Chapter 20
Brooke
“You have really gone all out.” I don’t know why I expected anything different.
Deidre’s finally getting her first grandbaby—in this case, grandbabies—and has waited a very long time for this moment.
I shouldn’t be at all surprised by the epic decorations filling her home.
Flowers are arranged on almost every surface, mixed in with candles and beautiful porcelain sculptures.
Eucalyptus is mounded across tables with pale hued roses dotted throughout.
Everything is in neutral shades of mossy green, creamy white, and warm beige.
It’s stunning.
“I just want Mariah to have the most beautiful shower.” Deidre is carefully assembling French macarons on a tiered tray. “This pregnancy has been very hard on her, and I want to make sure she enjoys at least a tiny little bit of the process.”
The way Deidre speaks about Mariah makes my heart ache.
Not out of jealousy, but out of sadness.
My mother would never go to this extreme for me.
Not unless she thought it would get her something.
The only time she’s ever put effort into our relationship was when she realized Matt would give her what she wanted.
And he did, because she helped keep me where he wanted me. Where they both wanted me.
“Honey, would you be able to do exactly what I’m doing here on the other display?” Deidre flashes me a smile. “Time is going way faster than I expected.”
I find that hard to believe. It’s not some everyday woman throwing a baby shower here. It is the famous Deidre Bradshaw. There’s not a doubt in my mind she has every aspect of this day planned down to the second. That means I’m getting a pity job. Something to make me feel useful and included.
And that’s okay. I know I’ve put everyone in a weird position by coming—and staying—here. The Bradshaws have done so much for me, and I’m insanely grateful. But I think we’ll all be a little happier when I have a place of my own.
Tobias will get his bed back. Family dinners will go back to being just family. No one will feel obligated to extend event invitations or scramble to find ways to include me.
And maybe then I’ll be able to think clearly instead of all my thoughts being dominated by the man sleeping only a few steps away each night.
After washing my hands, I go to the second stand and begin setting cookies across the tiers, doing my best to duplicate Deidre’s placement of both the treats and the flowers decorating around them.
I’m not as creatively skilled as she is, so it’s not nearly as perfect as hers looks, but I don’t do half bad.
I’m kind of impressed with myself.
Once the cookies are done, Deidre enlists my help with lighting candles. That does take freaking forever, but eventually every votive and pillar is glowing prettily, adding warmth to the decorations and ambiance to the space.
It looks beautiful. The sort of style I would have picked for my wedding…if I had been allowed to have anything to do with it.
Guests begin arriving, and I do my best to keep the snack trays and beverage stations stocked while Mariah, Titus, and Deidre greet everyone.
Technically, Deidre’s hired a whole serving staff to handle the food and drink, but I don’t really know anyone.
Rather than sitting alone in a corner, I decide to stay busy by helping out.
I’m opening our tenth bottle of champagne when Deidre approaches with a woman I don’t know.
They’re chatting about Deidre’s new cookbook and a television show she’s going to be recording in the fall.
Since the server stationed at this area is busy mixing mimosas, I go ahead and add champagne to the glasses pre-prepped with strawberry slices.
I’m halfway down the line when the woman selects a glass, lifting it up to look at the bubbling liquid. “Is this from your partnership with Birch and Berry Vineyards?”
I almost drop the bottle at the mention of Matt’s family business.
“No.” Deidre’s eyes meet mine as she selects a glass of her own. “I dissolved that partnership weeks ago.”
Staring at my friend, I nearly overflow the next glass, shocked at the information I’ve just learned.
Deidre’s partnership with Matt was always a bit of a sore spot for me.
Not because of Deidre, but because of Matt.
The way he used our friendship to gain access to a woman who likely wouldn’t have given him the time of day without his connection to me.
Every winery owner in the country wanted to partner with her, and I know the only reason she chose Birch and Berry was because Matt and I were engaged.
He had a very different opinion though.
Deidre and her friend step away, and I pass the bottle off to the woman serving, offering up an excuse about being needed elsewhere.
Stepping quickly and keeping my head down, I hurry out of the room, skipping the closest bathroom in favor of sneaking upstairs to one I’m sure no one else will visit.
Because I need a second alone.
Ducking into the bedroom I occupied before the flu hit me, I go straight into the attached bathroom, closing the door before leaning against the wall. Sliding down to my butt, I catch my head in my hands, breathing deep.
Why did I ever let Matt pressure me into setting up a meeting with her? Why did I let him pressure me into a lot of things? Quitting my job. Combining our money.
Getting married.
I didn’t want to do any of that, but he was relentless. Always framing things to make it sound like I’d be stupid to resist.
If I quit my job, I would have all the time in the world to spend however I wanted. I could take yoga classes. Volunteer. Relax.
If we combined our money, he could take the task of juggling finances off my plate. I wouldn’t have to worry about silly things like bills or credit reports.
It only made sense for us to get married. That way he could more easily take care of me. Everything that was his would also be mine. If there was ever an emergency, we could make decisions for each other.
It sounded so simple. And once I agreed to one, the rest fell like dominoes.
Until I had nothing.
Matt controlled everything.
He controlled me.
There’s a quiet knock at the door, followed by Deidre’s soft voice. “Brooke, honey? Can I come in?”
She doesn’t ask if I’m okay. Doesn’t question what made me leave so abruptly.
And since it is her house—and I likely owe her an explanation and an apology—I suck in a deep breath, trying to steady my emotions before saying. “Sure.”
I look up, but don’t stand as Tobias’s mother slides into the room, closing us in before sitting down across from me, her back against the vanity. She takes in my sitting form, looking me over from head to toe before saying the last thing I expect. “I didn’t know he was hurting you.”
My chest goes tight, lungs refusing to work. “Tobias told—”
She shakes her head. “Tobias didn’t tell me anything.” Her lips curve in a small smile. “But I’m happy to know you’re talking to someone about it.”
I rub my lips together, mind racing through everything I’ve said or done. “Then how did you know?”
“I knew it the second I walked into that room on your wedding day. I saw the terror on your face.” She shakes her head.
“I knew you and Matt didn’t share the deep love I was hoping you’d find.
But I never would have guessed he was capable of doing the kinds of things that would make a woman run away with nothing rather than simply admitting she doesn’t want to get married. ”
It was probably na?ve of me to think no one would figure me out. Now that Deidre is offering her perspective of that day, I can see how the explanations for my behavior would be few.
“I was willing to do whatever it took to get you out of that church, but I’m glad you were able to slip away unnoticed.” Her eyes narrow. “It would have been difficult to claim innocence if I murdered him in front of all those witnesses.”
A laugh bubbles out of me, because an image of Deidre choking Matt with my discarded veil easily flashes to mind.
Then I look at her expression, and find it's as serious as I’ve ever seen it.
“I’m not kidding, Brooke. I would have hurt him.” She cringes a little. “And I likely would have turned on your parents next.”
I’m suddenly so tired. Exhausted in a way that has nothing to do with how much sleep I’m getting.
“I don’t know how to make them happy.” A sigh slides out, taking a little more of my energy with it.
“I’ve tried for years, and the closest I got was when they found out Matt and I were engaged.
” I remember the looks on their faces. The pure joy they were experiencing.
But it wasn’t for me. It was for themselves.
“That’s because they thought they had a one-way ticket to all the money they could spend.
” Deidre’s head tips back, resting against the cabinet.
“I always wondered how they couldn’t see what an amazing daughter they had.
It frustrated me beyond belief that your mother picked you apart every chance she got.
” She reaches over, smoothing out the fabric of my dress.
“Deep down, I always hoped one day you would see the truth and break free of the hold they had on you.”
“They’re my parents. I’m obligated to be there for them.”
And they used it against me. Any time I would get close to leaving Matt, they would make me feel guilty. Remind me of how much they’d suffered to take care of me when I was a child. All it took to put me through college.
Except they didn’t put me through college. All I got out of them were the signatures required for my financial aid—that I paid back. But in their mind, they provided me with everything.
And it was my turn to pay them back.
Deidre leans forward, her hand gripping my shin as she meets my eyes. “You don’t owe anyone shit.” Her voice is sharp as she continues. “Not Matt. Not your parents. Not me.” She shakes her head. “Not even Tobias.”