15. Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Fifteen
K ade left Jess's office with a smirk. He shook her. He could feel it. All he has to do is find a way to convince her how serious he feels about giving them a real shot and giving him a second chance. He doesn’t plan to go away until he's exhausted every option out there to get her to see he's the one for her. Just like he knows she's the one for him.
God, he misses her. Even seeing her angry and upset at his poor timing, he can't help but think about how beautiful she is. How much knowing she'd slept with Landry hurt him doesn't compare to how much he craves being near her. He wants to never have to miss her again.
Stopping at the store, he picks up a bouquet of flowers and drives the short distance to her house. She has no idea he's showing up, and he thinks the element of surprise will work in his favor. At least, he hopes it will.
When Jess opens the door, she jumps in shock to see him standing on her front step, and he can't help but smile. Her eyes are wide as he holds out the bouquet of roses for her.
"Kade?"
"Hi, beautiful," Kade says. "We need to talk. We need to talk somewhere that isn't out in the open in front of many other people walking by. I wanted to get your favorite, but they only had roses and weird flowers dipped in some type of dye."
Jess takes the flowers on instinct, and he steps inside, not waiting for her invitation.
"No, you have to go. Landry's on his way over."
Remembering the shadows in her bedroom on Friday has him clenching his fists at his sides. "Jess, I'm going to be completely honest here. I have no idea what the hell I'm doing, but I will do whatever it takes to win you back."
"Win me back? First of all, I'm not a prize to be won. Second, you never had me in the first place," she says. “That was your decision.”
Watching her stand in the entryway, holding the flowers he gave her, makes him happy. If nothing else, she didn't immediately walk into the kitchen and throw them away.
"I miss you. Nothing feels right without you around to talk to or see or touch. I'm going out of my mind."
"I already told you that I have no desire to be another number."
He shakes his head. "You would have the one and only number."
"You really are something else, aren't you?" she asks, and she laughs without sounding humored. "You come in here, months after you tell me you can't do the whole commitment thing I need, and now you're trying to tell me you're a commitment guy?"
"I didn't think I was. There are so many reasons why I believed that, but the truth is, the way I feel about you is different from how I felt about anyone else."
"And what exactly is it you feel for me?"
This is not how he wants to tell her he loves her. "Give me a chance to show you before I tell you."
Jess scoffs. "You can't even figure out how to verbalize how you feel. What do you think you're going to do? The only way you know how to show any type of affection is by getting me into bed. And we are not doing that again."
"I loved being with you in the bedroom," Kade says, testing out the word. It doesn’t feel as bad as he thought it would.
"Then why the hell did you need anyone else in it with you?" she asks. "Oh, wait, I know how you'll get out of that one. You didn't bring another woman into the bedroom. Not that I have personal proof of. No, you screwed her in the kitchen. She was your kitchen fling, and I was a bedroom fling."
He pauses, knowing he deserved that. He deserves so much more than that. "I hate what I did, Jess. I do. And I hate the part of myself that refused to let me give myself to you fully when I should have. You gave me an option, and I had something inside me too broken to see how much I need you. It took losing you from my life completely to really face everything wrong. It all starts with me."
"You have no idea how much I wished you came here and said just that to me," she says and lays the flowers down on the side table next to the front door. "How many nights I laid awake willing you to come here and tell me you made a mistake. But you didn't. And while you were off doing whatever with whomever, I met someone who wants to give me everything I gave you and never got in return."
"Look, I know I'm late to this, okay? I should have figured it out much sooner and come over, begging for another chance. But would you rather me do it before I was in a place where I could really give you what you needed and wanted from me? Before I could truly open myself up to you?"
"I'd rather you did it when I wasn't with someone else."
He's losing her. He looks into her eyes and he sees it. Everything he's doing now is too little too late. "Jess, please. Give me a chance to prove it to you. Whatever you want me to do, I'll do it."
"Kade-"
Jess stops when a knock at the door interrupts them, and her eyes widen in panic. He knows it's the other man. Landry . The name comes as a sneer in his mind.
"Don't answer it, Jess. Please. I'm begging you, don't answer it. We need to talk because I know you still care for me. The feelings are still there, and we just have to figure out how to work through everything I did wrong before."
"No, I won't ignore him. He was invited," she says and walks over to open the door. "Landry-"
"What the hell is he doing here?" Landry asks and walks in, standing a foot away from Kade. "What the hell are you doing here?"
Kade stares at the man a couple of inches shorter than him without flinching or backing down. "I came here to plead my case."
"What case?" Landry asks with a chuckle. "You cheated on her, remember?"
"It wasn't cheating," Jess jumps in. "You know, since he and I weren't officially together. We hadn't had the talk yet."
The frustration in her voice makes Kade angry. Angry at himself. "I was an idiot. I know it. And semantics doesn't get me out of hurting someone I deeply care about."
"You're just here because she's with someone new," Landry says. "If she wasn't with me, you wouldn't give a damn. You only want her because she moved on. You're the type of guy who wants what he can't have."
Screw him. "That's not true."
"Which part?"
"All of it."
"Tell me you didn't start realizing how amazing she is after our conversation at the bar."
Jess looks between them. "What conversation at the bar?"
"I realized it long before we talked. Our conversation really drove the point home that I had some shit to work through because I really hate seeing her with you. I'd hate seeing her with any man, but especially you. Because at the end of the day, you're not the one for her. I am. And deep down, you know that. That's why you dislike me so much."
Landry steps back. "You're lucky I don't punch you in the face right now."
"No one punches anyone," Jess says, stepping between them. "What conversation did you have at the bar? When did you two talk?"
"I saw Landry at O'Reilly's one night when you were working late. He says he was already on his way to your place when you messaged him, but part of me wonders if he didn't show up on purpose to see me. See what I'd do."
"Don't flatter yourself," Landry says.
Kade smirks. "He stopped in for a drink, and I started up a conversation."
"Why would you do that?" Jess asks, her brows furrowed, creating the cute crease on her forehead whenever she concentrates on something.
Kade can't help but admit he's asked himself that same question ten times over since Landry left that night. "Because I wanted to know how serious you two were. If you were still together."
"We are," Landry says. "So, get out. Take your exit like a man."
"No, if I leave now, I'm not a man. Jess did everything to show me how much she cared when we dated, and I took her for granted. I never let myself be the man she needed, and when she walked away, I let her go. None of that is what a man does. A man fights for what he wants. And he'll only stop when he's tried everything possible. I haven't tried everything yet."
"She's with me!"
Jess stares between them, and Kade wishes she'd say something. Anything. Instead, she just looks stunned. But maybe not saying anything means something. She's not jumping in, telling him how much he failed, and that he needs to give up already. Maybe, just maybe, her silence means there's still hope. That's all he needs. A little bit of hope.
"She loved me," Kade says. "That doesn’t just go away in a few months."
"And you don't love someone months after they leave your ass," Landry spits back.
No, he loved her before that. He just never let himself accept it, but he sure as hell doesn’t plan to tell this asshole he loves her today. "I don't want to live without her anymore. And I'm going to do whatever it takes to get her back into my life."
"You just want everything she gave you again, but you don't want her. You just want someone who might be willing to put up with such a shit person like you. A person who thought they saw something in you once upon a time, but she was wrong. You're still just a shit person."
"Stop it," Jess says, finally speaking. "That's not fair. You don't know anything about him other than how he hurt me. It doesn't make him a saint, but you can't call him a shit person."
Landry stares at her in disgust. "You're defending him?"
"I’m saying you don't know him well enough to say what kind of person he is. What type of boyfriend, or whatever you want to call what he was, okay, that's fine. He was a shit boyfriend. But you don't know anything about his life to say something so definitive about him as a person."
"What type of person is he, Jess?"
Swallowing, she glances at Kade. "The type of person who had a difficult childhood, but he figured out how to move past it. In some ways, not always the healthiest, but he did. He's the type of person who will drop anything for his family if they need him. He's the type of person who never misses a school play or concert or sporting game for his cousins. That's not a shit person, Landry."
"Do you still have feelings for him?"
Kade's heart races as he stares at her. Here's the moment of truth. Is he simply making a fool of himself, or does he have a chance? Even a glimmer of hope?
"I don't know."
That's not the answer Landry wanted, but Kade will take it. He almost smiles with happiness. I don't know isn't no.
Landry shakes his head and steps back towards the door. "You don't know? What do you know, Jess?"
"I know he shook my faith in men. But I did genuinely fall in love with him before he broke me."
"And you're willing to entertain this man after that? Because of him, I had to put in double work to prove I'm not just like him. I paid the price for his mistakes, and now you're not sure how you feel?"
Her jaw drops, and Kade knows there's something more going on than he realizes. And the hurt in her eyes makes him wish he'd have punched this man while he was in front of him.
"You're upset because I made you wait," she says.
"I'm pissed because this man had you so torn up, you wouldn't let me know where you lived for almost three weeks! And then you go and defend this asshole? Yeah, I'm pissed. I'm pissed that I put in time with someone who clearly isn't on the same page as me."
"You attacked his character!" she cries. "I'll defend anyone who's being wrongly accused of something. I get you're upset, and I'm sorry you feel like I punished you by making sure I protected myself before letting you all the way in, in all sense of the word, but you stepped over the line."
He shakes his head and snarls. "You need to figure out what the hell you want. I deserve someone who's all in, not this person who can't decide how she feels."
"Woah, back up a second, buddy," Kade says.
"I'm not your buddy."
Ain't that the truth? "She didn't invite me over here. I saw her today because I needed to talk to her. I showed up unannounced, and she told me to leave because you were coming over. She let you in after I asked her not to, so get off your damned high horse. I hear your tone, and this isn't her fault. It's mine. You wanna be pissed? Be pissed at me."
"You have to decide, Jess. What do you want? Do you want someone who puts your heart through a blender or someone who's been here, all in, since day one?" Landry says. "Once you decide, let me know."
Kade stares at him in shock. "You're not gonna fight?"
"I can't fight for someone who doesn't know if she wants me or an asshat who broke her heart. What's the point?"
"The point is showing her you're willing to do whatever it takes to keep her. I lost her, and I want her back. I know firsthand how it feels to lose this woman, and you will regret it if you just leave without putting in a solid effort."
"What are you doing?" Jess asks. "I don't understand this."
Kade turns to her. "I don't want to be a consolation prize just because he gave up on you. If you choose me, I want it to be because you see how much I care about you. How much I'm willing to fight for you and prove I've changed. And if he really cares about you like he claims, he'll make this decision as difficult as possible for you because it should be difficult. You deserve the world, Jess. I'm just sorry I didn't see it before."
Her eyes look between them, and she shakes her head. "You're right, Landry. You do deserve someone who's all in. Kade, you're also right. I deserve the world."
"What does that mean?" Landry asks.
"It means I need to take in everything that's happened with both of you, as well as what was said here tonight. You should both leave because I'm a little overwhelmed right now," Jess says.
"You're telling me to leave?"
Kade leans back in fake surprise. "You gave up on her!"
"I did not give up on her! I told her she needs to decide!" Landry shouts. "Which she does!"
"Watch your tone," he warns.
"I'm shouting at you, asshole, not her."
"Don't shout at anyone. You know what? Don't talk to each other. Just walk out, one and then the other. Don't hit each other. Don't look at each other. Just get into your vehicles and drive away. Okay?" Jess says. "I feel like a first grade teacher right now."
Kade and Landry exchange hateful glances, but they nod. Landry holds the door open for him, and if it wasn't for the fact Jess looks like she’s sick of both of them, he'd fight to be the last one to leave. Instead, he decides to do what she asks. For now.