Chapter 10
The elevator doors to my crib opened, and I stepped into my dimly lit apartment. The long day of press interviews had drained me. Shit, I almost wished I would have lost. It was too damn much, but after the parade Friday, things would die down. Seeing Phileigh fueled me as I quietly walked toward my mom. She was sound asleep on the couch with a blanket pulled up to her chin.
It was only 8:00 p.m., but maybe she was tired from all the press too. The last two weeks leading up to the Super Bowl had been hectic. I adjusted her comfortably on the couch before moving toward my bedroom. I couldn’t wait to see Phileigh lying in my bed, hopefully wearing something that exposed her juicy ass thighs. Thoughts of how sweet her pussy tasted on my lips replayed over and over again in my head.
“Phileigh?” I called out, pushing open the door. She was probably already fast asleep. “Phileigh, you sleep?”
Confusion swept over me as my bedroom came into view. It was empty. There was no sign of Phileigh, just a perfectly made bed.
“Phileigh, where you at?” I called again, my voice rising slightly.
When her sweet voice didn’t call back to me, I took off toward the living room. Where was she? A knot formed in my stomach as I approached my mother on the couch.
“Aye, Ma. Wake up,” I said, gently shaking her shoulder. She’d been here with Phileigh all day. Maybe she knew where she was hiding.
“What? What’s wrong?” Her eyes popped open, and she slowly rubbed her hand across her face, clearing the slob that had trickled down her cheek.
“Ma, where is Phileigh?” I questioned. Panic was evident in my tone.
I could see when she registered what I was saying because she jumped up. Her eyebrows bunched together in confusion.
“What are you talking about, Kellon?”
“Where is Phileigh?” I repeated.
“I don’t know, boy. We were watching a movie together, and then I must’ve dozed off.”
I ran a hand across my head, looking around the living room. There weren’t any signs of her. Her purse and shoes were gone.
“Phileigh!” I called again desperately. Suddenly, the decision to send her with my mom didn’t sound like a good idea.
“Just check around. Maybe she went downstairs or something,” Ma suggested.
I knew that shit was cap, but I still held on to hope that Phileigh hadn’t bailed on a nigga. Taking a deep breath, I opened the app on my phone and checked the security cameras to see where her fine ass was hiding. Every room in the house was empty. There was no sign of her.
“Shit!” I exhaled a breath.
She was gone. I rewound the camera footage, eager to see when she’d left. Sure enough, around 7:00 p.m., there she was in 4K quietly getting up from the couch after my mom fell asleep. I rubbed my hand across my forehead as I watched her board the elevator and travel down to the ground level where she got into a taxi.
“What are you doing, Phileigh?” I murmured to myself as my heart sank.
Why would she leave without saying anything? She had my number. We’d exchanged numbers back in Orlando. I knew Phileigh was in a challenging position with her being pregnant and the baby’s father bailing on her. I got it. My daddy didn’t bail by choice, but a single mother still raised me. Maybe that was why I had a weak spot for Phileigh. If she let me, I would be there for her as her man or friend. It didn’t matter. Exiting the camera app, I pulled up Phileigh’s number and pressed call. If she thought she was getting away from me, that easily was mistaken. The phone rang three times before the call picked up. Her soft breaths filling my ears was the only way I knew she was on the line.
“Phileigh.” I was desperate as fuck for answers on where she was. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, Kellon. I’m boarding my flight.” The tone of her voice made me lose any hope of getting her back here.
“Why are you going home? Why did you leave?”
She was quiet for a moment, and I could hear the flight attendant calling boarding groups in the background.
“Phileigh,” I called her again, trying to plead with her not to leave.
“Kellon, I’m so sorry,” she replied softly. “You’re great, really great. I’m so lucky to have met you. I appreciate everything… in another life, we could...”
Her voice cracked, and I could feel my chest caving in.
“I like you a lot. I didn’t expect you to handle me being pregnant the way you did. It just shows that I come with way too much baggage. You deserve a woman who isn’t pregnant by someone else, Kellon.”
I rested my body against the kitchen counter. She had my legs growing weak. How could I be this attached to a woman I had only met forty-eight hours ago? It sounded crazy, but I was attached.
“Aye, don’t say that shit! I don’t care about any of that shit you saying. Don’t get on the plane. You promised me you’d come to New York.”
“I did. I’m sorry, Kellon,” was the last thing she said before hanging up the phone.
“Phileigh!” I yelled her name, but I already knew she was gone. “Shit!”
I couldn’t wrap my head around what had changed in such a short time. Last night then in the morning, she was cool. Now, she was on a plane back home. My eyes landed on my mother, and I immediately became irritated. She had to have said something to give Phileigh a change of heart about a nigga. I shook my head, moving fast through the kitchen and back into the living room.
“Did you find her?”
I shook my head, taking a deep breath. This is still your mother.
“She just boarded a flight home.”
“What?” She tried to act shocked.
“What did you say to her, Ma? What did you do? You told me you were going to play nice.”
My mother looked taken aback. Her eyes were wide as if she didn’t know what I was talking about.
“Don’t blame me. I... I didn’t say anything bad. I was just trying to be supportive. I told her we could figure the pregnancy out as a family?—”
“The pregnancy?” I cocked my head to the side. I was confused about how she found out.
“I’m not supposed to say anything. She wanted to tell you… first… but… Son, Phileigh is carrying your child.”
My eyes bulged, and I couldn’t do shit but just stare at her. Suddenly, it made sense why Phileigh had fled. Ma hadn’t been mean to her. It was the opposite. Ma had been nice to her.
“Dammit, Ma!” I shouted, pacing back and forth.
Ma thought Phileigh was pregnant by me. I didn’t know how the story had gotten misconstrued, and I didn’t care to correct it. I knew Phileigh cared, though. Knowing my mother, she probably had spooked the shit out of her with baby shower and wedding talk.
“See? This why you don’t get someone pregnant before making her your wife and introducing her to your mom. How long have you been hiding this girl?”
“Ma, please don’t start.” I didn’t feel like hearing her go on and on about some shit she didn’t know anything about. “Mind your own business, man.”
“Excuse me?” She stood from the couch. Her eyes narrowed into slits. “You are my damn business! I gave you life. You think I don’t care about it? Your decisions affect me, too.”
I narrowed my eyes at her. All the stress I had been feeling, grief, guilt, and frustration all bubbled over. I couldn’t hold the shit anymore.
“You care about my life? Riddle me this, Ma. Why does it seem like your only concern is who I’m fucking or how big my contracts are? You never seem concerned about nothing else. I can count on one hand how many times you’ve asked how I’ve been doing since Jeronee died. You care about my life, but you don’t care about my feelings. You can’t even make sure the press doesn’t ask me about my deceased brother.”
My mother recoiled. A look of hurt flashed across her face. “That’s how you feel? You think I don’t give a damn about you, Kellon? You’re my son. I love you.”
“I don’t doubt your love, Ma… But if you really cared, you would have noticed that I’m hurting. I’m not happy. I need to grieve. But that’s never been your priority. It’s always about shit that doesn’t matter.”
“Kellon!”
Her mouth snapped shut, and she stood there in shock. I’d never spoken to her this way. I had always given her the utmost respect, but this shit needed to be said.
“You are not about to sit up here and speak to me crazy. I’m just trying to tell you what’s right. You don’t have to follow it, but dammit, you’re going to listen.” She shook her head and snapped her fingers.
“The only person that needs to listen is you, Ma. You are more flawed than me.”
“You know what? I don’t need to listen to this. I have a home.” She turned on her heels and headed toward the elevator. “You don’t want me in your business? Fine. You don’t have to worry about it anymore.”
Moving quickly, I followed behind her, jumping on the elevator just before the door shut.
“I’ll have Monte bring the car around.”
Mad or not, I wasn’t about to allow my mother on the streets of New York at night alone. The elevator descended to ground level without us saying a word to each other. When the doors opened, she stormed off fast toward the awaiting SUV. Monte could barely get her door open in time.
“Get home safe, Mom,” I said as she climbed inside and shut the door. “Let me know when she’s home. Make sure she is good before leaving,” I instructed the driver.
He nodded as he rounded the car and took the driver’s side. I watched as the car pulled away. A wave of exhaustion washed over me. Phileigh leaving and getting into a fight with my mom wasn’t how the night was supposed to go. I made my way back up to the elevator, replaying everything that had been said in my mind.
“Fuck!” I groaned as I entered my home and plopped down on the couch. I allowed my body to sink into the cushions before I pulled my phone out. It only took me a second to end up scrolling through Phileigh’s social media page. I wanted to be there for her, to support her so badly. I had the sudden urge to hop on a private jet and pull up on her, but I had to be patient with all the press commitments I had piling up for the week. Besides, she needed space to sort being pregnant out in her own head, and I wanted to respect that.
I stared at her glowing smile on a post where she talked about her services, and peace swept over me. I clicked on her inbox and typed her a message.
KellonBarnes:
I’m not going anywhere. That’s my baby.
My thumb hovered over the send button before I deleted the message. That wasn’t what she needed right now. She needed time. Sending this message would only bombard her with a flood of emotions. Closing the app, I stood from the couch to head to bed.
“Give her time,” I said to myself.
I would come for her later. There was no way I was letting her go through this pregnancy alone.