Chapter Five
Sadie
What a fucking trip this week has been. All week, the guys have made a point to be more vocal with their feelings.
That sounds simple, but when we got home on Monday, they got me to sit down and had me spell out my feelings for them.
I was so uncomfortable, but they were patient with me, and not once did I feel like I was being judged.
I gave them a severely watered-down version of my feelings.
I would never admit aloud that I inadvertently have sex toys dedicated to each of them.
Why? I don’t know. It started off as a little joke with myself, imagining what each of them would be like.
From there, they each took on a fantasy of their own.
Instead of telling me what their feelings were, they simply told me that they would show me.
I didn’t understand what that meant until the next day.
I went to the basement Tuesday morning to run, and the first thing out of their mouth was the usual “Good morning. How are you? How’d you sleep?
” At that moment, it hit me that I didn’t need some grand gesture from them, and they knew it.
They knew I just needed time to accept what I already knew.
They have always cared about me, and as a group, we have always checked in with one another to make sure we are doing okay.
No matter if it was in stressful situations or if we were having the greatest day of our lives, we still made sure to check in with each other.
Emotionally, we’ve been in a relationship for our entire lives, and this week has shown that.
It’s not like suddenly they are calling me beautiful when they didn’t before, or going out of their way to do sweet things.
No. They’ve always done those things. Every morning before work, one or all of them tell me I look beautiful.
One of us always makes coffee for the others.
We always make sure that the others have eaten breakfast.
Wednesday, Dean found a bug in one of our systems that was causing some issues. He was unbelievably stressed trying to figure this out before the update release that night. Lance made him stop and take a deep breath—I saw him do with Dean what they all do for me.
Last week, I would’ve just assumed that meant that I was just “one of the guys”.
But it’s so much more than that. Those three men will probably always live together.
They have a platonic relationship, but they are one hundred percent soulmates.
They were a bit thrown off when I said this because generally, soulmates are considered to be romantic, but I do think that your soulmate can be your best friend.
I think you can have more than one soulmate.
Without a doubt, I know now that I fit into that with them.
I truly cannot imagine my life without them in it in some capacity.
For so long, my relationship with them was platonic.
I was the girl best friend, and they were the guys who treated me like a princess long before I understood that they were doing it; before they knew they were doing it.
From a young age, I played football with them, and I still do.
Nothing about that was ever made to be weird.
Today is the day we meet up with everyone for our weekly game. Everyone is aware of how I feel about the guys and how they feel about me. Everyone knew before, but it was never admitted aloud. I’m curious to see how the day goes.
Todd knows that I’m sneaking away when we get to the restaurant, but no one else knows.
I’ve been keeping him updated on how everything is going with the guys, and he is still pushing for me to do this auction.
Last night, I forced him to tell me what his plan was because he was acting suspicious.
He informed me that when the guys realize that I’m gone, he’s going to tell them what I’m doing and that he put me up to it.
That will give them the chance to show up and pick me.
Lance doesn’t know that Angela will be there, though.
I was completely out of my element, looking for a dress, but I did take Todd’s advice and not get a black dress.
Instead, I got a gorgeous blood red, A-line, V-neck spaghetti strap dress that just barely grazes the floor.
It shows off every curve, and I look fucking amazing in it.
I’m going to have my hair tied up loosely with a few tendrils falling to show my curls.
I will also pair it with a matching color shawl and clutch.
I snuck away while the guys were busy so I could go down the road to a dress store yesterday.
I messaged Todd and asked if I could show him the dress because I don’t have any female friends that I’m close enough with to show.
He told me to show him, so I sent a picture of me in the dress.
He texted me back and said, “Holy fuck, Sadie. They are going to love that dress.” So I took it at face value and bought the dress.
I had it in the truck, since I managed to drive separately from everyone, so I could rush home and get it inside before they got home.
They pointed out that I was acting weird, but didn’t ask too many questions.
It’s another scalding hot summer day in Georgia.
I am in my usual spandex shorts, but I am wearing a sports bra and a drop armhole tank top, so I don’t roast to death.
This shows off the tattoo on my ribcage.
It’s of three blue butterflies. I got it for them, as a reminder that not only did they set me free from my ultra-conservative upbringing, but they helped me thrive; they are my whole world.
No matter where our relationship goes, they are my best friends.
When I park the truck, I go to get out, but Dean grabs me. “What is that?” he asks.
“What is what, psycho?” I ask. He doesn’t say anything. Instead, he gets out of the truck. I get out just as he walks around to me. He turns me to look at my side, and I laugh.
“When did you get that?” he asks
“Get what?” Mason asks. “Oh, that’s pretty.”
“I thought I saw something on your side last week. I wasn’t sure,” Lance says.
“When did you get that?” Dean asks again.
“She got it like a year ago. How am I the only one who knows this?” Todd asks. They turn and look at him.
“I forgot you knew about it,” I laugh.
“How does he know but not us?” Mason asks.
“Last summer. She took off her T-shirt, and I saw it,” he says. “They know why you got it?”
“No,” I laugh.
“You’re killing me, Sadie,” Lance says.
“I got it for you three weirdos. I thought y’all knew about it,” I say. My phone starts to ring in my bag, and I groan when I see it’s my dad. “Speak of the devil. Today is going to be a great day.”
“Your parents?” Dean asks.
“Dad,” I roll my eyes and answer as I go and set my stuff down. “Hello?”
“Hey, sweetie,” Dad says. “What are you up to?”
“At the park with the guys. What’s up?” I ask.
“Oh, just wanted to let you know that we are coming into town next weekend and wanted to see you,” Dad tells me.
I sit down in the grass and lie back before putting my phone on speaker, so I’m not the only one who has to listen.
Everyone comes over and sits with me. They all know how fucking stressful it is for me to talk to my parents, let alone see them.
“Are you coming on Friday or Saturday?” I ask.
“Saturday afternoon,” Dad says. “What time do you normally get done at the park on Saturday?”
“Generally around lunchtime.”
“Oh, good. We can just meet you for lunch,” Dad says happily. I throw my arms up dramatically, but don’t respond. “You there?”
“Yeah. Yeah. I’m here. I can meet you guys after,” I say. “I’ll just leave here a little early.”
“Nonsense. We don’t want to disrupt. We can just meet you all wherever you normally eat.”
“It will be everyone, Dad,” I say.
“Okay? Is that bad?” Dad asks.
“No, Dad,” I say. “I’ll send you the address of the diner.”
“Have you found a church yet? You haven’t been to a service in a while,” he says.
“No. You already know I don’t go to church anymore,” I say.
“I really wish you would, Sadie. Maybe you and the guys can come with us next Sunday. Your aunt suggested one for us while we are there,” he says. I drape my arm over my eyes and sigh.
“Dad… Can we talk about this later? I have everyone waiting on me.”
“I really wish you wouldn’t always hang out with those guys. People get the wrong impression that way, when you do nothing but hang out with men and work.”
“Jesus Christ,” I sigh. “What are you implying, Dad?”
“Do you understand how difficult it is for us to explain that our daughter is unmarried and lives with three men?”
“Then maybe tell people to mind their own business for a change. Or better yet… You can mind your own business,” I say, and Lance smirks at me. “I own a company with them. I’ve known them since I was five. Twenty-three years, you think you’d gather that they’re not going anywhere.”
“Don’t you get an attitude with me, Sadie. I am your father,” he says sternly.
“Then act like it. Show up more than twice a year and holidays and do more than shove your fucking religion down my throat,” I say, raising my voice. He goes to say something, but I hang up and turn my phone off.
“Well damn,” Mason says.
“I shouldn’t have done that,” I sigh.
“What’s wrong?” Dean asks.
“Oh, I don’t know, Dean. My parents, who are disappointed in my existence, are going to come to our home. They are going to figure it out so fucking fast that something is up between us,” I say. “Then I’m going to get lectured on how being a whore will land me in hell.”
“Girl… They sent you to an exorcism camp,” Todd says.
“I hate that y’all call it that,” I laugh. “It was a camp to help get rid of evil spirits in children and to cleanse them of wrongdoing.”
“That sounds like a lot of fancy words when you could just say you were molested by a youth pastor who told you God would forgive you if you serviced him,” Billy says.