10. Chapter Ten
Chapter Ten
K ade stares at the beer in his hand and sighs. He hasn't gone home with anyone since the night Jess caught him with Lena, and he can't figure out why. Something keeps stopping him, and if he's honest, it's starting to piss him off.
Tim's frostiness has thawed a bit, but Kade knows his feelings remain the same. At night, when he's lying alone in his bed and staring at his ceiling, he agrees. But relationships aren't his thing. Not since he got ran over by a truck with the last one. Nope, that's never happening again.
He glances down the bar and sees the guy he saw Jess leave with a few weeks before. Picking up his glass, he walks over and sits down next to him before he can talk himself out of it.
"Hey, man. You were here with Jess a few weeks ago. I'm Kade."
The man looks up from his beer and nods. "I know who you are."
"Not gonna tell me your name?"
"Landry Knight."
"Knight. That sounds familiar. What do you do?"
He laughs dryly, and he avoids looking at Kade aside from sideways glances. "Concrete."
That's where he knows him from. He's worked with him. And he's kind of a douche. "That's right. We worked with your company on that project over on Walker."
"Yep."
"Hanging out alone?"
Landry turns and finally looks him in the eye. "Man, we're not friends. And we're not gonna be friends."
"I'm just trying to be friendly. We have someone in common-"
"No, we don't. You never had her because you're blind."
The urge to pop Landry right in the face becomes overwhelming, but he just grips his beer instead. "Is that right?"
"And, to be perfectly honest, I don't like you. I'm paying for your mistakes."
"Excuse me?"
Nostrils flaring, he looks towards Tim. "She thinks she has to guard her heart from me because you ripped it from her chest and stomped on it after shredding it to pieces."
Kade immediately deflates. He never wanted to hurt Jess, and to hear what another man believes he did to her makes his stomach roll. "That was never my intention."
"What was your intention?" Landry asks. "Because from what I hear, you had everything most men want. What, did you decide she just wasn’t enough for you?"
"Look, I get you're pissed because you feel like I made your relationship harder than it should be, but you don't know the first thing about me. Or about what Jess and I had."
"You're wrong. I've seen men like you screwing up relationships for the rest of us all my life. You're a dime a dozen, and we're the ones who end up paying for it. I'm pretty sure I know you."
No, this asshole knows nothing about him. Absolutely nothing, and he needs to change the subject before he gets himself tossed out of his bar. "Where's Jess tonight?"
Landry chuckles and shakes his head. "Hoping to get her back like the last time you saw her here?"
"What makes you think she hasn't been here since that night?"
Kade knows it's a stupid comment, but he wants to say something to get under this guy's skin like he's gotten under Kade's.
"Because she's too protective of herself now. Thanks to you. She wouldn't set foot in here unless she absolutely had to."
"I was just asking where she was," he says and stands.
"She had to work late and canceled our plans. I was on my way to her place when she called."
Kade doesn’t know what projects she works on anymore because she doesn't work with him anymore. Serves him right to lose the business of one of the better architecture firms in the area.
"Just here for a drink before heading home then."
"Yep," Landry says.
"Well, if you decide you don't want to go home alone and need a wingman..."
It was meant as a joke, but the look he gets is nothing short of pure hatred. "Go to hell. That woman is an emerald in a sea of diamonds. You couldn't see that, but I sure as hell can. And if you think I'm going to be as stupid as you are to lose her like you did, you're sadly mistaken."
Sitting back down, Kade finds himself intrigued. "An emerald in a sea of diamonds?"
"Exactly."
"What do you mean by that?"
Landry chugs the rest of his beer before turning and facing him. Sniffling, he shakes his head. "She's a professional woman who knows her worth yet will always give as much as she gets from others. Probably more. It's rare to find a woman who enjoys the little things in life, like domesticity, but can turn around and dress up and look like absolute fire. If you think I'm going to risk losing that like you did, you're an even bigger idiot than I already think you are."
Kade watches him throw a bill on the bar, stand, and walk out. He didn't hold back at all, and Kade feels a bit shaken.
"Hey, you okay?" Tim asks.
"Uh, yeah. I'll take my tab."
"What'd he say to you? It looked intense. I was preparing to have to separate you, which is weird because you're not normally a fighter."
Memories of the last time he got into a fight flash into his mind, but he pushes them away. The feelings those memories stir up don't go away as easily, and he hates how something he's kept locked up tight for the past five years keeps coming loose lately.
"Kade?"
"Yeah?" he asks, his eyes focusing on Tim.
"Are you sure you're okay?"
An emerald in a sea of diamonds . "Yeah, I'm fine. Here's my card," he says and pulls out his wallet.
Tim takes it and walks away, his eyes constantly glancing back at Kade as he does. A few other regulars seem to take notice of his change in demeanor, and he's sure he looks ill. Or maybe like he's seen a ghost or two.
"Here," Tim says.
Kade signs it. "Put whatever tip you want."
"Kade," he calls, but he refuses to turn around. He can't.
In his pickup, he stops and stares at the empty passenger seat. He hasn't gone this long with it empty in years. No, he always has someone to bring home with him, and up until the past few months, that person was Jessica.
Yet will always give as much as she gets from others. Probably more.
Jess used to always joke that she matched energies. When Kade was having a bad day and acting a certain way, she'd try and get him to open up. If he refused, she'd start acting like he was to give him a reality check about how he was treating her. Nothing has ever been more effective in getting him to shape up than that.
It's rare to find a woman who enjoys the little things in life, like domesticity, but can turn around and dress up to look like absolute fire.
Jess knew Kade's history with his family, and when his dad was released from prison, he had a difficult time dealing with it. His father was charged and convicted of killing his mother, and the idea of the man walking around free amongst society after that just didn't seem fair when the only parent who truly loved him lay in the ground.
He drowned himself in alcohol and took a two-week vacation from work, burning up all his paid time off. But he didn't care. He stopped talking to everyone, but Jess wouldn’t let him shut her out. Though he tried to get her to, she never gave up on him.
She knew where his spare key was after a drunken night out, and she let herself in after he'd been in his hole about a week. He shouted at her to leave because he didn't want her to see him that way, but she refused. Instead, she cleaned up his place. Took all the glass bottles out to recycling, and then she disappeared. He thought she'd left, but she came back an hour later with bags.
Needing to know why she refused to listen, he came out to find her putting groceries away in his kitchen. She told him he's in a rough place, but he can't stop taking care of himself. And if he can't do it himself, she'll be there to help him. She not only made him dinner, but she prepped two more days’ worth of meals for him. And she never once asked for a single thing in return.
Jess stayed while he took a shower and cleaned himself up. As angry as he wanted to be, he knew what she did was thoughtful and selfless. The moment he dried himself off, he knew he needed a comfort alcohol couldn't provide him, and she never fought him when he took her to bed. She let him lose himself in her, and he couldn't have been more thankful.
Kade kicks his pickup into drive and heads to his condo. Inside, he lies on his bed and thinks about how Landry said Jess looks amazing dressed up to go out. That woman has made him want to skip dinner and stay in on more than one occasion. Especially when she wore a specific little black number because he knew what lingerie she wore underneath. God, she could make him beg on his knees with that outfit.
The one thing Landry didn't mention was how assertive Jess can be, but she's submissive in all the right ways. Letting him take control in the bedroom surprised him the first time they slept together. And every time after that. She had the perfect mix of letting him know what she liked while still letting him be the dominant one. Except on her knees.
As soon as he knew exactly what she liked, he made sure to hit all the right spots every time. If she's giving him a blueprint to her pleasure, he'd be stupid not to follow it. He knew where she liked him to kiss, how she wanted his tongue on her clit, and how to swirl his hips just right to hit the spot that drove her wild every time. That woman made everything so damn easy.
So easy. That's what being with her was like. She could be a workaholic and kind of bossy, but overall, being around her was the easiest relationship-like situation he's ever been in. And it scared him. He knows he could have easily fallen in love with her, but he refuses to ever let himself fall into that trap again. The heartbreak that inevitably follows isn't worth whatever bliss he may have for a short while.
"Isn't that exactly what you did to her?" Kade asks, talking to the ceiling in his dark room. "Let her fall in love and then break her heart?"
He hadn't meant to. Hurting her is still the biggest regret he has. But he did it, and he can't pretend it's anything but what it is. It's made worse by knowing he did it in the shittiest way possible.
"Are you sure she's the only one who fell in love? Or did you run the moment you knew you were falling, too?"