CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Sara
He looked like he was on the verge of collapsing.
What had happened to him?
I studied him closely, noting the sharp hollows beneath his eyes, the dark shadows smudging like bruises of exhaustion. His usually neat stubble had thickened into a beard, adding to his rugged, almost disheveled appearance. Wrinkled clothes hung loosely on his frame; his shoulders slumped as if carrying an unbearable weight.
Had he been sleeping at all? Eating?
Then there was that look. I knew it well.
Guilt. Shame.
The look of someone holding back words that needed to be spoken but couldn't quite bring himself to say them.
"You're not here because you want to come back to me, are you, Cole? You're here to tell me you've chosen her."
Cole let out a long sigh, his head dropping. His shoulders trembled as he shook his head. "I can't. I can't say it."
When he finally looked up, his eyes were red, glistening with unshed tears. "I don't have the strength to say it."
He took a shaky breath, his gaze pleading. "I can't lose you."
He ran a hand down his face, elbows resting on his knees. "I know I don't deserve to ask this," he said thickly. "I know I've already lost you. I know I've been selfish, and I hurt you so badly. But I have to ask, Sara... Is there any part of you that's still willing to stay?" His voice was strained, almost breaking. "I promise you, I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I'll be the man you deserve. Please, Sara."
"Cole..." The words felt heavy and bitter. "You have a child with another woman."
His face dropped back into his hands.
"I know," he whispered. "I know..."
"Has she given birth yet?" I asked, needing to know.
He nodded, his face still buried in his hands.
"Is the baby okay?" I asked. I didn't ask about Elsa. I couldn't bring myself to care.
Cole lifted his head then, and the look on his face nearly broke me. Pure, raw affection softened his features as he thought about his child. Despite everything, he smiled. "Yes. It's a girl. Her name is Elena."
"Good," I said with a small nod, ignoring the sharp pinch in my chest. "Is that why you went missing for days?"
"Yeah..." he replied, offering nothing more. No excuse, no justification. Just that one word.
And I didn't have it in me to ask for more. I wasn't sure I could handle hearing it.
"Why did we never have a child, Sara?" he asked, as if wondering to himself.
Another pinch in my heart when I answered. "We decided to wait. We wanted to focus on work."
"Yeah..." He trailed off, leaning back.
"But then you decided on your own to have a baby with someone else." The words came out sharp, edged with anger and betrayal. I couldn't help it.
Guilt clouded his face again. "Sara... I'm so sorry."
I sighed, exhaustion settling deep into my bones. "It's too late for sorry now, isn't it?" My voice was bitter, detached.
"I can't abandon my child, Sara. Especially now that she's born. I know all too well how it feels to be abandoned." His voice shook, desperation creeping in. "Elsa has been... difficult. Neglectful. She barely even looks at Elena." He ran a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated. "I can't leave my child with her. She would be—"
He stopped, shaking his head as if he couldn't bear to finish the thought.
"I'm going to fight for full custody. I've already talked to Steve, and he's helping me find an attorney. I might have a strong case. I even have witnesses."
I looked at him—the man who had broken me, who had made choices I could never forget, never forgive. And yet, here he was, fighting for a child that wasn't mine.
"Full custody?" My eyes widened. Wow. Cole was really committed to this.
"Yes," he said firmly, determined.
A bitter laugh slipped out. "So now you decide to be a good father?"
He didn't answer, but the look on his face said it all.
"Well, Cole," I said softly, my voice laced with hurt, "I think it's great—you are being a good man for your mistress and a good father for your child. I'm proud of you." The words dripped with sarcasm. "And don't worry about me. I'll be just fine without you."
"Sara..." His hands closed around mine before I could pull away. "I never meant to hurt you. The last thing I want is to drag you into this mess."
A sharp, humorless laugh escaped me, louder this time. "Yeah, sure."
"I'm so sorry."
I met his gaze, my expression hard. I could feel it. "You should thank me, Cole, because I just made things easier for you."
Confusion flickered in his eyes. "What do you mean?"
I tilted my head, observing him. "Yesterday, I went over to Maria's. You know her, don't you?"
The color drained from his face. Of course, he knew her. Maria—the next-door neighbor. A divorce attorney. And not just any attorney. She had earned a reputation for defending betrayed wives and leaving cheating husbands with almost nothing.
She and I were quite close. We went to yoga together once or twice a week. I liked her a lot.
"Ah, Cole." I clicked my tongue, shaking my head. "It never crossed your mind that I'd fight back, did it?"
He just stared at me, speechless, as if he didn't recognize me anymore.
"What makes you think I'd ever take you back? That I'd willingly tie myself to you, your mistress's child, and get tangled up with the worst bitch to ever walk the Earth?"
Still nothing. He was still staring.
"The world is wide open for me now, Cole. I'm still young. I have time to start over." I pulled my hand from his grasp, but he didn't even seem to notice. His eyes stayed locked on mine, darkening before he finally looked away. "But you? You'll spend the rest of your life living with the mess you made."
It wasn't easy to say all that. My heart was in pieces, shattered beyond repair. But I refused to let it show. I stayed strong because he didn't deserve to see my pain. He had no right to it.
He was nothing to me now. Nothing.
"And I'm going to be fine," I continued, my voice gaining strength. "I have people who care about me. But more than that, I am strong, Cole. You know I am. You don't get to break me. I will pick up the pieces of myself that you shattered, and I will come out stronger. Watch me. I'll prove it to you."
His shoulders slumped, his hands gripping his knees. "I love you," he whispered as if those words still held weight. "I'm so sorry I hurt you."
Silence stretched between us, heavy and suffocating. He didn't seem to know what else to say.
Then I stood, smoothing down my shirt, feeling lighter than I had in days. "I'll pack your stuff and send it to your office," I said simply, turning toward the door. "Maria will be in touch."
I left Cole sitting in my bedroom, drowning in the sorrow of his own making, and walked out without another word.
Downstairs, I found Archie and Emma waiting. Both had their brows furrowed in concern.
Emma rushed to me, wrapping her arms around me and stroking my back. "Are you okay?"
I nodded, but suddenly, I couldn't speak. My throat felt tight. I refused to cry here. I refused to let Cole see me break.
"You are the strongest person I know, Sara," Emma said softly. "You can get through this. You'll kick his ass to the curb. And if you need help, I'm more than willing. Honestly, I'm itching to kick something right now—preferably his face." She sighed wistfully. "I'm picturing it. Kicking him right in the face. That would be so satisfying, wouldn't it?"
She pulled away slightly, studying my face. "Cry, babe. Just cry. Lock yourself in the bathroom and let it out. No one will hear you. Scream if you have to. And while you do that, I'll be right here, waiting for him to come down so I can kick his face." She paused, tapping her chin in thought. "Actually, scratch that. Better to kick him in the groin. That's where all the trouble started, didn't it? And if he retaliates, Archie can protect me. He's bigger than Cole."
I smiled at her. My lunatic best friend.
And when she said she wanted to kick Cole's groin, I knew without a doubt she meant every word.
"Take me somewhere," I said to them. "Anywhere. I just need to get away for a while." My voice wavered, the weight of everything pressing down on me. It was too much. I needed space. I needed to hold myself together before I completely fell apart.
Emma's face fell slightly. "I can't. Ben is coming over—said he's bringing all of us breakfast." Ben was her on-and-off long-distance boyfriend who lived not too far from me. A good guy. Cole and I had met up with him for drinks from time to time.
"Go with Archie," she said, her tone leaving no room for argument. Squaring her shoulders, she set her expression with firm determination. "I'll make sure Cole doesn't overstay his welcome."
She all but shoved Archie and me toward the door, standing her ground like a soldier ready to defend her post.
"Okay," I said, secretly hoping—really hoping—she would actually kick Cole in the groin.
I slipped my feet, still in socks, into my sneakers and stepped outside first, still wearing the shirt I had slept in, layered with a cardigan and paired with pajama pants. I didn't look back.
Archie was right behind me, his presence steady and grounding. When I glanced up, he was already looking at me, a soft smile on his face.
"Let's go, Peaches," he said. "Let me make your day."