Chapter 10 #2
“This looks very sturdy. She’ll be using it until she’s eighteen,” I joke, trying to lighten the mood, but what I get is another stern glance.
Maybe we need a break, so I leave him there and go to the kitchen. A strong cup of coffee will calm us down and lift the mood. I put the kettle on, feeling like I’m at home here, and immediately remind myself that it’s only in my mind.
Once the coffee is ready, I walk back to Haden’s room, and he’s trying to kill the instructions again. So I place my cup on the dresser and pluck the piece of paper out of his hand, and when he begins to protest, I hand him the coffee.
“Enjoy this,” I say to him. “And let me read.” I don’t look at him, but focus my attention on the sheet in my hand. I hide my face behind it, to cover my smile, when he finally takes the coffee without a word and takes a long sip of it.
I don’t talk until he’s taken a couple more. “Okay, I’ll be the lead and you’ll be the labour.”
“Okay,” he agrees, still managing to look like I’m pulling teeth. “You’re in charge.”
“Charge of what?” I ask to make sure we’re on the same page.
“In charge of stopping me from making a mess of this bed, and to save me from my incompetence.”
“Okay, but you’ll need to lose that grumpiness and promise me you won’t shout in frustration.
“Deal.”
I hold my cup out so we can clink the cups in a silent agreement. I smile when he meets me halfway. The mood has been lifted. Coffee is going to save the world… or at least this crib.
“I should have agreed with the lady at the shop when she asked me if I wanted it delivered and built.” He’s grumpy again, but there’s a lightness in his voice that wasn’t there before.
“Too late, and you would have missed all the fun.”
“A baby hammock sounds more and more like the best choice. It would have been easier to build than this bed.”
“But your daughter is a princess and she deserves a comfy bed. You want her to sleep well, or you’ll have a lot of sleepless nights.” I hate the pain showing on his face at the word daughter. It must be killing him that he’s here while his sister is no longer with them.
“You’ve got a point.” But that lightness is lost.
We fight against screws, confusing pictures, and missing pieces. I hand him the screwdriver and each part as mapped on the instructions, and I hold my breath each time our fingers graze against each other, his touch as electrifying as last night, if not even more.
Haden’s frustration is palpable, and he grumbles each time a piece doesn’t go in as quickly as he wants. But so is the tenderness each time he stops to gently caress the blanket folded on the chair nearby.
That’s something you don’t buy. The love in each tread shines through, and reminds me of home, family, and devotion.
When he puts in the last screw, I want to scream in joy and hug him so tight I steal his breath. Instead, I slowly pull myself up, making sure my sore ribs aren’t juggled too much.
The bed stands proudly in the middle of the room, and maybe it’s not perfect, but it’s a step closer to making this house a home.
I exhale, tired but satisfied, and I nod back when he stands next to me to admire the masterpiece we were able to assemble.
“Not bad,” he says, and he’s exuding pride for a job well done.
“The baby will be very happy there.”
“Arianna.”
“She has a beautiful name… Arianna.”
“My sister always had good taste.”
“Do you have a picture?” I’m curious about her.
“My sister or the baby?”
“Both?”
He pulls his phone out of his pocket and unlocks it. I watch as he swipes through pictures… so many of them, and they speak of a life lived and love shared. Until he stops.
My eyes fill with tears when he caresses the screen with his fingertips, following the contour of his sister’s face, smiling happily at him.
I want to take a step back and give him a moment of privacy, but as soon as I move he raises his head, and a second later I’m looking at them.
The three of them, and they’re all smiling.
Haden’s smile is an uncertain one, as if he doesn’t think he’s part of this small family.
But the love his sister has for him shines through.
Haden’s sister is as gorgeous as he is, but Arianna commands the screen with her beautiful blue eyes and that toothless, saliva-dripping smile filled with happiness, peace, and security.
Was Haden the same when he was that age? I’d love to see those pictures, but that would be asking too much.
Why do I keep forgetting that it’s only temporary? Why does everything in him and in his house tell me that I’m home?
“They’re beautiful,” I say, focusing back on the picture and not fantasies that will do more bad than good.
“Yeah, they are.” He looks back at the picture, while I begin collecting whatever needs to be put in the rubbish.
“Leave it there, I’ll do it.”
“I’m not an invalid.”
“That you are, at least for now. Rest is your only focus.”
I want to scream, but his stern face is back, so I walk away and leave him there.
When I reach the kitchen to make myself a tea, my phone pings, distracting me from losing my shit and reminding him I can take care of myself. Even if, deep down inside, I love being taken care of. Another thing I should stop fantasising about. I spot it there on the counter and pick it up.
Jeremy… Just seeing his name takes away some of the tension in my body. I was so fucking worried.
Jeremy
All good here. That bastard hasn’t shown his ugly face yet. I’ve got the money for this month, so don’t worry.
Jay
I need to see you. If you don’t come, I will.
Jeremy
I don’t want to bother that guy any more than I did when I forced him to take you with him. It was hard to convince him not to call the police.
Jay
You won’t. And I can always step outside if you don’t feel comfortable.
Jeremy
Always trying to protect me. I love you, Jay.
Jay
Love you too. Don’t make me come looking for you.
Jeremy
I won’t.
“How is Jeremy?”
“Aah.” The phone flies out of my hands, but I grab it with some moves worthy of a top acrobat before it falls on the floor. “Don’t scare me like that.”
He scoffs, and it makes me smile. Always so full of words this man is, and yet he can still be caring and attentive.
“Shall I make coffee?” I ask, feeling again as if this is my home.
“Yeah, thanks. I’ll get the room ready for Arianna, and then I need to shoot off.”
“Work?”
“No…” His silence is not a silent one because for once his face talks. I witness the pain, the fear, and the resolution building up in him. “I’m bringing Arianna home.”
“I’m sure your sister will be happy to have her wishes fulfilled.”
“I just wish that didn’t have to be the case.”
“I’m sorry.”
He mumbles something and then leaves the room, and only when he’s gone do I register what he said…
I hope she won’t regret leaving her to me.
Why would he say something like that? He’s doing a great job with me. Sure, he’s not easy, but he’s not a bad person. My heart breaks for him and the baby, but I’m sure he’s going to be a wonderful father.
Shame I won’t be here to see it.