28. Cal
Cal
W ind and rain pelt my bunker jacket. The drone of a chainsaw buzzing through yet another downed tree fills my ears for the third hour in a row.
Out of nowhere, a spring storm blew in, and high winds and rain have been wreaking havoc all night.
“Clear.” Jackson pushes through the last bit of a tree trunk that’s fallen on a pickup. The guy inside gives us a thumbs-up as he sits up as much as he can. The entire truck bed is crushed, but miraculously, the tree missed the cab.
Relief is a heady feeling washing over me.
It’s four a.m. after a hellacious night. The monotony of the work has drowned any adrenaline left in my body, and my brain has finally shifted into all the things I managed to not think about since Jules left the station. Our relationship, for starters.
Maybe I was wrong to assume that she was all in, but the signals were there. Although, what do I know? It’s not like I have any frame of reference, no role models to look up to .
But the more I think about the way she acted when we started the conversation that shouldn’t have happened, the more I wonder if we are on the same page at all.
“Look out,” Jackson screams.
My head jerks in his direction just as a giant limb crashes into me. I’m flipped to my back and pinned in an instant.
Pain bursts across my chest, my abs.
I can’t draw a full breath. Can’t see anything beyond green leaves and tree bark. But my helmet’s still on and absorbed most of the impact.
Yelling pierces the air, and footsteps draw close.
I’m trying not to panic, but I can hear it in my crew’s voices.
“Cal, buddy.” Jackson skids to a knee by my head and grips my hand. “Don’t move.” His voice is nearly overshadowed by everyone else yelling directives. I try to shift, because fuck, it hurts.
“No, don’t move,” Jackson barks.
Voices surround us. Some I recognize, some I don’t.
“Someone get some ropes and stabilize that limb.”
“Fuck,” I groan. And Jackson’s attention swings back to me.
“Okay, Cal. Just hang tight, man.” Jackson is calm and professional. I must really be fucked up if he’s channeling his guru voice—the one he uses when shit hits the fan and he needs the scene to be calm and controlled.
“How bad?” I croak, unable to draw a full breath.
Jackson squeezes my hand. “Not shitting you. I can’t tell. There’s a huge fucking limb, as big as a tree trunk, barely hanging on. I can’t see your body below the neck. Where’s it hurt? ”
“Chest. Can’t. Breathe.” My eyelids are so damn heavy. I just want this pain to stop, to suck in a giant lungful of air.
“Hurry the fuck up,” Jackson screams.
An image of Charlie smiling and happy flitters through my mind. And Jules holding Charlie. I focus on their faces and try to take shallow breaths.
I will not pass out.
I will not…
“Well, hey there, sleeping beauty.”
My eyelids flutter open. Kate stands over me, a stressed-out fake smile on her face. I’m attached to something and can’t see her below the neck.
“No, don’t pull that oxygen mask off just yet,” she warns, her features relaxing the more awake I become.
“You gave us a real scare for a minute.” As she bustles away, my bearings come back. I’m in the back of an ambulance.
I try to shift my legs and realize I’m strapped down.
“What happened?” The mask makes my voice muffled, but Kate swings her attention to me. She sits on the low bench beside me and resumes checking my vitals.
“A part of the tree shifted, and a huge branch broke loose. You were in its way.”
“I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck,” I mutter.
“Well, you should. But luckily, no puncture wounds. Your vitals are good, so probably no internal bleeding. Looks like it just knocked the breath out of you. But you’re still getting an escort to get checked out, courtesy of James County Fire Rescue.”
I struggle in my bindings. “I’m fine. ”
“Sure. Okay. But I’m the one in charge. And I say you go.”
“All good, Kate?” Leo’s voice sounds from the back of the bus.
“Yep. Locked and loaded. Let’s roll,” she calls back.
There’s a thunk of the doors closing, followed by Leo climbing in the front, and then we’re moving.
“You want me to call your girlfriend?” Kate offers.
I don’t remember the last ambulance ride I took.
But I do remember waking up in a hospital, alone with a gunshot wound and not knowing what had happened.
A nurse had come in and explained as much as she knew, and then later, Mac and some of the guys came by to check on me and others who’d been injured in a massive fire in the courthouse.
But in between visits from my crew, I’d been alone.
“What time is it?” I’ve lost all semblance and have no idea if it’s been minutes or hours since we arrived on scene. I just know I’m ready to get the fuck off this gurney.
Kate glances at her watch. “Almost five.”
“Nah. No need to wake them up.”
Plus, I don’t want to scare Jules needlessly. I’ll be fine before the end of shift, I hope, and I can make my regular morning call while Jules takes Charlie to day care.
“Okay, it’s your funeral.”
My eyes dart to Kate. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
She rolls her eyes, shaking her head. “You asshats with the hero complex. Is she your woman?”
I nod. Even if Jules is questioning things, I know down to my bones that I’m hers and she’s mine.
“Then she’s gonna want to know.”
I swallow, my eyes darting around to all the monitors and gadgets in the back of the bus.
This is new territory for me. I don’t want to fuck things up with her, so I try to imagine how I’d feel if the tables were turned.
I’d be pissed if something happened to Jules and I found out about it after the fact. “Okay, call her.”
She uses my phone, and even over the line, I can tell that Jules is bordering on frantic until Kate presses the phone to my ear.
“Hey, babe,” I say, trying to keep my voice level and calm and not let on that it hurts like hell to breathe.
“I’m on my way. I’ll meet you at the hospital.” The words tumble, and I hear the rustle of fabric in the background, like she’s either just climbing out of bed or maybe struggling into clothes.
“Jules…”
“Shut up.” It’s muffled at first, and then becomes clearer. She’s definitely getting dressed. “Just shut it. I’m texting Steve and Nancy as we speak. As soon as they get here, I’ll be on my way.”
“You don’t have?—”
“Cal. I swear to god… if you downplay this, I’m going to punch you right in the nuts.” If she were standing in front of me right now, her hands would be on her hips, and she’d be slaughtering me with a glare.
“I’m not downplaying anything, babe. Just trying to tell you that you don’t have to make the trip down.”
There’s another shuffle over the line, and then she demands to speak to Kate again.
Kate fills her in, repeating what I’ve already told Jules. That I’m fine and just going to get checked out. And then Kate grins big at me.
She hangs up and says, “That woman really, really must like you. And I really like her.”
The trip across town to the hospital is quick, and soon, I’m wheeled into a room. Nurses rush around me in a flurry of activity, and then I’m whisked away for X-rays before Jules arrives. By the time I’m wheeled back into my room, she’s waiting for me.
She looks haggard and scared, but she grips my hand fiercely when I offer it to her.
“Hey, sweetheart.” I don’t want to admit it, but it’s as much of a relief for me to see her as it is for her to see me.
“Hey yourself.”
“Thanks for coming down.”
She stands over my hospital bed and squeezes my hand while petting my arm with her other.
Her touch is gentle, but she’s looking at me like she can’t help herself.
Eyes roaming all over my torso, up to my face, before meeting mine.
She studies me for a long moment before relaxing and letting out a huge exhale.
“Nancy is taking Charlie back to her house as soon as she wakes up. She’ll make sure her day is as normal as possible,” she announces as she lowers into the hard plastic bedside chair.
Guilt that I’ve caused so much trouble for them flares. “I hate that y’all went to the trou?—”
“Shut up, Callum.” She hits me with my full name. “This is what family does.”
A warm blast of emotion settles in my chest, pushing aside the guilt and embarrassment over her seeing me brought so low.
I blink away the burning in my eyes.
“Don’t be a pussy, crybaby, ” my mother’s voice echoes from the past.
But I shove it aside; there’s no place for her here with Jules, in this new life I’ve built.
“Is that what we are?” I mutter, trying to hide the fact that I’m emotional over being considered part of her family. That I have a semblance of a family with Jules and Charlie-Belle.
“Of course it is.” Her eyes grow gentle with compassion and possibly understanding. “We might not be traditional. But you and Charlie are important to me, and to the rest of my family.”
“Somehow, it feels like things have changed since we talked at the station last night.”
She shakes her head, giving me a little huff of disbelief. “Yeah, well. You went and got yourself smacked by a tree. You didn’t have to take such a drastic step.”
I want to laugh, but even chuckling hurts, and I wind up groaning.
“I do care about you, Cal. Just because I have some hesitation, doesn’t mean I don’t care.” Her eyes hold me captive. It’s like she’s willing me to believe her. “Charlie cares about you too. You know, just in case you needed to hear that out loud.”
I tug her hand, forcing her to stand, and draw her close enough to slip mine behind her neck, pulling her in for a kiss.
As her mouth meets mine in a hesitant, tender kiss, I realize I don’t have to figure anything out. I’ve never felt it before, never had it returned to me to be sure. But I think this might be love. The thought is both terrifying and thrilling.
I don’t know how to be in love with someone.
I don’t know what a good family looks like.
If my mom were here, she’d be looking at what I could get out of the situation.
At the very least, she’d be begging for additional pain meds and talking about suing someone for the injury.
But I’m nothing like the person who raised me .
Jackson’s head pokes around the semi-closed door.
“Hey, man. Just wanted to check on you.”
His shoulders are up near his ears, hands stuffed in his pockets. He’s quiet and reserved and not at all the happy-go-lucky guy that I know.
“I think I’m going to go find a cup of coffee,” Jules says, glancing from the doorway back to me. “Need anything?”
I decline with a shake of my head. “Just to get out of here.”
I watch her ass as she stops and gives my partner a hug on her way out the door.
Standing on her tiptoe with her arms awkwardly around his shoulders, she murmurs something in his ear.
His eyes close as he returns the hug, dipping his chin to whatever she said.
She pulls back with a pat on his arm and slides out the door.
The room grows quiet, only the beeping of monitors to break the silence.
“What? No jokes about me laying down on the job?” I tease to break this weird tension he’s brought in.
He grimaces as he takes the chair Jules vacated. “Nah, man. I’m not going to kick a guy while he’s down.”
An image of his stricken face hovering near mine, him frantically trying to free me from being pinned, flashes in my mind. I reach my free hand out to him. He grabs my palm and squeezes.
“Glad you’re okay,” he says, voice thick with emotion.
“Thanks for looking out for me and getting me untangled from that mess so quickly.”
“That’s what partners do.” His curt reply doesn’t fool me for a minute. He was visibly shaken when he walked in. “Besides, I’ve just barely gotten you trained on how to be a good partner. I don’t have time to train someone new. Figured I’d better rescue your ass. ”
“Whatever. You just like that I do the cooking.”
“I wouldn’t call it cooking, but you do follow a box recipe pretty good.”
“Are Kate and Leo still here?”
The door opens again, and they saunter through. “Jesus, did you just conjure them?” Jackson quips, finally falling back into some semblance of normal.
“We’ve got to get back in service. Just wanted to check on you before we head out,” Leo says. Kate comes to the head of the bed and places a hand on my shoulder. For as tough as she appears, she’s got the most comforting presence in a crisis.
I place a hand over hers and meet her gaze. “Thanks for everything.”
“Yeah, sure. You can buy a round of drinks after next shift. Because after this morning, I’m gonna need a drink.”
I think back to all the times that I’d go out with the crew from NFD and skirt out early. Somehow, I just didn’t fit in with them. But these three? In the few short weeks that we’ve been together, we’ve clicked.
“Sounds like a plan. Maybe we’ll be able to have a grand opening party at the coffee shop soon.”
As they leave, with Jackson in tow, because the calls don’t wait on a banged-up partner, a sense of rightness settles over me. Even being laid up in an ER exam room, I’m feeling the warm fuzzies for this crew, who obviously cares about me.
My thoughts drift to Jules, who came running the moment she’d heard I was injured. She’s probably still mad as hell about the whole permit CO thing, but she showed up anyway.
I don’t know what I’m going to have to do to make it right and get her business open. But I will not fail her again.