Chapter 11 Rafael
RAFAEL
ISAT DOWN slowly on the stone bench at the edge of the rooftop garden, the celebration still buzzing behind me. It felt like it belonged to another world entirely, all the laughter and happiness at stark odds with what had just happened here.
I pressed my palms flat against my knees, grounding myself, staring out at the city while my heart raced. The kiss replayed in my mind as if I were trying to convince myself it had really happened.
But of course it had. I could still feel the warmth of Alessio’s lips…
the way he tasted…his hair brushing against my cheek.
I supposed it had been inevitable. He’d told me the way he was feeling and I’d gone after him anyway.
Maybe it had been na?ve to believe we could have any type of friendship.
Or maybe the truth was more dangerous than that.
Maybe I hadn’t wanted friendship at all.
The space he’d left behind felt loud, and I looked to my right like he would reemerge at any second.
I didn’t know what I’d do if he did. Already I felt my body humming and alive in a way I’d long forgotten about.
My pulse raced, and I felt too warm, especially underneath my robes.
My cock stirred, but that wasn’t even the worst of my body’s physical reactions.
It was the way Alessio’s kiss had sparked a flood of memories, ones I thought no longer mattered but came rushing back, causing a physical ache in my chest.
I closed my eyes like I could escape, but that only made it worse. My mind flashed back to the first time I’d felt the butterflies swirling in my stomach when I kissed him…
I STRETCHED MY legs out on the sand, my shoulder bumping against Alessio’s where we sat looking out at the ocean, the screams from those riding the Cyclone roller coaster echoing behind us.
“That’s what you sounded like,” Alessio said, smirking at me before shoving a whole fried Oreo into his mouth.
I narrowed my eyes on him. “Did not.”
“Mhmm.” He wiped at the crumbs on his mouth with the back of his hand, and my gaze dropped to one he’d missed.
I swallowed hard, fighting the urge to lean in and lick it off.
I’d been thinking about his lips a lot lately.
What it would be like to press mine against his—and not just to shut him up, either.
What would he do if I did? Would he shove me away? Tell me that was gross and friends didn’t do that kind of thing?
But sometimes I saw him looking at me too. At least, I thought I did.
So maybe, just maybe, he’d like it…
“What? Do I have Oreo on my face?” he said, snapping me out of my staring.
I could feel a flush creep up the back of my neck, and I snatched one of the Oreos from the small paper plate resting on his lap to deflect.
“Yep,” I said before taking a bite and forcing myself to look out at the water.
It was late in the season and hardly anyone was around, especially with it getting darker earlier.
The sun had already dipped beneath the horizon, making the sky a mix of reds and purples, which meant we needed to head home soon.
“I would’ve given you one if you’d asked for it,” Alessio said. “Maybe even two.”
That startled me out of my thoughts of his mouth, wondering if I’d said what I’d been thinking out loud. Giving me a foolish sense of hope that he wanted it too.
Oh. Right. He was talking about the Oreos.
Get it together. He’s your friend. And besides, the church says it’s wrong.
I finished off the cookie and wiped my hand off on my shorts, trying to ignore the way Alessio stretched his legs out beside mine, so close they almost touched.
Mine were longer, since I’d shot up a few inches the last few months, but his were more tanned with dark hair, which made sense, since he was Italian.
Italian and hot, I thought, my heart hammering like I was about to actually do the thing I’d dreamed about. But I wouldn’t. I never did. I just quietly pined after my best friend, and he had no idea.
“You okay?”
“Huh?”
“You went all quiet.”
“Was just thinking,” I told him, and leaned in to bump his shoulder with mine. “You should try it sometime.”
“But it hurts.” His lips kicked up at the edges in a way that had me refocusing on his mouth. “Plus, you do enough thinking for the both of us. Lemme guess, you’re worried we’re gonna get home late and get in trouble. We’re fifteen now—just blame me. I’m used to it.”
He was so far off, he had no idea. But at least that gave me an excuse.
“You know Mom likes me home before it gets dark.”
“So she can tuck you in and make sure you’re safe.” Alessio rolled his eyes and leaned in close to me, his face inches from mine. “What if I promise to keep you safe?”
He’d asked me a question, I was sure of it. But with his mouth so close I could feel his breath brush over my lips, I already couldn’t for the life of me remember what it was.
“Rafael?”
I swallowed, my eyes fixed on his full bottom lip and the way his tongue came out to slide over it… Almost like he was nervous too.
Oh God. Oh God. Is he… Does he…want what I want?
My heart thundered as I sat frozen, the ringing in my ears drowning out the screams from the passing coaster behind us, as Alessio shifted a little closer toward me.
A careful hand on mine where it rested in the sand was the steadying presence I seemed to need.
He leaned toward me, and as his lips were about touch mine, my eyes fluttered shut.
He grazed his mouth tentatively across mine, soft at first, a gentle coaxing, as if testing my acceptance of what he was doing.
But when I brought my hand up to grab hold of his arm and pull him closer, everything changed.
A soft groan left Alessio as his lips parted, then he slid his tongue along my lower lip.
Heat flooded my body, as if fire was licking through my veins.
My pulse hammered at the intimate touch and my fingers dug into his bicep.
It felt as though my entire body was vibrating from the inside out, and when his tongue slipped between my lips and rubbed up against mine, my dick jerked to attention.
I grunted at the sensation, the feeling new and exciting as Alessio turned and angled his head, almost as if he knew that would make this even better for us. I gripped his arm tight as he swept his tongue around the inside of my mouth, and a small moan left me.
“You taste like fried Oreo,” he whispered against my lips. “My favorite.”
A shiver raced through me as I sat there, my hand still clinging to him like he was a lifeline.
“Rafael?”
When I didn’t answer, too busy trying to process everything that had just happened, Alessio frowned.
“Rafael? I… Shit. Should I say sorry?”
“No,” I rushed out, shaking my head. “No, I just… You kissed me.”
A wide grin spread across his lips. “Yeah, I did. Did you like it?”
“I—”
“Don’t lie. God’s listening, remember?” That mischievous glint that always sparkled in Alessio’s eyes twinkled bright.
“I wasn’t going to lie,” I said, dropping my hand from his arm. “I liked it.”
“How much?”
“What?” I started to laugh.
“How much did you like it?” Alessio pressed. “Because I’ve kinda wanted to do it forever but wasn’t sure if you wanted me to.”
So I wasn’t wrong. He did watch me.
“I wanted you to,” I admitted as heat bloomed on my cheeks, the throb between my legs confirming, “I still want you to.”
“Like right now?” Alessio leaned in and grazed his lips over mine. “Or do you need to go home?”
I did need to go home. Mom would be mad if I was late. But when Alessio tumbled me back to the sand, his lips once again finding mine, I couldn’t find it in me to care.
Maybe his rebellious side was rubbing off on me—I wasn’t sure. But one thing I knew for certain, I suddenly didn’t mind the idea of getting into a little trouble.
Especially if that trouble’s name was Alessio Trentacapelli…
THE MEMORY SHATTERED with the sound of breaking glass somewhere behind me, followed by a chorus of laughs that brought me screeching back into the present.
I sucked in a breath, but my chest was too tight. I could still feel Alessio’s lips on mine, back then and only moments ago. Our first kisses had been perfect. Tentative, exploring the desire we’d been secretly hiding.
Tonight had been different.
Harder. Angrier. But still so familiar and so unmistakably Alessio.
And God help me, I’d kissed him back.
The city lights blurred in front of me, and I bowed my head, my hands clenched tight in my lap.
For the first time in a long time, I felt absolutely terrified. I was only seventeen when I’d made the decision that changed the course of my life. It seemed like the right choice at the time, and I’d never once questioned what I felt I’d been called to do.
Until now…