13. Nessa
13
NESSA
I woke up in a mood. Usually on Saturdays during the off-season, Kinsley and I would go for a run and then indulge in a boozy breakfast. But that felt like a lifetime ago now.
I didn’t regret this time with Remi but every day was another day that would make it harder to return to my old life. I wanted the fast pace of Nashville and the training and games in stadiums across the country.
There was nothing like the rush of jogging out onto the turf and seeing the people in the stands. Women’s soccer had come so far and the fans were just as excited—just as loyal—as anyone following any other professional sports team.
I’d been here an entire week and I was bored. Jensen had gone to the office for a few hours today to get a jump on everything awaiting his return on Monday. We’d agreed to stagger our days so that he’d be able to be at the department a few mornings a week. Otherwise, he’d be on the night shift, and I didn’t know what to expect with that. Sure, we’d traveled through the night either on a bus or plane, but I’d never had to be up and functioning that long.
But would this be Remi’s life? Jensen working a rotating schedule, getting called in all hours of the night, working holidays and birthdays? I didn’t have any room to talk, since my schedule wasn’t any better.
Sighing, I put the car in park outside the Kettle & Kiln. It’s the closest coffee shop in town and I needed to get out of the house and away from all the temptation. Walking through the kitchen, I’d caught a whiff of his spicy cologne even though he hadn’t been there for hours and for some reason, I couldn’t look at the couch without imagining him shirtless with a sleeping baby on his chest.
Kinsley had encouraged me to just go for it—cross the line and enjoy the perks of living with a sinfully hot roommate.
But I couldn’t.
I wasn’t lying when I said that Jensen was too nice for me, but that wasn’t the whole truth. Sure, he had that wholesome do-gooder thing going for him, but he exuded strength and a stunning sort of danger in the way he carried himself.
That kind of man had never been my type. I’d settled for shallow men or ones uninterested in building any sort of relationship below surface level. I’d learned my lesson and had no desire to repeat it.
But besides all of that, if Jensen and I hooked up and things went south, he could keep Remi from me. The thought was unimaginable but still within the realm of possibilities. I knew myself—I’d never last.
Grabbing Remi’s car seat from the back, I pull my jacket closed as I walk the short distance to the pressed tin door and pull it open. Christmas music plays quietly from the speakers, the beginnings of holiday decorations filling the space.
The walls are white and draped with red-and-green garland and delicate paper lanterns. It’s Christmasy without being overdone. It’s the kind of place I longed for in Nashville with the vaulted ceiling in half the building and a presumably cozy loft on the other.
It’s the perfect spot to curl up on a day like today.
Remi fusses in her seat and reminds me that we might not have that luxury today.
Stepping up to the counter, I scan the menu, smirking at the sign that reads You make ’ em we bake ’ em and try to ignore the way my hair stands on end. The feeling of being watched is overwhelming as I glance out of the corner of my eye at the table with three people and slide my professional smile into place.
“Good morning! I’m Nicolette, are you new here? I’m not sure I’ve seen you before, but if you haven’t stopped in yet, welcome! I run a pottery class in the back if you’re interested. All the information is right there on that card, so you can take one if you’d like.” She beams at me and I’m momentarily speechless. “What can I get you this morning?”
She rattles off her questions and smiles with the kind of exuberance that comes naturally and something I’d know nothing about. Her blonde hair is tied back in a braid, and she has the most striking teal eyes.
“Oh, um, I’m just visiting and thank you,” I add, feeling compelled to slip the card into my bag. “Can I get a cinnamon, oat milk latte and a cranberry muffin, please?”
She smiles and talks as we complete the transaction before hustling off to make my coffee. I’m not awake enough for this and don’t even care about the extra carbs I’m tacking on with that muffin.
I need it.
More importantly, humanity needs it if I’m going to have to be social today.
I’ve just thanked Nicolette and turned to find a place to sit when I almost run into one of the women I spied earlier.
“Hi! Oh my gosh! We’ve been dying to meet you,” a bubbly woman with blonde hair says as she herds me toward her table. Something about the way she says it makes me think she’s not talking about my soccer career.
And I’m not sure that’s better.
I don’t plan on sitting, but she grabs an extra chair and motions for me to put Remi’s car seat on it before grabbing another for me.
“I’m Bea and this is Ellison and Cal.” She pauses, her eyes twinkling. “We’re friends of Jensen’s.”
“Technically I’m here by default,” Cal says with a smirk and a sideways glance at Ellison, who shrugs and takes a sip of her coffee. She’s beautiful with dark hair and brown eyes and an air of mischief that’s impossible to ignore.
“It’s really nice to meet you,” I say in the same way I give interviews. Bea snorts, Ellison raises an eyebrow, and Cal crosses his arms over his chest. He’s handsome with dark hair that sweeps across his forehead and Remi-colored eyes.
Like Nicolette when she’d taken my order, Bea seems to be the excited balance for the other two.
“Yeah, that’s not gonna work here,” he says and now it’s my turn to raise an eyebrow. “Use that act on someone else.”
I open my mouth to speak but Ellison cuts me off.
“Seriously. You can go be the soccer star somewhere else, but here in Blackstone Falls,”—she lowers her voice—“you’re the woman who brought our niece home to us.” She shrugs. “Makes you family.”
“And family doesn’t use the camera face,” Cal says with accusation light in his tone. Ellison holds her fist out to him and he bumps it with his own.
I take in their expectant looks and shrug. “It’s hard to turn it off.”
“I thought that was going to be harder,” Cal says with a smirk.
“Caffeine hasn’t kicked in yet,” I tell them as Remi fusses in her seat again. “Besides, Jensen told me how everyone pitched in to help get the nursery set up.”
“Gettin’ cozy with the Sheriff then, huh?” Ellison asks with a wicked grin curling her lips.
“No,” I say firmly as I unbuckle the baby and ease her into my arms. It only lasts for a second before Bea makes grabby hands, and I give Remi over to her.
It’s a bittersweet moment.
These people will see my sweet girl whenever they want, and I’ll be reduced to scheduling time between games and training. The pang of jealousy mixed with longing is as unexpected as my decision to forgo college housing to stay with Jensen.
Looking back now, I have to wonder if that was a mistake because the man is edible but I still can’t have him.
Even when the idea of him shirtless with a sleeping baby on his chest is burned into my brain.
“Well, I definitely don’t believe you now,” Cal says, drawing an imaginary circle with his finger in my direction. Ellison snickers and it’s all I can do to keep my expression neutral as I turn my attention back to them.
“We’re adults. We can occupy the same space and not need to rip each other’s clothes off,” I try, but it sounds lame even to my own ears.
“But where’s the fun in that?” Bea coos to the baby before throwing a wink in my direction.
“Okay, hand over the baby,” Ellison says, holding out her hands toward where Bea is standing and swaying back and forth. She obliges and Ellison cradles Remi against her chest, rubbing her hand up and down the baby’s back.
“It’s so strange seeing you like this,” Cal says to her, causing Ellison to narrow her eyes.
“Like what?”
“Motherly.”
Bea snorts and covers her mouth as Ellison responds, “I mother kids all day.”
“They work at the elementary school,” Bea whispers to me.
“Yes, but you get to give them back.”
“And I’ll give this one back too. Lord knows I’m not ready to have one yet.”
“Why’s that? People have babies before they get married all the time,” Bea asks as I relax into my chair and enjoy the show.
“Because I’m gonna get one exactly like me and they’ll be a wild little hellion and I’m just not ready for Montana to look at me like see what I’ve had to deal with? ” The other two crack up as Ellison turns to me with a wry smile. “My fiancé is a very patient man.”
“That’s an understatement,” Cal murmurs into his coffee. She elbows him and he shoots me a wink. They remind me of Kinsley and it makes me miss my best friend even more.
“You don’t have to put up with me, you know,” Ellison snarks and Cal just shrugs.
“But I always wanted another sister.” He rolls his eyes dramatically then says, “Nessa, if you like reading or reading adjacent things, my sister, Hannah, has a shop called Wandering Pages in Clementine Creek. There’re soaps, jewelry, candles—a little bit of everything, really. She tries to keep her vendors local when she can.”
“She sells all of Bea’s products too. They’re amazing and I’m not just saying that,” Ellison adds as Bea’s cheeks heat but she nods.
“I own Bea’s Bubbles and Balms. I was sourcing the goat milk before but now…” She trails off, her lips twitching up into a smile.
“We house her goats,” Ellison says, with a manic sort of glee that means there’s a story there.
“They do and Hannah is amazing. You should definitely stop in and check it out.”
“I think Jensen’s guest bath is stocked with all your products. I really liked the lavender-scented lotion I used last night.”
“Everyone has been so kind supporting me.”
“It’s because you’re amazing and you make high quality goods,” Ellison states firmly.
Bea rests her head on Ellison’s shoulder and sighs before sitting up. “Speaking of, I have a couple of orders I need to fill today. Nessa, what’s your number? I’ll add you to our group chat.”
“Oh, umm…”
“We don’t get the camera face and we don’t get the runaround,” Cal chimes in.
“Exactly. Besides, you’re ours now,” Ellison adds.
“I won’t be here for very long. I’ll be back in Nashville the end of January.” I meet their annoyed expressions and feel my lips tip up in one corner as I rattle off my number.
“See? That wasn’t so hard was it?” Humor dances in Bea’s gaze as Ellison passes Remi to Cal.
“She’ll learn to like us,” Cal says, but I’m not sure if he’s talking about the baby or me.
“She has to—no takebacks, and you know how I feel about people.” Ellison sniffs.
“Yeah, you’re a real delight.” His smile says he knows how to push her buttons, and even though I hate to admit it, I do like these people already.
Dammit, Blackstone Falls, what did I ever do to you?