie’s buckled in, I step back and take a deep breath. What a shitty way to start our evening together. My ire drains away as I look at her sweet little face. She’s a toddler, and she’s just reacting to my mood. She doesn’t deserve my frustration.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. Juju has had a hard day. I’m frustrated,” I say, smoothing a hand over her perfect chubby cheek before leaning in to kiss her pert little nose.
She surprises me by taking both of my cheeks in her hands and gazing into my eyes. It’s a sucker punch right in the heart.
“You learned that from Uncle Cal, didn’t you?”
“Unka,” she chirps.
“Uncle Cal is working. It’s a girls’ night tonight.”
“Unka,” she repeats.
I load the rest of Charlie’s gear into the car while she keeps saying “Unka” over and over again.
“I guess it wouldn’t hurt if we stop by the station and see him on our way home.”
This feels new. Kind of forbidden.
I’ve never been to his station, though I know the one he works at. Drive by it all the time when I head to Newman. Mind made up for reasons I don’t want to explore, I point the car in the right direction, and in no time at all, I’m pulling into the drive.
Charlie is wide-eyed in the back seat, pointing at a bright red fire engine that’s parked on the concrete pad outside of the open bay doors. “Wee-woo.”
“That’s right. A firetruck says wee-woo.”
Cal emerges from the open bay door, grinning at someone over his shoulder. He’s sexy as all hell in his uniform, wearing a fire dept. baseball cap, something I’ve never seen him wear. Concern takes over his expression when he recognizes my car. In a few long strides, he’s at my door.
“What’s wrong?”
I’m slightly taken aback. “Nothing. We just stopped to see you on the way home.”
His shoulders relax, and he bends to kiss me. A brief press of his lips to mine. But it does the job and settles me like nothing else had since that horrible phone call earlier.
He moves to Charlie’s door and takes her out of the car seat, and I shake my head at how accommodating she is for him, pointing at the engine and being all sweet. Cal holds her perched on an arm, and he extends the other to me, taking my hand and leading us to the engine.
“She’s got you wrapped around that little finger, doesn’t she,” I observe as he indulges her in anything she shows a tiny bit of interest in.
He shoots me a wink because he knows I’m right. But that wink? Between it and the ball cap, my mood has done a complete one-eighty. I’ve gone from angry, despondent businesswoman in peril to horndog college girl in a matter of minutes.
I peer at the bed of hoses on the top of the engine. “I saw a TV show once where a couple got caught on the bed of hoses. That ever happen to anyone you know?”
“That shit doesn’t happen in real life.” Cal scoffs.
“Huh, too bad,” I say matter-of-factly. His gaze shoots to me, and that wicked smirk tilts the corner of his mouth. He drops my hand and spins the baseball cap backward as Charlie tries to do a head bump.
Fuck. The backward cap does me in.
“Sorry I was bitchy earlier,” I blurt, and he freezes. “It feels like every step of this process has been made unnecessarily hard. Today was the last straw.”
He’s so strong and proud, with Charlie in his arms. It’s hella attractive. He’s hella attractive.
His eyes dance between mine, and I try to hold his gaze, but I’m not sure I want him to see everything I’m feeling, so I look away.
“We’ll figure it out.” He takes my hand again and gives it a squeeze. “Everything is going to be okay. It just feels overwhelming right now. We’re going to get that CO, and Daily Brew Two is going to open. Keep the faith in me, okay, Jules?”
I lean up on tiptoe and kiss his jaw. “Okay.”
“But thanks for that visual of me and you on the hose bed. That’ll be a good fantasy to fall asleep to tonight.” He kisses my cheek, then spins away, off to show Charlie more of the truck.
I follow, watching the way his ass fills out his uniform pants. And when he catches me gawking, I get another wink, accompanied by a smirk.
It’s the full package. The uniform, the backward cap. The precious toddler he’s doting on. The tender way he’s smiling at her—and at me.
Heat pools low between my hips. I’m not usually a horny person, and it’s damned inconvenient that my libido has decided to perk up now, when I’m faced with sleeping alone.
At least I can get myself off in his bed, wrapped in his scent later.
“Whatever it is you’re thinking about, you need to stop before you make me push you into a corner and take care of the job.” I swear his voice has dropped an octave .
This is not the time or the place. But I step closer and surreptitiously grab his ass. “Sorry. It’s the uniform.”
A gruff sound rises from his chest. And Charlie bops him right on the nose.
I laugh, the sudden sound foreign to my ears.
Charlie giggles and bops him again. Cal goes for her neck, acting like he’s going to eat her up.
“Awe. How sweet. Is this your family, Cal?” a husky female voice says from behind me.
Cal pops up from his tickling of Charlie, still smiling. At me, at Charlie, at the woman behind me.
“Yeah.”
We’re not truly a family, but then again, I guess we’re as close to one as Cal has ever had. And despite the toughness of the day, I find myself smiling as I turn and come face-to-face with a gorgeous young redhead.
She’s wearing the same uniform as Cal, but on her, it becomes something entirely different. Underneath the generic clothing, she’s curvy and lush.
I’m immediately jealous. Or maybe it’s my insecurities raising their ferocious little voices. Heck, maybe it’s both.
“Kate, this is Jules and Charlie.” He tickles Charlie, earning another childlike squeal.
Kate flashes a perfect blinding-white smile. She could be in an ad for teeth whiteners or toothbrushes and toothpaste. She’s like a walking advertisement for excellent dental care. She’s even got a freaking dimple.
In my boxy dress and cardigan, with my tea-stained smile, I feel like an old, overweight has-been caught flirting with a younger man.
“Kate and Leo are the medics on our shift,” Cal explains .
Great. Just great. While I’ll be sleeping in his bed, he’ll be down the hall from this bombshell. Ugh.
I have to pinch myself to remember my manners and get my head back in this conversation. As it is, I’m the one making things weird.
“It’s nice to meet you,” I say, offering her a hand. “I’m opening the new coffee shop in town.”
“Oh, we know. That’s all Cal has talked about lately. I think he’s as excited as you are.”
I don’t know why that pleases me so, but my smile grows more genuine, either from the knowledge that Cal talks about me, or that he’s proud of helping me accomplish this goal.
“Please come by any time you’re on duty and grab a cup on the house.”
“I’m gonna take you up on that.” She looks to Cal. “I’m making a dinner run. Need anything?”
“I’m good. Got leftovers.”
Leftovers from a meal that we cooked together, where we were flirting and touching the whole time, so much so that we got carried away and nearly burned dinner and had to scrape some of the charred bits off the bottom of the casserole.
Kate leaves with a promise to drop by the shop once we open, and Cal and Charlie resume their inspection of the firetruck.
He’s full of easy grins and a chipper attitude. I don’t think I’ve seen him this happy. Other than maybe the day of the festival, when he had Charlie on his shoulders and whisked her off to the park.
“Being a girl dad suits you,” I announce. Because I can, I slide a hand to his waist and lay my head on his shoulder. His arm wraps around me in a comforting hug .
“Thanks for coming by” is all he says before he kisses the top of my head. But what I hear is, I’m happy you’re here; this means the world to me.
And I can’t tell if the pressure of his happiness makes me feel better, or if it’s scaring the shit out of me.
“I know you’re worried about the shop,” he continues. “I’ll do everything I can to make it right as soon as the inspector’s office opens tomorrow.” It’s a vow. And knowing him like I do, it’s one he will do everything in his power to keep.
For reasons I can’t understand, I mean something to him. Maybe even as much as Charlie does.
We complete the tour of the fire engine, and Charlie grows restless. Recognizing that she’s hit her limit, I start herding us toward the car. Once he gets his share of night-night hugs and kisses, Cal buckles her into her seat, then meets me at my door.
“Have you heard any more from Dani?” I ask.
“No.” His arms slide around my waist, and he pulls me close for a hug. My hands land on his chest, and I can’t help but explore the expanse of muscle under my palms. “But there’s something we need to talk about.”
I immediately tense. “Okay. You can’t say something like that as I’m about to leave. I’ll be up all night worrying. Rip the Band-Aid off and tell me what’s on your mind.”
“I’m going for full custody of Charlie. I haven’t talked to Dani yet. Haven’t set it in motion. I wanted to talk to you about it first.”
“Me? Why?”
A crease forms between his eyes. “We’re kind of in this together. Or do I have things wrong?”
“Uh. Well…” Shit . Why is he bringing this up today, when I’d just had that conversation with Maggie ?
Now he’s the one tensing up. All the playfulness drains away as he stares at me.
“Jules?”
“I mean… yeah?” I’m fucking this up. I know it, but I can’t stop it.
“But Cal, this is your decision. Don’t base it off of me.
” I fake a laugh and pull away. “I mean. I’m kind of used to my routines and all.
” That’s a total lie. I’ve got zero routines, and I’ve easily adapted to helping out with Charlie.
“I haven’t minded helping with Charlie, but I guess I just assumed she’d go back to her mom at some point, and we’d carry on with this—whatever it is—between us.
” It’s a total cop-out, and I know it. I immediately feel like an asshole.
He pulls back, his features stricken. This is not the time or place for this conversation.
But Cal is young; he’s prime dad age. I’m to the point where even if I wanted to have a kid, it would put me in the high-risk pregnancy category.
But we’ve never had the conversation of what we wanted out of this relationship, and it’s one that’s got the potential to implode on us.
“We need to press pause on this conversation.” I close the distance he’s put between us and pat his chest. “We’ll figure it out.” I go up on tiptoe to give him a peck.
But he doesn’t kiss me back. My heart stutters as I withdraw.
He doesn’t look like the self-assured man he was when I first arrived.
There’s no glint in his eye. No playfulness.
And he’s not smiling as I pull away. He’s standing in front of the bay with his hands in his pockets, watching us leave, and I wonder if I’ve just set things in motion for us to fail.