33. Sandro
Ifinish putting on the suit that Antonio brought me, and stop to look in the mirror. The reflection staring at me tugs on so many memories that it overwhelms me. The mighty Il Padrone. When there could only be one.
The pain my father put me through. The refusal to be like him. To build the Martelli name into something respectful. My collection of Boys, who I’d give anything for… And who left. I touch the mirror, almost as if I’m waiting for the man to disappear.
I knew you would be the one to break our Family. To ruin everything. Disgusting.
I wince at my father’s voice. Yet, the truth within it hits me hard. For a moment, I felt like my old self, only to have it snatched away. A reminder that the Martellis are no more, that I’ll never be a leader again… I’ll never be anything again.
I can’t say it’s anything more than I deserve. Fuck knows I’m lucky to be alive. Still, seeing my life’s work destroyed…
Generations. Gone. You destroyed everything we worked hard for in this life.
I jolt at the sudden hands on my shoulders, pulling me back to reality. I try to muster a smile for Tennant as I meet his eyes in the mirror, but it’s strained. The past still grips me hard, my father’s invasive voice twisting everything inside me.
“What’s on your mind, Sweet Boy?”
I shudder, dropping my gaze. I…I can’t look at him. Not with the massive waves of emotions crashing through me. I’m not worthy of it… Not worthy of him. Fuck. Maybe I shouldn’t have been allowed to live.
I should have killed you when I had a chance.
Flinching from my father’s voice, I struggle to stay in the present, but can’t. Not when it’s too much. Not when my father has his fingers wrapped around my treacherous brain.
I’m quickly whirled away from the mirror, Tennant’s fingers gripping my chin and forcing me to look at him directly. My breath catches at the blazing stare that sears into me. Fuck. That intensity…it takes my breath away.
“Tell me. Now,” he demands, the warning in his voice making me shudder.
“I…I still hear my father’s voice. Taunting me.
Reminding me that I ruined everything. That I lost everything.
I’m no longer Il Padrone. No longer the Master.
The Martellis…they’ve ceased to exist. Gone forever.
And fuck, I’m so proud of the Boys, and of Lio.
But it’s hard. I see the Amatos live on in Roman, but…
me? It’s all ashes. Scattered to the winds…
“I’m as useless as my father thought I was. I’m not part of this life anymore. Even putting this suit on. It’s hard. I love it. I want to wear it with pride. To reclaim that part of myself. But I understand, I’m too dangerous. Too risky. Part of me…”
I stop. I can’t say the rest. From the flare of fury in his eyes, I think he knows exactly what I want to say. But if I stop the words from coming out, then maybe we can ignore just how fucked-up I am. Because losing Tennant right now? That’s not an option.
His hand shifts, tugging at my hair instead of gripping my chin. It’s hard enough to bow me backward over the counter, as he invades what little space was between us. Forcing me to stare up at him as he looms over me. It makes me feel smaller than normal, yet…safer.
“Have you told Javi and Brannigan?” Tennant’s voice is soft, but fucking deadly. This is the Second others fear, and yet the stability he’s offered me…it fills me with a hope I don’t deserve.
“No,” I whisper, my heart pounding faster.
“No, what?”
My knees weaken and I grasp the counter behind me, needing it to hold me steady. “No, Daddy.”
“There’s my Sweet Boy.”
Tears gather in my eyes, from the sting of him pulling on my hair to the sheer fucking relief of finally telling someone the truth, stripping away the last layers to show my ugly core. And yet, somehow, he doesn’t leave me there alone. Like I deserve.
“Now, I want you to listen to me. Look at me, Sweet Boy.” I open my eyes, not realizing I’d closed them.
“This life has changed for all of us. The Martellis still exist. Not as they did, but your legacy lives on in those Boys who fight daily to shape this new organization, to bring that sense of family you taught them. They’ve done that.
You only need to see the cohesiveness within the Council to see your mark.
“And Lio. No matter what he’s lived through, he gets up every day and not just lives, but thrives.
That too is on you. You taught him that being on his knees didn’t make him weak, but strong.
Strong enough to say ‘This is what I deserve, even when it hurts’.
And his love for you is so powerful that you remain his Master.
Nobody else has been given that title, because nobody else deserves it.
“As for your place in the Council. I actually have information about that. If you’re interested in hearing it…”
Swallowing, I fight the twin feelings of hope and fear that seemingly choke me. I’m not sure what I want to hear, but fuck. Trying to be as courageous as he believes me to be, I say, “Yes, Daddy. Please, tell me.”
The grip on my hair eases, and he rubs my head instead, stroking it in comfort. Part of me sighs in relief when he eases me up, as my back was beginning to hurt from being bent over.
“The Council is making both you and Cristian offers. They would like you to serve. However, you have a choice in how you serve. They have a Special Advisory position, where they could use both your and Cristian’s experience, especially with our allies.
You could also choose to work with someone like War or Chaos.
I’m sure they’d love to have you. Or, since they made me a Voice, you could help me, especially since they’re making me have a PA. ”
I rock back on my heels at the last part. What the fuck? “How are they going to find PAs?”
“I believe Javi is going to give ideas. I trust it’ll be…
interesting. And hopefully, they won't fuck things up. Personally, I think having you work with me instead would be much easier, but this is, of course, your decision. And you don’t have to stick with any particular option.
You can start to work with one person and then choose the Special Advisory position later.
The Council believes in you both—and so do I, Allesandro. ”
I breathe deeply as he calls me by my name, something I’ve turned away from, that I’ve tried to bury. And yet…part of me yearns for it. Even if I’m not Il Padrone anymore, there are moments when I miss the old me, the one who could crush enemies and bolster the morale of my men.
“Thank you,” I choke out, overwhelmed by the belief in me. Fuck. Even after admitting how crazy I am, he still has faith in me.
“Now, with that being said, I want you to promise me that you’ll speak to Javi and Brannigan.”
Sighing, I nod. “I will. Brannigan is working with me on acceptance. But…I need to tell them about the rest. And if I do choose to go to work for the Council, in whatever capacity, I need to be healthy enough to serve them properly.”
“So maybe you work with me first? Then I can help keep an eye on you, while you save me from some nosy stranger who will probably mess everything up, causing me even more work. And when you’re ready, then you take up the mantle as a Special Advisor.”
“Hmm…true. I don’t like the idea of some unknown person working with you anyway.
How on earth could we trust them to do things right?
No, it’s better if I at least start and get things put in place so it runs smoothly first.” My mind is already shifting to logistics, to making things flow easily for him, because after everything he’s given me, this is something I can give back.
“Thank you, Sweet Boy. Now, are you ready to go put some assholes in their place?”
With a wicked grin, I respond, “Yes, Daddy. They’re going to regret messing with Sarah.”
“That’s my Boy.”
With that, he tugs me out of my room and toward the front of the house. I love that he keeps my hand in his. I’m still not used to holding hands with someone. I wish Lio and I had done more of that. So much time was wasted on vendettas, that we never got the chance to just…celebrate our love.
I promise myself to give him that. To give him romance.
I know he has others in his life now, just as I do, but I never want him to think he’s not my soulmate, because he is and thankfully, Tennant understands that.
There’s no need for jealousy, and that is a relief that fills me more than anything.
When he opens the door, I almost stumble to a stop. In front of us is a beautiful stretch limo. I whirl toward Tennant, my jaw dropping. “A limo?”
“I figured you deserved the special ambiance for tonight… And we want to make a statement after all.”
Swallowing hard, I take a moment to breathe, before lifting up slightly to capture his mouth with mine. I kiss him, pouring every bit of passion, love, and adoration I have in me into it. He takes control, deepening the kiss as he pulls me even closer, until there’s no room between us at all. Fuck.
He can certainly feel the hardness of my cock through these pants. But when he pulls back, it’s merely with a chuckle and a smirk. I blush, unable to stop it, which merely makes him swoop down and give me a gentle kiss before cutting me off.
“Behave, Sweet Boy. I promise, if you do, I’ll give you a treat after the meeting.
Anticipation curls around me, but I can only nod helplessly, my voice lost to a sense of wonder that I didn’t know I could even experience. Hell, as he leads me to the limo, the oddest sensation fills me, stealing my breath.
This almost feels like romance. Huh. I’ve never had that before…
And sure, maybe there’s some who would argue that heading toward a meeting that may end up a little messy isn’t exactly romantic, but they’d be wrong. Especially when he took the time to think about how to make it special for me. That…that’s love. In a way I’ve never gotten to experience.