12. Jensen
12
JENSEN
INDIE: Oh my God, come get your parents
INDIE: I’m not gonna make it to Christmas
JENSEN: They’ve only been there a week
INDIE: Mama has rearranged my cabinets
INDIE: And the pantry
JENSEN: Sawyer had them for a full month, I’m sure he can commiserate
INDIE: He’ll just grunt at me
O ur older brother had played tour guide to our parents all of last month, and now they were on part two of their road trip visiting Indie. I push the call button, but instead of picking up, she sends me to voicemail.
INDIE: I’m hiding in the bathroom
I snicker, appreciating the hell out of my baby sister in this moment. I hated that she’d gone to college in Montana and never came home. We hadn’t always been close—the six years between us hadn’t made it easy—but as the years had gone on, Indie had become my best friend.
And even though I didn’t want to admit it, I needed her advice. Nessa had left for the university after her run this morning. She’d snuggled Remi for a bit but had been short with me, and I’d stomped around for a while because of it.
I didn’t know what I wanted from her but I needed to figure it out.
And fast.
JENSEN: Just say thank you and change it when she leaves
INDIE: (gif of woman sticking out her tongue)
INDIE: (gif of small child throwing a tantrum)
INDIE: If I wanted that kind of unhelpful advice, I would have texted Sawyer
My grin widens at the thought of our older brother having to field this conversation. He is something of a recluse—always has been—and now calls Cape Cod home. Our parents had always wanted to travel, but I don’t think they’d intended it to see two of their three kids.
Indie had always teased me, but I’d never wanted to be anywhere but here. I’d followed in our father’s footsteps—the only difference being he’d been married to Mama and I was married to the job.
JENSEN: Want something to make you feel better?
INDIE: Obviously
JENSEN: (picture of Remi sleeping)
JENSEN: Meet your niece
INDIE: She’s so cute! I didn’t know you fostered kids. That’s really cool
JENSEN: She’s not a foster—she’s mine.
This time when it’s my phone ringing, all I can do is chuckle as I pick up.
“What?!” Indie whisper hisses. “You have a daughter? Do Mama and Daddy know? Probably not or Mama would have said something, right?”
“Where was all this enthusiasm when you immediately sent me to voicemail five minutes ago?”
“Umm…that was when we were talking about me and now, we are talking about you. You’re way more interesting. Jensen, I have a niece !”
“Remi Maeve. Her mother was the woman I hooked up with in Nashville after that training I had, remember?”
“Yeah, of course I remember, you little rebel.” She pauses and her voice is impossibly quieter as she says, “You said was—her mama was the woman.”
Swallowing hard, I nod even though she can’t see me. “We didn’t exchange information that night, and she passed after Remi was born. Scarlett. Her name was Scarlett and she had one of those hospital wills and named her cousin as guardian if anything should happen.”
“The cousin found you?”
“Yeah.”
“How?”
“Nessa did some detective work.” I chuckle softly. “Found a picture of us on Scarlett’s phone.” I explain the story and wait a full thirty seconds for Indie to speak after I finish.
“How long have you had her?” she asks quietly.
“Officially? A couple of days.” I sigh. “But the process took longer. It’s a lot, Indie. She’s amazing but I don’t know if I ever really thought I’d be a dad, and then I became one overnight and I’m still trying to wrap my head around it. That’s why I didn’t tell you sooner.”
“I guess I should be glad you told me before Mama and Daddy. And Sawyer doesn’t know, right?”
“No, just you.”
“Well, that’s something at least. Where’s the cousin now?”
“That’s the other thing…”
“No way.” She squeals into the phone and I drag my hand over the stubble on my jaw, the scratch against my palm unfamiliar on my almost always clean-shaven face.
“It’s not what you think.”
“You don’t know what I think,” she chides before gasping. “Is it the soccer star?”
“How the hell could you possibly know that?”
“I renew my subscription to the Blackstone Gazette every year, thank you very much.”
“Of course you do,” I say, half in disbelief and half amused.
“She’s gorgeous, Jensen. And she’s Remi’s cousin? Is she staying close?” I must be silent too long because she’s back to hissing as she asks, “Did you sleep with her?”
“What? No, of course not,” I say even though it’s already crossed my mind, “but she’s staying at the house.”
“She’s staying at your house?” This question is practically a screech and I have to pull the phone away from my ear.
“Dogs in the next county can hear you.”
“With good reason. You have a daughter and her super-hot cousin is staying in your house!”
“Nessa is helping at the university with their soccer program, and she agreed to stay and help me with Remi until I can get coverage to take actual time off. That’s it.”
“You know Mama would help, right? She’d be over the moon.”
“I know,” I say quietly, “but I don’t know what I’m doin’ yet, and the last thing I want is for Mama to come in and save the day. She already raised us; it’s not her job to raise Remi too.”
I’d never said the words out loud, but they’d plagued me since the moment I’d been served. Could I be enough for my daughter? Could I do this?
“There’s nothing you can’t do, big brother,” she states as if she can read my mind. “I know you’ll be a great dad.”
“Thanks.” Her words are makin’ me a little more than choked up. “Just don’t tell Mama yet, all right?”
“I wouldn’t dream of it, but maybe give me the heads-up so I can enjoy the reaction over here.”
“I was hopin’ to wait until they got home.”
“Wouldn’t recommend it—you have a week tops before people stop respecting your privacy and start askin’ questions. Mama will be devastated if she finds out through the grapevine about her grandbaby.”
“How’d you get to be so smart?”
“Baby, I was born this way.”
I snicker but I can’t help my smile. “Don’t I know it.”
“You really are the best big brother.”
“I’m telling Sawyer.”
“He’d agree even if he is grumpy. Have you even heard from him? He hasn’t responded to my last two texts.”
“I can’t remember, honestly.” I squeeze my eyes shut as I try to think, guilt settling heavy in my gut. “I’ll text him.”
“It’ll be a miracle if he’s remembered to charge the stupid thing.” I laugh because she’s not wrong.
“You better get back out there before Mama starts to suspect something’s up.”
“If she does, I’ll just say you have some really big news to share.” She laughs halfway through because we both know she’s full of shit. She’d give Sawyer up in a heartbeat, but my little sister and I are as thick as thieves.
“No you won’t.”
“You’re right. I won’t.” She pauses then adds, “But I will take bets on which of the busybodies calls Mama to tell her the good news.”
“Honestly, I’m surprised it’s lasted this long.”
“Well, I hope you enjoyed the calm before the storm because you totally jinxed yourself.”